CHP 89: True Pirates (Patreon)

"Loli? I like this word! Lolis are the superior representation of beauty, damn you!"

"Hold up there now, R.Kelly. Clearly, big onee-san types and goth baddies is where it's at."

"So not only do you wish to take my crown, you also wish to decry my ideals! Curse you!"

"Calm down, Drake. They're kids!"

Sitting on a barrel of rum with her hands wrapped around her knees, Mash felt herself losing a bit of the inane respect she had for Nicholas.

By some leap of logic none of them were really able to make sense of (Chaldeans and the supposed Pirate King's crew both), the Chaldean Master and Blackbeard had gone from trying to rip each other's heads off to butting heads over the type of women they preferred... literally.

It was weirder still that each time they 'butt' heads, sparks would fly out from the collision and the legendary pirate ship Queen Anne's Revenge would shake and croak under the force.

On that note, it turned out that Blackbeard had gathered a two of the pirates summoned as servants as part of his crew... along with a spear wielding one none of them could recognise currently busy sharing a drink with Cu Chulainn... maybe Doctor Romani could identify the latter but he was unavailable at the moment.

"...Perverts." Mary Read commented, holding down the part of her black cloak that was covering her mouth and some of her short white hair as she stared at the two through disgusted blue eyes, "Maybe we should just throw them overboard..."

Her partner, and the other servant onboard, giggled at the comment, putting her much larger hand on Mary's head, "That's how men are, Mary~! Let them tire each other out. Our Captain may have found an interesting buddy."

Mash stared at the taller blonde woman, "I'm grateful for your understanding, Miss Anne."

In contrast to her partner Mary, Anne was much taller and 'buxom' in stature compared to the childlike Mary. Her long fluffy hair fell below her hips while Mary's was short enough she could easily pass off as a young boy.

"Don't mind it." Anne Bonny dismissed her with a wave of her hand, smiling as she observed the exchange between two 'captains'.

Hm, it'd be pretty hard to believe that mere moments ago, they'd been shooting and hitting each other with how casually they were talking.

"You're not holding any grudges?" Mash prodded curiously, people usually disliked being hurt, right?

Both pirates turned to her with estranged gazes but Anne spoke out first, "No? I thought you guys were pirates? Life's too short to be holding grudges, Mash... especially ours. The only thing we could hate would be sticklers for rules like the Crown."

Mary nodded stoically, showing her approval for the statement as Anne laughed again.

Involuntarily, Mash's gaze wandered to the taller woman's heaving chest before she looked down at her own..., "Why does that feel depressing?"

Unfortunately, her question would probably never be answered as the two arguing men turned towards them.

"Cows sag with age, what's so good about big lumps of fat?!" Blackbeard smashed his claw down on Nicholas's head, cracking the metal blade, "Besides, they're always past their expiration date and complain too much..."

Nicholas whipped up and actually broke his legendary stick on the pirate's head, "You're telling me you'd prefer this?"

He pointed at Marie, "Grrr..."

"To that?"

He pointed at Anne, "Oh my."

"Damn right I would!" Blackbeard held up a clenched up fist, eyes shining with profound wisdom, "It's untouched innocence and purity, soft skin and naivete. Way better than used goods... though that one's a pretty bad example."

"Oi." Mary was not amused with the way she was catching strays for no reason at all.

Hell, even Nicholas backed away with a shiver at the man's explanation, "This...This man needs to be in asylu-..." He stopped himself, coughing slightly before continuing, "He needs to be put down for the greater good."

"Wait, hold up, Captain." The unnamed Lancer held up a hand, ruffling his dark hair, "How about showing him the 'light' with that one you've been trying to track down?"

"Ooh? Good idea!" Blackbeard perked up with a silly grin, putting a hand to his jaw before nodding and pointing at Nicholas, "It's decided, come with me! I'll show you why you're wrong."

Nicholas didn't answer him, instead turning to Mash, "We got any way of tracking down the others? I reckon I can make this shithead eat his words with Jalter or Martha."

Nodding hesitantly, Mash racked her brain for answers, "Umm... Miss Da Vinci said she'd have something prepared for the next one. But I'm sorry, it's up to chance this time. All we know is they shouldn't be that far away."

"I guess that's cool." Nicholas considered her words in silence before nodding at Blackbeard, "Fine then, but if you lose, I'm taking the ship."

"If I lose, you can take my title for all I care." Blackbeard was much better at showing how impassioned he was, nodding with a massive grin, "If you lose, you're going to eat shit."

"Done." 

He had not one but two cards.

There was no way in hell he was going to lose.

Blackbeard drew his cutlass and pointed at a random direction, letting out a loud laugh, "Set sail, mateys! We're nabbing ourselves a Goddess and a Grail!"

Husks and shadowy figures materialised on the ship, manning the vessel without a single word.

Even an idiot could figure out that this was probably part of the noble phantasm of the most famous pirate ever to sail.

-

Onboard the large ship cut through the sea at unnatural speeds, Mash leaned on to the railings and watched the sunset with an awestruck expression, "The pictures... didn't do it justice."

She'd never seen something like this before.

Watching the sunset on an actual sea hadn't even been a distant dream for her up till now... but, she felt a bit guilty being happy about it.

The only reason they were here was to save humanity.

Right?

Pursing her lips, Mash looked back at her companions, both old and new, sitting around a fire, talking and laughing... nevermind the fact that they'd set up a campfire on the deck of a wooden ship, on an ocean with no land in sight for miles around.

"You should enjoy yourself too."

"Huh?"

Mash let out a sigh when she realised when it was just Cu Chulainn walking up to her with a small smile, "The lad can't enjoy himself cause he keeps lookin' over thinkin' you're considering suicide or something... He's weird about things."

"What?" The demiservant looked around to see Nicholas being smothered by a possibly drunk Anne who was waving around a flagon of rum, "He hasn't drunk yet?"

Mash didn't get why the pirates seemed to like him so much.

"Gods no, we tried hard as hell but the brat's as stubborn as he is special." Cu sighed in defeat, taking a swig of his own drink, "But I'm guessin' that's for the best."

Mash nodded with a small smile, "He's banned from two continents and 13 countries."

"The fuck did he even do?"

"Well... they seem to think he's an anarchist? And none of them want to take the chance of having him cause more riots?"

"...More riots?"

Mash nodded, "More riots."

Mash held up a finger, pointing at Nicholas who was trying to throw Blackbeard into the fire, spurred on by Mary Read.

-

Hope you enjoyed the chapter.