CHP 21: Psychotic Priest (What A Surprise) (Patreon)

Turns out I didn't really need much help with finding Sakura after all.

I found her sitting by the hotel's doors with her head buried in her knees, being harassed by one of the employees... or at least that's what I think it was since it was the logical conclusion to what I saw.

A guy in a valet uniform was reaching for my sister's shoulder.

So, I took the most reasonable course of action available to me.

"Special move: Magical Punch!"

I lunged at him and kicked him in the face with a nanite enhanced foot, tossing him through the air and into a trash can.

"T...That was a kick!"

I shrugged my hands, "Meh, element of surprise and all."

The man grunted before passing out, and will possibly carry the shame of being knocked out by a kid for the rest of his life, thereby becoming a more humbler person. In conclusion, even kicking him in the face was an act of utmost generosity.

But enough about that, I turned to look down at my trembling sister, "Hey, Sakura."

The purple haired loli trembled but didn't raise her head, which is something she does a lot... but I guess she gets to with how shitty her life's been so far.

Sighing, I knelt down next to her, "Do you want revenge for your sister forgetting you?"

It's reasonable and I wouldn't judge her considering the situation with Caren.

A few moments passed in silence that was only interrupted by the eventual sniffle, until she looked up at me with puffy eyes, "I don't want her... to be hurt."

I narrowed my eyes, "Who said anything about hurting?"

Dear Sakura, you suck at understanding people.

But since I'm such a good brother, I'll explain.

"Listen to me carefully." I put a hand to my chin, showing a sweet smile, "First, we spread rumours about her giving the teachers special favours for her good grades, then when she learns about them and confronts someone for it with how she is, the rumours get solidified because she would have ignored them if they were just lies."

I slowly nodded, closing my eyes, "Then, we'll use my nanites to remotely disrupt her magecraft in class so that she loses the one thing she's got going for her publicly. This ends up with her being ostracized and when she's at her lowest, and she will be with how approval hungry she is, we appear as her friends."

Sakura stopped sniffling so I think that's good, I can't confirm because my eyes are still closed.

"Then, when we're really close, she just 'happens to see us one day' laughing about how she was easy with the people that ostracised her and her heart shatters... She'll sink into the depths of despair and question her life."

I let out a satisfied hum.

I think I've outdone myself here.

Hm, to think I've even held myself back from truly going after her because she's a kid.

Let's see how Sakura's taking it.

Dear sister, why do you look terrified?

She even backed up against the wall... looking absolutely horrified.

Huh... and I made sure to keep it PG cause Rin's a kid... What's her problem?

"I-I forgive her!" She squeaked out, waving her hands in my face like I was the one in the wrong, "You do-don't have to do anything! D-Don't hurt her, please."

I backed away with confused eyes, "If that's good with you, then... Sure, I guess?"

Sakura put a hand over her chest and let out a relieved sigh, "C-Can we go home, please?"

I nodded and stood up, holding a hand out for her.

With meeting Rin and blowing up the Sealing Designation vault, my business in England is officially finished and I have no real reason to stay here anymore. Rin'll be returning to Fuyuki soon enough so Sakura and her can further their relationship whenever that happens.

I kind of wanted to check out the Rail Zeppelin while I was here and see if these so-called Mystic Eyes had anything I could use but, I'm not really pressed for time anymore and can come back later when I have more to do.

...I have something to build back in Fuyuki and that takes more precedence right now.

"Let's go find the others and we can head out."

I pulled Sakura to her feet and tapped the phone in my pocket, "Cortana, get us a flight back."

The AI was absurdly smart with how it didn't say a single word the whole time we were in the Clock Tower, there was definitely a bounded field or something in there that would give away her existence to who knows who.

"Of course. Shall I prepare the lab for assembly, father?"

I like how she calls Shirou's little storehouse 'lab'... but wait, I guess it's not really that small anymore. As always, I am a master of multi-tasking and delegation.

I threw a few ragtag worker droids together by tearing apart the system I used to design my nanites and the nanites themselves before I left.

...Cortana can control them remotely.

