Story 10 - The Spy Who Rocked Too Hard (Part 5 🎸) (Patreon)

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The poisoners' trial ended. None of the rogue cultivators managed to create something good enough for the Golden Core judge.

After that, they held a test for Dread Painters. There were only four rogue cultivators who used this unusual cultivation method. They were given twenty minutes to paint a masterpiece that created an illusion of terror in the viewer. It was an interesting, if unorthodox, path toward painting.

One painted a tree that almost seemed to reach out to grab the viewer’s soul but fell short.

Gold String Delicate Touch pointed to the middle painter, who had started with a decent-looking tiger. As he added detail, the painting, that should have appeared to claw at whoever glanced at it, instead it just looked like it was about to cry.

“Poor guy failed at the last moment. No one is scared of a sad tiger.”

The last painter drenched the paper in ink and then tried unsuccessfully to lift some of it using balled pieces of paper. I wasn’t sure what they were trying to do, but I had a feeling that they were just desperate to enter the sect and trying everything they could to get in.

Of course, none of the paintings impressed the sour-faced judge.

Once that trial ended, it was time for the Beast Blood Contractors. Technically, none of these rogues had the unorthodox sect’s cultivation method yet, so they were trying out to eventually become a Beast Blood Contractor. Whatever that meant.

There were around twenty rogue cultivators stepping onto the stage for this trial. Fortunately, most of them had spiritual tools that could store their beasts, so I wasn’t getting randomly mauled.

Little Spring was the last one to go up, but no one paid any attention to him. Since he stood between two massive men and their oversized beasts as he nervously clutched Xiao Bai, it was easy to see how he could disappear in the crowd. He was also the youngest cultivator there.

Of course, he must have used the disguise technique to hide his cultivation, since he was the only one at the peak. Everyone else was either at the bottom or the middle of Foundation Establishment.

But he’d only recently reached that level, so this trial would be good practice for him.

The unorthodox judge stepped forward. He looked down at everyone with a sneer. Considering that rogue cultivators didn’t have a sect they could rely on and rarely had seniors that were willing to help, they tended to be the least powerful cultivators for their realm. Of course, the ones who survived managed to form tricks and habits that made them hard as hell to kill despite their relative weakness.

“It’s getting late and we still have the Demonic Musician trial so, how about we do this — you all fight each other and the last one left standing will get to join the sect.”

The other judges looked at him like they couldn’t believe what he was doing. He shrugged and whispered something to them.

It was probably something like, ‘If a rogue can defeat 20 of their peers, then they deserve to be in the sect.’ Which was fair.

Since I didn’t feel like getting attacked by a bunch of spiritual beasts, I stepped onto my flying sword and flew way the fuck back.

Gold String Delicate Touch followed me. When I glanced at him, he grinned.

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“I don’t want to get blood on my clothes.”

I nodded. That was fair. With all the beasts and cultivators participating, the fight looked like it might need a splash zone. And I didn't trust this unorthodox sect to set up a proper shield since they had no reason to care about these rogue cultivators.

“Since you haven’t gone up, I assume you’re also here for the Demonic Musician trial?”

“You caught me. What instrument do you play?”

“Zither. I had been a four arts cultivator for years but...” He shrugged, obviously not wanting to talk about his past.

Huh. I might have some competition here after all if this guy had been classically trained. “Then, we’ll be competing in the next trial.”

“Maybe.”

A few more beast tamers brought out their beasts. Some had a kind of boar spiritual beast with large tusks and spines along its back that must have been popular in the local area. Two had large bird-type beasts — one hawk and one eagle — that glared at me like they were itching to get away from their masters to attack me.

A very muscular guy had a massive Red Fire Ape. He glared at everyone around him, and a few of the weaker beasts backed up.

Several more brought out snake-type beasts that ranged from white, red-eyed snakes to black serpents with diamond patterns. They towered above their partners and flicked their red tongues.

Then there was Little Spring with his tiny white puppy looking like he would be blown away by a light breeze.

I was suddenly very worried about the kid. Obviously, he could take out one or two of these guys, but twenty-plus their beasts? Even protagonists had their limits.

