(TLO) Chapter 147: A Mage Who Talks To Himself (Patreon)

“Do you know why not many priests ever return home?” Jim asked Seth.

They were sitting by the door to a conclave they’d just stepped out of on a brown couch long enough to seat three people. A few moments ago Seth had been within the room protected by the door listening to men he didn’t recognize ask him and a bunch of other adventurers for the reason they did the things they did.

Amongst them were two gold ranks who’d once been silver when the crime had been perpetrated. To watch two men he’d once known to be silver stand with gold adventure cards was a bit of a motivation. It was a reminder that he could get there some day. However, he had to get to silver first.

Seth took his mind from the events of the questioning to answer Jim.

“Some priests get to go home?” he asked.

“Some.” There was a quiet insinuation in Jim’s voice. “But they’re never home for long. No priest gets to go home and stay home.”

“How do you mean?”

And why are we talking about this in the blatant exposure of the adventure hall? One of his minds asked.

He wanted to ask the same thing but knew better. Jim didn’t make such mistakes. If he was seated here, talking about the seminary in broad day light, it meant there was no one of consequence listening. Perhaps there was none capable of listening.

Seth’s shawl still covered a good portion of his face. And while he’d expected an opposition to its presence during the questioning, he was surprised to find no one addressed it. Not those doing the questioning or those being questioned.

“What I mean,” Jim said, “is that some go in search of their family and find them, and some have their families go in search of them and find them. However, regardless of which endeavor takes place, it never lasts. Why? Because the seminary then goes in search of them and finds them. There are no stories of priests reuniting with their family because there are no priests reunited with their family.”

That’s deep, a mind thought.

“So… what you’re saying is I shouldn’t go looking for my family?” Seth asked. “Even if I might’ve been born here.”

Jim nodded once. Through the entire conversation he had not once looked at Seth. He’d simply stared at the blank brown wall opposite them.

Seth kept his face blank as he digested the entire conversation. Something must have changed during the month he was unconscious. It was the only explanation for this conversation. Most likely, it was also the reason he’d been stashed away in the safe house for so long. If not, why would the Reverend be bringing up the idea of him and reuniting with his family when he’d not made a move to insinuate a want for it since his arrival here.

Had someone from house Darnesh come asking questions? He doubted they’d even recognize him if they saw him. His hair wasn’t the same color and neither were his eyes. Still, he was smart enough not to emphasize on this fact.

If Jim wanted to lecture him, he would take the lecture like a child who didn’t know better. After all, his pastoral year was all but finished, which made his punishment given by the adventure society moot.

A suspension from active service except when called upon by the society for a contract specific to the society’s choosing for a time no more than six months was something that would only affect someone who had up to six months left to them. He barely had a month left of his service.

“So what now?” he asked.

Jim still didn’t turn to him. “What do you mean?”

“I have one month left with a punishment of six. What happens if they call for me after a month?”

“You’ll either be dead or a runaway who couldn’t handle the pressure of not knowing.”

“Wouldn’t that affect your reputation in someway?”

“Not really.” There was something nonchalant about Jim’s voice. “I have adventurers die a lot. It’s not that rare. I also have a few runaways every now and then. Mages aren’t as strong and disciplined as they would let the rest of the world think.”

“So I’m going to be a runaway?” Seth asked, unsure.

Jim shrugged. “I could always kill you and present your corpse as evidence. Your choice.”

Seth nodded and returned his attention to the wall in front of them. “I’ll runaway.”

“Good choice.”

They remained seated in silence after the exchange. Jim sat as still as a statue and Seth listened to his minds play games. In one of them, a single mind was given a dot of supremacy—something he still didn’t understand—and was asked to hide it. When it did, the other minds would search for it. It was a strange game to observe, considering it was being played in his head. Often times his minds would go looking for it and never find it. He’d tried to join in the search once and hadn’t the vaguest idea of how to.

When the game finally came to a conclusion with none being able to find it, the mind in question was asked to produce the dot. It did. Apparently, to everyone’s dismay, it hadnt hidden the dot. It had merely kept it to itself. It was the oddest sensation to know his mind had simply held on to something and none of them had been aware. It was odder to know he was playing games with his minds.

He was taking the concept of playing mind games a little too literal.

It was a while before the person he hadn’t known they’d been waiting for arrived. The door to the closed room opened quietly and Lucas stepped out of it with his domineering size.

Today he wore a brown shirt that hugged his body a little too tight and a grey trouser. Across his chest was a leather strap finished with a single shoulder guard carrying a rune Seth didn’t know.

Lucas caught his eyes on it and smiled amiably. “A battle rune,” he said. “Most adventurers with money and years have at least one.”