I guess that's why she's been oddly silent and not hating on everything humans do like usual.

"Sure. We're building a world breaking weapon next?"

"Shall I enter a new project?"

I smiled, "Oh yeah, call it... Project Warframe."

Iron Man suits are overrated, I'm gonna build me some Warframes... EHEM Gaus- EHEM.

Let's see what this world's got to throw at me after that.

-

Well... this was unexpected.

I traced the cut on my cheek with my thumb as it sealed itself up, staring at the silver haired priest smiling at me through closed eyes from a few metres away, "Mind telling me what this is for? I didn't think the Church was stupid enough to spill blood in London of all places."

I'd been leading Sakura through the city, looking around at the different sights when we passed a strangely empty street... Now that I see him, I guess that odd feeling I've been getting as soon as I stepped in this place was a Bounded Field.

"Oh? I thought you'd be screaming with how you lost lambs are when caught off-guard." The priest smiled kindly, opening his eyes to reveal clear blue pupils, "But I suppose you didn't get where you are by being weak."

The fucker was thin, absurdly thin and... tall? Wearing the same clothes all these schmucks usually are.

"Are you crazy? This is London, you know?"

"No..." He put a hand over his chest, fixing his collar with the other one, "I'm not acting in the capacity of an Executor of the Holy Church. This is a bit of playtime, if you would... I was too moved by the suffering of my brother in Christ to let the matter go."

So that other fucker squeaked.

He was French so I guess I should've expected it.

"He was happy to tell me the source of injuries with a bit of motivation before I sent him on his way to our Father in Heaven." He continued yapping, "It pained my heart to see him in pain… So I kindly put him out of his misery!"

So that guy didn't squeak, this fucker's just psychotic... I'm so lucky.

I didn't comment on him, instead I glanced at the shocked Sakura standing by my side.

"N-Nii-sama, are you a-alright?" She stammered, staring at my hand.

Oh right, there's a sword jammed in it.

The 'priest' didn't just attack me, he threw a blade at her too... one I stopped by putting my arm in the way. It wasn't really as dangerous or stupid as you might think, considering there's nanites in my body... I was just caught off-guard.

"But it frustrated me to no end..." His eyes opened wider as his pupils moved erratically, "To know that my brother was stupid enough to be hurt by half-bred subhuman Asian trash! H-How dare you?!"

...Woah, I thought these guys weren't around anymore.

"But it's fine." He calmed down again, "I didn't expect to enjoy myself on my vacation."

He put a hand over the rosemary around his neck, "Sancraid Phahn... I will cull your worthless existences in the name of my Lord... and the stain on our reputation along with it."

Hmmm...

"Cortana, put this guy down as one of the top ten unluckiest chucklefucks in existence." I pulled his sword out of my hand and tossed it aside, clenching and unclenching the 'injured' hand to see how good nanite healing was.

It's not healing per se... They're just replicating what was there already artificially.

Still... this guy is seriously screwed... He could've attacked me for higher purpose, or reveal a scheme or something but no... He's stupid enough to risk a diplomatic incident just cause he wanted some fun and murdered one of his own people for shits and giggles.

"Should I notify the authorities, father?"

"Nah."

I smiled and cracked my shoulder.

"That's a lot of talk for a guy that just chipped me."

His mouth opened and his tongue rolled out as he grinned, "I'll enjoy myself more than I thought... First I'll make you watch as I tear that little one beside you apart."

This dude has no idea this city is gonna disappear off the face of the planet if a certain somebody found out I was hurt.

He drew two more of those key-like swords and grinned wider, tongue still hanging out.

...Why's he so confident if swords are all he's got going?

"I am... sorry." He looked at me sadly, "That you were born subhuman."

What the fuck is wrong with this guy?

-

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Sancraid Phahn is an excommunicated priest from Fate/Prototype that was punished with execution for the sheer number of people he killed out of racist hate and his own psychotic pleasure but faked his death and escaped. He's here because characters do exist across parallel worlds but in different capacities to the original and something like this is completely in tune with his nature.

P.S: He's WAY WAY WAY stronger than Shinji at the moment.