The DOCTOR WHO Rewatch Project - Season 7 and Final Smith Specials (Patreon)

Note: In order to finish the Rewatch Project on time for the new Davies specials, along with having enough time to write the other columns I want to do this month, I’m not going to do a column for every season anymore, but instead two more columns on the Capaldi and Whittaker eras respectively. Don’t worry, I’ll still write about the vast majority of Capaldi episodes and the Whittaker era will have a different subject-based approach. But it’s just more efficient!

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There’s a recent Tik Tok that I’ve been thinking about a lot lately as I’ve been rewatching the show. I’m not going to link because I don’t want to pile on, but it was a young writer, probably in their early 20s and she was talking about how Steven Moffat was their “mortal enemy.” Particularly, they were going after Sherlock and saying mysteries aren’t good if the reader can’t figure them out based on the information planted prior and the show was always having surprises come later. The vast majority of comments were like “uh, that’s what Sherlock’s books do though” and they gave a mush-mouthed response about how that was actually bad, too. And look, I’m not here to get into a nitpicky conversation with a single person’s opinions. Especially because much of this would be fixed with “I prefer” X over Y. But the denial that Y exists or is inherently good / bad is one of those things that shows that a little bit of knowledge is a dangerous thing. Because they’re just a different kind of mystery. And if there is anything I've learned, there’s no hard and fast rules. There are just different ways of skinning the proverbial cat. I mean, even for all my talking about JJ Abrams, I understand implicitly what is compelling about how he tells stories (I’m just diagnosing why the ends come up short).

But with Moffat, I understand that there are certain people who are just allergic to him. And often these people get angry with me as if I’m somehow being hypocritical, given my love of structural screenwriting or how important it is that I think someone doesn’t get too ahead. The simple difference is that Moffat is that even though Moffat stories have the feeling of being ahead of the audience, he’s actually backing up his storytelling with setups and payoffs and emotional fireworks that hit my heart just as much as they hit my brain. And if you look at any real general metric, like say the average rating scores on IMDB, he’s written almost every single episode that’s rated highly. In short, people really, really do connect to his work in a complete and satisfying way. And I think that is really worth both understanding and accepting, even if that’s not your particular flavor.

But this isn’t about the eulogy for The Moffat era (that’s next column). This is about the final phase of the Matt Smith era, which I will say is both an immense beneficiary and an utter victim of “what actually gets focused on.” Because within this season there are three critical junctures. The first is the Ponds’ goodbye. The second is Matt Smiths’ goodbye. And the third is the 50th anniversary special that was going to have the most attention and resources. To the point that I honestly feel like Moffat really worked on those junctures in reverse order, but really wanted to be sure that they delivered… The problem is that with his attention to those things, almost everything else fell by the wayside :(

With that, let’s go right to the episodes to track it all.

The Doctor The Witch and Wardrobe - It’s sort of unfortunate that I can take an episode like this and be like, “yeah it’s solid!” when it would probably be one of the best Christmas specials in the Davies canon? It’s just really hard for Moffat to keep topping himself. Thus, sometimes you just have to be content with a nice strike down the middle of the plate and that’s what this episode is about. It certainly sounds cool though. Because we have a Narnia episode that is less about a war in a fictitious land and more a ticking clock that’s all about proving the limitless nature of a mother’s love. Claire Skinner plays said mom with a kind of hollowed sadness and surefire devotion that works - for it is ultimately about becoming “the mother ship.” And the ending hubby save is played well enough. I just suppose it’s not a great sign when the biggest fun moment for me is when I did the Leo Finger Point Gif when Bill Bailey from Black Books showed up. Still, the most emotionally affecting moment is a character growth one where The Doctor actually shows up at the Ponds for the holiday (mostly to apologize for the death faking) and learns they always set a place for him. But most of all, it’s him knowing he can still cry. It’s a great ending that really elevates this one overall.

Asylum of the Daleks - I think it’s telling that Moffat isn’t really interested in constantly pulling out the plotline of “It’s The Daleks and they’re going to invade again!” and is always trying to find some kind inversion. And here, the idea that The Doctor would have to do a mission for them is actually pretty cool, as is the notion of a planet full of insane Daleks (which I kind of wish there was more exploration of). I think the main problem with the episode is the Amy and Rory divorce plot-line, which isn’t just out of nowhere, but precisely the kind of “fake conflict” thing where it feels both out of character and one that will be easily-resolved with a simple conversation that I do not understand as to why it didn’t come before fifty times. Add in the fact that the divorce is over the third rail of fertility issues (and not even in a way where THEY feel that way) and it just adds up to a bad, bad, bad decision. There were a million ways to do something with them being in a big fight and having a resolution that ties into the story and they are NOT this. But more interesting to the proceedings is the guest star element. Firstly with Dalek Lady played by Anamaria Marinca from 4 months 3 weeks 2 days?!??! That’s wild! But more, it's the introduction of Jenna Coleman as plucky old Oswin Oswald which is the stealthy start to the Clara plot-line and everything going forward (to my delight, I like how much Landon loved her plucky character immediately and had no idea what was coming).

