[43] I'm a Fucking Supe! (Patreon)

Why did you kill us? 

What did we ever do to you? We didn't deserve to die.

Are you the only one allowed to live? 

We had families to take care of. 

You are evil! Ruthless! Such a heartless bastard! 

You aren't even human! You are a monster! 

You massacred us! So we will drag you down to hell with us, where you truly belong. 

Come down with us!

Drown in guilt and despair, ye fool! 

We won't ever leave you alone until you face the consequences and pay for your demonic sin. 

You shall forever be damned, Joe Petersen! Murderer!

"Just shut the hell up, you fuckers!" Joe shouted in anger before his eyes abruptly snapped open. Instinctively, he punched towards his left and his fist blasted something metallic into innumerable pieces. 

BANG! 

The sound of destruction immediately refreshed his cognitive functions as he gazed to his left. The scene made him sigh with an apologetic look on his face. 

"Bee, why did you have to be there? And I thought I had started liking your presence," Joe silently lamented the fall of the little robot assistant. 

"Here I was worried about someone that feels bad after destroying a defective product," Minerva's voice, tinged with both worry and relief, interrupted his mourning. 

Joe shook his head and rubbed his temples. "Minerva, just give me a sec to pay respects to Bee's soul, alright?" 

"That's funny because I don't remember something that defective robot having a soul," Minerva lightly spoke in an amused voice as her holographic visage flickered into existence. 

"Are you being salty and jealous, Minerva?" Joe groaned in fake exasperation. 

"Hmph! Who's jealous of whom? I'm superior to it." Minerva scoffed in bitterness, her arms crossed defensively. 

"Don't you remember Bee's significance? How it reminded me of some aspects of myself?" Joe smiled, noting Minerva's straightforward reaction. Then, he propped himself before standing up. 

Joe noticed the vertigo was no longer there. His balance and agility felt as if he was rooted to the very earth itself. His sense of stability was beyond unprecedented. 

What is this lingering sense of ascendance as if I'm above the room, the clouds... above gravity? Joe thought in awe. He was unusually high; his brain easily dealt with sensory overload. 

He looked at the blinding florescent lights above, however, they seemed dim to his eyes. It didn't make him flinch or uncomfortable. 

Joe inhaled deeply, feeling the powerful suctioning force of his lung; the mysterious flow of illimitable energy coursing through his veins. 

"Joe, what are you—?" Minerva decided to cut through his moment, but Joe raised a restraining finger. 

"This is..." Joe said in awe as he looked down at his body. He now had enviable godly pectorals, well-defined deltoids, and rock-hard abs that looked like a dream. Joe tentatively touched his abs, feeling the raw core strength packed within. 

'If flexed enough, these babies can munch iron into scrap.' he mused with delight before shifting his focus to his 'package'. 

"Wow... is this the whole yogurt factory? Sheesh, I can only accept it even though I'm not a breeder," Joe chuckled, his fingers notoriously playing with the upgraded Excalibur and two dragon balls. 

"Oh God, stop with the incel act, Joe. How can you do 'that' in front of a minor?" Minerva complained, her holographic fingers hiding her embarrassed face. "Just put on some clothes first, neander-... Sir!" 

Joe rolled his eyes and shamelessly proceeded to flex his thick muscles like some Roman/Greek sculpture. Now he was akin to a literal Greek God or whatever that was. If previously he had been lean and toned, his musculature was now on the bigger side due to increased bone and muscle density. 

"Okay, I'm tired of pretending to be Adam," Joe smirked as he put on his lab coat to keep things PG-13. 

Minerva sighed in relief before observing him closely. Feeling more comfortable with him having clothes on over his disgustingly sexy and hot—

Joe narrowed his eyes as a sudden thought crossed his mind. "Don't you think you overreacted, Minerva? Aren't you the person with almost unlimited access to nudity and... adult sites over the internet?" 

"Really? I've got better things to do than skim through some low-quality porn," Minerva replied in displeasure. 

"Atta girl. I was just joking with you." Joe flashed her an apologetic grin. He took a silver tray from the workbench and checked his reflection. 

"Hmm, the hell do I look like an ultra instinct Giga Chad? Won't these perfect jawlines cut through vibranium?" He arched his brows as he inspected his facial features. Bored at looking at himself, he threw the silver tray away. 

Standing in the middle of his lab, Joe gradually closed his eyes. His heightened senses picked on his eternally illustrious heartbeat, the vigorous flow of blood full of vitality, the contraction of his body muscles, the distant sounds of people talking miles away... There was so much information and all could be analyzed simultaneously. He was even more aware of the odor radiating off his body. 

