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DR 100 (Patreon)

Published:
2024-01-20 16:52:35
Edited:
2024-04-02 18:07:05
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The Fates

Comments

Daniel Einspanjer

This was a very fun chapter, but it really makes me want to get another four or five chapters to see things come together before summer! I don't suppose threatening to throw money at you would help, would it? ;)

Azrea

So, Lee, I think I figured out what was feeling off about this chapter for me. I’m rereading DR from the beginning because I’m procrastinating, and I just finished chapter 60 where Roman first got some screen time. The two instances feel like they’re written very differently. It’s hard to pin down what exactly the difference is in words but they don’t even feel like the same character. You are the more experienced writer here, I’m sure if you look at them side by side you can more clearly understand what I’m picking up on. And, speaking as someone who really likes your use of italics and who plans to use more of them in my writing, even I think you went a little heavy on them this time. There were a few times where it stood out, like “And by they, he meant the White Fang.” where just italicizing Roman in the next sentence would have worked fine. At the end of the day, it’s stylistic choice, and while I typically like yours I do feel you went a little all in.

Joseph Fera
>>127632308

one of the reasons could just be that writers evolve over time, for instance there's this one guy on FFN that did HP and Naruto fanfics, and his 3rd HP fic is written in a completely different style from his 1st