::If you think you can’t handle it, just quit and hide in the space.::

He scowled but didn’t look for me.

Apparently, everyone else ignored him as a threat as well, since they all started fighting each other.

The whole scene was brutal, with claws and fangs ripping and tearing. Blood spilled from wounds and several coughed up mouthfuls of it. All those powers getting thrown about caused dust to rise. The trial started to look like a cartoon brawl, where everything was hidden by a dirt cloud with arms and animal parts randomly sticking out as it moved across the arena.

As the fight went on, many chose to bow out, preferring life over entering the sect.

Eventually, everyone aside from three people had left: Muscular Fire Ape Guy, Boar Girl, and Little Spring.

Muscular Guy pointed his spear at Boar Girl and spat a mouthful of blood. She smirked back and sent a spiritual fist at him. He slashed at it with a yell. Meanwhile, their beasts butted heads. The ape picked up the boar and threw it at its tamer, who had sidestepped her enemy’s fire blast. With wide eyes, she jumped away from the incoming beast.

The red ape ran after his foe and spat out a massive flame at it, cooking it alive. The whole area ended up smelling like bad bacon.

The woman screamed, tears trailing down her face. As Muscular Guy approached her while readying another attack, she rushed out of the circle, giving up her chance to join the sect.

Shockingly, everyone had ignored Little Spring this entire time. I mean, I know he appeared weak, but it was almost like he’d set up an obfuscation formation or something. Oh! He probably used the disguise technique to hide his presence. No wonder he looked so confident! He was waiting to fight the most worthy enemy.

The Muscular Guy lifted a fist into the air and shouted in triumph. The audience pointed to Little Spring.

“There’s still someone left,” a girl in the crowd helpfully yelled.

He turned towards Little Spring, who held his puppy in one arm and a sword in another.

The man chuckled, then said in a loud voice, “What’s your name, brat?”

I couldn’t hear the kid, but from his lips, I figured he said something like, ‘Verdant Spring. And this is Xiao Bai. And you, fellow Daoist?’

Muscular Guy smirked and pounded his chest. “I’m Li Huo. I don’t feel like killing a child today, so how about you step out of the arena so I don’t have to dirty my hands more?”

Little Spring shook his head and took an awkward fighting stance while still holding onto the puppy. Xiao Bai’s tongue lolled and his tail wagged with excitement. I could see the collar of defensive talismans around the dog’s neck from here.

Li Huo scowled at them, then gestured for his beast to attack. It loped forward on its knuckles and short legs.

“BORK!” Xiao Bai’s bark echoed throughout the arena. The ape must have stepped on something gross because it slipped, overcorrected, wildly flung its arms out, and fell onto its back.

Frankly, if I didn’t know that the puppy was completely mundane, I would believe that its bark caused the beast to freeze in fear, then stumble. But it was most definitely a normal dog. I'd checked! Multiple times!

Ah, fuck. In my haste to prepare, I’d forgotten to tell the kid to avoid showing off our sect’s sword style. It would be pretty obvious where we came from once he used it. Fortunately, he was a step ahead of me. Before I could send him a warning, I noticed that his stance was now reminiscent of a drunkard.

Little Spring darted over to the downed ape. He blocked its flaming breath with a simple but awkward-looking slash of his blade, as if he’d done it on accident. Then he appeared to overextend himself and fall. He caught himself by using his hilt to strike the Red Fire Ape’s temple — its weak point. He’d put in so much strength that he’d knocked it out completely. His attack had also cut a path through the grime beyond the ape’s head, showing just how much power he’d used. The brat made it look mundane, but these were still attacks at the peak of Foundation Establishment. If the beast’s hard skull hadn’t been in the way, he could have torn up the arena floor.

Next, he darted over to Li Huo.

The beast tamer pulled out a spear spirit weapon and swung it at Little Spring’s head. The kid jerked to the side like a drunkard about to fall on his face, avoiding the attack. Then, in an equally awkward form, he stabbed toward the man’s thigh, using just the strength from his body cultivation.