“Can I have one?” Seth asked for no reason other than a polite continuation of a started conversation.

“When you’re gold and rich,” Lucas answered, then walked to stand in front of Jim.

Jim looked up now that his line of sight was barred and met Lucas’ annoyed gaze.

“Was the verdict to your liking?” Lucas asked.

Jim nodded. “It was acceptable.”

“Acceptable?” Lucas chuckled blandly. “Those men were sent from other branches to foster a ‘fair ruling’ and they simply ran their mouths.” He moved to sit beside Jim and adjusted himself on the long couch until he was comfortable. “We just got two new golds and their trying to punish them with a probatory sentence in a guild of their choosing.”

“It’s a punishment for their actions and a reward for their evolution.”

“They’re just trying to add more golds to any of their branches. If they wanted to train them, Taliser or Jacqueline would be suitable enough.”

“I can understand Taliser, but Jacqueline won’t cut it.”

“Why do you think so? She a powerful gold and a strong one even amongst golds. Maybe even stronger than you.”

“Jacqueline’s too distracting; her students will never learn. And those who actually succeed in not being distracted won’t be able to learn because she’s a poor teacher.”

Lucas stroked his beard in thought. “True. But I’m surprised you didn’t address the part about her being stronger than you.”

Jim looked at him from the corner of his eyes and smiled. “We already know you have no gold that’s stronger than me. And besides, I don’t see why you’re complaining about them trying to take two new golds. You already have more than seventy-two.”

Seth frowned. Where there that many golds in West Blue. Weren’t golds meant to be rare?

“The Houses don’t count,” Lucas disagreed. “All the Houses were once independent adventurers. They don’t understand the first thing about true hierarchy. Apart from you and a handful of them, I can’t count on the others for shit. Actually, I can’t even count on you to listen for shit. You just waltz in here like you own the place and do whatever you want.”

“No. You let me do whatever I want.”

“Says the man who threatened to leave,” Lucas scoffed. “I swear if I’d told the main branch, it would’ve given someone in there an aneurism.”

Jim chuckled. “Those old coots will be fine.”

“And Alfred?”

“Alfred would find it hilarious. Then he’d track me down and hand me my ass.”

“I swear you confuse me, Jim. I don’t get how you’re on laughing terms with the stoic deputy director of the entire adventure society. You even know people in important positions of the hunters’ association.”

“It’s my charming personality,” Jim said as Lucas stood up.

“Well,” Lucas stretched, arms above his head so that he looked even more massive, “I just came to let you know I’ll be sure to handle Oden’s contracts properly. I heard when you guys found him he was evolving, a shame to see he’s still Iron. A shame and a confusing surprise. Anyway, I’ll be sure to give him something befitting of his rank this time.”

“Lest I forget,” he added when he was done stretching, turning his attention to Seth. “I’m really sorry for your loss. You’d been adventuring with the team for quite a while so I’m sure you guys were close. And Tao Mei and Drew really showed promise.” He shook his head solemnly. “A shame. If it’s any consolation, according to the autopsy their deaths were quick and painless. It’s the best you can expect for an adventurer’s end.” The last part was added almost to himself.

With that, he left them.

Seth turned a confused face on Jim.

“I was evolving?”

Jim nodded. “And somehow you failed at that, too.”

As far as replies went, that was one of the Reverend’s most uninterested one. The man could’ve easily been talking about an ant dying on the ground. Yet, somehow he still managed to infuse it with that Reverend’s disappointment Seth was accustomed to receiving from the seminary’s Barons.

……………………………………..

The silence of the world was littered with the trepid after math of chaotic actions. It was more quiet than silent. It was the serenity that followed in the wake of chaos.

Seth sat in it, controlling his breath in careful pants. He breathed fast as he always did but tried not to breath so loudly. Tonight he was tired and worn out. So he sat in his solitude. Alone but not alone.

“I still don’t get it,” he said. “Why do I do better against the monsters of the consequences than reia beasts in the world.”

Is he talking to us? one of his minds wondered. We swear it sounds like his talking to us.

It could be a rhetorical question, another thought.

“It wasn’t rhetorical,” he assured them. “I’m actually quite curious. Every time I’m faced with a consequence I end up killing every last one of them. It doesn’t matter what the place looks like or what the beast is. And I can tell their supposed to be stronger than me, so it’s why I’m smart about it.”

Smart? A mind scoffed.

“Fair enough,” he conceded. “Maybe not smart, but I get the work done. It might cost me, but I get it done.”

Well, that’s easy.

“How?”

In the consequences there’s no escape. You either survive or die. In the real world there’s always the choice of retreat.

“Retreat?”

Yes, like with Nosam’s team. There was the option of retreat.

“We only retreated to prevent more deaths.”

