Story 10 - The Spy Who Rocked Too Hard (Part 9 🎸) (Patreon)

With Little Spring’s help, we finished all the instruments, including the drum set, before the sun rose. As Foundation Establishment cultivators, we didn’t have to sleep every day, so we merely cleaned up and left the space. A commotion outside caught my attention.

I stepped out of my room to see Gold String Delicate Touch standing in the middle of our courtyard with his arms crossed. In front of him was a pile of muddy red and gold uniforms that had been thrown on the ground like trash. As if to emphasize its stinkiness, flies buzzed around the pile. The wolf-eared asshole who had delivered the uniforms was in the beginning of Foundation Establishment. That appeared to be the only reason Gold String hadn’t crippled him for the insult.

“You expect us to wear these?”

Wolf-ears shrugged. “I was only asked to deliver these to your courtyard. And I was told you’d pay me ten mid-tier spirit stones for it.”

He held out his hand.

This brazen little shit. Usually, only protagonists and young masters were this arrogant.

Gold String’s jaw clenched and I could practically see a vein bulge on his forehead.

Little Spring exited his room like a furious storm while carrying Xiao Bai. He stopped in front of the uniforms and the messenger.

“What’s your name?” The kid asked while Xiao Bai growled.

“Third Wolf Howl.”

He nodded. “You realize that we’re about to become inner sect disciples, right? We can make your life a living hell.”

Rather than pale and cower, the disciple smiled and bowed condescendingly. “I’m merely the deliveryman. These clothes came with a message.”

Little Spring set the puppy down. “I have a feeling I’m not going to appreciate it.”

He smiled. “They said, ‘These rags are good enough for rogues like you.’”

Were they just rags? I scanned the pile with my divine sense and tsked. They were regular uniforms, but the quality of the materials wasn’t bad for a mid-tier sect. They’d just been dropped in mud and possibly manure several times to get this dirty. These jokers hadn’t even shredded them. It was almost cute that they thought this level of bullying would rile us up.

I’d been living in this goddamn Xianxia universe for over a thousand years and seen worse from thirteen-year-old girls. More times than I liked, that involved — horrifyingly — ruining someone’s reputation by using aphrodisiacs and some convenient person or creature. Fucked up shit I wished I could erase from my head. It was also a reminder that someone didn’t have to be a demonic cultivator to be a deranged individual.

Gold String’s eyes narrowed. “Who told you to tell us that?”

Wolf Howl grinned. “My Beast Blood Contractor Seniors.” He turned to Little Spring. “They’re especially interested in you, fellow disciple Verdant Spring.”

The kid narrowed his eyes at the messenger. He looked like he was about to start some shit in a protagonist-y way. With his luck, this might end up being the cause of a domino effect of experts he needs to take down. We didn’t have time for that and it may play into the scheme of the arrogant assholes who sent Wolf Howl over.

Actually, I didn’t know what they wanted out of this, but even if I did, I wasn’t sure I’d care. There were too many other things I needed to do today — for example, find mentees and raid the scripture pavilion.

I walked over to the pile and used the cleaning technique on the clothes. I may have accidentally cleaned everyone there, too. The annoying flies vanished. The wolf guy yelped while Gold String merely flinched. Both of them turned to me with wide, horrified eyes.

I picked up a red silk robe and smelled it. “There, perfectly clean.” To the cellular level, even. “They are in pretty good condition, too. I think the mud bath you gave them brought out their luster, like a pearl.” I tossed it back on top of the pile and pulled out my guitar. “Now for your tip. Pay close attention because you’ll never hear anything like this again.”

What this dear wolf-eared friend needed was to be put in his place. Of course, this meant I had to choose the right song. Big Mama Thornton’s blues song “Hound Dog” was close, but I think I needed Elvis Presley’s famous parody-inspired version. Well, technically, what I was about to play was a spiritual tune inspired by that song I’d developed for fun. It could make any canine-type beast feel like their father was yelling at them for being a disappointment and not living up to expectations. At least, that was the intention.

I ran my spiritual energy through the strings and played the first cords. Everyone turned toward me, eyes filled with curiosity.

Once I started singing about a bad dog, Wolf Howl scowled. He might have said something, but I couldn’t hear him over my guitar. At the second chorus, Xiao Bai howled his agreement that Wolf-Ears here was a no-good bad dog.

I came closer to the unorthodox beast tamer. He couldn’t take his widening eyes off me as I approached, while essentially calling him a lazy dog. With a powerful step, I encroached into his personal space. He took two steps back. His ears flattened and his spine curled as if a weight had been placed on him.

My next step forced him out of our courtyard.

Once I played the last note, he appeared thoroughly chastised.

“There. Your life and a good song is your payment. Now stay out.” I slammed the gate closed right in his face.

I may have heard him whisper ‘crazy’ something under his breath, but I wasn’t sure and couldn’t give enough of a fuck about someone so inconsequential to my plans.

