Weirder (Patreon exclusive) (Patreon)

“Wake up, Sweetie! Wake up!” My girlfriend said quietly as she returned to the bed from the bathroom.

“Ugh, it’s late,” I groaned, “Just come back to bed.”

“No, you need to go put in a tampon...like now.”

“What? What are you saying? That doesn’t even make any sense,” I turned over and pulled the covers over my head.

“No, you don’t understand. I just went to the bathroom to replace mine. But instead...I have grown a d*ck. And not just any d*ck, your d*ck!”

“How do you know it’s mine?”

“I know what your d*ck looks like.”

“Fair enough. How do you know I have your v*gina though?”

“Just check, please!”

And so I groggily looked down, and there it was. I had my own girlfriend’s v*gina. And it was bleeding. It seemed like a heavy flow, and I was making an absolute mess of the bed. Waking up with a v*gina was a shock to the system, but waking up with one in the middle of a period? That’s even worse, especially at what seemed like the absolute peak of it all. I let out a scream.

“You need to go to the bathroom” My girlfriend pleaded.

“No, you need to help me! I have no idea what the f*ck I am doing here.”

And so things got even weirder when my girlfriend stuck a tampon up my v*gina...