HP: I got Transmigrated into the World of Magic [Chapter 86: Knocker! ] (Patreon)

"Yes, an inappropriate one, at that," I say unabashedly.

"So what makes you think you're good enough for my sister, then?" Parvati asks, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm not. But alas, there are simply too few Neville Longbottoms in this world to go around." I clap the blushing boy on the shoulder.

Neville barks out a laugh. "Yeah, right."

"It's true," I insist. "You haven't stolen a single glance at these gorgeous girls behind us, and I'm on track to hit triple digits by the time we get back to the common room."

"I thought you and Hermione were together," Lavender blurts out, "er, maybe, for a while..."

I smile, but I realize whatever I say on that front is bound to reach the entire school. Rumors about a love triangle between me, Harry, and Hermione would be all over the place. I settle for, "no, I'm definitely not good enough for her."

"Because of Harry?" Her voice is soft but somehow still eager.

My smile fades and I let the question linger for a moment. "There aren't enough Harry Potters in this world, either," I say. That silences the whole group for several moments.

"I don't think inappropriate scoundrel is your natural state," Parvati says quietly.

We walk in silence several moments longer, as the cheeriness from the playful banter fades completely. "Thanks," I say back.

In a short time we reach what the eagle-shaped bronze knocker guarding the Ravenclaw common room, and it recites today's riddle in an almost bored tone.

I am heavy but weightless,
You must share me for relief.
Kept from enemies I'm valued,
Kept from friends I bring grief.
What am I?

"A secret," I say, then let my voice drop to a mutter. "How appropriate."

"You are not Eagles," it says, suddenly taking in our appearance.

"That would be a good riddle," I say, "why is the Ravenclaw mascot an eagle and the Gryffindor mascot a lion?"

"We are not our namesakes," the knocker replies smoothly.

I cock my head back in surprise. "Wow, that's way better than, 'because Salazar played a prank on them.' That's what I was going to guess."

Surprisingly, wizarding door knockers can scoff. "Even if you were wearing Ravenclaw robes I would have seen through you from that answer."

I let out an amused breath. "Clearly, sarcasm was not included in your enchantment."

"Clearly," it says, further proving my point.

"Right," I drawl. "So are you going to let us in, or can you pass a message to have someone meet us out here?"

"I am sorry, young Lion," it says, "only Ravenclaws and professors may pass."

"So why do we have riddles and passwords and such, if you can simply recognize those who may enter?"

"We use riddles to keep our Eagles sharp," it says immediately. "I would not bother looking for logic in what other Houses do."

"Fair enough," I say idly, thinking of a solution to this issue. "So, on an average Saturday evening, how long would a visitor have to wait before encountering somebody either arriving or departing?"

"I suspect it will be less than ten minutes," it says.

"You only suspect? So are you unable to compile statistics of previous Saturday evenings?"

"That ability was not imparted upon my enchantment," it says evenly. "Ten minutes is merely an estimation based on the amount of time since I last permitted entry."

An obvious solution strikes me. "Is the door enchanted such that actually knocking is inaudible from the other side?"

"I am not a functional knocker."

"What about knocking with a fist?"

"That..." it says seriously, "would be most unwise."

I look back at my companions, all of whom are looking at me strangely. "Is anybody else tempted beside me?"

Parvati snorts but Neville and Lavender shake their heads. That probably has something to do with the odd conversation I'm having with a door knocker.

I sigh and turn back to the door. "I suppose the door is enchanted such that simply yelling at the top of my lungs won't accomplish much, will it?"

"It will not," it replies honestly.

"So do you know everybody that passes through these doors, or do you simply look for Ravenclaw robes?"

"I recognize all four of you now, so you will not be permitted entry even with Ravenclaw robes on."

"Damn. What if I am disguised – either through glamour or potion – as one of your eagles and I answer your riddle correctly?"

"I suppose I would not be able to tell the difference," it admits.

"So if we walked around the corner...?"

"If you come back a minute after you leave, I think I will have figured it out."

"I see." That could be a fun prank, disguising myself as a Ravenclaw in Gryffindor robes and then using that to deny somebody entry. "Hmm, do you have a way to communicate with Professor Flitwick?"

"I do not."

"That seems like a poor design decision," I say with a frown. "It seems to me you should have a way to alert the Head of House should someone attempt to break in. I'm sure a sufficiently powerful Reductor would permit entry."

"That would also be most unwise," it says slowly.

"Do you reflect it back the caster? What about the wall next to you?"

"I cannot disclose the specifics of the enchantments guarding the Ravenclaw common room."

"Indeed? What do you say we test that out?" I hold my wand out to maintain my wandless secret and conjure a ball of red light as close as possible to the color of the Reductor Curse, as close as possible to the end of the wand. Before it even grows beyond the size of a golf ball, the portrait opens and I quickly squash the light. "Ah ha! So you do allow someone inside to monitor the entrance!"

"Actually, I was on my way out," a rich, deep voice intones from the other side of the door. The door opens the rest of the way to reveal a tall, richly-dressed, clean-shaven man with brown hair swept elegantly to one side. "May I help you?"