Li Huo must have assumed that he has superior muscles and form because he blocked with his spear, only to get thrown back several feet. His eyes grew wide.

Wait a second, I recognized those movements! This was the awkward fighting style of Drunken Edge. I guess the kid must have spent more time with that sword cultivator than I suspected when he went to practice with Clear Eyes Mad Tongue.

Little Spring and Li Huo exchanged a few more blows.

The earlier fights must have worn Muscular Guy out. His movements slowed down while the kid sped up, despite his technique that made him look like he was a wasted college student on spring break.

The spear came at Little Spring’s head. He dodged to the side, the blade just barely missed cutting his face. The power of that blow cut a path through the blood left on the arena floor, showing how dangerous it would have been if it hit.

He threw Xiao Bai up into the air, came around like he was about to slash the man’s shoulder, and instead punched his diaphragm. This attack used both his body cultivation and the Foundation Establishment version of the muscle enhancement technique, so when it hit, it caused Li Huo to breathe out and his eyes to bulge like he was a goldfish. I was pretty sure he wasn’t expecting that potshot.

The brat bent backward and gently caught the puppy with one hand. Then he fell onto his back, just barely missing the spear thrust from Li Huo.

A few chuckles spread through the crowd. Muscular Guy’s face turned red, and a vein bulged on his forehead.

The kid was absolutely using this guy to practice on. He also looked like he was making a fool out of him.

The spear tip jabbed toward the kid’s heart, but he casually blocked it with one foot. Oh! He was wearing the shoes from his armor set. Then he kicked the spear with his other foot, forcing Li Huo to lift his arms high into the air and take a few steps backward. Little Spring jumped to his feet and sent a slash of sword Qi toward the man’s chest. He wasn’t able to block in time and it created a deep wound. He threw up three mouthfuls of blood.

Several people in the crowd whispered something about him being a genius.

Li Huo must have been beyond pissed off because he took out a healing dan and a red pill and ate them. His cultivation, which had been in the middle of Foundation Establishment, suddenly reached the peak.

Ah, shit. He was using one of those forbidden medicines that were so popular in Xianxia. Getting into the Irrepressible Beast Blood Sect must be very important to this guy or he wouldn’t risk hurting his body and cultivation just to win against Little Spring.

He pulled out two more red apes. These were low rank 2 — so weak they could only be used as a distraction. Finally, he formed a series of hand seals, and his spear burst into flames. Even I felt the heat of that fire. The brat had to feel scorched, being so close to it.

Both beasts charged at Little Spring, loping forward.

The kid frowned and looked like he was about to send Xiao Bai back into the space when the puppy jumped out of his hold.

He reached out. “Xiao Bai! No!”

“BORK!”

The apes slipped on small pools of something gross left over from the brawl and landed face-first on the disgusting arena floor.

I narrowed my eyes at the very normal, mundane dog.

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Author’s Note: Thank you all for reading! You are the best readers a writer could ask for!

As you can probably tell from the fight scene in this chapter I adore the martial arts comedy, Drunken Master (though it has been around 10 years since I last saw it). When I created the character Drunken Edge, his sword style was a bit of a nod to that movie but I always regretted not spending more time on it, so I figured this was a great opportunity to bring it back (Fortunately, Foundation Establishment is still a level above the mundane so I can barely get away with it). I had a ton of fun writing this scene and I hope you enjoyed reading it (though it won’t technically finish until the next part).

So, I am really glad I pushed this chapter till today. Last week was far more stressful than I had initially assumed it would be. I wrote less than I thought I would because of that — only about 7k words. 2k of that was a much-needed update to my outline for story 10. This story has officially ballooned in size but I don’t regret it. I think if I make it too short I won’t be able to write about all the fun things I want to. Or they’d feel too rushed.

Next week’s WIAFTTTTA chapter will be out on the 26th or 27th to give me more time to get a good portion of this story written.

This means that I won’t be posting a Tanking Hits chapter this week either. The next Tanking Hits chapter will probably be out on the 28th or 29th. Thank you all so much for your patience and understanding.