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Anonymous

Poor Anya, xander is totally in the wrong.. yeah I understand that he was afraid of becoming like his father but it was such a cowardly move to leave her at the alter with a half assed excuse.

Anonymous

Dammit Xander! True love conquers all.

Anonymous

D'Hoffryn is a great reminder that the demons aren't just fun anti-heroes. They are evil. He didn't need a vengeance demon who just wanted a fresh immortality necklace. He needed a broken vessel. His demons are required to do terrible things, and their hearts must be all-in.

Anonymous

The writing on this show is frustratingly awesome. Xander has been headed towards a moment like this for well over a year now but his story line is so subtly woven into the background that it can be very hard to see. I love seeing Buffy more-or-less happy and having a little fun, and the cliffhanger for Anya too. Will one bad day cause her to choose to become a demon again? Admittedly, her wedding day was a bad day to have such a bad day. Back in OMWF both Xander and Anya sang that there was one thing that they would never tell. And they didn't.

Anonymous

Classic Joss Whedon: we can never have nice things, at least not for long...

Anonymous

Oh Xander that was very stupid, really the problem started when he proposed, for sure with the best intentions but not understanding what was he getting into. I understand Xander fears, but dude TIMING, is so sad seeing Anya so broke and she was so beautiful in this episode :(

Ryan

And now you see why Xander Harris is a garbage person

UTU49

No one can imagine how painful Buffy and Angel are unless they watch them.

Anonymous

Hate this episode, the writing seemed so forced like they tried so hard to ruin the wedding with a stupid plot.

UTU49

So I finished watching. I don't think I want to watch this episode again. It hurts too much. Fortunately, none of the other reactors will get here for a while.

Anonymous

I agree, it does feel forced

Jason Veevaert

Xander you dick! I mean I get what you were going through. Though there were much better ways of dealing with this like maybe talking to your fiance a bit more about that!

Bisibia

There were clues leading up to this all season... the wedding never had a chance.

FernWithy

Since no one else picked it up, Episcopalian is the U.S. branch of Anglican. (Obviously, we ditched the church of England as a concept with the whole revolution, but the same parishioners continued with the same practices.)

Anonymous

I must say I looove the Spuffy scene in the hall, one of my favourites Spuffy moments, I Think Joss Whedon write this scene, you can tell, is very simple but so heartfelt and the actors as always nail it. Is beautiful that both Buffy and Spike use the word "Glowing" as beauty and happiness. Glowing or as William would say "Effulgent".

cil

This episode is heartbreaking but it's totally in line with Xander's character. Throughout the series Xander has complained about his dysfunctional family and joked about his fear of commitment. You could even see at the start of this season that he had reservations about his engagement to Anya (look how long he wanted to wait until he told their friends about it). Xander is the 'heart' of the group but he's also the coward of the group too. One of his worst traits is his need to be the nice guy instead of the honest one. He proposed to Anya because it seemed like the right thing to do even though it's never what he truly wanted.

David Caine

All I want to say is that Anya is my favorite character on the Buffy side of the Buffyverse.

Rachel Espiritu

Anya: "Okay, for the last time. I, Anya..." And she says her vows for the last time.

Alexis Cardarella

I have many problems with the episode: minor and major things. I’m glad you caught the accent thing. The “future Xander” not only looked nothing like him, but had an east coast accent.. That really annoyed me. And yeah, the whole future telling that demon did to fool Xander.. It was out of his character to walk out before his wedding as opposed to talking to Anya.. And then I can’t believe Xander still considered it a plausible future after finding out it was false.. Like.. Xander and Anya aren’t the kind of people to stay in an unhappy relationship for months let alone decades. To built up up so much resentment and live in misery.. It’s not in their character.. I get the fear, I get the reluctance of realizing you may be rushing into marriage.... but lord. A very frustrating plot for me..

