⛤ September Q&A (Patreon)

thank you so much for posting so many questions again! I was shocked to see so much interest in various things after I posted so late in the month. I just came home from my morning walk, made an iced coffee and midnight is sitting next to me licking her little fat tum tums. before I get cleaned up for the weekend schedule, I'm gonna go through your questions and answer the things you want to know!

When’s the last time you saw the moon? last night. I can see a beautiful orange crescent rising in the east from where I live.

Do you drive a car and how was it to learn to drive? I can't drive yet. I absolutely intend to learn, but those past years it has simply been a low priority chore compared to my usual responsibilities.

I'm interested in learning how to attract positive energy and remove negative energy for myself. Where should I start? What resources do you recommend? I don't know you so I can't prescribe the best course of action for your specific needs. generally, I recommend starting with the things you're already in control of - your boundaries and your surroundings. keeping your home clean, eating foods that are good for your body, exercising regularly and disinviting the company of people who drain you or bring out the worst in you will be most of the work in removing negative energy and attracting positive energy. I can point you towards tools and resources that will help with the metaphysical aspect of keeping your energy clean, but without working on these tangible aspects at the same time, you are unlikely to see results. if you feel like removing toxic people from your life will put you at risk, you can work on the metaphysical plane first by practicing grounding meditations and carrying protective crystals. once you learn to control your own energy, you will find that other people will naturally respect your energy and respond to you differently. in the realm of the unseen, it's all about who has the most solid energetic force. to manipulate your own energy aswell as the space you dwell in, you can burn incense to drive out negative forces aswell as attract positive ones, but if the choice is between burning incense in your home and cleaning your home, go with cleaning. an easy way to change, purify or cleanse the energy in and around you is by listening to music. you can find playlists for almost any purpose on youtube, from easy listening to healing to meditation to manifestation. I find that the most effective music for manipulating energy is simply the one you vibe with the most right now. your emotions are powerful and working with them will get you further than working against them. try to be mindful of the people around you when blasting your favorite tunes. or don't if you hate your neighbors and want them to leave.

Have you been watching any new anime lately? I haven't watched anime in so long and at this point I'm scared. I hear so many people talking about how anime is not what it used to be, how certain genres have changed or are dying and I'm not entirely sure I'm ready to face the reality of new school anime haha. do you have any recommendations?

Have you considered doing any cooking ASMR? I get this suggestion a lot and I will absolutely not be doing cooking ASMR for several reasons. 1 - my kitchen is too small to set up a camera and microphone and still be able to do what I need to do in there. 2 - cooking and baking completely max out my coordination and if I had to be a set designer, director, video and audio tech at the same time I would actually have a nervous breakdown. 3 - my fridge is so loud that you wouldn't get any ASMR from anything I do if you tried.

Do you meditate with guided meditations? If so what sort of thing do you like? Do you use a shield meditation, if so is there one you would recommend? I don't generally use guided meditations as I feel the vast majority of them don't apply to my specific needs or my pace or the state of mind I'm in. there are, in fact, drawbacks to being strange and unusual! that's why I write guided meditations for people like myself who aren't helped much by the standardized meditations predominantly found out there.

What do you mean by hypersensitivity, how is it affecting you, is there anything we as a group can do to help? I don't think there's anything anyone can do to help, but I appreciate the sentiment. I will do my best to explain my experience. for as long as I can remember, I've been near cripplingly sensitive to stimuli. my nervous system is always in overdrive. on bad days, I can't get out of bed because my nerves feel so raw that the sensation of air on my skin feels like sandpaper on my body. this hypersensitivity gets worse with stress, aswell as monthly and seasonally, suggesting a hormonal component, and it gets much worse if I am even slightly sleep deprived. I am somewhat sensitive to light and prefer cloudy days and dimly lit spaces, highly sensitive to sound which causes me to rely on ear plugs most days and I absolutely must wear them when running appliances such as the hand mixer, vacuum or even dryer. loud noises feel like electric shocks going through my whole body and can render me unable to function. independence day is my personal nightmare, you see. I can get through a short session of boom boom sparkle with ear plugs and lots of booze, but if my nervous system is already overloaded, that can quickly become too much to bear. one particularly bad year, people around us were shooting fireworks for 5 straight hours and after a while every "boom" made my body jerk and I just curled up on the floor crying and in pain until at one point they finally stopped and I could pass out. I am sensitive to temperature and getting out of bed when my body is trying to down regulate for the day, i.e. going to the other room to record at night or finish up chores I didn't have time for, feels like cold shocking my body even in a temperate house. the only effective way I know to regulate my temperature is to take hot baths. over the years, any attempt to "harden" myself against stimuli has only seemed to make it worse. most days I use alcohol to numb myself and that makes existing bearable and enables me to do more than I am otherwise able, but now I have tendonitis in my elbows and putting inflammatory substances on that is not ideal. I haven't had many bad days those past few years thanks to being in a peaceful environment and for that I am thankful. but this hypersensitivity I live with does make simply living more painful for me than the average person and I hit physical limits more than I would like.

