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240. Jamie Loftus (Audio) (Patreon)

Published:
2023-02-23 22:39:11
Imported:
2023-09

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Hot diggity dog! We were super stoked to welcome back Jamie Loftus, podcaster/comedian/author of the forthcoming book "RAW DOG: The Naked Truth About Hot Dogs" this week! Plus a new old Activity of the Day from Vic, Doug's Guess the Eyes game and Tim's audition for Rick and Morty.

Oscar Fever is here! 🍿 Get tickets, membership and exclusive bundles for the 10th Annual LIVE On Cinema Oscar Special on 3/12 at heinetwork.tv/tickets.

Tim Heidecker is bringing his “No More Bullshit” stand-up character and The Very Good Band across the pond to the UK and the EU (plus Norway!) for a month of laughs, music and more this Spring. Get tickets now at timheidecker.com/live.

By semi-popular demand this is the audio version of this week's show! We still recommend subscribing via RSS with your podcast app of choice as well to get the full archives all on one feed.

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Title: "The Hot Dog Planet Adventure" [INT. MORTY'S GARAGE - NIGHT] Morty (the grandfather): "You son of a bitch, Rick, let's go to the portal!" The Rick (the kid): "Uggghhh, I don’t know, Morty!" Morty: "The combobulator is ready, Rick. Head to the wormhole!" [They both step through the portal and arrive at a new planet.] [EXT. HOT DOG PLANET - DAY] [The entire planet is made out of hot dogs. The ground, trees, and buildings are all hot dogs. The inhabitants of the planet all have hot dog-shaped heads.] The Rick: "Uhhh... Morty! What is this place?" Morty: "Hot dog, Rick! We've reached the multidimensional hot dog planet." [A hot dog-headed inhabitant approaches them.] Hot Dog Inhabitant: "Welcome, travelers! I am Wolly Wogman, leader of this delicious world!" Morty: "Wolly Wogman, we're here to study your photoplasm and electro-goo." The Rick: "Uuuuhhh, okay." [INT. HOT DOG SCIENCE LAB - DAY] [They all enter a lab where Wolly Wogman shows them hot dog technology.] Wolly Wogman: "Behold, our fart machine!" The Rick: "Uggghhh, I don’t know, Morty." Morty: "It's made out of cotton candy, Rick! Just like our Wally Wagon." [EXT. HOT DOG PLANET - DAY] [They all step outside, and Morty unveils their vehicle, the Wally Wagon, which is made out of cotton candy.] The Rick: "Uhhh... Morty!" Morty: "To the wormhole, Rick!" [They drive around the planet, collecting samples of photoplasm and electro-goo.] The Rick: "Uggghhh, no, Morty." Morty: "We've got enough samples. Let's go to the portal, Rick!" [They return to the portal.] [INT. MORTY'S GARAGE - NIGHT] [They step through the portal, back into Morty's garage.] Morty: "Hot dog, Rick! We did it!" The Rick: "Uhhh, okay." Morty: "Now let's analyze the photoplasm and electro-goo with our combobulator!" The Rick: "Uuuuhhh, I don’t know, Morty." Morty: "You son of a bitch, Rick. Trust me." [They analyze the samples and discover the secret of the hot dog planet's weird trait.] Morty: "Rick, the inhabitants of the hot dog planet have a penis-shaped nose!" The Rick: "Uggghhh, no, Morty!" Morty: "But now we know, Rick! To the wormhole!" [They step back through the portal to return the results to Wolly Wogman.] [EXT. HOT DOG PLANET - DAY] Morty: "Wolly Wogman, we've discovered your planet's secret! You all have penis-shaped noses!" Wolly Wogman: "You're right, Morty! Thank you for unveiling our mystery!" The Rick: "Uhhh, okay." Morty: "Let's go to the portal, Rick!" [They step through the portal, returning to Morty's garage.] [INT. MORTY'S GARAGE - NIGHT] Morty: "Another successful adventure, Rick!"