The Wins, Losses, and Lessons of SPIDER-MAN: NO WAY HOME [Spoilers] (Patreon)

Again, spoilers throughout the essay.

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I have absolutely no idea how to write about this movie.

At least not in terms of a coherent essay. Because usually when I sit down I can at least sketch out “a take,” it’s something that taps into informative story principles. Or it’s an examination of what the film is going for and judging whether or not this was the best way to succeed. But increasingly with the MCU? So much of that conventional appraisal goes out the window. We’re close to 30 movies now, full of interlocking set-ups. Things paying off movies from the diaspora of fractured content. Like, hey, did you watch Netflix’s Daredevil? You’ll get more out of this movie if you did! Moreover, here with No Way Home we have what is essentially a big meta conversation with over 20 years of Spider-Man movies. And if you like those movies, you will definitely like this movie. After all, it is utterly designed to be liked. It is charming at every step, full of humor and constant allusion for the in-crowd. It even aspires for big, dramatic things and exceeds at the surface level with them. So in the end? I honestly liked it way more than I thought I would. Sure, it doesn’t entirely land a lot of the ideas and muddles some others (which I’ll talk about), but it’s at least better framed than the two predecessors. I can even confidently say it’s a movie about what we gain and what we lose, all in the pursuit of second chances.

So in that spirit, I’m going to go subject by subject, framing around how much I liked it by “winners and losers” Even though I absolutely hate the word “loser” and the movie has far more winners (also there’s a lot of win / losses). It’s just a framing device and I don’t want it to read that harshly. Because I understand this film is all about how much mileage you get out of certain beats or characters. So like you probably have, these were my personal feelings….

BIGGEST WINNER - Andrew Garfield?!?! - For a movie about second chances, I guess it makes sense that he was the one that got the most redemption? I know those two TASM films have their fans, but for me, whatever good in them was buried underneath some really gross thematic stuff from the Orci wheelhouse, along with a ton of contradictory characterization (I don’t think Marc Webb ever had a real story sense if I’m being honest). But Garfield has always been an amazing actor and it’s easy to see how he got surrounded by some confused instincts. But here? This is honestly the best his character has ever been written. And it really shows off the thing that makes him so good: his vulnerability. He’s one of those actors who always looks like he’s about to cry, but in this really affecting way. There’s a sweet softness to his performance here and he genuinely gets some big moments. Plus, he’s kind of a natural at the MCU style of humor. Of all the feelings I had walking away, this was honestly the biggest thing for me. It’s a nice little catharsis to the way those movies were hampered - and I think, a nice capper to those who liked them and felt like they were cut short. I’m genuinely happy for him.

BIG WINNER - Meta Story Appraisal - I can’t imagine trying to tell someone that the way to get the biggest clap in your given movie and being like, “see you have a moment where your main hero character is diving after to save his girlfriend, but he gets hit, so the him from another universe, who is still traumatized by not being able to save a girlfriend a very similar fall, this time makes the catch and reflects a huge second chance!” And it WORKS. Like, the audience went fucking nuts. Because to their in-crowd brain, it’s obvious. But it’s operating on this meta size and scale that kinda breaks your brain. But it’s virtually why 9 million gags work in this movie… Which is why I also can’t imagine how people would react if they haven’t seen all the other stuff… which means…

LOSER - Conventional Story Appraisal - I have friend who is so excited for to see this movie, but off hand they mentioned they still hadn’t seen Spider-man 3 or TASM 2 and figured they didn’t need to. And suddenly I was like, uhhhhhhhhh, somehow a lot weirdly comes from those movies? Especially given that it’s where those characters were left off? And again, the biggest clap is the aforementioned Gwen Stacy death invoking moment. Conventionality loses. Everything about this is shorthand. But if you have the shorthand? Your catharsis is real. We all get mileage out of different things. And so much comes down to the charms of…

WINNER - Just Spider Guys Bein’ Dudes - Once our three Parker boys come together, the movie really hits this run where it’s ice cream, ice cream, ice cream! But it really works. Everything about their dialogue, the riffing rhythm, their similarities, and their differences? It really is fun. And they even get a nice little A > B story of going from action incongruity to kick-ass unity. Seriously, the point where they learn to fight together got ROARS from the audience. And all the chill beats before / during the battle were lovely, too. Seriously, the end hug? It really fucking works. It’s open and earnest and vulnerable and meta as fuck. I mean, we talk about the MCU being centered around fun catharsis, and there has been something this cathartically fun since the first Avengers, right? I honestly think it was handled better than everyone showing up through the portals in Endgame.

