What happened to September? (Patreon)

That's what I'd like to know. To be honest, I don't entirely understand why this happens but it's part of being neurodivergent, I suppose.

I don't know if executive dysfunction is the right term but it turns out that choosing suggestions by voting doesn't work for me. I really wanted it to work but, every time I tried to draw, I couldn't do it. I did try. It took me a week just to get started and then it took me another week just to design the word balloons before I even started drawing. And I knew there was no way I would be able to finish even one more maid suggestion by the end of the month.

It took me a long time to understand what was happening. It seems to be the same thing that happens when I try to do commissions. I don't know why but, if I have to draw something, if I can't choose whichever suggestion inspires me, if I can't drop any sketch that just isn't working out, I can't stand to draw. If you look back through the dates on my deviantArt gallery, you'll see a huge multi-year gap where I stopped drawing. It was because I had been trying to do commissions and it broke me.

I really am sorry that I couldn't draw any more of the maid suggestions but please understand that it wasn't for a lack of trying.

On the bright side, this disorder is also the reason I draw fetish art for my patrons instead of working a regular day job so there's that silver lining of sorts.

When I finally understood that I wouldn't be able to force myself to draw any more of the maid suggestions, I felt horrible about it. But I still wanted to draw at least one picture for you in September so I got a head-start on Halloween. I hope you enjoyed it.