RECAPS of STAR WARS: EPISODE III AND A HALF, uh, I mean OBI-WAN KENOBI! (Patreon)

And just like that, we’re back with some weekly recapping! Huzzuh! It was genuinely nice to have more space to write the bigger pieces, but a part of me did miss  the regular conversation and evolving dialogue with a given show, so I’m just gonna try and keep it balanced going forward. Which means I’ll probably keep things as light and loosey-goosey as possible, too if that’s okay. As for Obi Wan Kenobi, today’s recap will cover both Part I and Part II.

Like before, we’re gonna go subject by subject.

Recappin’ The Quels - I don’t know why, but there was something so funny to me about recapping the entirety of the prequels for a TV show? Like, I’ve gone on such a monumental life arc with Star Wars. From the original trilogy, through the excitement for / then response to the prequels, to the irony-laden prequel memes phase, to the establishment of the cartoon shows, and now the completely hilarious thing of seeing them as part of this hagiography of lore (and it’s honestly been a long, long time since I’ve watched one of them). But this is the way of things, no? And now that it’s seventeen years later (!!!) there’s just this entirely new dialogue surrounding them. More than that, it turns out that the long recap is necessary because as much as I dumbly thought this would be an Obi Wan standalone adventure, it is instead…

Star Wars: Episode 3.5 - They just couldn’t help themselves, could they? Just like they did with The Mandalorian and Boba Fett, they just couldn’t help themselves by dipping back into the Skywalker Saga of it all. Like, based on casting I knew Vader was gonna show up at some point. But it’s all just gonna be MORE THIS, isn’t it? It’s all just gonna come in again and again and again? I’m sorry. I’m going to need to write it out like this with exasperation… because I do not like, nor want a low-rent EPISODE 3.5 on principle. I really do not… I mean Kennedy just talked about moving beyond all this shit, but they’re never, ever going to, it’s the ouroboros again and GAH… Blurgh … breathe… Okay now that that existential dread is out of my system I can move onto talking about the specifics.

Baby Leia - Yes, I’m calling her that because this is a decision that feels half informed by the Baby Yoda of it all. Like, did they REALLY feel like they had to Silas Marner-ize their story yet again? It's just… like, let’s not even get into how bizarre it is in retconning the original trilogy. So she had an adventure with Obi-Wan when she was ten!?!?? There’s that iconic line, “years ago, helped my father in the clone wars,” and I just… Like the worst part is at first, I thought it was going to be this cute little aside with Leia and her adorable shoes… but she’s the macguffin. And I think that tells you everything about the space of star wars at the moment… But let’s go back to the start.

The Teaser - Here’s my 10 million dollar question: why do we have that scene of temple escape at the beginning? Let’s somehow ignore the whole thing of showing someone attacking kids in school THIS FUCKING WEEK. Let me ask, does it establish any characters in a way we can track? As a writer you are taught that every moment is precious, that you have to use these things as opportunities to tell laser focused and powerful stories of clear intent. Maybe it will somehow come back, but after two episodes is there any sign as to why in a specific character sense? Or does it just feel like CONNECTIVE LORE and WORLD BUILDING, even though it’s copying a scene from a movie we’ve already seen and shown in recap? Because it was wholly without dramatic purpose, or even specific emphasis. And that’s when I knew we were in trouble immediately. I kept thinking “please tell me this has anything to do with anything.” Even the direction felt like it was trying to update something in moving to the shaky camera, but everything about the long-shot felt like a miscalculation, the very problems of “one take” thinking I talk about in my One Cut of the Dead piece. I know this may seem pedantic, but I’m trying to make a really, really sincere point of how it failed to focus. And that’s part of a larger lack of focus. You have to understand that this kind of sloppiness is just flabbergasting to me. We are talking about incredibly expensive, high end entertainment for a premiere “network” and I’m watching something that would have been weeded out of a freshman year screenwriting class. I am going to harp on this. Every moment is an opportunity. If you waste your first one, you’re going to waste a lot more.

