HP: I got Transmigrated into the World of Magic [Chapter 90: Thirty-Seven Steps! ] (Patreon)

"Yes, William, but please call me Astoria."

"Thanks, Astoria. You think Daphne will forbid you from going now?"

"No, she'll probably feel bad soon, if she doesn't already," she says, glancing nervously back to the common room. "She wouldn't be able to stop me anyway. Don't tell her I said those things, though."

I smile. "Our little secret, then. It was nice meeting you, Astoria." I stand up with Neville's assistance and offer her my hand. "And thanks for coming, Ms. Davis. Tell Daphne I'm sorry about the hug. I'll ask her first next time."

Astoria giggles at that. "You like my sister, don't you?"

I grin back. "Well, she is quite stunning."

She laughs at that. "That was awful, William."

I sigh exaggeratedly. "Nobody enjoys a good pun around here, I tell ya. See you later, Astoria, Ms. Davis." I wave and walk away.

Nobody says anything for a minute while we make our way back up the way we came.

"What just happened?" Neville asks finally. That opens the floodgates.

"I can't even figure out where to start asking questions to figure that out," Parvati says.

"I got a date for the Ball," I supply helpfully.

"Yeah, but in the last hour you also had a deep conversation with a door knocker, chatted up the old lady in the Slytherin common room portrait, claimed a drop-dead gorgeous Veela is only the third most attractive woman in the castle, wandlessly broke a Silencing Charm on yourself, put it back on, got Stunned by your date's sister, made a joke about it, and walked away smiling." Padma takes a deep breath after that.

"He threatened the door knocker with a Reductor Curse, too, just before you guys came out," Parvati adds.

"And he said he was going to use the Thirty-Seven Steps on the older sister," Lavender says.

I cock my head back in surprise. "Well, it does sound pretty impressive when you say it like that. It was a productive hour."

"It's too bad she accepted, William," Luna says, head tilted playfully. "I would have liked to see what happened if you went to Hufflepuff basement."

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"Astoria Greengrass, William? What were you thinking and what happened to your face?" Hermione shrieks when she finds us on the stairs almost to the common room. Harry is standing behind her trying unsuccessfully not to smile.

"Oh hi, Hermione," I say with a grin, "it's wonderful to see you, too." I note the privacy charm already around us.

"How'd you know about Astoria?" Parvati asks, surprised.

Hermione immediately flushed with embarrassment. "Uh...I...er." She looks at me for help.

"She figured it out, obviously," I say, "you don't have to hide it, Hermione, I know you know about some of my devious plots."

"Um, right..."

"Has he used the Thirty-Seven Steps on you?" Lavender blurts again.

Hermione turns to her with a confused expression. "The what?"

"I'll show you later," I say with the same grin. Lavender blushes and makes a little squeak as she runs into the common room.

"What, exactly, did you do, William?" Hermione asks, looking at me suspiciously.

"It was a productive couple of hours," I say nonchalantly.

Neville and Parvati snort at that. "Well, Padma's not here to recap it all this time, but I'll try," Parvati offers. She does an admirable job, with Neville's assistance.

"You did what to the portrait?" Hermione says, aghast.

"I didn't do anything," I insist, holding my hands up in surrender, "I was only suggesting it, and I wasn't serious."

She crosses her arms but lets that slide. "Well, why did you let Daphne hit you with a Stunner?"

"I didn't let her," I say, "she got me when my back was turned."

"And why was your back turned?" She turns her head as if lecturing a child.

I look down with a exaggerated pout. "Because I was going for more hugs."

"William!"

"What? It was an emotionally charged moment! I thought for sure I could sneak one in with Ms. Patil and her sister at the same time." I didn't think that at the time, actually, but now that I have, I curse myself for missing the chance. I really should have went for them after Astoria.

Hermione scoffs, but my pout is ruined when I smile as Parvati laughs.

"You are incorrigible, William," Hermione says in her usual semi-disgusted tone.

"You know, you're going to run out of insults," I say with a grin, "in fact I think you might have used that one already."

"Doesn't make it any less true!"

Parvati surprises me with a quick hug. "Well, you didn't have to sneak it with me. Thanks for the...interesting evening. Please call me Parvati." She turns to Hermione and smiles. "I think I finally have an idea what you and Harry have gone through all this time."

"Thanks for coming with me, Parvati," I say, smiling back. "Maybe we can do it again sometime, except with less violence."

She laughs. "I don't know if I can handle your special brand of insanity again for a while. See you around, William."

"If this is what it's like hanging around you three all the time, I don't know if I can keep up either," Neville says with a grin. "Later, guys."

Hermione says goodbye to Neville and turns back to me with an unreadable look. "You've certainly made an impression on them."

"Eh, you know me," I say with a shrug. "I might have been showing off a bit."

"Not surprising," she says. "Should I be as afraid as I think I should be to ask about these Thirty-Seven Steps?"

"Probably." I try unsuccessfully to suppress a grin.

She purses her lips to the side and her eyes darken.

My grin falters and I turn away. "Hermione, you know what it does to me when you make that face."

"William," she whines, "be serious!"