WINNER - Tobey’s Victory Lap - To be frank, I think it’s kind of telling how much Tobey’s demeanor doesn’t translate as well without Raimi’s direction. Because his camera always had this way of podding and provoking his wide-eyed, gee whiz reactions (because Raimi is the best). But here he’s probably the least at ease with the “hang out in long shots and do goofy quips” thing that these movies now just do ad nauseam. But it’s a testament to Tobey’s work that all of HIS movies provided the emotional architecture for everything we see here. Hell, the Raimi villains are the entire backbone of the story. As for MacGuire himself, it also reminds you how long it's been since he’s been around? He was never one of those “pack the schedule with movies” guys, but he really has kinda low-key retired from acting over the last decade. Which isn’t to say he’s still uninvolved! He’s actually producing a lot of indie stuff (and still playing a shit load of poker). But it’s great to see him show up and not only get to be funny, but play the old dog of the group. The back-cracking joke is even a great reference to his IRL injury in the Raimi movies. Where Garfield was the nice surprise, Tobey was the old dependable. Just as I imagined he’d be.

WINNER / LOSER - The Box Office - On one hand, it’s important we got packed theaters for that whole “preserving movie theaters as an industry” thing, but looking at it more closely: 1) it’s still about the haves and have nots of superhero movies versus everything else and 2) the timing couldn’t be worse with the Omicron spike… Like people are already talking about this being super-spreader shit and… gah… outside of box office dumbness, I’m kinda doing my best to not feel hopeless about the holidays. I haven’t seen my family in three years and it’s looking… blurgh.

LOSER - Dr. Strange’s Characterization - I really want to take a second to mention how weird his involvement is in this movie? I mean I get how he instigates the plot and the fight between him and Parker is nifty enough, especially as it makes sense for second act sidelining. But it’s really weird how uninvolved he seems in that first act? Like his whole “you handle this” attitude seems so weird and not a proper tune-up (especially in a movie that has people constantly on the sidelines). Moreover, the final moment between him and Peter doesn’t exactly show that there’s been an arc or any kind of relationship has really happened at all? It’s all a matter of tracking really, in the sense that I feel like his behavior is so oriented around what the movie theoretically needs instead of trackable behavior for his own motives and psychology. It’s really weird. And it’s something that could have worked so, so much better.

WINNER - Willem Defoe - God, he’s a national treasure. And proof pudding of how much these MCU movies need a villain playing things BIG. It’s not just the over the top nature of how hard he goes in his villainous scenes, it’s also about how sincere he plays in his sweet scenes where the “real” Norman pops through from time to time. He just so commits, it’s incredible. And having a genuine mustache-twirler is so much fun because it makes the rooting interests in this film so much more involving (it’s weird how bad the MCU has been at this).

WINNER / LOSER - Alfred Molina - He’s always great, of course. And his curing turn is the heart of the second act, but for that very reason I wanted a littttttttle more of his turn / team up in the final act? It’s like we use so much with him and then he kind of disappears a little too much for my liking.

WINNER / LOSER - Electro - I’m always rooting for Jamie Foxx. It’s clear he wanted to come back with a whole new vibe than what happened in TASM2. So he gets a new suit and a new look, but I STILL feel like they never quite figured out how to use him right? Like he gets a few lines that land, but something about his characterization still feels half-baked to me. As an actor, he’s so outrageously good and its a shame they never figured out how to lock in and really give him some material to chew on.

WINNER - The Also Rans - I had no idea that Rhys Ifans and Thomas Hayden Church had their number called for this one! It was a genuine surprise! And they got their moments and their laughs! That’s really nice! But in a movie as utterly packed as this one, it’s understandable why others got more spotlight time. Still, it was just a nice thing.