Dinosaurs on a Spaceship - Well, it’s Chibnall time again! And once again we have an episode that shows off exactly why his run with the show is going to be a quiet disaster. Because you can FEEL the overwhelming desire of this episode to be a fun adventure. I mean, it’s Dinosaurs on a Spaceship! Queen Nefertiti is there! Rupert Graves from Sherlock has a big gun! Arthur Weasley is playing Rory’s dad! Argus Filch is the big bad! There’s even two idiot robots voiced by Mitchell and Webb! This episode gets to play with ALL THE TOYS! So you’re sitting there going whoa, this is going big it should be a riot! … And instead it’s mid as fuck.

Because it all comes down to writing. I’m sorry, but it does. Especially in this show. And the thing about cleverness is that it’s a process. It’s not a thing you can present or invoke with texture. It’s something that comes from a clever setup and payoff. And as we’ve established, Chibnall is tragically bad at those basics. Which is why everything comes off one dimensional, as if the characters are coasting off the fun fun wink wink of it all without playing it real. It even uses all the “big fan” mantras with history that kill the modern MCU. Because all the playful banter doesn’t matter because no one is actually fighting over anything, nor is there conflict in most scenes. And it doesn’t matter if you have Mitchell and Webb making jokes if the jokes aren’t actually all that good. Moreover, it’s weird how bad some of the choices are. Like we made it 7 seasons into this show (that kids often watch) without a gross rape threat to show a bad guy is bad, but of course it shows up here. And having Nefertiti fall in love with white gamesman hunter!?!??!! That is like a WHOA of a bad theme choice. Everything about this episode feels like it should sing, but underwhelms Which given what it’s aiming for, is a crime, but a great lesson that you can’t just *declare* that an episode is going to be fun through ambition and tangible details. You actually have to make it so with the fun of the story. The closest it comes thankfully is the quiet ending moment where Rory’s dad just wants to look at earth while eating a workman’ s lunch (which is actually a nice character observation and touch). I just with the rest of the episode even had a drop of that kind of guile.

A Town Called Mercy - Another one of those episodes that should be way more fun than it is? Although this one sort of has the opposite problem where instead of turning into the surface level fun, it becomes a boring meditation on what to do with Space Nazi scientists hiding in Cowboy Argentina or something (which should never be boring). But scenes are long and ponderous and slow, they stop and start, but don’t have much thematic meat to actually chew on once we are past the conceit. But the bigger problem is that our main three really feel out of character? From The Doctor to the Ponds, it just feels erratic. Plus it has a weird random voice over out of nowhere? Plus that’s a faux arc, right? I mean, I would care way more about the turn if the gunslinger was an actual character instead of the boogeyman for most of the episode. Plus having a whole plot-line where you say someone is from a “a genius race” feels a little… phrenology-ish. Honestly the most interesting thing about the episode was that it didn’t look like any of the standing California Western ranches they use for sets, so I learned it was filmed in Alumuria Spain and “much of the episode was filmed in March 2012 in the desert area of Almería, Spain, in Mini Hollywood and Fort Bravo, locations used for many Western-set films.” What? I love famous sets!

The Power of Three - Okay this is probably my favorite Chibnall episode of the run? Not that it’s super great, but it does some good stuff I want to acknowledge. Namely I like a lot of the domestic stuff with the Doctor trying to deal with a life of sitting still. It’s also fun seeing Brian Cox (the physicist, not the actor) pop up to comment. I also like Rory’s dad being back and going all investigator mode. I also think the cube plot more or less works even if the eventual Bad Star Trek-y explanation of why the invasion was so slow doesn’t quite work (also was that girl just like in the hospital for YEARS?! What gives). Plus it’s hard to buy the “humans are great” speeches in 2023. And the thematic “power of three” denouement about their friendship feels a little forced (and weirdly not delivered as a catharsis in the episode). But overall it serves as a nice emotional touchstone before we dive into the big one…

The Angels Take Manhattan - Ah yes, more British actors doing New York accents! Except for Michael McShane of Office Space fame! It’s the rare American actor in Doctor Who! But once again, I really want to congratulate them on all the great location work. It’s solid stuff. As is the River Song Noir book writing elements that play into the fun and games of this, the third part of the Weeping Angel trilogy. Because in the end, it had to be Angels didn’t it? They were so fundamental to Moffat’s era and it just felt right. And in true heartbreaking spirit, the idea of the Ponds being timelocked and cut-off from The Doctor feels worse than any death. Sure, I know some people bump against the “logic” of the statue of Liberty being an Angel, but whatever, we’re in bombast territory. And the episode is certainly going for that.

