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MHA 118 (Patreon)

Published:
2024-03-29 15:11:50
Edited:
2024-05-20 20:57:51
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Content

First Jump: The most basic of the basics.

Comments

Zerak

I assume they are in the spirit world or around a spirit at the end.

Zerak

Btw Toph Beifong is not the strongest earth bender. At least not at this time, and won’t be for at least a 2 decades, as King Bumi lives for at least 24 years after the end of Avatar. While she is an amazing bender, and has a unique style (even discounting metal bending) she isn’t the strongest. Anyway the reason I am stating this is not to be one of those “Um, actually” people, but because it comes off as character bias, something I have seen a number of times in your stories. Not sure if this is intentional to show how you would act in such situations, or unintentional. So I thought I would bring it up. I can’t mention another instance off the top of my head (would probably be able to given some time, not at 7am), but I have noticed it all the way back to your Worm fic. Your MC comes off as being very opinionated on some characters or situations as he views them from the lens of his own experience, but the way he goes about it is similar to some of the issues he mentions having with other people and the they act. Something has been bugging me about your writing for a while not but wasn’t sure what it was, I know it had something to do with your MC’s outlook on the world (comes off as very pessimistic and always looking for the hidden agenda people have). This in itself is fine, even if it gets a bit tedious with all the characters having the same personality, as that is kinda of the point of putting the same person in different situations and seeing how it affects their growth. And there in lies the issue, specifically for the MHA character. I don’t feel like their outlook on life is changing with their experience. Sure his actions are changing (being less confident about meddling in canon even if he thinks he is doing good), but his outlook on the world itself is rigid. He comes into avatar with biases on different characters, even though one of the things he doesn’t like is people who are judgmental about things for no reason. In this case Toph in his mind is this apex earth bender, sure she has the talent, and the skills of a master (or almost there at least), but he is placing her on this pedestal in his mind, and whether or not he intends it he is placing great expectations on her, even though he saw that things can change a lot even with little interference. Knowing a setting does make a person have preconceived notions on people. But even if this wasn’t AU (which means Toph for all he knows was replace by a different character, even though that generally isn’t how the company works as she is a target, but there are exceptions and he doesn’t know this) he is type casting people into a mould of what might have been, judging them with actions they have not committed yet, or might never commit. Anyway this comment is stretching a bit long (I tend to go on tangents when sleepy, so let me know if you want to clarify something), but the point is I never see that aspect of your MCs changing. While he hates it when others do it, he is very biased in his own way. Like a teacher who assumes you cheated and is just waiting to catch you based on a character trait about you they assigned in their head like ethnicity or behaviour regardless of fact. I hope this comes off in the spirit it was meant to ( instructive criticism), rather than someone bitching about your writing. I have been feeling less engaged with your writing for a while now (probably around the time your moved from old apartment/house) I just couldn’t put my finger on why, I initially thought it was a drop in quality but on further inspection it has not changed. And sitting in bed unable to sleep made me think of what I just read and it hit me part of what was bothering me. When ever you make a new story we get the factory setting of the MC, which highlights that while the ones further along the line have improved in some areas they have not in others in a way that should have changed in different ways due to experience. A divergence outlook (which outside of their attitudes/outlooks based on their graduation from basic exam doesn’t change much).

Apeljohn

Gah! Gorram cliffhangers! Correction tax: "Somebody decided they wanted him back, and they sent a hundred soldiers to convince him." - missing the "and they failed horribly"

Apeljohn
>>133725074

Bear in mind that this is an SI of a real-life person, and - unless magically fixed by author fiat - deeply-ingrained character traits tend to be a _lot_ less malleable than your typical heroic fantasy would have us believe. Lee has written about his own issues previously: https://forum.questionablequesting.com/threads/leecifers-rants.23200/#post-7148066 So if you're expecting a Man Vs Self story wherein the protagonist fixes all his mental issues in time for tea and crumpets, you're probably going to be disappointed; that would be a fix-fic not a "real" SI. If you're happy reading an imperfect hero trying to make the best of a deeply flawed world - and finding friends and love along the way - you're in the right place.