Important announcement (Patreon)

hey there.

i'm sorry for this post. i'm going through a very hard period right now, and i just want to vent a bit here. you can just ignore this post, but i really have to let some things out.

i started this project out of passion back in 2021, three years ago. it started out as a simple experiment, i wanted to see if there is any chance i could become a good artist, and i've enjoyed this a lot. learning all of the things i know was very pleasant, and to see myself evolve was making me happy.

more than that, i began to have some very loyal people supporting me which i could make happy, and i am very grateful for that. i am grateful for everyone supporting me either morally or financially, or even both. but mostly, i am very grateful for the people who were so loyal to me, even if they didn't even have to. i will never be able to thank you enough, i love you.

now... as time passed, numbers increased, and i've began to take this very seriously. and that just because i love what i am doing. everything was working out perfectly, i was continuously growing and evolving. to create the art i love and also earn some decent income on it was the dream for me.

however, this came with many problems. when things got serious, it became a lot harder to manage my content and my community.

one of the problems was that i would feel pressured to post frequently, which caused some of my work to be rushed. this might've caused some disappointment in the quality of my content. i would have a lot on my schedule, both commissions and posts for subscribers at the same time, and i felt overwhelmed and sad that i had to always delay my content. also, i feel like recently i've been stuck, no more evolving, and content is kind of bland. i'm sorry for that, i really am. i am sorry if i disappointed you.

then... more serious problems appeared as time went on. back in november i opened a boosty account so that people who couldn't use patreon could also enjoy my work there. well, everything nice and good, until my account got banned, because apparently NSFW content is not allowed. after long talks with the support, i managed to get unblocked, but since then, I couldn't post pictures of my works, just links to download the content. well, this caused a mass unsubscribing from everyone, and made me lose a lot of motivation. to be honest, i was lucky, because sadly some creators were permanently banned, without recovery.

at the same time, a lot of my PRIVATE content has been shared without my permission on different platforms. this is one of the biggest problems, and it made me very demoralized and made very sad, because all of my art which is meant only for subscribers was now shared publicly, just like that. and i knew at some point it would happen, because after all most artists have this problem, but it came right when i was already going through a hard period. i know the problem comes from boosty most likely, not from here. i managed to delete most of them, but ... it's hard.

and even more, there is a lot of insults to me on these groups. people laughing that "i'm getting destroyed", people laughing at how bad my work is and why someone would ever pay for it, people calling me disgusting slurs!!!! 

not only that they steal my PRIVATE content, but they publish it without watermark, while simultaneously insulting me so much, and telling people that i don't deserve to be promoted. i've seen some screenshots from these groups and i can not believe what people are saying, i'm literally just creating art, i don't understand why all those insults, really. i know i am not the greatest artist out there, i know some of my work is bad, cringe, but i don't feel like i deserve this type of hate.

also, in case it wasn't clear, i don't do this for money. it's just that, i work so hard, and people really don't know how much soul, passion and hours i put into my artworks and animations. people only see the final result and not how many tries, how many reworks, how many remodels ... and to have this happen to me, to be treated like i'm just a trash, to be called such bad words really hurts me and makes me want to give up. i really don't want to quit, this project made me so happy during these years, but it seems like the "fancy" period ended and i've entered a continuous hell which i can't escape.

i'm trying my best to remain on my feet, because i really love what i'm doing, and i'm also doing it for the people who are supporting me, which again, i love a lot! and thank you so much again for everything that you guys have done for me.

all i can say is, future is uncertain. it's not the end yet, and i hopefully can come back from this mentally, but the recent events really hurt me, after all i am a person as well, and i have a heart, it's hard for me to endure all of that.

anyway, if anyone made it until here, sorry for this long wall of text. i hope some people can understand me. no, i'm not quitting just yet. it's just that... it feels like it's near... and that makes me very sad.