To me, so much of the big reaction is just a simple fact that the final moments of them getting zapped back come back post “episode solve” and thus feels cruel and sudden and all the things that rankle a caring viewer (as Landon shouted to the screen, “not like thissssss!”). But the shame of it is that it all makes too much sense. Because it was always going to come back to the choice of Rory OR The Doctor. And, of course, in the end it was going to be Rory. And whatever cruelties are felt given such a beautiful balm with that final page - the one the Doctor never wants to read - and all the reasons he knows he finally has to. As far as ending the story of the Ponds, it is stellar. Yes, even though it perhaps stretches on a few episodes too long, that’s actually part of the lesson of the story itself. We try to hold onto things too long and too tightly. And the tighter we squeeze, the more easily they can slip from our fingers, leaving us all alone… Unless someone else comes along… Or back?

Or, well, let’s get into the Clara Era!

THE SNOWMEN - Landon: “Wait, that’s that sexy Dalek!!!!” To which I died laughing. Seriously, Landon calling Clara “Sexy Dalek” is the funniest thing in the world to me and thus we did not stop calling her character that the whole time. Also, it was a genuine relief to be watching this and see that Landon was absolutely loving her character and personality because I guess there’s a weird schism around Clara where some viewers don’t like her? I don’t get it, honestly. She’s funny, witty, plucky, bossy, and I worry any guy who doesn’t like her… um… likes the dynamic where The Doctor is the one being that and the companion tolerates it? I can’t say, but I think she’s really fantastic. And knowing how much Landon liked Jenna Coleman immediately makes this slow reveal of what’s going on with her a delight in the next couple episodes. Because it turns out she’s The Impossible Girl and the new companions going forward!

But here we get the second Christmas special of this “season” and it’s pretty good! The interplay between him and Clara is certainly fun, mostly Coleman is so damn good at being a curious little shit. I love that The Doctor sucks at being Sherlock. I love the Victorian Lizard Lady and her Lesbian Liaison. I love the juxtaposition of Clara’s high / low lifestyle. And I love that Strax is back in full form (with a bit of a retcon) and the gags with the memory worm are perfect (Dan Starkey who plays the role is an absolute treasure). I also find it funny that Richard E Grant is playing the second fiddle villain, but of course that could only be true due to the fact his boss is the voice of the great Ian Mckellan. It’s also setting up the season’s big bad (that they don’t really use enough). But overall, this Christmas episode is a great start for the finish that will come later.

The Bells of Saint John - Ah yes, another technobabble fear mongering plotline about getting uploaded to the internet! SPoooOOOOooooky!!!! I mean, Moffat doesn’t understand what the wifi is or does (Landon kept yelling, “on which servers!?!?!?”). But hey, it’s an Amelia Williams book! That’s neat! Though the name thing always strikes me as a little funny. I mean, you totally get it in the context of her story with Rory and them always being “The Ponds” and happily so, but it is kind of not great that her final point of character growth is taking her husband's last name. Anyway! There’s also a great “Texas Set Switch” oner with them getting on the crashing plane. Meanwhile, the great intelligence is back, but it’s sort of boring. But it doesn’t quite matter because it’s all about getting Modern Clara on board and given that this is the THIRD time we’ve dealt with her, I’d say the show does a fairly decent job at involving her without repeating all the same beats that came in prior episodes... Unfortunately, this is going to be the high point for a lot of their season seven run (at least until it gets to the end). Because we’re about to hit the roughest stretch in the entire show so far…

The Rings of Akhaten - So Moffat has basically admitted that he was MIA for most of these episodes because he was so busy trying to get the season finale / 50th special / Matt Smith goodbye sorted out. And so he trusted everyone else to take the reins and… well, I guess that trust was misplaced! Look, I’m being cheeky, but it’s just proof positive that this is a VERY hard show to write. I mean, almost every single great episode of this show was written by two guys. This episode is fine, it’s just slow and plodding and straight forward. There’s no real reversal. Nor is there really any drama because people just keep begging to not-responding entities. Still, you get to that great “alone just me” speech that you wish was set-up better, but then it actually has a somewhat decent reveal with “the most important leaf in human history” bait and switch at least has the dignity to work pretty good. Thus, this episode falls into that Davies era “mid overall episode, but all's well that ends well” mantra.

