⛤ July Q&A (Patreon)

whiskey sour time for my increasingly displeased uterus! how have you been? I've been going through something of a somatic reset, kicked off by having to quit cardio due to the sweltering Missouri heat. and though I'm planning to break into my cardio routine again soon, I couldn't help but notice just how much stress I am suddenly no longer under. you guys know that I am someone averse to slowing down and running on sheer anxiety is all I've ever known. I had no idea I could feel this calm. or that my skin could be this good! or that I have hunger and fullness cues! what's next? am I going to develop an appetite? heal my dermatillomania? time will tell. somehow I was under the impression that if I allowed myself to relax, the whole world would fall down. but so far I've only been less easily overwhelmed, my intuition is on point, I'm more comfortable in my skin, more attuned to my needs and better able to hold my own no matter the situation. all because my blood is no longer 75% cortisol. how much cortisol is your blood? do you even remember what it's like to take a breath without guilt? giving yourself permission to exist will make that happen for you. after all, you're already here. what's anyone going to do about that? murder? that's illegal. be. exist. take up resources. do what you have to so that you may do what you love. that's a beautiful quote, I should write that down. but seriously, I really do recommend slowing down to find your equilibrium. the quality of life you will gain is absolutely priceless. thanks for coming to my ted talk. 

What is something you’d recommend doing to surprise a girl who hates surprises? I’m lost on how to surprise her for her birthday. that's a tough one because people have different reasons for saying they don't like surprises. some people genuinely do not deal well with the element of surprise in which case, whatever you choose to do would benefit from a heads up. other people may have a negative association with surprises but may trust you to have their best interest at heart and feel relieved when the surprise turns out to be a pleasant one. normally when I get surprises it's because Jack bought me something he knows I wanted but have put off buying because it's non-essential. I think you can't go wrong with giving her something you know she wants but doesn't expect. it's a very thoughtful gesture and shows that you pay attention. if you want to make the day memorable, you could reserve a table at a nice restaurant that serves food you know she likes, with ample time for her to get dolled up. I know not everyone is as vain as I am, but I think most women would want to be appropriately dressed and ready for a special occasion. contrary to the popular "just sweep her off her feet" trope, I think it's more thoughtful and courteous to give someone time to mentally and physically prepare for a situation. I hope it goes well!

Do you still have that backdrop with the clouds and full moon? I checked just for you and it doesn't seem like I brought any of my old backdrops with me. likely because they were too small for the wide angle lens I use now. I could barely fit my whole head in the frame with it in a 18-35mm lens. the backdrops I use now are either very large printed tapestries or just plain sewing fabrics from Joann's. 

Did you and Jack have a pleasant July 4th? Yes, we went to a friend's house for a cozy BBQ. I tried wearing red lipstick as I thought it appropriate for 'Murica day, but as always I felt a little ridiculous. I really do try to wear colors sometimes! It just feels so wrong. My friend looked very surprised, having only seen me with black lipstick or chapstick before and went "you're wearing red lipstick, that's so different! how do you feel?" and I replied "uh... like a clown to be honest"... I just don't feel right unless I look like the type of woman Type O Negative wrote songs for. But I was kindly poured enough whiskey to not care very much and I was pleased that everyone liked the fruit salad and strawberry cobbler I brought. mostly I was glad to not spend the evening in our neighborhood which is semi-sketchy. it's not the ghetto by any means, but drive a couple streets and that's exactly where you'll be. the previous year, people in our area must have blown easily $250k on fireworks because from 7PM to 1:30AM it was nonstop boom boom boom... that was not a fun experience for someone sensitive to noise. I don't recommend participating in any part of that without ear plugs. 

If you could be a mythical beast Greek/Norse what would you be? I'm not sure if nymphs count. technically they are mythical creatures, but maybe more humanoid than you were thinking. spiritually, I personally identify a lot with nymphs lol. if not that, possibly a sea goat. 

Do you listen to any other asmrists and who are they? to be honest it's been forever since I've listened to ASMR. like, a good long while before I moved here. I just don't have as much time as I used to and have to prioritize my hobbies. also, I wouldn't even know where to begin looking for ASMR that's interesting to me. most of the artists I used to listen to have stopped posting and at this point the market is oversaturated with thirst trap wet mouth sound mukbang cash grab trash. it makes me not even want to call my videos ASMR anymore because of how synonymous the term has become with sex work. the line seems to blur more and more by the minute. in my head, I just make relaxing videos. the tingles are a bonus, but I want it to be very clear that I'm in the business of helping people sleep. remember when ASMR was about sleep? I feel so nostalgic for the good old wholesome haircut roleplays filmed on shitty iphones that somehow always did the trick! oh and if I see one more "my pet eats random shit" ASMR video on my homepage I am going to scream. 

I'm going to go to bed before I have a chance to do that. my night has already been quite long and Jack is about to get up any minute now. let's all hope that fall is almost around the corner so we can all leave the house again without instantly dropping dead. still need your sunscreen, though. thank you for posting your questions and I will take care of the other posts later. take care of yourself 🥃