☽ turning fortune ☾ (Patreon)

update: since casting this spell, multiple unusual things have happened. I've gotten way more positive feedback for the videos I choose to create, from people who see and recognize the art in them. and way less comments from people complaining about my dark appearance and the fact that my face isn't in some of them. overall it feels like in this area there has been a shift towards the recognition of my work and I have a strong feeling that my time will soon come. I've also stolen this vote

using this opportunity to thank you if you voted for me. my midheaven is in Libra and I am so impatient for this video. so while it may mean nothing to a lot of people, I was shocked that so many of my subscribers went out of their way to make me happy. I anticipated maybe 100 people to vote at the most. this instance has both made me feel exhilerated and empowered and triggered me to face another one of my oldest wounds. (I felt intense anxiety, like everyone hated me and wanted to hurt me for getting what I want. being raised by a narcissist, I was never allowed to be selfish and everytime things worked out in my favor, I was met with disdain and disapproval and blame for others not getting what they want. I learned very early that this was not ok and I think it has a lot to do with my pattern of disallowing good things in my life.)
after working through this trigger (and being reassured by my husband that no one is coming for me because I won this time), I've been able to make a crack in my life long anxiety around being universally hated and the subsequent conclusion that everything in this world is against me and started to feel as though my life is a result of my choices - meaning I can actively influence it as such. excited to see where this goes. 

are you feeling it yet?

over the three days of the full moon, this is what I have been working on. a spell for turning fortune a.k.a invoking good fortune. I felt called to do this after a period of facing my own inner enemy. 

a little bit of personal backstory: I come from a past where I had very little control over what happened to me. from a young age I learned that I have no say in my own life and as a result, I felt powerless to the world. magic has always been my way of coping with blatant injustice and exercising personal control. most recently, I was called to face this old wound - the belief that no matter what I do, the universe will do anything to foil my plans. the same belief held by the wounded child in me who has been made to feel undeserving by virtue of just who she is, who has learned that no matter how much she achieves, it will always be taken from her - either by evil people who just get away with all the things she was denied or by the people who have deemed her undeserving, who will not hesitate to give her fortune to someone they deem more deserving. this injustice has stayed with me for most of my life and led to coping mechanisms like hypervigilance in a desperate attempt to "prove" my worthiness. how did I prove my worthiness? by working myself to exhaustion. the last spell I cast for clearing karma has led me to the knowing that this is what I have been doing and it hasn't been working. time and time again, I had to face this lack of control over my personal fortune. even though the devil's face had shifted from people in my childhood to the world and the universe at large, the pattern persisted. 

the next logical step was to clear it. 

I thought for a good while about how to make a real change in this area of my life, but the thing is - I can't control the world. there was no step that I could take in my immediate reality that would give me control over what the world chooses to throw at me. I only know how to manipulate energy. this was the only open door I could find, so I knew I had to. in order to shake this pattern and do away with it for good, I had to act on the one thing I had been denying myself. 

my belief in personal impotence had kept me from casting fortune spells before, so this is the first one I have ever done. and I did it with the desire for change, to actually actively bring goodness into my life, rather than sacrifice myself and wait for it to be handed to me. I felt the energy for this rising in me so powerfully, that I decided to make it a collective thing and included 100% of my cosmic tier patrons. 

in this grid I used strategically placed tarot cards and crystals, fueled by my favorite way of casting - fire. a tried and true candle spell was the basis for this. 

this whole thing gives me major "live long and prosper" vibes just looking at it. we have herbs and plants and essential oils for good fortune, health, wealth, love and longevity represent. I inscribed the candle with my intent, anointed it with frankincense, rosemary and patchouli essential oil and dressed it in goldenrod, roses and an herb blend for luck. seemed like it would work. i also arranged around it cedar, goldenrod, roses, cypress and ginger - for wealth, fortune, love, longevity and energy. underneath my iron bowl is the petition, shown above.

the grid that was being fueled by the spell features select tarot cards from the thoth deck:

vertical row - temperance, fortune, 6 of pentacles (success) - affirmation: I now create/invoke great fortune with great success. self-explanatory.

horizontal row - justice, the sun - affirmation: for justice and glory. to heal perceived injustice, balance the scales for all of us who have gone too long being denied our right to experience goodness and live a beautiful life. 

four corners - 10 of pentacles (riches), 9 of cups (joy), 6 of wands (victory), the lovers. affirmation: for wealth, for joy, for victory, for love. to flow the energy of this spell into these four channels. wealth, experiencing abundance, money and blessings coming easily. joy, our birth right to experience positive emotion and reasons for celebration. victory, so that whatever battles we fought, are fighting or will have to fight will be settled in our favor, so that we will overcome any challenges we face. love, so that we may be free to love and true love finds us. for a full and rich love life. 

for each of the cads, I intuitively chose rocks that would help boost the energy I intended to set forth. 

temperance - labradorite, sapphire, fire agate.
fortune - yellow fluorite.
success - fire agate
justice - smoky quartz, fire agate, blue apatite, vesuvianite, petrified wood.
the sun - sun stone, carnelian, green garnet.
riches - pyrite, aventurine, green-yellow jasper.
joy - citrine, amethyst.
victory - amethyst and amazonite (on red jasper)
the lovers - rose quartz, amber, garnet.

I inscribed and dressed a new candle for three consecutive full moon nights, then burned the petition to send the energy out to all of us. woke up the next day feeling a sense of peace, but that may just be my personal journey of taking my power back via this spell. have you observed any changes yet? I feel pretty good about this and certainly not opposed to repeating this spell whenever things don't feel quite right. it has a highly positive charge. another observation I've made is that I've been able to relax more than normal. and by that I mean at all. I'm starting to recover from my whole damn life and have periods where I feel like myself, unburdened by some impossible standard I have to live up to, to be barely acceptable. it's a very healing and important shift I am undergoing, that this spell has been a part of. may it prove successful for you and may you all live long and prosper. cheers