Summer Solstice Vlog 2019 (Patreon)

What do you know, the Mega tier video is not late this month! I'm getting better at this!

I filmed that particular day in my life because summer solstice is kind of a special occasion and if I weren't tied up by depression I'd probably have done a ritual. But I did the best I could from where I was and that's what matters. I can't help but lament going back to my uninspiring everyday life now that Jack is back in the US and I struggle to keep a positive outlook. Every day I try my hardest to not let the hopelessness swallow me alive. Most days I do a pretty good job but once I run into boredom and frustration, it doesn't take much to spiral down to hopelessness and depression - and it goes very, very quickly. That's just the background for what I'm dealing with every day. Positive emotion is still new and shiny to me so it'll take a while to get used to it like I've gotten used to depression over the course of a couple decades. I hope you liked seeing a day in my life as I attempt to pick myself up after an acute depressive episode. It's usually a good sign when my sense of humor returns as seen at the end. 

I liked working on this vlog much more than the rest because I didn't have 2 god damn hours of footage to sift through. Maybe it's time to downsize my projects a little to prevent going stir crazy. At least for a while. I will post a sneak peek of the next thing I'm working on soon. Also, if you'd like to see something other than vlogs, by all means, tell me. Cause I keep trying to think of things that might be fun for you to watch and not too damn miserable for me to make and vlogs still come out the winner every month. If you just really like seeing snippets of my life, that's fine. I'd just really hate to bore you all to death. Have a good day