"I currently smell like some sewage rat. Did I take a Body Cleansing pill or a super soldier serum?" Joe shrugged to himself. 

"Anyway, Minerva, it's time to run a couple rounds of tests," Joe ordered before taking a syringe and trying to extract his blood sample. However, the needle failed to prick even his pores and quickly bent. 

Joe then cast a dubious look at Minerva. "Is that what I think it is?" 

"I don't know. Try something else. I need more data." Minerva was also curious about the high defense on his skin. 

Joe nodded and took a stainless steel knife. 

CRR! 

The knife also broke the moment it forcefully met his skin. 

Joe frowned and thought of a more lethal approach.  He looked at the drawers far off in the distance. 

Later on, he could be seen holding a Beretta 92FS against his skin. 

"Oh fuck, here we go again." Joe positioned the muzzle a few inches from his arm. 

"I've gone crazy, but crazy's what defines me anyway. I can only if invulnerable against standard munitions through this test." 

With his steady breath and expert hold on the gun like a special ops prodigy, Joe pulled the trigger without blinking. 

BANG! 

At point blank, the bullet instantly ricocheted off his skin and embedded itself on the wall. 

A shocked expression formed on Joe's handsome face as he gazed at the spotless recently gunned-down skin. 

"Am I... Invulnerable? Did I... Just shrug off a bullet off my skin?" A hilarious smile slowly crept up his mouth. 

"Hahaha!" He began laughing out loud like the final hidden boss. 

"I'm a fucking supe!" 

"I'm a fucking supe!" Joe repeated the same words in awe and disbelief. 

He was extremely happy. No, that term couldn't even begin to expound on what he was currently experiencing. 

Minerva watched from the sides as Joe went full-on mental. 'Why is he tweaking?' 

While she was genuinely happy seeing Joe laugh like that, she thought there was a need to include a psychological evaluation in the tests. 

After Joe finished bursting his own bubble, a relaxed expression gradually settled on his face. 

He had already made a remarkable step toward transcendence. The effort he had made was praiseworthy, but he didn't need anyone's praise on something that he was supposed to do. Now, his flesh was no longer weak. As to which extent? There was a wide array of tests to gauge his limits before getting conceited. Even though he knew he was still an insignificant character in the infinite multiverse, he didn't beat himself down. He strived to get even stronger. After all, the power of the gods can't be cultivated within mere weeks. 

***

Three hours later. 

Inside the training room. 

"I'm stronger. Faster. Smarter. I'm better," Joe said, wondrously gazing at his hands. He wasn't even out of breath after lifting weights in excess of tons, bending steel like clay, running faster than an Olympic medalist, punching through a reinforced wall... He could perform so many superhuman acts. 

"And this stamina... I could do this for an eternity." Joe felt he was the upgrade of Captain America like Homelander taunted Soldier Boy. However, that only applied to raw strength and physical stats. The same couldn't be said in terms of battle experience. 

If this isn't true evolution, then what is? 

"Joe, the tests showed a 300% increase in muscle density, a 500% increase in mitochondrial activities, and... your telomeres..." Minerva announced in excitement. 

"Spit it out." Joe voraciously drank a smoothie. God knows the calories he needs to consume. 

"Your telomeres have become simply unbelievable. With their length, you have almost stopped cellular senescence. Your cells also register extreme telomerase activity. You have become the key to—" Minerva explained enthusiastically. 

"So I'm now virtually immortal?" Joe loudly sucked on the smoothie. 

"Not really. You can easily live for multiple centuries. As for how long? I'm not sure." 

"But did you have to interrupt my analysis?" Minerva asked in an aggrieved tone. 

As Joe listened to the analysis of his new genetic composition, suddenly he got a call from Gwen. 

"Minerva, give me a moment please." Joe raised his palm before receiving the call. 

"Hi, Gwen." 

"J-Joe, Come—" Gwen's shaky and distressed voice was momentarily heard before the call ended. 

"Gwen, hello?" Joe furrowed his brows at the anomaly. 

Something wasn't right. Something must have happened to Gwen. 

'I hope nothing bad has happened...yet.' Joe thought with worry. 

"Minerva, trace the call ASAP. Also, try to access the footage of Gwen." 

It seems trouble had come knocking, not to his door, but Gwen's. And he couldn't just stand by watching. 

Whether it was a trap or a lie, he would know after Minerva gave him some insights! 

***