When I turned around, I saw Little Spring grinning. “Little sister Linlin, the way you handled that situation was… impressive.”

I froze. What did this little fucker just call me?

Wait... He joined the sect first and was the same cultivation as I was, so he could be considered my older martial brother, depending on this sect’s rules.

I narrowed my eyes at the brat. ::You dare!::

::Never, martial sister Lin. It’s only for this mission. I swear.:: He cleared his throat and started organizing the uniforms.

I stared down at him and controlled my temper. This was necessary to throw off suspicion and get us home. We couldn’t fuck up here.

Gold String nodded. “I agree! Little martial sister Linlin was very powerful.”

Yep. I did not like that. I had gotten too used to our sect where everyone called me Senior again. It was difficult to go back to pretending to be a junior.

“Call me Teacher Linlin because I’m going to instruct you on how to play the bass.”

He took a step back and held up both hands. “I like my zither.”

“This is a type of instrument of an ancient design.” Considering I’d first seen one over a thousand years ago, I wasn’t completely lying. “Made by one of the best smiths on this continent.” If I did say so myself. “You know you want to try out the strings to see how it sounds.”

“Sister Linlin,” Little Spring said while gently stopping Xiao Bai from jumping into the pile of newly clean clothes. “Pushing little brother Gold String Delicate Touch might not be the best way to get him to play with you.”

::Brat! You’re enjoying this too much.::

::Never!::

“Fine.” I played a scale on the bass for him, then a bass solo that really pushed the technical limits of this version of the instrument. When I finished showing it off, I placed it back into the space. “Just decide soon. Because if you don’t want to learn, I’ll teach someone else, and they’ll get this impressive bass.”

He swallowed. I could see that I’d tempted him a bit. “I’ll let you know if I change my mind.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. Maybe I was wrong about him and he was too old and stuffy. No, I couldn’t give up just yet. We needed a good musician like him if we were going to get Ghosty out of his coma.

Little Spring handed me several red and gold uniforms that shimmered in the sunlight, then he handed another few sets to Gold String Delicate Touch.

“Why don’t we change and see what we can learn about the sect at the scripture pavilion,” Little Spring suggested.

“Of course, older brother,” Gold String Delicate Touch said before grabbing his clothes and hurrying back into his room.

I nodded to the kid. ::You’re doing a good job staying in character.::

He grinned and walked toward his room. ::Even though I have to call you, little martial sister?::

I scowled. ::You call me that in private and I’ll put you through the next level of hell training. If you think last time was hard, you’ll wish I’d go that easy on you.::

He tripped a little, then rushed into his room.

***

I finished placing the last flag of a simple security formation while standing on top of our courtyard’s wall. It would let me know if anyone entered without our permission.

Gold String Delicate Touch returned, wearing a red and gold uniform that matched mine. Obviously, I wore mine better.

“Fairy Linlin,” he said, “You know formations?”

“Who hasn’t picked up a thing or two?” I glanced down at him. “If you want to stay alive, don’t enter my room.”

He nodded.

As I jumped down, Little Spring walked over wearing his uniform. Xiao Bai excitedly dove into his arms as if he knew we were about to explore a new place.

[Insert Image]

I pulled out my cheap flying sword. “Let’s go!”

Gold String threw down a very old flying calligraphy brush that grew large enough to step on. It really appeared awkward to use. Then again, stepping on a sharp sword to fly in the air didn’t look comfortable either.

Once we were in the air looking down on the outer sect, it didn’t feel as dark and ominous as it had in the twilight. Thousands of buildings sprawled out over large foothills. The tallest one had the multi-story lesser scripture pavilion.

It didn’t take long for us to set down in front of the old woman in Golden Core who guarded the pavilion’s entrance. We showed her our jade passes.

She frowned. “You can look at anything on the first floor, but you need a thousand contribution points to enter the levels above that.”

Fuck. With her guarding this place, I wouldn’t be able to steal shit. At least not without some major preparations. Since we might only stay a month, earning the points to collect all the poison books would be prohibitively time-consuming.

Little Spring bowed and stepped inside, followed by Gold String Delicate Touch.

When I didn’t enter, she frowned down at me.

“Senior, do you have a copy of the sect’s rules?”

She sighed and pulled out a thin manual from her ring. It was tattered and had a few suspicious reddish-black stains on it.

I stopped myself from automatically using the cleaning technique on it and forced myself to grab the thin book. I quickly thumbed through it, memorizing each line.

“Bold of you to step out of your courtyard without knowing the rules.”

I shrugged. “I can take anything the outer sect throws at me.”

“Hah!” she said, expressing her disbelief.

I discovered that killing wasn’t permitted unless during duels. But those could only take place in a specific dueling area.

Of course, fighting was allowed anywhere. Pure-fucking-chaos. But it explained why a Golden Core cultivator guarded a lesser pavilion. She was here to kick anyone out who tried to fuck with the sect’s precious manuals.

