Yes Chelsea, Part 10 (Patreon)

*Olivia Richter, age 34

“Not bad, eh?”

I have been working really hard on myself lately. You don’t realize when things change for you as they’re happening. One day you’re jamming out to AFI in your girlfriend’s parents’ house, promising each other a world of adventure and witchy badassery, and the next you’re alone in the kitchen with your 7 year old, more excited to decorate her birthday cake than she is to actually eat it.

One minute you’re at rallies and concerts every week, watching as all the boys break their necks trying to get a look at you, the next you’re 220 pounds and sighing into the mirror while your lingerie model daughter starts making out with her boyfriend on the couch every time she thinks you’re not looking. As far as I know, they haven't done anything actually sexual yet and we watch them like hawks to make sure that they don't, but it's still a poignant reminder of the kind of passion and excitement I miss.

It's a little disheartening to feel like I became the fat older woman so early. I’m not old. I’m not injured or anything. I just had to put my own wants and needs aside for so long that I just sort of forgot myself until Greg showed up and helped remind me that I am more than just a conduit for my daughter’s happiness. I fought pretty hard against it for a minute, but eventually he convinced me that even though Chelsea still lives with us, she is an adult with a job, a boyfriend, and is more than capable of living her own life, freeing me up to live my own.

I’ve been going to the gym for several months now and I am really starting to see results. Even more than that, I have a mini elliptical at home that I use to burn calories even when I’m just watching tv or playing video games with Greg. I’ve already lost 45 pounds over the last 7 months and it’s really starting to show. I feel hot again. I feel my energy returning to me and I feel like I look younger than I have in years. I have gotten back into painting and even got to go to a few concerts with Greg who insisted we go do the things we never got to do together as teens.

All of this has made me aware of just how insecure I’ve become about being seen with my daughter. While it makes me happy to see my baby girl all grown up and happy, it’s still hard to be a fat woman in her 30’s next to a 19 year old with a body like an instagram model, even if her boyfriend is feeding her a bit much. Chelsea is smoking hot and she knows it, which wouldn’t be so bad if it didn’t make me feel like an old bag lady whenever I find myself ogling the same boys my curvy, sexy, teenage daughter does. We both have boyfriends, but we agree that it’s never bad to have some fun looking which is fun…..But I am pretty sure that her tight curves, perky DDs and youthful face are thousand times more appealing than a double chinned mom’s marshmallow belly propping up a pair of drooping H cups.

But with the support of my family, I feel the weight coming off, and with it, my youth and energy returning to me.

….Fuck yeah.

*Chelsea Richter, age 19

“Yeah, no. I need this in my life like RIGHT NOW.”

I was recently approached by a modeling company after my recent workout videos went up on Tiktok. I did a few fitness transformation before and afters, and then posted some thotty dance videos just for funsies. What surprised me was how quick my page blew up, and in only like 6 months I had 20,000 followers. Eventually, some brands started reaching out to me about promoting their products, so now a big part of my income is just wearing the clothes they send me and doing clothing hauls and reviews and stuff. I’m literally getting paid to be hot.

I still have to work and stuff, don’t get me wrong, but it never hurts to get paid to wear the clothes you would have spent all your extra money on. My mom was the one who got me hooked on shopping and doing photoshoots. When I was like 16 she was trying to rekindle our relationship with retail therapy and girl’s nights out, and I think it worked better than either of us imagined it would. It turns out that she and I get along super, super great when we communicate properly and frankly the shopping has brought out both of our boujie sides.

It's funny because when I was in high school I was super anti-femininity and wouldn’t touch anything that wasn’t black, ESPECIALLY if it was pink. Now I end up pairing both of those colors like all the time to the point where it’s almost like my default color scheme. I need to vary it up for my shoots to be honest, but I can’t help it if I just happen to find something that I think will go good with a cute skirt. I still dye my hair black out of habit and a sort of loyalty to the look, but high school me would be freaking out if she saw how girly I turned out to be, lol.

Modeling introduced me to my boyfriend Phoenix, and we’ve been dating publicly for a bit. We just had our 4 month anniversary and he took me to like the nicest fucking restaurant ever and gave me a poem he wrote about how much he loves me and I almost ugly cried right there. It was actually funny because the manager came over and congratulated me because he thought Phoenix was proposing….So we ran with it and got a 20% discount on our meal and the management took a picture for their facebook page, which helped boost my popularity even more.

All in all, things are going really well. Great job, great boyfriend, great family. I get paid to be sexy, which is even better because I’m a pretty horny girl and my man likes when I tease him with my outfits. Unfortunately, having sex is kinda hard what with my parents always around and I’m getting tired of having to wait until I can hear Greg pounding my mom into the mattress to get laid myself.

They're not like...invasive or whatever. It's just that they're always around and my mom is constantly trying to help me with my makeup or trying to share fashion tips. She's become more confident since losing weight, which is good.....but it's also manifested into telling me what to do again, just this time under the guise of "expert advice." And while I understand that she's just trying to help, no girl wants to have her mom telling her that she looks like she's "filled out a little" or is "gaining a little relationship weight" no matter how much I tell her that I'm still exercising and haven't even been able to eat much lately.

*Sigh*.....It might be time to move out.