WINNER - Jon Watts - I never saw Watts’s first feature Cop Car, but I think it’s interesting that he’s kind of ended up being “The Guy” in the MCU. I mean, I imagine it’s a nice gig to get and they seem to have a good working relationship. But he strikes as the most MCU-ish director they have the stable. Which is sort of a mixed designation. Because his work has this capacity to be very funny and light on its feet. There’s an “aw, shucks” casualness to the way he’ll fling you into scenes and even has an eye for farce (the opening scene with MJ in the house is a good example). But throughout all three films there’s been this whole “waaaaaaaaait a minute,” realizationif you actually start doing the math when it comes to plot, characterization, and theme. These movies have all really been charming, but there’s a lot that gets lost when it comes to…

LOSER - Cause and Effect - I think this is one of the things I struggle most with in the movie. It has this charm and energy that is undeniable, but there’s so much about it where we just hurl ourselves into the next scene and I’m like “oh, okay, I guess we’re doing this now?” And I keep looking for the connections. Like, so much of the opening scene with the government threats gets immediately sidelined, Happy gets threatened and then it (and he pretty much) completely disappears from the movie. Even a lot of the big emotional stuff feels like it gets inherited from the previous movies instead of built from in-narrative causation here. Again, I get the film’s aim is to charm, but I keep feeling like I’m asking “wait, what about X?” And the movie really, really doesn’t want me to ask. But the direction stuff goes deeper…

LOSER - Action Feeling Dramatic - I recently went back and watched the famous train battle with Doc Ock from Spider-Man 2 and it’s amazing how well it holds up. And how much it also puts the MCU’s entire action approach into question. To be clear, they’re REALLY good at the written character beats in action, especially fun ones. But when it comes to the beat to beat intensity of the action itself? It feels so undramatic by comparison. Like, the scene on the bridge is a perfect example of this. The camera always hangs back and shows you a lot, but instead of using that to highlight performance or motivated camera movement, it just makes it feel weirdly more inert. Plus, it rarely cuts on the moments of impact. So you just “see” all the detail of the animation, but don’t feel the moments of connection. I think there was ONE shot in the goblin hallway fight (where he slams through the ground) that really had some oomph in the emphasis? But for every one of those, there’s so many chaotic shots where they don’t even know where to draw your eye. I mean, the shot where Aunt May gets hit by Goblin’s glider is downright criminal in terms of how muddy the emphasis is? That being said, I also like how they do some stuff. Like…

WINNER - MJ Web Slinging Shots - I’ve really always liked the go-pro-y style shots and the approach to the scenes where MJ is getting slung along with Peter. It’s just the first time like I really feel they capture the nauseating chaos of what that would actually feel like and the terror of standing there at big heights. She plays those moments really well and I like having an audience surrogate really capture that feeling!

WINNER / LOSER - Jamie Foxx’s Calling Out Diversity - At the end of the movie Foxx gets to express disappointment that Spider-Man (being a kid from Queens) is white Andrew Garflied and Foxx gets to muse and hope that there’s probably a black Spider-man somewhere out there. Ya know, like Miles! Which is why the audience clapped… But you can equally frame this as such a small half-measure. The idea that diversity could be out there! But not in this movie! To compare, what I loved about Spider-Verse is that it was a movie that had such immediacy in saying that Spider-Man can be anyone. You can be Black, female, an anime girl, or even a cartoon pig! And it’s kind of amazing that the MCU was like “wow people, really like this multi-verse team-up thing, so here’s three very White Peter Parkers!” Look, given the history of the live action movies, I get it. I really do. And I get why they kept it contained to that. But it also captures the way that they’ve been thinking for sooooo long now and always centering on that white male characterization first and foremost. Like how nuclear does it go if Emma Stone shows up as Spider-Gwen? What if it introduces MCU Miles? I know that’s out there, but you already have the universe cracking open at the end, what’s REALLY stopping you in a movie that’s ALREADY so filled with ice cream? Doesn’t the MCU do this all the time? Why are some included and not others? So yeah, I can’t help but think that line is a half-measure. Especially when the amazing alternative already exists.

