Stepfordized, Part 3 (Patreon)

With the beginning of the semester right around the corner and extracurricular club activities and team tryouts at DGWA starting up, Kelsey made herself presentable and made her way down to the college. She wandered down the street, periodically flipping through the school class guide looking for clubs she could join but only found actual classes. Funnily enough, there were more electives than actual core courses available. While Home Ec., Cooking, and Cosmetology courses were present in abundance there were very few English courses available and only two Science and Math classes and all of them started at 5:30 in the morning and ended at 6:15 AM. Kelsey sighed deeply at the schedule booklet and rolled her eyes. “That’s what you get for putting men in charge of a women’s college.” She grumbled.

“Oh well. A degree’s a degree.”

Upon making her way onto the campus, Kelsey saw that many of the sports teams were already holding tryouts in various parts of the field. She’d wanted to try and pick up some kind of physical activity even before coming to Ansley Park and seeing the state of it’s local residents, but after some time in town she figured a regimented way to work off excess calories and stay fit would be especially good for her. It wasn’t that she hated fat people or looked down on motherhood or anything like that. She had simply decided long ago that kids weren’t really a priority and that she didn’t want to end up like her mom: glued to the couch in a trailer park with a saggy belly pinning her in place.

(1)

She reminisced about her days learning to skate and had originally looked for such a thing in the class schedule, but with very little hope that anyone with teaching credentials at a posh women’s academy would even own a skateboard. It’d beaten her up a bit and she’d even broken her leg Sophomore year, but Kelsey wouldn’t have traded the fun she had or the friends she’d made doing it for anything. Plus, she could always tell when it was going to rain.

The sound of a shrill whistle blew and the grungy punk’s attention was drawn directly to a plastic looking Barbie doll of a woman in a tiny skirt that was so small it rode up her thighs nearly very time she lifted her leg. She was a stunning platinum blonde though Kelsey was certain that that was far from natural, and on her chest were the largest, firmest, roundest, and biggest fake, plastic titties she’d ever seen in her life. The woman was shouting orders and encouragement with an incredibly smoky, breathy voice that was so soft that it was almost hard to hear even with her shouting. As she turned, Kelsey could see the sports whistle gleaming on a necklace resting just above her enormous valley of bolt-on cleavage, indicating that she was indeed the coach. Even so, Kelsey had no idea how such a woman could possibly play any of the sports that she was trying to facilitate given how disproportionately large her ass was. Even if her boobs never bounced, this woman’s bouncing buttcheeks could be seen rippling through her shorts.

(2)

In reality, Kelsey didn’t know whether to be more amazed at her crazy bimbo augmentations or the fact that she was neither fat nor pregnant. It was during her passive deliberations on whether or not those ideas were even different things that a soccer ball went flying right in front of her face catching only her class catalogue and bit of her hair as it whizzed by. She froze in place, her bright eyes wide with surprised panic.

/TWEEEEEEEET!!!!!!

The plastic bimbo blew her whistle loudly and waved her arms around to signal a stop. She pointed over to a slim, Spanish looking girl in a brown ponytail and began yelling.

“ISABELLA! WATCH WHERE YOU’RE SHOOTING THOSE GOALS, BABE! YOU ALMOST KILLED A HOTTIE OVER HERE AND YOU DON’T WANT THAT ON YOUR RECORD!!” The woman called out.

Isabella apologized briefly with a slight wave, but did take a moment to look Kelsey up and down before smiling broadly with a hand on her hip, then returning to practice.

(3)

“Wow. She didn’t really take too long to start checking the girls out, now did she?” The coach asked with a slightly cocky grin on her face. “Hey there. I’m Coach Hayley Campbell and I’m the soccer coach here at the college. I just so happen to be running tryouts today, but you’re actually a little late for that…But if you like…have any questions I would be SO happy to help you out.”

“Oh. Um. Damn. Or dang. Well, uhh…I actually was hoping to try out for like a gymnastics team or…like maybe even track or soccer, but…I guess I am…Too late for that.” Kelsey huffed slowly, cursing herself for dragging her feet.

“Oh don’t feel bad, cutie, our sports teams are a highly sought after program so we do a lot of our recruiting during our summer sessions. Buuuuut…There are other groups doing their recruitment and tryouts and stuff today and our positions tend to open up later on as the year progresses so if you’re still like ready and able and stuff you should totally check us out!” Coach Campbell said, smiling at her with an infectious but highly suspect expression.

With a wry, awkward smile, Kelsey tucked her hands I to her pockets and headed towards the art quad where it looked like a sort of yoga class was going on. She really had been hoping to get into something that was going to keep her active, but even if she couldn’t get onto a team that would keep her mobile, she figured that yoga would be better than nothing.

When she had arrived, everyone had gotten off the ground and were packing up yoga mats as they left. Only a skinny Asian girl was still stretching by the wall of the quad all by her lonesome. Fit was a better descriptor than skinny it turned out, as Kelsey could see the muscles in her toned arms shift and flex as she stretched with a serene look on her face. Her long black hair was wound into a tight bun and held in place with a comb and her abs tensed and relaxed beneath her visible ribs with every movement. Kelsey thought of approaching her and trying to ask what she was there for, but it just felt like she would be intruding. Only after she had begun walking away did she hear grunts and slight, sharp vocalizations that made her turn back around to see that same girl throwing powerful kicks with a precision that looked like a clockwork doll, then flowing into an almost dancelike series of blocks, deflections, and strikes. Or at least that’s what it looked like to the impressed white girl. She’d never taken a martial art before, but she couldn’t deny that the desire to try it eventually.

(4)

The girl was a whirlwind of athleticism and a sort of gentle power, with exactly the kind of strong-but-petite physique that Kelsey always wished she had. After a few flurries, the girl would stop, take a deep breath, and start again. After several iterations of this, she turned to look at Kelsey who’d spent a much longer time watching than she’d expected. The skinny skater panicked immediately at being caught and rushed immediately into the first open building she’d seen to escape the embarrassment of being approached. She marched rapidly down the plain gray hall, still not taking her hands out of her pockets. When she rounded the corner, the room went dark.

Kelsey heard a woman talking in the distance but was unsure of what exactly was going on where she was headed. Eventually she found herself on a wood floor in a dark room. Full of thick, dark curtains with the voice she’d heard before giving a passionate, if not overplayed rendition of Hamlet. In her attempt to get away from the girl she was creeping on, she’d managed to find her way into the theatre. She pulled out her phone and began looking for the way out from the maze of tools and set pieces with the flashlight setting. Even then, she felt her jacket catch on something sticking out from the side of a narrow path. The object pulled and fell to the ground, clattering hammers and screwdrivers loudly onto the floor. Again, Kelsey froze.

“Hello?” A voice called out from the other side of the curtain. “Is someone back there? Can you come out please?”

Kelsey stood still for a moment before sheepishly pushing through the heavy curtain and into a room full of young women. One of them was already on stage and looking at her expectantly with big, doe-eyes that reminded her vaguely of the doge dog….Just with less cute and more judgement.

(5)

“Hey there, can I help you?” A sweet woman in a black dress asked, standing up to reveal a round baby bump beneath her dress. “Are you here to audition for the Drama club?”

(6)

Kelsey wasn’t entirely sure what to do. She wasn’t *not* looking for the Drama club, and had been in a couple plays in high school. Even worse, all the sports teams were full up and she’d arrived too late for the yoga thing. “Fuck it.” She thought to herself, shrugging her shoulders with a smile.

“Yeah, I think I’d like to audition.”