RPG Time! (9) (Patreon)

You have been summoned by the old woman in the corner, and you are not one to disobey a creepy old lady, especially one that's probably a witch. Being turned into a frog definitely wouldn't suit you. So, with a sigh, you leave your seat and head across the room to where she is seated. As you approach, she crooks her finger again and pats the chair next to her. You sit. For a long moment there is only an awkward silence.

"Well," she says in a high pitched, quavering voice. "Are you going to say anything, or are you just going to sit there staring at me?"

You're caught off guard by her comment, and can only think of the most basic reply. "Hello?"

She scoffs. "Yes, well I suppose that's a start." She stares at you a moment, eyes boring into your head as though trying to see into your very soul. It's a bit disconcerting and you shift uneasily in your seat. Finally, she speaks again.

"What the hell are you doing way out in the wilds?" She asks bluntly.

You look around for anyone that might help your situation before answering. No luck. Everyone is lost in their ale mugs. "I'm an adventurer." you answer.

"An "Adventurer", eh?" She eyes you up and down. "Don't look much like an adventurer to me."

"It's all in my heart."

"Bah," she says with a dismissive wave. "It's all in your head. And there's not enough in there to be worth a damn, either!"

You're so amused by her comical bluntness that you spit your ale out. The old woman laughs at you.

"I thought you were going to tell me something cryptic." You say, wiping the ale off the table with your sleeve.

"I'm not that kind of witch," she replies, her voice tinged with amusement.

I knew it! You think to yourself. Of course she's a witch.

"Well, it was nice meeting you!" you say attempting to beat a hasty retreat, but she grabs you by the collar and yanks you back into your seat. You flop back down rather unceremoniously.

 "Sit down! I won't bite." she barks, eyeing you sharply.

You pause, torn between curiosity and horror. But you remain seated.

"Now, let's try this again." she says. "What's an "adventurer" like yourself doing all the way out here in the eastern plains?"

"I'm headed to the haunted wood."

And why would you possibly want to go there? No wait! Let me guess... for adventure! She cackles. "Hmm..." the old woman thinks for a moment. "You know, the haunted wood is not for the faint of heart. You'd better be careful."

"I will," you assure her.

"See that you are! There are things you should be prepared for in those woods."

Now she has your attention. "What kinds of things?"

"Alas. I am too parched to go on." she replies.

Oh brother! You think to yourself. Isn't that just the oldest trick in the book. On second thought, maybe not as old as her. With a wry smile you summon the inn keeper and order an ale for the both of you. She gulps it down hungrily. "Ahhhh. Now, where was I?"

"You were about to tell me what I should know about the haunted wood."

"Right, right. Well, firstly, it's haunted!"

 "You don't say."

"Well, yes. But not just by ghosts. There are monsters there as well. Horrible, horrible monsters!" She clears her throat loudly and spits on the floor before continuing. "They will tear you little butt limb from limb they will."

You have to admit, meeting your untimely death isn't really something you'd like to experience on this trip. "Really?"

"Yes, really! Stump for brains! And second, those woods are not as they seems. The paths wind and twist and change. If you don't know the way, you will be lost forever."

Changing pathways? Handsome adventurer eating monsters? This is starting to sound less like and adventure and more like a nightmare. "I'm not sure I understand."

"No, you don't. And you won't, unless you've been there. But trust me, you don't want to go into that forest unless you know the way."

You are about to ask her how you're supposed to know the way, when the inn keeper returns with the food you ordered. She digs into the plate of meat and bread, wolfing down the food as if she hasn't eaten in days. "Mmmm. Tastes good. Thank you, (unintelligible munching sounds)."

"So, are you saying you can show me the way?"

"Bwa-Ha!" she laughs, spraying you with little bits of food. She shakes her head. "No, I can't. But I know someone who can. Some one with a magical map!

"That sounds like the kind of person I need to find. It also kinda sounds like a pile of horse shit but fuck it, I'll bite. Where can I find him or her or whomever?"

"Not far, I think. Maybe a day's walk from here. Look for a small cottage in a clearing, just inside the tree line. He will be there." she said, pointing a chicken leg at you for dramatic effect.

"Does this person have a name?"

"Of course!" the old woman replies. "He is known as the wizard!"

"And I'm supposed to just knock on his door and say, 'excuse me, wizard, may I please borrow your magic map?'"

The old woman shrugs. "That's all I got kid."

"Eh, Okay." You sigh. "Thanks, I suppose that helps. Let me buy you another ale."

The old woman smiles the biggest three toothed grin you've ever seen, and you can't help but feel as though you've just made a friend.

You have another round together and shoot the shit. It's not every day that you get to hang out with a witch so you suppose that sort of counts for an adventure in itself.

About halfway through your round a small group of ragged musicians shuffles in and begin the evenings entertainment. They're not especially good, but you enjoy the tales they tell with their ballads. You especially like the Ballad of the Muscled Maiden of the East about an amazon warrior of great strength that won renown during the Orian Campaign. (Listen to the song below.)

Soon the barmaid returns and asks if you'd like another round. You hadn't planned on it but you are kind of starting to enjoy yourself. It's time to make a decision then. Do you hang around the tavern for the whole evening, or do you use the time to wander about the tiny town?