Cold War - Fucking Gatiss man. I keep telling you that it all comes down to writing. Because when I describe this episode it SHOULD be so much better. You have a tight, contained sub environment, cold war aesthetics, and an alien killer on the loose! More than that, you have FOUR great character actor guest stars, with David Warner, (Titanic, Tron, so much more), Liam Cunningham (Hunger, The Wind That Shakes the Barley, and the onion knight in Game of Thrones), Tobias Menzie (Brutus on Rome, You Hurt My Feelings, also Game of Thrones), and a young James Orton (Little Women, Happy Valley). And it’d be fun if we got to watch them do something! I genuinely can’t fucking believe how much all four of them are wasted in these rolls. Like, there’s no dynamics, no real arcs or tensions between the characters. I can’t even tell you much about their personalities. They’re just kind of THERE. And by the time there’s a “fun” long conversation about Duran Duran I’m sitting there like “what the fuck is happening?” Because it’s not like the hippy pop loving professor really is a part of the story, is it? I mean it even ruins the submarine setting because you never understand the geography of the space. Heck, the episode even fumbles the basic “mutually assured destruction” theme. Which is all why it’s an episode that I abhor just because of the complete wasted potential and this is middling first draft stuff. It’s times like this that I dislike that Moffatt and Gatiss are such good friends because I feel like Moffat should be RE-WRITING A LOT OF THIS but doesn’t because of said friendship? I don’t know, that’s pure conjecture and probably even irresponsible to say, I just feel like I need some deeper answers as to why this keeps happening.

Hide - My favorite part of this episode was getting to tell Landon all about how Dougray Scott was originally gonna play Wolverine, but then it all went wonky. Anyway, the episode is a little better overall. I like the setting and the early spooky stuff. I also like that the Tardis is always mad at Clara. But after it takes a while to get where it’s going, I do like the reveal of the ghost being a woman slowly running through time in a pocket dimension. From there, I like the rescue scenes. And I especially like the final “monster healing” beat where it takes it back to find its mate. Sometimes things can be nice and quaint! It’s probably my favorite of this back half of one-off episodes!

Journey to the Center of the Tardis - Hoo boy do you want to talk about whiff that should totally not be a whiff. But first off, let’s get to the important thing which is the racist ass subtext of this stuff. Doctor Who isn’t always great at this, but right at the start you’re like “oh neat, they’re finally filling out the ranks with a mostly black guest star cast” and then you see the choices it makes and you’re like “oh, oh noooo.” It’s not just the whole dumb space roughnecks thing, there’s the palpable problem is just how outrageously merciless it feels in the portrayal. I mean the “you’re a robot?” joke??? What even is that? In a show that ALWAYS seems to be about finding layers and addressing humanity within villainy, these characters feel cruel, lazy, and greedy in a way that feels so flippant (and done so with a complete lack of awareness). Which is why when this episode aired they were somehow shocked at the responses calling it racist and wanting some material evidence. But it’s just like “man, you can FEEL it so hard” in this one. And the whole thing is it just distracts from whatever fun adventures Clara could be having within the Tardis. I mean, right when she first starts getting a tour of The Doctor’s past, I”m like yay, more of this! And then it just kind of goes away. That said, I like the ending stuff with the jump and her knowing / not knowing about her impossibility and the way it sets up some stuff later, so we’ll take those fun bits.

The Crimson Horror - I said it before and I’ll say it again. Fucking Gatiss, man. I know some people have said they like this one better than his others, but it just does not land for me. The narrative problem this time is the basic failure to understand what storytelling is REALLY about. I always say that you have to think about a story in terms of “the timing of information” and how you get the details in a certain order in order to make it dramatic. What makes the Moffat episodes so fun is that he’s smashing and deconstructing the conventional order of things, but he’s actually still secretly doing conventional set-ups and payoffs within those smashed chronologies. It’s the entire secret to his success! And this episode feels like a rough and feeble attempt to be playful without understanding the deeper structure of how to pull it off.

For instance, this episode is clearly trying to lay all these intrigue breadcrumbs before it resurrects The Doctor at the 20 minute mark, but I cannot overstate just how much minutes leading up to it are empty garbage, dramatically speaking. We get so much needless information and inversions and a confusing flow of cause and effect. So many things just start falling flat. I mean suddenly Strax isn’t even funny because Gatiss doesn’t get how to do the bravado irony right. You can’t perform the irony. You have to marry the irony in a way where the character doesn’t even see it. And the fact that the great Diana Rigg doesn’t get to start having fun until the end is downright criminal. What also sucks about the writing of episodes in this half of the season is you really see what happens in Matt Smith losing steam and disengaging. Because all his tricks can polish a turd. Also, I don’t like that the Doctor is suddenly just grabbing people and kissing them? And the final scene of the kids coming in is SO shoehorned and weird, given the way the story operated before? Anyway, can you tell I’m getting surly with the back half of this season? It’s so rough that not even Neil Gaiman can solve the next one…

