Just Peachy (Patreon exclusive) (Patreon)

For the latest video game launch, fans were being given to step inside the world of Super Mario. People were lining up for miles to enter the green pipe that had been set up, where you entered in one side and came out the other transformed into a character from the franchise.

Ethan had been waiting in line for days, camping out and peeing in a bottle, just so he could be first when it opened. He was sure this would be guarantee he’d be transformed into his favorite character, Mario! He was looking forward to jumping high, shooting fire from his hands, and squashing mushrooms beneath his feet.

When the event finally opened, he was eager to step inside. The pipe made the distinctive sound effect as he stepped through, and the transformation began. It was dark inside. He couldn’t see a thing, but he could feel the tech morphing his body over the course of ten minutes until he finally saw a light that he began to move toward.

As he stepped out, his transformation was complete. He couldn’t have been more disappointed. Instead of being Mario, the pipe had turned him Princess Peach! Not only was he going to be stuck as a woman for a while, Peach didn’t even get to do anything in most games! She was just stuck in the castle the entire time! This was confirmed as the next person in line soon exited the pipe, transformed into a real life Bowser! Within moments, Ethan was picked up and captured. And then he just had to sit there and wait for a Mario to emerge from the pipe to come and rescue him.