True, but it doesn’t change the fact that the option exists. In the consequences, there’s no place to escape. Sometimes you have where to hide but the monsters will always find you.

It’s kinda creepy when we put it that way, another mind thought.

“But he’s right. They always find me. But let’s assume I’m in a situation where I can’t run and there’s no escape, do you think I’ll be able to achieve what I achieve in every consequence against reia beasts?”

It depends.

“On what?”

In the beginning you only survived because you had to, and it cost you a lot. Now—

Come to think of it, another mind interrupted, the first time you lost your arm during a consequence when you still thought it was real, you handled that quite well. You just accepted that you have one arm and moved on. That’s not natural.

A lot of things about him aren’t natural, the interrupted mind pointed out. He talks to voices in his head and wasn’t confused or surprised when it started. He didn’t even panic.

“We’ve spoken about this already,” Seth sighed. “I had bigger things to worry about. I had just been kidnapped by a priest and was being taken where I didn’t know and trained for reasons I didn’t know.”

You also listen to the voices in your head.

“You guys give good advice… sometimes.”

The fact that you’re making up reasons for your actions shows how odd you are. You’re so odd you no longer realize it, now you think its normal.

True, a mind joined in. Remember how terrified of us he used to be. He was always scared one of us would try and take over.

There was an awkward chuckle followed by an even more awkward silence.

Now he talks with us as if we’re old friends, a mind thought, breaking the silence whose insinuation did not escape Seth’s attention.

“But you’re like old friends,” he pointed out. “Even closer.”

True, a mind answered. We’re you and you talk to us. You’re a mage who talks to himself.

And he doesn’t even have the basic decency to think to us; just walks around like some loon talking to himself, embarrassing us in public. You’re the reason everyone thinks something’s wrong with us.

“Wait. Isn’t the point of this whole argument the fact that something is wrong with us?”

No, it’s that you’re odd, not that something’s wrong with you. Nothing’s wrong with you.

He’s a human with voices in his head, a mind interrupted. Let’s call a core a core and a soul fragment a soul fragment. Something is wrong with him. But that’s not the point of this conversation. The point of this conversation is you’ll only be able to do as well against reia beasts of the real world as you do against monsters of the consequences if you’re willing to sacrifice as much.

“How so?”

You always lose at least a limb during the consequence. You sacrifice everything just to stay alive. At first it was worthy of praise. Now, you do it because you can. Because you know you’ll wake up and still have your limbs. In a world where your limbs won’t grow back, can you make the same sacrifice?

Seth pondered on the question quietly and knew the answer. He wouldn’t. There’d be too much hesitation. He’d second guess himself into a problem. Giving up a limb wasn’t as easy as he made it look during the consequences.

He had his answer now and he didn’t like it. He was the reason he wasn’t good enough yet. He hadnt given his life to being a soul mage.

His breathing was more controlled now and he rubbed his disheveled hair from his face. A few strands fell back shaken from their place by the gentle breeze around him.

Now that he knew the reason he wasn’t as good, all he had to do was rectify it. Unfortunately, it didn’t seem like something easily accomplished.

It was a month since a verdict had been passed on him for his unsanctioned participation in the events of one of the Dead Accords. During the month he hadn’t been offered a contract by the adventure society. A part of him had expected Jim to have him do something, even if it was simple training or errands to run. The man had not. Instead, he’d been confined to his room in the Willow’s Tripe.

And now the day had come.

Jim had brought the conclusion of his pastoral year to his attention. Tomorrow he’d be returning to the seminary. Apparently, he would head to a destination outside West Blue on his own where he would meet a priest he knew. Then the priest would guide him back to the seminary.

Beside him one of his twin blades had half the length of its blade buried inside a tough exoskeleton. It was a hard carapace that gleamed red under the hot rays of the sun. Seth stared up at the bright sky. With all the heat and day light he always expected to find a sun. He never did. Even today, there was none.

He took his shortsword and pulled it free of the carapace. In one swing he rid the blade of the black blood that stained it but didn’t sheathe it. He held it in his hand as he rested his arm on a raised knee. This was the only place where he could really fight using the twin blades. In the last year he’d used it to perfect the weapons. While they still weren’t as strong as the long sword and katana when using [Quick Strike] they were acceptable.

Do you think we should get down from up here? A mind asked.

He shook his head. “Doesn’t matter. This place will be gone soon enough, regardless of what I’m doing.”

Bruised and battered, bleeding from a cut somewhere hidden in his hair that trailed down the side of his face, he sat on top of a mountain of monster corpses and watched the bright world of the consequence slowly fade.

Tonight it had brought him to a scorching hot desert world filled with giant red-carapaced centipedes.