The Sister Brothers - So I never watched any of Rebels or Clone Wars. I will not google them and instead watch it cold and judge the merits of what I am being presented accordingly. To that, my note was, “who are these dweebs?” And while we’re on the topic, wasn’t the whole point of these shows to tell new stories? And instead they’re just catering back to references of other television shows that a lot of us haven’t seen? It’s the ouroboros.

Tatooine Lewks - I will never like seeing a washed out, light tatooine in this damn Disney+ shows. It’s supposed to be the warm yellows and reds and dusky purple hues of sunset. This one looks more washed out than ever before. To be frank, it’s garbage and I hate it. But this perhaps has to do with…

The Direction - Oof, you ever want to root desperately for someone and / or something, but the results just don’t come through? The first season of Mando had some genuine efforts and Boba, while often sloppy, at least had some chaotic energy. But this one feels really, really stilted, no? But honestly I’m worried so much of this has to do with a larger thing beyond the control of one person. I’m talking about…

The Volume Industrial Crisis - So I need to do a bigger column and interview people who work closer with the tech, but “The Volume” is the name for that cool stage thingy they’ve been using since the first Mandalorian season to project digital effects live during filming. It’s basically modern fancy matte painting! And at first it seemed like a great new tool to tell stories and help world’s feel lived in. But, of course, it quickly became a lazy crutch that was overused. Why? Because it’s much, much cheaper. But the worst thing is the way it limits where you put the camera. Not just because the perpendicular nature of the volume screen flattens most images, but also because you mostly have to keep the horizon at same spot and can’t get higher or lower in the z axis, nor further in close, nor use a lot of movement shots because it “shows the seams” of the volume stage. Thus, the complete loss of interesting photography. The Batman was pretty good at hiding its use in certain sequences, but I’ve mostly come to dread its use.

But here’s the thing. Even if something is clunky, I can still ride with the intent if I think the writing of a given piece is solid. And… gulp…

The Writing - I honestly don’t have time to break it down thoroughly, but it’s not great, bob. For starters, let me remind you for the five billionth time that “the refusal of the call”  in actual Star Wars only takes 38 seconds of screen time. But here in Part I? It takes 50 minutes for Obi Wan to be like oh, okay, guess I’ll try to help or something. To be clear, I get what they’re going for, but there’s something so poorly dramatized about this. For one, they do not establish him STRUGGLING to using his powers, nor his fear and inability to. Like it just ASSUMES you get it. But this not only fails to give us a clear baseline expectation, it thus totally messes up the moments that are supposed to be cathartic later (like his force save of Leia). Moreover, Safdie’s entire subplot as the Jedi who is strung up has no bearing on him because he’s STILL SAYING NO even when Bail Organa shows up. Besides, it's far more interesting if Obi-Wan actually tries and FAILS to help him, which not only furthers his reasons to fear, but properly sets up stakes for what is to come. So yeah what’s so difficult about almost everything in this episode is this is the lack of purpose. There’s no psychological evolution or story beats being sequenced here. It’s all texture.

And it reminds me specifically of the times in writing rooms where people are having all these extensive conversations about what’s going on with the interiority of a character and then they think the audience can just magically perceive those conversations when the scenes get written, regardless of what’s in them. The audience does not live inside your brain. They need dramatic sequencing to properly paint the journey. But the sequencing here is absolutely bananas and doing the show no favors.

But is there any big bright spot in all of this?

Acting and a Moment!- Ewan McGregor a stupidly good actor. He automatically elevates almost any scene he’s in, especially with the slim pickings here. But what’s weird is that Hollywood is also a small town and I kind of have some loaded feelings that actually go in two different directions. And the truth is it’s weird to know this entire show wouldn’t even exist without elements of life that aren’t for us to go into, but they’re real… They also shouldn’t matter. Because the thing is - like I talked about in my Top Gun: Maverick column https://www.patreon.com/posts/66993053 - is that Legacy Sequel projects needs to invent a vital reason for their own existence.

