Chapter 159: Wisconsin (1) (Patreon)

[General POV]

“Hi, and you’re back to watching MTV news.” The MTV logo turned to a picture of Edward’s leaving the hospital before the concert.

“Teenage Pop Star Edward Newgate had found himself in a perilous situation yet again when he was rushed to the hospital at midnight before the 4th of July. The details of the situation have been confirmed by our investigation on the scene. Here’s what had happened.”

“Edward Newgate was rushed to the hospital because of a heart failure, and he was placed on life support immediately by the doctors. Moment’s before the doctor could announce his time of death, he miraculously woke up from his condition, stunning all the doctors in the world.”

The screen showed the toxicology report of Edward that was leaked purposely by Entertain company to make sure that people wouldn’t accuse Edward of abusing harmful substances.

“His peculiar condition was nicknamed by the doctors, calling it the ‘Sleeping Beauty Syndrome. It is still uncertain whether or not his situation is harmful to his well being, or will he need another miracle to continue living.”

“On another note, the Entertain Company had sent out a notice saying that Edward Newgate’s debut album, “Breaking”, will be released earlier than the notice, pulling the release date forward to 7th of July.”

“The fans were sending prayers to Edward Newgate from all over the world, and we hope that he can get through his predicament and return to the stage for his world tour launching in a few more weeks.”

The screen changed to a clip interview with Robert Downey answering a question about Edward in his Iron Man promotional campaign interview.

The interview asked about Edward’s condition, and RDJ replied with a heavy smile, “Yeah. I called him as soon as I heard the news. He told me he was fine and the others were exaggerating, so I guess he doesn’t want to make people worry about him.”

“But you did?” The interviewer asked.

RDJ nodded and said, “Of course. I’m pretty damn worried about him. I even considered barging over there with my Iron Man costume to fulfill his ‘make-a-wish’ request, but he was discharged before I could do that.”

The actor wasn’t joking. He really did consider doing so.

“He told me he needs to wear a heart monitor right now, and most importantly, his condition is not life threatening. Like the nickname the doctor gave his condition, he was actually sleeping the entire time.” RDJ continued.

Then, the screen changed to a clip interview of Taylor after she got out backstage from her concert in Vegas. Taylor was hounded about Edward and whether she was going to see him, but Taylor refused to comment on the subject and walked to her SUV quickly.

However, the camera recorded her reddish eyes and pale face as she had just gotten the news.

“Next up, Britney had shown us another shocking action by shaving her head-”

[Edward POV]

“You’re a bastard, you know that?” Taylor cursed while Skyping with me in the morning as we watched the MTV interviews together. Not only MTV were reporting the celebrity gossip, Edward’s condition and his album release date has been reported by major news channels such as BBC, CNN, etc.

“Well I’d be stupid if I missed this opportunity.” I muttered while shaking my head slightly.

“I know. That’s why I said you’re a bastard. Do you know how many of your fans are crying right now?” Taylor admonished me.

To be clear, her reddish eye and upset demeanor after leaving the concert hall was true.

Her concert ended at 11 pm, and she was resting in the building until she read a text message from Selena telling her what had happened. She wanted to use a helicopter to go to the hospital immediately, but I woke up in time to stop her.

It took me a lot of effort to convince her that I was fine, and to make sure that she didn’t cancel her fan meet the next day because of me. Although she was doubtful about the authenticity of my word, she calmed down after I requested a favor from Dr House to vouch for me.

“So, you’re banking on this incident to sell more albums?” Taylor asked with a skeptical look.

“Obviously.” I shrugged and shook my head at the same time. She narrowed her eyes and said, “It’s not like in the rumors that you’re only doing this because you don’t have much time left right?”

“Well…who do you think spread the rumors?” I smirked slyly, causing Taylor’s hair to rise behind her neck.

“You demon! Ugh! You’re seriously a monster! How could  I ever be attracted to you?!” Taylor complained seriously. I then leaned forward and flirted, “But you are turned on right now right?”