Nightmare in Silver - This proves how hard the show is to write, huh? I mean, Gaiman is one of our great writers and he came into season six and hit a damn homerun with “The Doctor’s Wife.” But here? I don’t even know. I feel like it’s maybe getting saddled with plot duty or figuring out what to do with the kids, but it feels like a truly unfocused hodgepodge of five competing ideas? Kids in an abandoned amusement park. Warwick Davis as an Oz type figure. A Cyber invasion. And the Doctor is suddenly going to war with the bad version within himself. Once again, it’s one of those things that’s fun in theory, but we already saw the way that Two Matt Smiths can fall flat in “The Almost People” last season. And the reason The Doctor is so much fun is because he’s a good foil for regular ass people. Which means he’s actually kind of a bad foil for himself. And the final plot, where the Doctor plays chess against himself, is actually about as entertaining as watching a person, you know, play chess against themselves. Also this is the first episode where the flirtation is so high that I’m like, “hey doctor aren’t you married? What’s going on there these days?” And the final Warwick beats are cute enough, but mostly I’m just thankful we’re FINALLY at the last three episodes. Because if there’s anything it proves how much the show can suffer when Moffat isn’t completely and totally in the driver's seat. And what happens when he’s actually in control…

Because the last three are absolute bangers…

The Name of the Doctor - Right at the opening flash-forward of Clara always being around and saving all The Doctors, Landon was screaming his head off. Because “what kind of idiot steals a broken Tardis” anyway? But almost immediately you get a sense of gravity in this one, too. There’s the opening “conference call” Seance with River meeting Clara and the horror of Jenny seemingly getting murdered which sets the stakes. Plus it’s a great buildup to that little incredible moment where The Doctor hears about Trenzalore and sits on the couch with tears in his eyes, being the most vulnerable we’ve seen him. Because this really puts the situation beyond “danger” and into the realm of immense dread and sadness. For here we finally learn why Trenzalore is the one place he cannot go… because it’s his tomb.

For three seasons now the show has played with this concept of death and cheating death, but in a show about an ageless one - it is of course about how we *struggle* with both larger deaths in the universe along with change itself. And I believe the final three episodes capture all of this in such a succinct and meaningful way. I really liked the great intelligence’s initial set-up, but I do wish they showed up at least once more in the recent string of episodes. It’s still okay, though. However, it is also weird to see The Doctor hiding the fact he’s married from Clara, which feels like weirdly shady behavior during the current state? But at least the show is aware of that, even if they mostly turn it into a joke. Anyway, it makes sense because we’re dealing not with The Doctor’s corpse, but The Doctor’s scar tissue through the universe. And the thing about scars is it’s something you have to make peace with. Whether it’s moving on and dealing with River’s ghost version that’s still in The Library - or with oneself. But when it comes to Clara’s final decision, the soufflé metaphor actually works wonders because “The soufflé isn’t the soufflé, the soufflé is the recipe.” And Clara ends up jumping into the Doctor’s timeline and we finally understand why she’s popped up everywhere. And now The Doctor has to save her in return.

But really, it turns out the season finale and this journey into the past is about setting up a certain other character… That would be The War Doctor and the reveal of his secret version of Jon Freaking Hurt. Talk about a moment that can make your hair stand on edge. And it is, of course, everything that can propel us going into…

THE DAY OF THE DOCTOR - So one of the things I love about this rewatch project is that I don’t tell Landon what’s coming. I barely even prep him! Earlier in the season, I’m like “oh there’s these specials at the end, kind of like with the Davies” and he knew we were getting close to the end for Smith. He also knew that at some point in the show there was a Doctor team up of some sort. But when those credits come up and he sees David Tennant and Billie Piper getting credited? He started losing his mind. And rightfully so! Because this episode is a gosh damn delight. Seriously. It’s absolutely one of my favorite episodes of Doctor Who and I can’t believe how fun it is, how smart it is, how dark it is, how emotional it is, and ultimately, how meaningful it is. I seriously can’t imagine a better way of tackling ALL of this subject material.

Let’s start with the team-up dynamics. It’s just an utter joy getting to see Tennant back and full-tilt having fun again. It’s easy to think of both he and Smith’s performances as having certain goofy similarities (and they do, which the show uses at beautiful points), but you also see the roundness and presence that Tennant brings here. So as similar as they, they also distinctly feel like the cocky human and the gonzo alien, as different as can be. Do I think the episode could have been just as excellent if Eccelston came back and the button pushing was about him? Of course I do! But if that can’t be, they rightly pivot the choice here and one of the coups of the special is how the two of them represent the modern incarnation of the show and Hurt as “The War Doctor” gets to represent the old-fashioned fogies that came before, thus creating a fun meta conversation between fans of Old Who and New Who (and that conversation is shown as being both loving and hilarious). But of course the dynamics are about something much deeper, starting with the way they play into the episode’s conceit.