What's your favorite part of making videos? my favorite part is coming up with the ideas and writing beautiful scripts. finding the words to convey the message I want to instill in you and watching it take on form in my mind's eye is quite fulfilling. the rest of the process pales in comparison because at that point I have to actually try to live up to the work of art inside my head haha.

What is your biggest fear? Was that always your biggest fear or has it changed during the last years? right now my biggest fear is being too poor to take care of the neighborhood cats. I befriended the two cats that live in this neighborhood and now I take care of them, I feed them and I put flea medicine on them and recently tippy taps has been showing signs of arthritis so I want to start giving her a glucosamine supplement that helped ash a lot with her arthritis pain. but I have to mix it into liquid treats or a pate or something so that's a lot of extra money every month. I'd honestly rather starve than not be able to take care of them but it breaks my heart to think of having to potentially make hard decisions like that. I don't know what I'd do if one of them got sick or injured and I couldn't afford to take them to the vet. we're not exactly rich so Jack doesn't love the idea of suddenly being responsible for cats that aren't even ours. obviously I haven't had that fear prior to meeting the cats haha.

So how did you and Jack hookup? Jack found my videos through working for google in his previous job. he decided to send me a heartfelt message that stood out from all the other messages I got because it felt like he understood and related to the specific struggles I was going through at the time. and most importantly, it felt sincere. unlike most people, he didn't have ulterior motives or self-serving intentions in reaching out to me. I decided to friend him on steam, it simply felt right. we didn't get to chat much however, until one 4th of July when my girlfriend at the time canceled on me last minute, which was not unusual and our relationship was already on shaky ground because she spent more time with her weed dealers than with me. out of spite, I decided to stay home and drink and Jack happened to be available to chat. we ended up talking all night and I was surprised how easy he was to talk to. I had never experienced anything like this with another human. we kind of just never stopped chatting. soon enough, feelings developed, I had to break it off with the other girl and he decided to fly over to Germany to visit me. that took me by surprise because for years I've settled for a bitch who wouldn't give me the time of day while living on the same block and then there's this guy who will literally fly across half the globe for a chance to be with me in person. meeting in person just confirmed our mutual feeling that our souls had been married since before we met. everything feels right with him. everywhere feels like home with him. we knew from the very beginning that we wanted to be together forever. so we made it happen.

Boom! You wake up and realize that you and Jack have switched bodies. What do you do? I will get age restricted if I answer that! haha.

What kinds of witch would you say you are? like green witch, kitchen witch, crystal witch? maybe pyromancer or aeromancer? I don't like to label myself, but there are several categories where the shoe fits. I identify as eclectic and solitary. not that I'm not open to combining forces with other witches, just that I haven't found anyone I vibe with yet. labels that describe my craft include crystal witch, kitchen witch, grey witch, energy witch, hearth witch, animist witch, chaos witch, sigil witch, divination witch, practical witch. but I think eclectic is a good umbrella term for someone like myself, who does a little bit of everything.

The day you retire off the internet (which will hopefully not be any time soon), what do you want to be remembered as/for? I want to be remembered as someone who enabled many people to live better. someone who got people through hard times, delivered life changing messages and advice and simply elevated people's daily experience. a foundation of good sleep is integral to a fulfilling life, but so is authenticity, empowerment, beauty and inspiration. if I can give these things to people, my work will have been worthwhile. as a public image, I'm content just being remembered as a muse. but inside people's hearts, I want them to say "she never knew I existed, but she helped me find my path"

with that I leave you to go shower and wash my hair. I hope you have a very wonderful weekend and don't forget to set your intentions for the new moon. there will be massive potential for identity shifting and reality shifting aswell as expelling outdated beliefs and trauma so close in on what it is you want to manifest. even on cloudy days, wear your sunscreen and drink water! 🍸