CHP 35: A Stellar Rep (Patreon)

Time changes everything, animate or inanimate, sentient or base, but that's only because everything is imperfect and never at complete harmony with itself.

And since I was perfect from the moment I first drew breath, a meagre four or five years couldn't possibly change my way of thinking... or did you forget that I was an adult before I woke up as a would-be rapist waste of oxygen?

Anyway, my innate perfection is something that is reflected in my creations.

They don't erode, or make mistakes.

"Did that guy just stab someone?" I pointed at a distant alleyway, "Is this some kind of joke?"

You can NOT tell me that the first thing I saw after coming to London the second time is a shanking, it happened last time too.

"Mm... this happened last time too." Tiamat commented, looking around the dull city with curious eyes.

Yes, I brought her along.

Like I told Sakura, I've come here prepared for a war should the need arise.

My mobile space station is floating right above us, just in... well, where do you expect something called a SPACE station to be?

Well, the official designation is SIG Colossus.

SIG just means Shinji is Great, because I am.

A bit niche but hey, it's my ship, I get to name it whatever I want.

You can call it something else when you build one.

The reason it took me years was because it was a WIP for most of the time, where I'd jam in just about anything that came to mind so the construction would either get halted or restarted from the bottom up.

That's not the case anymore since it's already in space.

It's armed with mobile lasers, particle cannons, kinetic shields, worker droids, combat forces, a vehicle bay storing an awesome surprise for whoever I don't like, the works... just about anything you'd expect from a space station jammed into one.

It's powered by... you guessed it, variant Arc Reactors designed by yours truly... which shouldn't have been possible but I think we crossed that line when I made a speedster suit.

And yes, it is capable of Orbital Bombardment.

It's also capable of remotely assembling other vessels.

You wanna know how a city-sized space station filled with machines has gone unnoticed by the likes of America, Russia or China? 

Cloaking devices, duh.

Are you stupid?

Don't even get me started on the modifications I made to my own body.

Guess Tiamat and Cortana were right, I'm pretty sure I'm not going to die anytime soon.

Though... considering I've spent the last few years giving both humanity and the Earth over a hundred different reasons to want me dead... Hmm...

"What are the chances the Counter Force attacks me?" I muttered, putting a hand to my chin.

"...?"

Well, I don't think they have much to throw at me that I can't deal with.

Anyway, enough about the terribly boring semantics of the past few years, I'm in London!

The stabbing and dickhead capital of the world!

"Oi, mate, bloody watch where you're stepping, yeah?"

I smiled and turned to the NPC that somehow got offended by me just standing on a sidewalk, "Oh I'm sorry."

He was wearing the usual thick jacket and jeans with that ski mask on his face.

Fucking weirdo.

"Yeah, you don't wanna see me angry." 

"I'm sure." I nodded, catering to his fragile ego.

I don't need to do anymore damage, his deadbeat father and touchy uncle have done more than enough.

"Hmm!" Tiamat stepped between us, glaring at the victim in that cutesy way of hers, "Don't bother Shinji!"

But, the guy had the same reaction I would in this kind of situation.

I mean, come on, a hot mommy wearing a white t-shirt and jeans leans over in front of you... what are you going to think?

The rando mob never got to consider it because I slapped his ass into the wall, I'm a dick like that.

"Should've just walked away man." I shrugged and started walking, gesturing for Tiamat to follow.

I have an agenda for coming here.

That agenda just so happens to be my whims.

What are you gonna do about it?

-

The Clock Tower was... a strange experience.

Nothing's changed here except faces but that makes sense considering the fact that magi are all about their old ways and all that... It's still the same old dull corridors made of expensive looking wood and rich brats that seemed to have sticks lodged up their asses.

But... yeah, I think I know what it is.

Last time I was here, they barely stopped to consider my presence, seeing as I was barely above a cockroach in their eyes... Now though, now they seemed to be completely steering clear of me.