“How many children were on Gallifrey that day?

It’s the only important question, is there? For a man who swore to do no harm,tThe idea that this is all one big meditation on how the most rueful decision The Doctor ever made - that would be time-locking and effectively killing all the Time Lords - is a brilliant one. And you get to see the way this horrific notion creates ripples throughout all of them. Tennant is the man who can’t stop thinking about it. And Smith is the man always running from it. And the way this story plays out, building to the moment of them pressing the button together? All before more importantly, realizing the way to reconcile a world where it never happened in the first place? It’s just enthralling. And capping it with the 13 Tardises showing up to do the final calculation is some downright electric shit (I’ve never been so excited by the site of Capaldi’s eyebrows… Okay maybe I have SHUT UP). But the fact it’s not just a fun nice retcon that happens, but a potentially powerful one hits at the grand purpose of finally “going home” and the story that will come after?

It’s all pretty amazing for an episode that largely feels like dessert. Because almost all of my most favorite things are little hilarious lines (which will all make the quotes section), but it goes beyond the dialogue, too. There’s the disintegrating door / Clara opening it gag. The cool 3D painting. Osgood’s scarf. Billie Piper gets to be weird, but also beautifully playing “the conscience” of the greatest weapon in the universe. Even the great Tom Baker himself shows up and just kills it in a scene as “The Curator” (which feels like a lovely retirement job for The Doctor, not that he’ll ever have one). PS - If you have never seen “the Night of the Doctor,” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-U3jrS-uhuo&ab_channel=BBC it’s a six minute lead-in short that gives the great Paul McGann a little victory lap and sets up the continuity with Hurt. But even in six minutes McGann is absolutely fantastic in something that shows perhaps what missed of what could have been a fun little era. But it all serves as a fun little connector.

But all in all, it was Landon who I think summed up the way the episode threads the needle beautifully by saying, “imagine what fan service could be if it was all written this good.” And I think that nails it. Because Fan Service doesn’t feel “out of the way” when they’re doing it in the service of a deeper story. And great writing makes anything that would be fan service, just poignant writing instead. That’s something that should always be the lesson, no?. Gallifrey Falls No More, indeed.

The Time of the Doctor - In truth, I feel like this episode mostly suffers in comparison to the perfect 50th episode that comes just before it. But it is also an odd, arhythmic, and relatively sad watch. Because seeing The Doctor get detached and trapped in the town called Christmas for 300 years has a genuinely maudlin, or at least bittersweet effect. But it is at least one that is deeply intended and (on second watch) hit me a lot more poignantly. Particularly the notion of the man who always ran and darted about, finally finding a place to stand still. And in the end, of course Moffat would do something timey-wimey with Smith, just in the opposite way he always has. He’s stuck the long way around, living life in order, and in one place… Perhaps it also feels like an odd beat coming back to Trenzalore so quickly, but I suppose that’s the nature of the beast (though I think I’m more genuinely thrown by how much late-period Smith would just go around kissing people a lot… it feels weird). But whatever you could dwell on, all the Smith-era callbacks come fast and furious, whether it’s The Silence (and some final clarifications over who was doing what and why) or the crack in time coming back (“I was sure I wasn’t done with you yet”). But I guess my last appraisal comes down to an odd thing for me…

I’m not sure that I love the final speech? Don’t get me wrong, it’s good! But it’s an odd thing that I don’t think lands entirely and it is neither the actor, writer, or director’s fault? It’s that a few bits feel over-written, or over-staged, or over-drawn-out. Almost like it’s a graduation speech trying to find the line that will have the most impact and keeps doubling down on a new attempt, gesture, or moment (though “I will remember every line of this” hits the most when it considers Smith as the actor in the role). But whatever I argue, it is all genuinely sweet and earnest. Though perhaps it’s hard when my favorite moment of the whole thing is actually the gag where he just changes super suddenly and then there’s Capaldi’s gaunt old face stuck there, staring at Clara buy-eyed and confused. It’s just such a monster way to go out and I adore the decision completely. With that, let’s go to all the quotes!

TOP 15 LANDON QUOTES

15. The conceit drops in “The Doctor The Witch and Wardrobe”

Landon: “oh my god, it’s fucking Narnia, thats why they called it that shit!”

