Joyfully Re-Traversing THE OREGON TRAIL (Remake 2022) (Patreon)

“What the fuck is dice-en-tar-y?”

I will never forget Brian C. saying those words in front of our teacher (whose name I literally can’t remember but I can see her face). Because what is now a well-established meme was once a valid, popular reaction among wayward pre-teens. But there was a ripe context for this scenario. Because back in the dinosaur days we used to have a class called “computer.” That’s it. It was just called computer. And it was where you would learn how to use these new fangled personal machines, but it was public school which often meant sharing one with a partner or two. Keep in mind, at this point a lot of families in my town still didn’t have one. And if you did, there was one family computer that was shared. But it also all felt like the technology of it all moved so quickly. Families going from Apple IIEs to PCs and Windows was really just this breadth of a couple years. Game-wise, it felt like this age of discovery and possibility (and soon DOOM would seemingly change everything). But in this vaguely academic setting of computer class? You were confined to education games, which often involved typing and trivia and what not… but then there was The Oregon Trail. And the reason it was loved and has somehow survived to have a real lasting cultural effect?

It’s because The Oregon Trail had no business going that fucking hard.

It’s difficult to explain how much this game felt like a weird leap forward? Its mechanics were simple, but balanced. It was fraught with tension and luck. And it taught us the unfortunate truth that being a banker and having extra money affords you much more “luck” or at least ability to pay for services over all the handy skills in the world. And it was this 25 minute journey you could fit into the end of class after you “finished” your work. Needless to say, we played it all the time. And because kids would be kids, it meant constantly naming your characters Poop or Fart and making as many jokes as possible. And then when Oregon Trail II came out later in 1995? Even though we were older it was, damn. Just DAMN. But by the third edition everyone had stopped having “computer class” because everyone kind of just had computers and were used to them more or less. I specifically had moved onto the bigger world of fifth generation consoles and thus, for many of us, The Oregon Trail lived on in memory alone. I know there’s been subsequent editions, along with board and card games that fed into the nostalgia, but I can’t speak to the quality of any of those... I just know I was scrolling about and the second I saw a little trailer on twitter for a new modern remake of it on Nintendo Switch!?!?!  (it was apparently on Apple Arcade at the end of last year), I just bought it instantly without thinking.

It’s funny. I know we live in a hyper-nostalgia culture, but I think one of the key things about nostalgia is that it has to be unexpected. You’re standing there and suddenly a sight, a sound, or a smell that triggers a sudden memory that comes flushing back and suddenly makes things feel alive with purpose (I’m thinking of echoes of The Lanyard by Billy Collins, which if you’ve never heard, please watch). And by the alternative, when nostalgia is directly sought out on purpose? Eh, I’m not sure. I know it’s a sincere act of want, but it often feels like an impossible task one sets for oneself. As nice as it can feel, it’s an attempt to purposefully seek out that which can never truly fill the hole it seemingly did that first time around. A law of diminishing returns. And perhaps its part of why our culture gets stuck in the constant, addictive nature of recycling things like Star Wars. It’s the  ouroboros. Because the power of nostalgia can run out quickly. And in the end, you are left with the quality of the thing itself.

Luckily, the quality of The Oregon Trail (2022) is really quite something. It takes the simple mechanics of the original game - pace, hunger, wagon maintenance, and disease & injuries - and finds new ways to play into those same mechanics. Namely how those things now play into your players stat bars of: health, morale, stamina, and hygiene. What’s nice is that the learning curve actually isn’t that steep. You jump in, you see bars go down, you figure out which items help (new clothes for hygiene, coffee for stamina, etc), and you figure out which options work best for you. Like the original game, you really can learn on the fly. And if it sounds complicated, it’s really simple and balanced. Believe me, I’ve played a loooooot of game systems like this and it’s both impactful, but not horribly punishing. You start by trying your options and looking for luck I.E. “okay, I’ll need food here, etc, gotta get some money, gotta save these pelts for caulking the wagon, etc.” And what’s exciting is how there’s far more variation with personality types in your players that help each of them in one way, but always hurt in another (for example, hedonists will sometimes just grab more of your food and it's like DAMN, ABIGAIL SLOW DOWN). Plus there just isn’t one trail, but you get to do the California trail too! As part of the Gold Rush! Plus, there’s a whole bunch of side quests and alternative scenarios like “bitter winter” along with more scenic and serene animal tours!

If this sounds like this tiny essay has just devolved into an advertisement it’s just because I’m honestly delighted by the fun of the whole thing. They took the essence of the game and evolved it in a way that makes it so much more compelling, yet keeps the gameplay more or less similar. It works so well and I’m already itching to go back for more trips (especially now that I leveled up and have access to hunting knives).

But the real fun of it is the history going to bigger depths. Again, it’s ostensibly an educational game. And the fact this has all the real rivers / towns / stopovers and brings alive my ole ‘ history brain like nothing else. But I honestly love this kind of shit in general. It’s the same reason I’m obsessed with the dumb Assassin Creed games. I just love running around ancient locations and reading all the background history of stuff. It’s like time traveling for me. So get ready for the pulse pounding excitement of carving your name in Independence Rock! I know the educational bent of all this sounds silly, but I think we really do absorb this kind of stuff. It’s the reason playing the Civilization games when I was young taught me all about irrigation systems, siege tactics, and the leaders of the ancient world. And as I joked at the top, it’s where we all likely first heard the word dysentery for likely the first time. But it really is really important to talk about though.

Because while I imagine a lot of teachers hand-waved the meaning of the disease away, it’s really infectious diarrhea that was so bad you would poop so freaking much that you’d essentially die of lack of food / water retention, among other complications. Sounds hilarious! The whole problem is that a lot of people still die of it. Like, over a million people worldwide, mostly young children. Why? How!??! Well, the main cause is unsafe drinking water. And the genuine problem is there’s no charity to donate to because there’s no singular way to combat the issue. It’s an integrated problem that relies on four other bigger world problems and I was first made aware of it when reading about food sustainability. But there’s a lot of understanding about dysentery that you can get here: https://www.defeatdd.org/  I know this mini-essay was a silly way to build up to a plea for awareness, but sometimes that’s how it all works.

And educational games understand that better than anyone.

<3HULK