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just a candid 3AM chat about mental health and how being in the US for the last 9 months has affected me on multiple levels. in a relatively short time I have grown not only more confident and self-assured but also open and optimistic. it may have taken longer than anticipated to start to recover from the bad mental (and physical) place I used to live in back in germany, but repeated exposure to kindness and hospitality have helped me overcome my crippling social anxiety to the point even of making friends and engaging in small talk with strangers without fear. I am infinitely thankful to everyone here for their warm reception of a complete stranger they have nothing to gain from. special thanks are due to my husband for being there with me every step of the way and our somewhat antisocial cat for somehow magically loving me and accepting me as her loving step-mom. further thanks are reserved for everyone who has stopped me to randomly compliment me when they didn't have to go out of their way to do so. I would also like to thank all the government officials who let me into this country this time around. and lastly, Inge from Denmark who married us without demanding 30 years worth of paper trails and immigration documents from either sides of our respective families. 

my husband beautifully summed it up as "thank you to this person and this person and sass sass sass!" 

I'm in a much better place now and honestly still getting used to things being good and the catastrophe my subconscious mind is still anticipating just never arriving. even if it takes another year or multiple years for my nervous system to register that we are not in imminent danger 24/7, the improvements in just the first 9 months give me hope for a future where I can thrive - not just survive. where I can contribute in a powerful way to the progression and healing of others like me. where I can be the change I want to see in the world. in a slightly less cliché and pretentious way than this phrase always seems to come across. 

happy healing!

Files

☯ how my mental health improved since coming to the US ☯

in this class a video I talk about how my mental health and outlook in life improved just by living in a place that doesn't hate me for the last 9 months. quality social experiment, sample size 1. compelling evidence for the mental and emotional benefits of not being bullied every day. I conclude that the result is in favor of dramatic psychological improvements following repeated exposure to kindness and basic human decency.

Comments

apirux

May this healthy and positive streak continue. Rather than anticipating impending catastrophe, though, it seems more like this happy period has long been overdue. Wasn't this something hard-won over many years of patience, faith, and effort? You've also been spreading positivity for a long time. If you planted a peach tree, why would it yield lemons? Expect a peachy harvest.

apirux

One peach of many. May this peachy streak continue as well. Likewise, thank you (both). It's always wonderful to hear about you two doing well.

Andrew

It is great to hear how much better things are going. Always appreciate your willingness to share. Thank you.

Anonymous

Good, It eases the soul knowing you're secure in the heartlands. Take it easy!