Me: “Yes, Landon”

14. The War Doctor: “how many children were on Gallifrey that day?”

Landon: “Oofa doofa”

13. *When the season 7 finale starts and things get going*

Landon: “THAT POPPED OFF HARDER THAN THE LAST SEVERAL HOURS”

12. *When The Doctor tries to keep busy doing chores while staying at The Pond’s house during “The Power of Three”*

Landon “I think The Doctor might also have ADHD”

11. *We see a cool alien world in the Rings episode*

Me: “It’s like the star wars cantina!”

Landon :“where they play Jizz!”

10. *The Cybermen appear*

Landon: “Oh no, it’s the fourth best Doctor Who villain”

9. *When The Doctor is given the Sheriff badge*

Landon: “Oh no, he’s a cop.”

8. *When it’s clear that Clara will be the new companion*

“Look out Rory and Amy, Sexy Dalek is coming for that number one companion spot!”

7. *I forget which scene, but he was reacting to a how a character was gonna respond*

Landon: “Does she get madge?! And sadge!?!?”

Me: “Landon, you need to talk using real words for feelings.”

6. *Clara’s mom describing how she met her dad…*

Her: “He followed me home.”

Landon: “Oh no!”

5. *When Clara dies in The Snowmen again*

Landon: ’WHAT!? SHE WAS THE BEST COMPANION THO”

4. *Tennant and Smith start interacting on screen*

Landon: “This is MY avengers”

3. *Right after the heartbreaking “Angels in Manhattan” goodbye episode*

Landon: “Dear Mister Moffat, I just disagree. You made a good episode. But you should have made a bad episode if it means they get to live and hang out every once and awhile I would prefer this please thank you.”

2. *The great Richard E. Grant appears on screen*

Landon: “It’s Christopher Walken!”

Me, laughing so hard: “That’s not Christopher Walken.”

Landon: “It’s not?!!? Who do I mean?”

Me: “We watched a movie with him fairly recently”

Landon: “Is it … rippard poopus?”

*me, dying*

Landon precedes to google for 10 minutes trying to find his name and messes up several more people.

Me: “I feel like you have older white guy character actor face blindness, which is fair mind you! But this is hilarious to me.”

Landon: “I still think it’s Christopher Walken.

me: “Christopher Walken would not be in Doctor Who. I mean, he might BE Doctor Who in real life, but not in it.”

1. In that spirt, the big reveal of John Hurt happens.

Me: “That’s right, John Hurt is the doctor!”

Landon: “Wow! …….. Who’s John Hurt?”

Me: “LANDON, HE’S ONE OF OUR FINEST ACTORS”

THE SEASON’S BEST 27 JOKES / QUOTES!

27. The War Doctor: You’re my future selves?

The Doctor and Ten: Yes!

The War Doctor: Am I having a mid-life crisis?

26. Madge: Why are you doing all this?

The Doctor: I’m just trying to take care of things. I’m the caretaker.

Madge: That’s not what caretakers do.

The Doctor: Then why are they called caretakers?

25. The Doctor: It all just disappears, doesn’t it? Everything you are, gone in moment. Like breath on a mirror. Any moment now, he’s a coming.

Clara: Who’s coming?

The Doctor: The Doctor.

24. Madge: I don’t know why I keep shouting at them.

The Doctor: Because every time you see them happy you remember how sad they’re going to be. And it breaks your heart. Because what’s the point in them being happy now if they’re going to be sad later. The answer is, of course, because they are going to be sad later.

23. The Doctor: Got a bit clinchy in the middle there, but it sort of worked out in the end. The story of my life.

22. Captain Latimer: Children are not really my area of expertise.

Clara: They are, however, your children.

21. The Doctor: It’s called the TARDIS. It can travel anywhere in time and space. And it’s mine.

Clara: But it’s… Look at it, it’s…

The Doctor: Go on, say it. Most people do. {she runs around it}

Clara: …smaller on the outside.

The Doctor: Okay. That is a first.

20. *Ten thinks he sees Zygon in Bunny form*

Ten: Oh, very clever. Whatever you’ve got planned, forget it. I’m the Doctor. I’m nine hundred and four years old. I’m from the planet Gallifrey in the constellation of Kasterborous. I’m am the Oncoming Storm. The Bringer of Darkness. And you are basically just a rabbit, aren’t you? Okay, carry on. Just a general… warning.

19. Vastra: Where’s Strax got to?

Jenny: The usual. It’s his weekend off.

Vastra: I wish he’d never discovered that place.

*Hard cut to: “Glasgow” where he is fighting for fun*

18. Ten: Do you think the real Queen of England would just decide to share her throne with any old handsome bloke in a tight suit. Just ’cause he’s got amazing hair. And a nice horse. Oh… it was the horse.

