HP: I got Transmigrated into the World of Magic [Chapter 88: NO-NO-NO! ] (Patreon)

"If you were corporeal, I would show you. A woman like you might make it to Step Twenty."

She has just enough time to look shocked before her portrait swings open, revealing an older student I don't recognize. He stares at me dumbly. Wonderful.

"Hello, sir, I would like to speak with Mr. Zabini if you please," I say formally.

He does not respond.

"I do menial labor for his father, you see. If you would tell him that his father's Gryffindor landscaper wishes to speak with him, I would appreciate it."

Without speaking he turns around and shuts the portrait, who immediately starts yelling at me. Before she gets an entire threat on my life out I cast a privacy charm and all external noise fades to a muted buzz.

"Why'd you ask for Zabini?" Neville asks, perplexed.

I grin and am about to answer when I notice Lavender, Parvati, and Padma appear to be nervously looking around for the source of the white noise. 

"Sorry, ladies, that's my privacy charm doing the buzzing...the old bat here was going to start giving me a headache," I say jerking my thumb over my shoulder. 

"To answer your question, Neville, I didn't ask for Mr. Zabini at all. Blaise will pass my message to the appropriate party."

"Clever," Luna says.

I smile. "It seemed like something a Slytherin might do."

"What was that you said to the woman that made her so angry?" Lavender asks.

"William implied he would use some sort of sexual technique on her to show her what he knows of beauty and grace," Luna says, still smiling. "Some technique with at least twenty steps, apparently."

"The Thirty-Seven Steps to Female Ecstasy, to be precise," I say with a grin. I enjoy the sight of blood rushing to my face. Even Luna blushes slightly. "Very few women make it past step twenty."

"H-how would you—?" Lavender asks.

"Why, Ms. Brown, a gentleman who doesn't kiss and tell," I interrupt smoothly. The portrait swings open, and Daphne, Blaise, and Tracey step out. "Speaking of kissing..." I drop the privacy charm.

"—doing here, Lerner?" Blaise finishes.

"My apologies, Mr. Zabini," I say with an apologetic bow. "I hope my request did not inconvenience you overmuch."

Daphne rolls her eyes at my continued over-the-top formality while he scoffs. "He didn't recognize you since you aren't with Potter."

"I'll be fine, Blaise, Tracey, you can go back," Daphne says firmly.

He and Daphne seem to have a staring match, but he eventually acquiesces and disappears while Tracey remains.

"You don't have to—" Daphne begins, but I cut her off.

"Actually, she's okay, I wanted to tell you that, thanks to this fine gentleman right here," I say, clapping Neville on the shoulder, "I have dress robes for the Ball as of about two hours ago."

Her eyes snap back to me, but she makes no readable expression. "I already have a date."

"Congratulations," I say with a smile, "of course I expected no less. And you rather publicly rejected my previous invitation, if I recall." I ignore the gasps behind me.

"Actually, I was wondering if perhaps a particular young lady was staying here for the holidays and might still be available. I think you know her; her name is Astoria—"

"No!" Daphne exclaims, eyes flashing dangerously.

I frown. "Does she already have a date, then?"

"No."

"Then she is going home?"

"No."

"May I speak with her?"

"No."

I look directly into her ice-blue eyes. "I would treat her as my own sister."

She stares back, lips pressed into a thin line for several tense moments before saying anything. "You will not involve her in..."

"No," I say, holding her gaze. "I will not."

She breaks eye contact and looks down. "The answer is still no."

"Are you quite finished deciding her future for her?" I ask softly, eyebrow raised.

Her eyes flash at having her words turned back on her.

"Let me speak to her," I say more softly. "She has had a year and a half in Slytherin, has she not? Tell her I'm a Muggle-born Gryffindor and we'll see where the conversation goes."

Her ice-blue eyes turn back to bore into mine.

"Daph..." Tracey says.

"Fine," Daphne says suddenly, spinning around until Tracey stops her.

"Wait, I'll get her," the other girl says, disappearing into the common room.

Daphne turns back to me slowly. "How did you know about my sister?"

I grin.

She sighs, making her more relaxed than she had been since exiting the portrait. "Of course."

"You don't think I'll cause any trouble for her, do you? If she decides to go with me, that is." I frown slightly at the thought.

Daphne returns my look with an unreadable expression. "Maybe at first. Nothing she can't handle." She pauses and presses her lips together again, but this time in a hesitant manner. "The fourth years are shaken by what you said to Draco when we all caught you alone, by the way."

"You really did—?" Parvati says, eyes bulging.

I grin back at her.

"You told her?" Daphne asks, anger creeping back into her voice.

"She doesn't know the content of our conversation," I say, waving away the question. 

"And she only knows that much because Hermione warned me not to antagonize you guys this time. She and Harry are the only ones that weren't there that know what happened fully, and that's because they already knew." 

I meet her eyes so she can do whatever she does to see that I'm telling the truth, and eventually she gives a small nod. "So can we expect a bit more introspection on their part?" I ask.

She snorts and looks away, apparently satisfied that I'm telling the truth. "Hardly. Draco has barely said a word, though, and it's left most of his minions confused."

"It's nice to know that Mr. Malfoy isn't as stupid as the rest of the school thinks he is."

She looks surprised. "Isn't admitting something like that sacrilege for a Gryffindor?"