LOSER - J.K. Simmons - They bring back the funniest character in ALL these movies and… that’s all he got to do? There isn’t even a scene BETWEEN him and Peter? We don’t even get to see him ham it up? BLURGH.

LOSER - Happy Hogan - I’m realizing I have no idea what Happy’s deal is / status at the moment. What’s his role with Stark? How much money does he have at the moment? How the hell is Peter not getting taken care of in this situation? Why does he disappear for most of the movie? The answer is his presence complicates things BECAUSE he can help so clearly, which brings us to complex things I’ll get to in a bit. For now, let’s talk…

WINNER - The Intent of Second Chances - So I *more or less* like the idea of what this movie is aiming for thematically. Because it gets to the notion that all these Villains had real pathos and misgivings and maybe, just maybe, there’s hope for helping them. There’s a real generosity of spirit and getting to the Spider-Man ethos with that. It’s just… kind of muddy, execution wise. Because it’s more cause and effect stuff. Like May’s words have weight, but there’s so many back and forths from their decisions that I’m not sure they’re really hanging the right hats on how the cost impacts various ways of dealing with that? Moreover, I’m having trouble with a bit of the language they use…

LOSER - The Theme of “Curing” - Blurf, it’s one of those hard things to talk about because the problem with all these Villains is that they’re dealing with metaphors for various mental health / psychological problems. When it comes to taking away their powers? It’s more like they’re de-weaponizing / de-fanging, which isn’t the same thing as “curing.” And the kinds of things they’re doing are more about healing mental wounds of stuff that runs deeper. Goblin / Ock’s parallels are pretty stark expressions of Bi-Polar disease / schizophrenia (in a limited way, of course). And Electro is literally a case of toxic ego that comes with gaining power, etc. However while thinly expressed, the other movies actually got into the psychology at play. And here, the humanity of those villainous instincts gets lost in the “we can invent a doohicky that I slap on you and makes everything good.” I dunno, feels kinda like a tech-bro-y approach? But this implies they’d really think about the troubling stuff like that and… well, hey remember when Parker used war drones to spy on his would-be GF and then just gave them to some guy?… *audible cough*

WINNER / LOSER - Aunt May Getting Uncle Ben’d - I've been going back and forth on this one, too. Because the moment has genuine weight to it. And I honestly didn’t see it coming, either. But given everything we’ve seen in these movies she’s the biggest, most devastating candidate to be Peter’s “tragic loss.” I even like the slowness of the reveal (though the aftermath hangs on two beats too long). And as clunk-heavy as it may seem, I also like the way that they shared stories of loss in the healing (though, once again, it was a scene more gutting in Spider-Verse). But what really hurts it is how much it gets muddied in the cause and effect of “what has Peter done wrong here, exactly?” Like I know the origin of the wish, but so often he’s doing what May wants and there’s so many back and forths of positive / negative results to her wishes that it’s like… what are we really saying here? Because the examples for Tobey and Garfield are so clear cut by comparison. It’s like they can’t have it TOTALLY be Holland’s fault? I mean, one of the most important scenes in the old Spider-Man is when Tobey tells Aunt May about how he caused Uncle Ben to die and she pulls her hand away. There’s just this devastation to it and there’s something so much more lacking here. They can talk about “with great power comes great responsibility” all they want, but if they’re not dramatizing it as clearly, then it’s not going to land as hard. They always have to reassure the answer rather than having him discover it on his own.

LOSER - MJ Character Continuity? - Zendaya is always so damn good in these movies, but I’m realizing that her character kind of opened up sooooo much here? I get that it’s because they’re now in a relationship, but the overall difference is pretty striking? I dunno, mostly curious what others thought.