*Realizes he accepted her marriage proposal*

Ten: I’m going to be king! Run!

17. Clara: Someday you could just walk past a fez.

The Doctor: Never gonna happen.

16. The War Doctor: Are you capable of speaking without flapping your hands about?

The Doctor: Yes. No.

15. *Seeing Ten’s TARDIS design*

The War Doctor: You let this place go a bit.

The Doctor: Ah, it’s his grunge phase. He grows out of it.

14. The Doctor: The trouble with Daleks is it takes so long to say anything. Probably die of boredom before they shoot me.

13. Clara: We’ve got enough warriors. Any old idiot can be a hero.

The Doctor: Then what do I do?

Clara: What you’ve always done. Be a doctor.

12. Vastra: Good evening. I’m a lizard woman from the dawn of time. And this is my wife.

11. The Doctor: You were the Doctor on the day it wasn’t possible to get it right.

Ten: But this time…

The Doctor: You don’t have to do it alone.

The War Doctor: Thank you.

10. The Doctor: Clara sometimes asks me if I dream. “Of course I dream”, I tell her. “Everybody dreams”. “But what do you dream about?,” she’ll ask. “The same thing everybody dreams about,” I tell her. “I dream about where I’m going.” She always laughs at that. “But you’re not going anywhere, you’re just wandering about.” That’s not true. Not anymore. I have a new destination. My journey is the same as yours, the same as anyone’s. It’s taken me so many years, so many lifetimes, but at last I know where I’m going. Where I’ve always been going. Home. The long way around.

9. Lily: What’s happening?

The Doctor: No idea. Do what I do: hold tight and pretend it’s a plan.

8. *On picking Companions*

The Doctor: “I never know why, I only know who.

7. The Doctor: We all change when you think about it. We’re all different all through our lives. And that’s okay, that’s good. You’ve got to keeping moving. As long as you remember all the people that you used to be. I will not forget one line of this, not one day. I swear. I will always remember when the Doctor was me.

6. The War Doctor: No. Great men are forged in fire. It is the privilege of lesser men to light the flame. Whatever the cost.

5. Clara: Run you clever boy, and remember me.

4. *Strax is sent to grab the memory-erasing worm*

The Doctor: Where is it?

Strax: Where’s what, sir?

The Doctor: I sent you to get the memory worm.

Strax: Did you? When? Who’s he? What are we doing here? Look! It’s been snowing!

The Doctor: You didn’t use the gauntlets, did you?

Strax: Why would I need the gauntlets?

*Moments later when he touches the worm again beneath the carriage*

Strax: “Sir, emergency! I think I’ve been run over by a cab!”

3. *River is finally ready to let her saved version go and pass on*

The Doctor: Goodbye sweetie.

2. The War Doctor: I have no desire to survive this.

Rose: Then that’s your punishment. If you do this—if you kill them all—then that’s the consequence. You live.

1. Afterword by Amelia Williams: Hello, old friend. And here we are. You and me, on the last page. By the time you read these words, Rory and I will be long gone. So know that we lived well and were very happy. And above all else, know that we will love you always. Sometimes I do worry about you though. I think once we’re gone you won’t be coming back here for awhile. And you might be alone. Which you should never be. Don’t be alone, Doctor. And do one more thing for me. There’s a little girl waiting in a garden. She’s going to wait a long while, so she’s going to need a lot of hope. Go to her. Tell her a story. Tell her that if she’s patient, the days are coming that she’ll never forget. Tell her she’ll go to see and fight pirates. She’ll fall in love with a man who’ll wait two thousand years to keep her safe. Tell her she’ll give hope to the greatest painter who ever lived. And save a whale in outer space. Tell her, this is the story of Amelia Pond. And this is how it ends.

LAST LOOKS

So there is the Matt Smith Era! I have to say that on rewatch it all benefited so much from watching in rapid succession. Not just because the not-as-good episodes feel like mere blips, but because you can see the condensed arcs so much more clearly, whether it be the villain parts or the great ballad of River Song. But there are two interesting things that season 7 also starts to make clear for me. The first is that when it comes to the Moffat era, things really suffer when he’s not the one driving, but spring to life the second he is. And the second, which was not my feeling at the time, nor even at the start of this rewatch project… But I think Ten edges Eleven for me? Look, there’s nothing like the joys of Smith’s dizzying highs and he can actually go emotional really well when the story calls for it. But there’s just something more round to Tennant’s overall performance. Something so assured and clean and tapping into so much dexterity. And I genuinely wasn’t expecting to come to that conclusion? But I’m still so glad for this grounding action of watching both doctors’ runs so close together. Of anything, that’s been the greatest gift of all.

But with that, it’s time to start a journey with another Doctor…

<3HULK