Millions (Patreon exclusive) (Patreon)

“What the hell sort of body is this?” Clive asked in anger, “I paid thirty million dollars to have my brain transplanted into a young body, and I get...this!? She looks like some cheap whore!”

“That’s because she is,” Dr. Foster explained, “As you might imagine, there are many people willing to switch bodies with a 70 year old man with terminal cancer, even when you offer them millions of dollars. We also had to ensure compatibility, so the body wouldn’t reject the brain.”

“And this was the only fucking option? I feel like this body is so full of STDs that I’ll be dead from venereal disease in this body before my old one dies of cancer. Can you switch me back until you find a better body?”

“We did extensive tests, and she is, quite surprisingly, perfectly healthy except for a minor yeast infection that you can easily treat. As for your old body, it is already dead. Even if it wasn’t, your brain is in no state for another transfer just yet. Be glad you are in any body at all and not sitting in a jar in my lab.”