LOSER - Ned’s Magic Dreams - So… Ned had his chance to be a wizard and that’s gone now? I’m kind of really unclear about what happened and what didn’t and what they’re left with now. But that kind of murkiness hits one of the bigger problems with the movie…

BIGGER LOSER - Memory Shenanigans - Of all the tropes in popular movie-going, it’s memory shenanigans that audiences hate the most. For one, there’s no real parallel to their own experiences. Worse, it’s not cathartic. But worser, it undoes the work of everything we’ve seen. It takes what has been earned through all the power of the story you’ve seen, and even if WE remember it, it  still radically separates us from the emotional connection with the character. It divorces us from the idea that this all meant all something and created growth. Worse, like they do with Past Gamora in Endgame, it nullifies the loss and not just puts in a replacement, but a replacement we then have to “catch up,” by going through the exact same beats again. It’s just this outrageous cheat that NEVER sits right with audiences. And yet writers can’t help but do it when they feel like they’re in a jam? Or when they feel like there has to be some kind of bigger lesson about loss and having the consequence of Peter’s initial wish still hit. But the question is why? What are they really after with this choice? Well, that brings us to…

BIGGEST LOSER - The Resonance of The Zero Sum Game - At the end of No Way Home, we are essentially, and finally, putting “Spider-man wear he should be.” Because he’s traditionally a character defined by loneliness, by being poor, by doing everything he can to have a normal life and yet suffering under the burdens of heroism. And finally, we’re realizing that version of the character (at least in promise). It just took an entire trilogy of movies to get there? Blurf. It’s funny, someone talking about the recent Mortal Kombat movie and noted how many modern Hollywood IP entries, ostensibly from huge generation fans, are content to make a story that just builds up to one you actually want to see. And we just spent three movies to finally go “see, now he’s the Spider-Man you recognize!” And to do so, essentially they had to wish away all the last few movies in order to make it happen… And it makes me feel troubled.

Wait, haven’t I been wishing for that since these movies started? Haven’t I been talking about how important it is to have that characterization? Yup. But the “wishing it all away” still turns it all into a zero sum game. For better or worse, this is the version of the story they’ve been telling. And it should feel like an earnest turn in THAT story. Like if you go in a different direction? If it’s about taking up the mantle of Baby Iron-Man, then go for it. But if you go this way you gotta find a satisfying way to make that compelling instead of easy. I mean, There’s all sorts of ways to disassemble the Stark infrastructure, make him poor, or separate him from MJ and Ned, that would feel like real payoffs to this story. But they’ve just set up SO many safeguards around him. So they just wished it all away. And if we haven’t REALLY wished away, if it’s just part of the endless fake-outs of MCU dramatic modus operandi… then what was the point of this particular movie?

The point was, of course, the joy of the lovely team-ups. To have these three generations of Spidey fight their own little Sinister Six (or was it five?) and that’s… the point. Luckily, the joy of that point is undeniable. Hell, I can’t remember the last movie I saw where the audience clapped fifteen times. And for so many, I imagine the joy of this experience utterly trumps whatever lingering questions I have about these so-called “losses” I’ve talked about. Even as I write all this, please know that I genuinely like the movie more than I thought I would. But there’s just that one last lingering thought that sits there as we are amazed at what the MCU pulled off and can’t imagine how this movie could work any better…

Well, Spider-Verse did all of this 5000 times better.

It told a contained story that is rousing from start to finish, full of pitch-perfect characterization, growth, psychology, and thrilling catharsis. It’s a work of singular bliss. To go into “the mom test,” my mom could watch Spider-Verse and be thrilled by it. If my mom tried to watch this she’d likely be confused. But I get it. This is just what the MCU does. They’ve made the world's largest in-crowd movies. And it keeps working because they’ve been doing the endless endgame for awhile now, always moving the proverbial ball under shells and leaving me with lots of lingering questions - and worse, perhaps no real point in trying to answer them. Because it will go on. And even though it always plasters a smile on my face, even though I cannot argue with the success of their approach, I just can’t help but sit back and always look at the existential question of “could it be even better?” Could the simplest of adherences make it better than ice cream? That’s all this really is.

Because No Way Home is a fucking damn delight, but it’s amazing how much of it is cribbing and standing on the shoulders of giants, while often dismissing and honoring itself in equal measure. And when left to think about it, I wonder, as I always do, how much of this will really stick in terms of the evolution of the character and help tell a true-blue story when all is said and done. But it’s never designed to be all said and done, is it? It will just keep going on. So as I always seem to say with these films…

“We’ll see.”

<3HULK