I froze when I saw the thing I really wanted to know. There, at the end of the page, as if damning me, it stated that seniority would be given based on a disciple’s master, then realm, and after that, it would be decided on who entered the sect first rather than age.

Motherfuckers.

I handed the manual back and tried really hard to use the cleaning technique on just my hands. It took a lot of restraint on my part since the floor obviously hadn’t been cleaned in a few days.

Clenching my now clean hand into a fist, I entered the pavilion. The first thing I looked at was the books on Demonic Musicians. If I was going to mentor some kids in the Dao of Rock, I needed to know what they were learning first. It couldn’t be the normal four arts techniques — Zither, Go, Calligraphy, and Painting.

Four arts cultivation was similar to the way of the sword. Those who practiced each art cultivated by improving their techniques and coming closer to the heavenly concept of the four arts. They could even gain the approval of the heavens in the form of an epiphany.

What I had to do was find what was different about these Demonic Musicians. Were they even close to a zither player?

After flipping through a few basic manuals, I quickly learned that the path of a demonic musician was fucking weird.

Traditionally, the music played by a four arts practitioner could do a variety of things. Healing or harming the soul was its best known use. It was perfect for helping Ghosty. But aside from that, it could affect the mood of the listener, similar to what I did with the Wolf Howl. Those skilled enough could even send a musical Qi attack that could cut an enemy down. The techniques a musical expert could pull off were very versatile. But this Demonic Musician thing was... It was like someone had extracted the part of the four arts that they wanted to focus on and added something allegedly new and powerful. So strong that it was cursed as being demonic by the people that it was used on when it had nothing to do with evil energy at all.

Sadly, these manuals didn’t go into detail about it aside from mentioning that it activated when demonic musicians played together and synced their emotions. I’d have to look into it more when I entered the inner sect. Especially since this might be a lie added to the manual to throw off someone not in the know.

Next, I read through a beginner poisoner manual and a spiritual herb list. There weren’t any new plants I hadn’t heard of already, and the intro was filled with lies and misconceptions about alchemy. Few people would be able to sift the lies from the truth without a great amount of knowledge, which I happened to have.

This just proved that I couldn’t trust the information on demonic musicians. Fuck.

Gold String leaned over, his brow furrowed. “Formations, demonic music, and poison? Aren’t you worried that you’ll pull yourself in too many directions?”

I put the manual back on the shelf. “Everyone needs hobbies.”

“Maybe, but poison is a bit extreme for a hobby.”

I stared into his eyes. “A wise man once said that when you’re in a war, knowing what you’re up against is half the battle.”

“…”

Little Spring spoke up. “That sounds very profound, little sister Linlin.”

I placed my hands behind my back so I wouldn’t be tempted to flick the brat’s glabella. “Senior Joe would be very happy to hear you say that.”

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Author’s Note: Thank you all for reading! You are the best readers a writer could ask for!

This part is extra long at around 2,600 words. It stops in the middle of a scene, but this was the only place I could end it without it being extra weird.

About the thing Lin mentioned about the 13-year-old girl bullies: First of all, if it made any of you uncomfortable, I apologize. I tried to keep it as vague as possible. It is actually a reference to the various different Josei Xianxia/Xuanhuan I’ve read where the author has the 13-16-year-old villainess (most often the MC’s cousin) try to ruin the MC’s reputation. I have seen this happen in more than one story. And when I see it, I often drop that story like a hot potato. Like, the situation is already fucked up, but then if you consider that it’s 13-16-year-old kids doing this shit? No thanks. I didn’t sign up for that level of fucked up.

Of course, I’ve also read shit that is just as bad in Shounen/Seinen Xuanhuan. And I drop those stories just as fast.

Sadly, I can’t un-read it. But it’s also partially my fault for taking a recommendation without checking the tags.

Always check your tags. (IDK,  I wanted to address the fact that sometimes really messed up stuff happens in a Xianxia but maybe I should remove it.)

On health: I think someone mentioned that I would get what my kid had. And I laughed because obviously, my kid caught what I had… I shouldn’t have laughed. I feel myself getting sick again so I pushed to get this part out before it fully hits me. (I hope the chapter is okay and doesn’t feel rushed)

I’m still going to try and get another part out this coming week, though it will definitely be closer to Sunday than Friday.

Someone recommended taking zinc? I’ll try that. I can’t afford to keep being sick. And I want to get you all the content you deserve.

I think we’re all getting sick here because my kid finally started school. He’s getting sick by all the stuff that’s going around that he hasn’t been exposed to much. Of course, it then infects me.

Him starting school was supposed to give me more time to write and edit so I can get more content out to you all (I was trying to make it a surprise but I haven’t succeeded yet). Instead I’ve been struggling to change my sleeping schedule and find myself sleeping during my editing/writing hours because that’s when my body is used to sleeping. I think I’ve had only a few days of uninterrupted sleep in the past 6-7 weeks. Anyone know of an easy way to change your sleep schedule and keep it changed?