And thus far, the only real thing that really hit me is the dramatic moment that Obi-Wan learns that Anakin is still alive. Do I have logical questions? Like, how does that inquisitor know that he’s Anakin and isn’t that against canon or whatever? Who knows! Like everything about this show, they just shoved it in there. But I’ll admit that the effect in that moment was good… I just wish that everything else didn’t make me feel more cynical.

I don’t like feeling cynical.

RANDOM NOTES!

-Sand whale harvesting into big ass tuna steaks? I actually kinda fucking love this little beat? I also like how Obi’s like, well, guess I need a job!

-There’s something about a gonk droid being a clock puncher that feels right.

-I actually really liked Safdie’s performance in Licorice Pizza, but I feel like whatever’s happening here isn’t doing the story a lot of favors.

-Re: Obi Wan’s cooking - I’m always kinda fascinated by Star Wars food.

-Am I wrong, or has a Jawa ever been subtitled before? Also, ever since Amy Sedaris’s throwaway joke I can’t help but look at every Jawa and think: “I wonder if that is the one she fucked…. hmmmmm.”

-Joel Edgerton seems bored.

-But I did like the detail where Owen fights over Luke being trained. One of the few moments of motivated dramatic clarity… on his side at least. Somehow, Obi Wan’s all over the place.

-Sung Kang rules and I’m so mad I can’t see his handsome face.

-Jimmy Smits is always, always, always good. He’s SAVING these scenes.

-Saying it now, but Dexter Jettster BETTER show up in this fucking series.

-Re: more on direction - In the kidnapping scene they’re sooooo not hiding the fact that the kid can’t outrun them. You gotta shoot that way, way different to make it work.

-Wait, does every droid have little razor blades to cut stuff?

-There’s something so damn funny about seeing “Flea” as a star wars credit.

-“Help a veteran get a warm meal?” The moment with Morrison playing the clone trooper is… kinda amazing? Like it gets at this really good idea and the way Obi Wan reacts feels real to it is really genuine. But like so many of these shows, I worry it’s going to be just a touch of more “world building” and not integrated more into the story. I keep talking about opportunities, but I wish it was ALL more cohesive.

-Why does everyone / everything on this new planet look exactly like Cyberpunk 2077?

-Kumail! Aw, I’m glad he gets to have fun here. I’m biased obviously, but I like that the scenes actually have some dynamic range to them? There’s something that’s lively here.

-It’s so weird to see Obi Wan fist fighting like a chump? Like, again, I wish they properly set the baseline of what’s going on with his relationship to the force so we can get SOME ESTABLISHED STAKES and motivations, but dammit, it’s gonna be wishy washy. Speaking of which…

-Everything about Obi Wan’s dialogue and interactions with Baby Leia is cyclical, repetitive and desperately searching for some kind of arc. As a result, they all just tread water. This does not bode well in the slightest.

-Looking at Baby Leia I also realized I have no idea how old a 10 year old is supposed to look? I would have said six? Seven? Even though I knew the timeline? Weird.

-Re: direction and edit - I feel like the inquisitor lady was supposed to be closing in on that tense sequence, but, uh, I guess she was parkouring for 7 minutes as other people had scenes? Look, this isn’t Spielberg fudging with time and space to create MORE tension, this is just letting the air out of things and again, it does not bode well. But this also brings us to the last point which is…

-Inquisitor Reva - So I looked up her character’s name, but it felt important. Because like a lot of things, there’s something clearly essential about her character’s role here - something that I want to like - and I can see the seams of intention. On paper, she’s a looked down upon figure from the gutter and wants to rise above station and willing to break the “rules” even within the Empire to do so… but its sequencing in terms of drama is done so haphazardly. It’s all weirdly filled in, bips and bops, and the result is action that feels unmotivated and (somewhat) explained later, though there’s lots of half-measure to it… So, to quote some random space opera…

I’ve got a bad feeling about this.

<3HULK