“Stop joking around….and yes…so come back from Wisconsin soon.” She licked her lips before sending me away with a warm smile.

The decision to take advantage of the chaos was decided arbitrarily after I went back from the hospital. Not only would it do some damage control on the whole incident, it also served as a promotional material for my album release.

And yes, I also agreed with Taylor that my approach was highly unethical to take advantage of people’s vulnerability. I was in a dilemma at first, but it helped me to control the narrative by myself so I went ahead and did it.

Also, I had to defend myself in this one. None of the information that I had sent out was untrue…Well except for the rumor. But it wasn’t even me who came out with the theory. I just fanned out the fire by pushing it to the main discussion of the forum thread.

“Am I really feeling guilty right now? Pull yourself together!” I mumbled to myself before I walked down the stairs while carrying a small luggage. My dad was eating a sandwich that I had made for breakfast before he said, “Okay. Let’s go. Your grandparents had already called me 3 times this morning to ask if we were on the flight yet.”

“Did you tell her that we can’t use our phones in the air and we’ll call as soon as we land?” I asked with a puzzled look. My dad was silent for a while before saying, “I…didn’t think of that.”

“Where’s aunt Camila?” I asked after I took a look around. “I want to say goodbye before we leave.”

My dad was hesitant  and he grabbed my shoulder, “Well Ed…a change of plans.”

My aunt suddenly appeared from behind me with a small baggage in her shoulder, “I’M COMING WITH YOU! ISN’T THAT EXCITING!?”

I scowled after being stunned for a few seconds, “You’re just coming because you want to keep an eye on me. Honestly, when will this nightmare end!”

“For all of us, when the doctor finally came out with a diagnosis. Until then, buckle up.” My dad said with a grin. I scoffed and grabbed my sandwich. A driver from my agency picked us up and drove us to the private airport where we used the private plane to fly to Wisconsin.

“What’s that? Reducing Carbon Footprint? I’m sorry. I’m not Greta-”

“Ed, what are you mumbling about?” My dad asked in confusion while sitting in an aisle in front of me– sitting face to face with my aunt.

“Nothing!” I shouted back before turning on the TV channel to watch a movie during the flight. I picked, [Enchanted] by Disney, and was enjoying watching the movie for the first time in my two lives.

As I saw the princess– Giselle summoned animals using her voice, I got an inspiration to try something out.

“AaaaAaaAaaAaaa~ (Mimicking Amy Adam)”

“Huh? Edward, what are you doing?” My aunt asked as she laughed at my effort.

I was a bit embarrassed and said, “I don’t know. I feel like I can do that too.”

I was wondering if I could use my [Soul Voice] and [Animal Affinity] that was enhanced by my afterlife aura to become a real life Disney princess- Prince. If by any chance I could make it work, then it would be game changing for me.

A paparazzi wanted to follow me around? A swarm of rats will drag them to the pits of  hell. Someone wants to spy on me from afar? They need to pass my murder of crows first, and also my cat army.

“What are you thinking about that you’re grinning from ear to ear?” My dad asked in confusion as he walked by to grab a cup of water for himself. It’s not like we didn’t have a flight attendant, but he wanted to check up on me.

I scowled a bit before saying flatly, “World Domination.”

“Alright. Normal boys' thoughts. It’s my dad for interfering. Continue.” My dad waved dismissively under my unsatisfied gaze before he returned to his seat.

(Just to be clear, he’s mad because of the way they were treating him, but at the same time he couldn’t get mad at them as their concern is valid.)

…

“Hi Grandma Jules. Hi Grandpa Sam.” I greeted after getting out of the airport. My Grandpa looks kinda like the Other Ron from Parks and Recs, while my grandmother looks like Marshall’s mother from HIMYM.

My grandmother has wavy rusty hair with a tall and still attractive figure even when she was almost 55 years old this year. She opened her arms and said in a sweet and warm voice, “Edward. It’s been so long!”

