longest, hardest week ever (Patreon)

This week (and the week before) I had all the appointments (not nearly done) and you know how that always fucks with my sleep schedule so I'm still recovering from the overwhelming stress, fatigue, sleep deprivation, emotional rollercoaster and ugh the yucky medical stuff. I've been unsuccessfully trying to work and I have 3 video ideas that I just have to find the time and energy for. 

At first I was pushing to do the mystery video but after that didn't work out TWICE, and there was a stupid ridiculous problem with the PO boxes and I couldn't get my tripod (thanks DHL), I started thinking about something easier I could do. I have this little quirk where I want each line on my [Esc] reality instagram to match and the last picture had lots of black with mauve accents so that color made me think of a dimly lit spa room and thus was born the aromatherapy massage idea. "Yet another massage video?" Yes, but do not fret, I'm going to mix it up a bit. First of all I thought of incorporating more whispering than I'm normally comfortable with. This video is gonna include a rather long intro compared to the other ones I made where you will be served tea and I'll break down the selections of aromatherapy essential oils, what they do etc., so you'll get to enjoy some tapping, clinking and other triggers before I wash and rub your back thoroughly. There's a little more that I don't think is worth explaining here but you'll see when it's done. Turns out, making that video wasn't exactly "easy". I spent 3 hours the other night researching and writing down notes (god I wish I had a functioning printer) and decided nope, I'm too exhausted, I can't do any more. And last night I had an emotional meltdown and was like nope, there's no way I can make myself sound like I didn't cry. So, 3's the charm?!

Screw me and my quality standards. I feel like it would be easier to put out videos if I could tap on random shit for 20 minutes like everyone else.  I know I'm probably more frustrated about this than you are. I just try and try but nothing works. The worst feeling ever is having to do a crap ton of stupid and unnecessary things just to accomplish seemingly simple tiny steps. This has been the past two weeks for me. Mercury doesn't go in retrograde until June so I just assume all my planets are in a square to each other just all of them. 

I also bought two packets of temptations this week already, in your names of course. (They changed the name in Germany just like they do for everything else)

And I'll be loading off over 15kg of cat food at the shelter before I leave! Thank you so much for your generosity, to myself and the kitties. I'll take a picture of the loot but probably not in the shelter cause I don't wanna show up like "Hi yes I'm here to offload cat food oh and by the way can I take a picture to boast about how awesome I am?" so you're just gonna have to take my word for it. 

Wish me luck getting some work done and surviving all the medical stuff I have to get through before I leave. Teeth cleaning, wisdom teeth, birth control, vaccinations - and that's not even counting the panel physician and visa stuff. I tried to do as much as possible the last two weeks because that was Jack's birthday wish (to schedule some of my appointments but I went all out) and well the clock is ticking on all that stuff anyway. I just want it over with while they're still covered, well, some of them - the panel physician checkup is actually ridiculously expensive but the teeth cleaning and birth control came out slightly more affordable than expected. 

Gotta go, Jack's status just switched to online. I always get so excited waiting for him in the morning (I used to sleep a lot longer than him but lately it's just been really random) and I honestly feel like a happy kitten when he finally wakes up. That's how I know he's the one. 

I hope your week went well and if not then I hope the next one gets a grip and gives you a break. Cheers

//Ally