Type O Negative ASMR (Patreon)

When posing  with my pop for the thumbnail, my exact thought process was: What's the most ironic ridiculous unrelated brand plug sellout pose I can- yup. This. 

My feelings in a nutshell: Excited af to publish my baby, a little bummed out that it's not a perfect baby XD

Well... I hope you like this video. I learned that the longer I work on a project (and manage not to hate it), the more excited I get to show it to people. Even though I can't remember lyrics for shit, even though everything takes way too fucking long, even though all odds are stacked against me here. I had a lot of fun making this. To me, video creation is about finding that sweet spot where I'm really stressed because I'm giving it my all but I'm also enjoying it enough that it's worth it. Too stressed = not worth it. Too laid back = not maximizing potential. The golden spot is to be stressed AND having fun. (Still wish I could delegate some of the work. I need a team of people to help me out like everyone else)

A little trivia about the video: I clearly succeeded at finding ASMR triggers to use as interludes for each song. Can of pop and fizzy sounds was my first idea that sparked all of this though I struggled with the cam/mic setup to be able to get the best fizzy sounds. I wish I had a studio with like ceiling mounted microphones like I've seen on other channels. That woulda probably worked. But I did the best I could. I just really hate being able to see the microphone in the video, it's my ASMR pet peeve. The microphone should be the viewer's ears, I prefer to keep them attached to the viewer's head and not rip them off and put them in the middle of my shot. If I have to sacrifice a little sound for that, that's fine by me. The intro for Everyone I Love Is Dead was originally meant for Pyretta Blaze and my job was to decide between that and sparklers. But then I realized I had a skull thing going on in that clip and that it could probably be appropriate as an offering to the dead? So I put it there instead. You're welcome, Steve. I also wish I had a studio because my neighbor is just mocking me at this point. It's like he's being a noisy fuckface on purpose because he used to be asleep by like midnight but now he gets up to smoke like 8 times at 2AM and pisses every 10 minutes. It's such a pain in the ass to have to retake everything a million times because he can't sit the fuck down for 5 minutes in the middle of the fucking night. Considering getting into black magic just to pay him back for all the videos he managed to ruin with his fat rude sexist ass. I shouldn't have to deal with that just for trying to do my job. I try to make the best of it, but it feels like I'm succeeding in spite of him existing, and it would save me so much trouble if he just didn't. Unnecessary bullshit. I'm ok putting up with things that can't be helped, but that level of noise absolutely can be helped. He just doesn't seem to understand that it's possible to walk around without destroying the landlord's property. Long story short, I regret that it took me this much longer to get the video done because fatass keeps getting in the way. I wish I could move. In case it's not obvious, I tried to make the aesthetic as ironic as possible, because I never got into pop culture and things like that just don't interest me. So my impression of "pop culture" is just whatever trickles down from the outside world into my glorified witch cave under a genuine rock where I hide in my safe space and forget how much of a train wreck the rest of the world seems to be so I don't have to feel like I want to die all the time or wish most people dead. So I paired as many seeming paradoxes as I could to subtly fuck with anyone sensitive enough to notice. Cutesy bikini looking top + bat necklace = checks out. Bright lively colors taken from pop music videos, but only against the blackness of the void that's eating everyone alive while they pretend to be cheerful "normal" people running to every distraction under the sun to avoid facing their shadow. Pouring bubbly colorful soda into a skull glass to allude to the viciousness of profit greed at the expense of people's livelihood. A little bit of soda ain't gonna kill ya, but a substantial amount of it will make you ill. And then there's glow bracelets vs a pentacle vs liquor bottle candle holders which, idk, kinda feel like mixing mutually exclusive messages. Spirituality and spirited parties and depression is my personal association. 

It's way too hot over here to hold a straight thought and I'm melting. Let me know what you think of this project - idea, execution, critique - but most of all tell me you love me and appreciate my hard work. 

I'm anxious to show off anything that's actually representative of who I am, especially if it's not perfect, which it isn't. I'm not good with numbers. It may be rare that pi comes up in song lyrics, BUT WHEN IT DOES, IT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITES AND THE ONE I WANT TO SING VERY BADLY. Not because of pi, in spite of it. Gah.

I͓̽ ͓̽h͓̽o͓̽p͓̽e͓̽ ͓̽y͓̽o͓̽u͓̽ ͓̽e͓̽n͓̽j͓̽o͓̽y͓̽