Anonymous

The future that Xander saw may be false, but it didn't come out of nowhere. Those visions were “his nightmare vision of [their] future.” Xander really believed he was going to be just like his father, a bitter man with a cheating wife and kids who hated him as much as he hated his father. And as violent as his parents were, they were just two 'normal' people. How bad might it get between a demon hunter and an ex-demon? In Xander's mind, it got very bad. I like to think Xander would have gone ahead with the wedding if it just meant 30-plus years of misery. That's what marriage is like, right? But if there's ANY chance of that last vision coming true, where he is the one using the skillet-up-side-the-head argument, then nope. Better Anya should just hate him forever than risk being the one that hurts her like that. There has been a series of 'Old Home Week' type plots lately. Season Six started with the return of Buffy herself. Followed by Jonathon and Warren (and the other one). Then came Amy and Halfrek and Riley. Now it's D'Hoffryn along with Tony and Jessica Harris. Tony had a cameo in “Restless” but they've both been present offstage on several occasions. Then there's ol' Stewart Burns, Philanderer. He's new to us but Anya didn't dispute that he was who he said he was. It's almost as if everyone's pasts are catching up with them.

Shashank

I commented back at Into the Woods that Xander’s speech to Buffy about Riley was more to himself about Anya. I think he talked himself into expressing much stronger feelings for Anya then he had felt or expressed up to that point. Xander is so afraid of doubt, especially self-doubt, that he often makes leaps, forwards and backwards, when he finds himself directly confronting doubt. In Into the woods he leapt forward into his “love” for Anya, then when the world was ending he leapt forward again into an engagement, but neither leap solved his doubt, they just postpone his confrontation with it. I think in relation to Anya, Xander does look down on her a bit, while with Buffy he idealizes her, both of which make it difficult for him to see either clearly. His condescending anger comes out to Buffy anytime she doesn’t live up to his idealized views for her, while his anger toward Anya leaks out at low levels with him always correcting her, talking down to her. I don’t believe he would ever be violent toward her, but the fact that he believes it even for a moment shows he’s aware of the low level anger/resentment. Resentment because she’s not Buffy [aka some idealized idea of a women he holds] and anger at himself for not being able to love Anya fully as she is without huge doubts/insecurities. No one’s really mentioned it yet that I saw, but his relationship with Buffy is causing him problems [mostly his own fault]. In season 4 he was insecure about his self-worth, the three things that really helped him where his sense of being part of the gang that helps Buffy save the world, his growing relationship to Anya, and his stable job. It’s interesting that in the vision, it’s the loss of Buffy and his role in her life’s mission that has left him useless for both his Job and messed up [at least in part] his relationship with Anya. I think it shows how he still gets most of his self-worth from being that helper in Buffy’s life, without that the other two sources of self-worth fall apart. His self-worth relying on Buffy is also deeply connected to his idealization of her which will come up big time in Entropy. Also, Xander as the metaphor for Buffy’s heart fits well here: it’s not surprising this season that Buffy’s heart is full of self-doubt, self-loathing, uncertainty and an inability to fully commit…..just saying Anya on her own is also interesting here. Anya has some parallel to Angel: both horrific demons who lost their demonic nature by no intention of their own, and now trying to live human lives. There is also a big difference, Angel is racked by remorse and seeks amends, while Anya’s journey seems barely to have started: to the extent it has it has been toward becoming a regular human which her relationship with Xander was vital too, it was almost her initiation into human caring. Without it her commitment to being human and caring for humans is tested by D'Hoffryn’s proposal and her turn back to vengeance in Entropy makes sense even as it is tragic. Also this is only the second time she’s come up against the result of her past vengeful acts: troll and this guy.... Finally where the hell is Giles, he would surely come for the wedding!!!

Anonymous

Fantastically insightful comments...but no-one tackles the dress.

Anonymous

He really is. Back when he cheated on Cordy with Willow he made jokes about it to the Scoobies and Buffy replied saying "You're logic doesn't resemble our earth logic." but when he leaves Anya he's quick to attack her after he's the one who discarded her like trash knowing how she was planning and thinking about the wedding all season.