I looked at a brown haired girl standing near the window and she instantly lowered her gaze.

Yep, they... look like they're afraid... intimidated... insulted? I can't find the right word to describe what I'm seeing right now.

Hmm, that makes no sense.

Tilting my head, I walked over to one of the windows and stared at my reflection.

Sure, I might not be the cute shota I was a few years ago but I like to think I'm decent looking at least.

I put a hand to my chin, observing my features.

Yeah no, I don't look bad enough to warrant people literally avoiding my gaze.

My thoughts were interrupted by Tiamat putting a hand on my shoulder and smiling brightly, "Shinji is very handsome."

Dear Tiamat, thank you but your words don't mean much in this case considering you literally praise me when I murder somebody.

Anyway, it's not like I care.

I wasn't interested in making friends anyway, hmph.

Snickering to myself, I started walking down the corridor.

It didn't take long for me to come across the person I was looking for... or rather, she found me.

A blonde 'lady' with a figure you could usually only find in certain 'adult' films, with her long blonde hair done in strange drills. She wore a blue dress, a variant of the same one I saw her in the last time.

She waved her hand in a strangely excited but still elegant way.

"My, you've grown quite a bit, haven't you?"

Why do they have to talk so weird?

"You too." I narrowed my eyes at her.

"Shinji, my eyes are up here."

"I know."

"...And shameless too." She crossed her arms under chest, emphasising her 'figure' more.

Lady, if you don't want me to look, why the hell are you pushing them out even more?

"Luviagelita, how've you been?" I asked with a sigh, leaning near a window.

"Very well, thank you for asking." She answered with a pleased smile, "I haven't slacked on my training either. I believe you'll be adequately surprised should we spar again."

Sure I will.

Last time I had like one way to beat you, now I have like 20 on my person... let's not even talk about what that big fuck you gun in the space can do if fired on this country.

"I'm sure, but that's not what I'm here for."

"Ah yes, I know. The Professor is waiting for you."

I nodded my head as thanks.

"Let me accompany you there." She offered me her hand in that noble lady kind of way... only, I'm not here alone.

I gestured to the curious Tiamat with my head, "I'm... not available."

"I don't mind~." The Primordial Goddess with a warped sense of morality chirped with closed eyes.

I just shook my head, "I do."

Shinjiberg might be a dickhead but he is a loyal dickhead, I shall not be tempted by boobies.

Tiamat is... holy fuck I think she's actually glowing.

"A fine trait for any man." Luviagelita hummed.

Dear Luviagelita, don't clench your fists if you're trying to play cool at something.

I opened my mouth to answer but before I could, the door across from us opened... except the guy slammed it shut as soon as he noticed that I was standing there.

"What the fuck was that about?"

Luviagelita stared at the door for a good while before turning back to look at me like I was stupid for not knowing why OTHER people were treating me like I was a plague.

"Why are you surprised? You don't exactly have a reputation for being kind. It's only natural they fear you." She shrugged her shoulders like she didn't just explain fuck all about the situation.

Why would they be scared of me?

I'm the kindest man on this planet.

"Wh-"

"The three hundred or so magi corpses you dumped on the front gate at 2 am in the night... And the two hundred or so church executors you left in the Vatican city the next day."

Oh yeah... there was that.

"Isn't that normal for magi?"

"In what world is mass murder normal? And to make a public showing of the corpses." Luviagelita deadpanned.

"...It was about sending a message."

The message was well-received considering randos stopped popping up in my backyard after I did that.

"Why aren't you avoiding me too then?" I asked out of curiosity.

"Well... I don't find it abhorrent to neutralise would-be thieves and hacks that tried to take advantage of your age."

Dear Luviagelita, sincerely, you're fucked in the head.

But, that's cool.

I smiled politely, "Let's get to the professor."

"Of course."

-

Hope you enjoyed.

Did any of you get the chance to check out 'A Song of Grace & Fury'?