She pulled me into her embrace, and I was surprised that I could only reach her bosom as the woman was freakishly tall.

In fact, in the family, my dad was considered to be the runt of the litter with his 185 cm tall height. Even my grandmother was taller than him, and she loves to wear high heel shoes when going out.

(Edward’s grandmother – Suzie’s Plakson, aka Marshall’s mother.)

(Sam Elliot – Ted’s dad/ Edward’s grandpa)

“Dad.” Ted nodded slightly at his dad.

“Son.” My grandpa replied with a nod too. The old white-haired man with a cowboy hat and thick white mustache turned towards me before smiling slightly and patted me on the shoulder. “You’ve grown.”

“I know.” I replied casually. My grandparents smiled before my grandma said excitedly, “We should hurry home. I’ve spent all night making a perfect brisket for you. I know how much you love grandma’s brisket.”

My eyes lit up, “Oh. I can’t wait. Did you slaughter the cow at the ranch?”

My grandmother hesitated while my grandpa smiled, “Yes. I picked the one that looks the juiciest.”

“Nice.” I nodded before wiping my imaginary saliva.

“By the way, Ted. Is this your new wife?” My grandpa pointed out casually as he saw my aunt. You sure like them latinas.”

Camila and Ted were stunned before Camila got flustered and offered her  hand to my grandparent, “Hi. I-I’m not his new wife. I’m his ex-wife’s younger sister, so I’m Ed’s Aunt…technically.”

My grandmother’s eyes lit up, “Oh. So you’re part of the family. Come here you!” She walked towards my aunt and gave her a big hug while my grandpa just nodded at her. Camila was taken aback at first before she just went with us.

“She smells like Canada right?” I whispered to my aunt after my grandmother released her.

“Canada?”

“Maple syrup and vanilla.”

“Oh right. Canada- Wait, why vanilla?” She almost went with it before she got confused by the category.

I turned to her and said in a normal voice, “Well you know we got vanilla through a beaver’s anus? And the beaver is Canada’s official mascot.”

“WHAT?!” She widened her eyes in disbelief. “Ed, don’t prank your aunt.” My dad interrupted quickly. My aunt rolled her eyes while I laughed.

“Is Uncle Aaron here?” I asked as we got in the van.

“No. But your Aunt May and cousin are here.” My grandma replied excitedly.

“Hmm Aunt May. If only my name is  Peter.” I mumbled to myself.

“Then you’re the real life spiderman?” My aunt said in a sarcastic manner. I turned to her and nodded, “You do get me.”

We then took a 40 minute drive inside my grandpa’s van he used to pick up the guest for the ranch. Luckily for us, he didn’t use the pickup truck or else me and my dad had to sit at the back during the whole journey.

“There’s a mountain lion being spotted at the mountain trail, so don’t wander off too far okay Ed?” My grandpa advised as we passed by the hiking trail entrance.

“Don’t worry Grandpa. I’m not even planning to get out of the house.” I replied, causing my grandparents to be confused. We could finally see the ranch after a while.

The grass was green, cows and horses were grazing on the field. The ducks and the chicken were waddling around. And almost every animal that we passed through were looking at me weirdly as they saw me.

“What’s he talking about Ted?” My grandmother asked with a whisper as she stole a gaze at me.

“Uhhh..” My dad hesitated, “I’ll tell you what’s going on when we get home.”

…

After explaining about my situation to my grandparents, my grandmother hugged me for a long time. She didn’t let go for over 20 minutes of burying my face in her bosom.

“Oh you poor poor child.” My grandmother tried to comfort me.

“I’m actually pretty rich right now.” I joked after I could finally breathe.

“Alright. You go and wash up before we have dinner.” My grandmother ordered. Granted it was only 4 pm, but here in the ranch, we have dinner early, we went to sleep early, and we also wake up early.

“Which room should I stay in?” I asked in confusion. My grandparents suddenly realized something and looked at each other. “Oh no. There’s only 2 beds left.”