Brandon Wiesner

Xander was such a dolt. This isn't a spoiler, because the 2 eps after this have been watched but he actually wanted to get back with her. So why then didn't he go through with it? It didn't make sense, being that he knew the visions were fake. He was afraid that he might end up being that person he saw? He should know the kind of man he is and as Shan said, he would never be abusive like that (well the character wouldn't anyway). I mean, he's the one that proposed. Yeah, I know it's usually the guy that does it but they never had any talk before then about getting married. She didn't pressure him into doing it. Then there was the whole thing where he didn't want to tell anyone for awhile. He may be brave in fighting alongside Buffy but when it comes to relationships, he's a coward.

Anonymous

Well with this episode is settled one of the themes of season six, everybody is acting stupid (the main cast anyway). Is like without Giles or Joyce, the two full adults and parenting forces of the show, they take the freedom and responsibility of adults and suck at it. Is also very marked that you don´t need to be a demon to act villany or a human to be wronged, like in the wedding party when the problem are the humans with lack of self-restrain. .

Melazond

ugh another plot where someone doesn't tell other people an old man came back in time and showed him his orb! I mean... another plot where MAJOR EVENTS aren't being told. And the whole marriage that doesn't end up happening is such a boring trope too. Like you said, they can just get divorced! JEEEZ

Melazond

This is what I'm saying.Right there, when they kill the demon, then they have a wedding. And then things can go to hell or whatever. It just feels so unnatural and clunky! Is it because they need Anya to be a demon again? It is just mangled.

Anonymous

--We’ve had a lot hints that Xander’s home life was a painful mess, but this is the first time that we see up close just how messed up it is. Mr Harris is the worst. He clearly emotionally (and probably physically) abused his wife and son. He allowed his wife no dignity in his open disdain. It’s almost comical how much he sucks. ---Xander’s mom was really sad to watch. It’s clear that she thinks she matters very little. What I don’t understand is why Xander’s parents continue to stay together. Mr. Harris didn’t seem possessive or jealous, in fact he seemed very eager to not be married to Mrs. Harris anymore. So why didn’t they divorce? --I wondered about Spike’s presence there in the wedding until I realized that Anya must have invited Spike to the wedding. As a former demon, she probably always felt some kinship to him. ---The Spuffy scene was bittersweet. Spike and Buffy are approaching each other more cautiously and tenderly. It’s almost like the beginning of season 6 except for two things: Firstly, Buffy has regained her sense of… not purpose exactly, but sense of belonging and attachment to the world of the living despite the pain she is still working past- this makes her interaction with Spike more real, she is interacting with him/talking with him as opposed to trying to scrape out something that makes her feel. They both are just two people, really two exes, talking. This leads me to the second thing that has changed from early season 6 to now: Friendship. They have it, sort of. Thing is, Buffy and Spike have always had a natural back and forth between them. As enemies that came across as a verbal battle/banter, but now its a natural back and forth between two people who both understand/like each other.

Anonymous

Marriage is meant to be a lifetime commitment, something that has become rare. The vows say 'for better or for worse', and too often people people give up when the 'worse' happens. Xander' s decision to not get married was definitely the right one.

Holi117

Oh god this episode... i hate how they give us that beautiful spuffy scene in here, after the trash they have given us over the past few episodes... this is like late s5, early s6 spuffy that we all love and root for (and randomly, they decide to make it a degrading farce, break them up, and then give us a hint of them again... ergh! AND then poor Anya... how broken she is... God, Xander really is a shitty dude. I spend half the time wanting to smack him! So many people are blinded by his character - and dont get me wrong, i dont hate him, he just pisses me off lol. Since way back in s1 he does stupid, selfish things, he lies, he makes bad decisions and never seems to learn from them... god, it was so clear he had doubts right from the beginning of the season - look how long it took him to tell people theyw ere engaged, and then how freaked out he was at the party, all the stress eating while planning... and now he goes and does this. ARGH! Stupid xander! Such a sad episode. We can never have nice things!!

Anonymous

You are absolutely right Shan. Xander should have made his reservations known much earlier. Someone once said to me that courtships can take as long as necessary, but engagements should be brief. The decision to marry should be made when the couple is certain of the choice. A brief engagement lessens the temptation to stray.

Richard Lucas

Good points! The heart can not only express love, but also be selfish. The brain can tell it not to be, but the heart wants what it wants.