“What?” I was in disbelief. My dad then muttered nervously, “But we have 3 people.”

“It’s fine. Ed can bunk with his cousin Amy like they always do.” My grandmother muttered sweetly. A teenage girl suddenly walked towards the living room and was stunned as she heard the statement.

The red-haired girl with a short stature said hurriedly. “Grandma No! We’re already teenagers! It’s weird for me to bunk with a boy!” She was wearing a black crop shirt and a jean short. She also has a large chain necklace on her neck as she was in her punk era.

(Jenna Coleman- Amy)

“And hello to you too.” I rolled my eyes at her before saying to my grandmother, “Don’t worry Grandma. I’ll just bunk with Dad.”

“No. Your dad’s bed is a single bed. But there’s a double bed in Amy’s room.” My grandmother said in an oblivious manner.

“Or we can throw him with the cows.” My cousin Amy shot me a dirty look.

“There’s no difference between that and staying in the same room as you.” I replied back. She was irritated and almost lunged at me but I held her short head with my arm, making her swing her fist uselessly.

“Seriously grandma. No.” I muttered.

“Nonsense. It’ll be fine Edward.” My grandmother waved her hand dismissively as she had already made the decision. My grandpa then threw my luggage inside the room before I could say anything to him.

“ This is going to be a long 5 days.” I rubbed my face in frustration before going to wash up before dinner.

“Oh, I should tell you. I invited Miss Allison from the church to join us today.” My grandmother said before walking away.

“Who’s Miss Allison?” I was confused.

“Just a new friend of mine. She moved here from New York to teach the kindergarten here, and everyone in the town loves her!” My grandmother replied.

“Well we’ll see about that later.” I muttered suspiciously.

*Ding Dong*

Suddenly the doorbell rang. My grandmother clasped her hand in excitement and went to open up the door in a hurry.

“Hi Jules. You’re looking even prettier today.” The energetic woman who’s wearing a pink cardigan said excitedly as she was welcomed into the house. I widened my eyes in shock as she was incredibly gorgeous and also quite familiar.

‘Jennifer Garner? How…Why?...WHAT?!’ My mind was a mess as I saw her.

She looked at me and suddenly gasped, “Prince Edward?!”

“Who? Ah right. You’re famous now?” My cousin said sarcastically as Jennifer Garner– I meant Miss Amy was stunned to see me. Allison shook her head quickly to snap herself back to reality and said, “Edward Newgate. Hi. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Hi. Miss Allison. You’re incredibly pretty. And I can guess why my grandmother invited you here, but right now I got a feeling that I want to compete with my dad-”

“Ed. Don’t say nonsense.” My aunt stopped me hurriedly. “Also. Ted. Wipe that drool off your face.”

“Hi. I’m Camila.” My aunt then introduces herself calmly. “You must be Edward’s fan?”

“Oh yes. I’d also followed him on Instagram, Twitter, Forum…and I’m even in his fan club.” Allison said in embarrassment.

“Oh Edward? You’re THAT famous?” My grandmother asked in surprise. My grandad was nonchalant and he asked, “You’re making decent money?”

“Yes. And Yes.” I replied casually. “Now. Where’s that brisket?” I rubbed my hands together in anticipation. My grandmother laughed and told me she was proud of me for a few more minutes before we could finally get to the meat.

I met my aunt May at the dinner table, which if you’re curious, she didn’t look like Melissa Tomei, but just looked like a younger version of my grandmother.

“Ed. Do you want to say grace?” My grandmother said as we held hands together at the dinner table. My grandma was a hardcore baptist, but the rest of the family is not so much.

“No thanks.” I shook my head, causing my grandma’s head to droop in disappointment.

“I can lead it grandma.” My cousin said hurriedly.

“Suck up.” I whispered to her.

“Sell out.” She whispered back.

“Alright. No concert tickets for you then.”

“NOOO! I want to go!” She quickly changed her attitude and begged me.