Episode 607: The Face of Depression (Patreon)

Every season of BoJack Horseman has “that” episode. 

Maybe even two or three. I remember the feeling when I first watched “The Telescope,” in season one. Where you come to the realization that oh, this show is going to be devastatingly real, isn’t it? And they’ve been reaching those deeply emotional heights every season since. From the daring, conceit driven episodes like the the silent, undersea ennui of “Fish Out of Water,” to the complete rambling eulogy of “Free Churro,” to the emotional gut-punch fake-out of “Ruthie.” And of course, there are ways that every season turns inescapably dark in the penultimate episode, often cresting into the final moments of consequence. As if right on cue, we finally get our “that” episode for our rehab-centric sixth season. But while one might expect a lot of dourness from an episode literally called “The Face of Depression,” we instead get a somber, beautiful episode that both explores the different forms of depression, along with the quiet forms of catharsis that can come in acknowledging them.

It’s funny, watching this episode I was struck with a memory from some years ago. It was of a younger person recommending me this show and they kept talking about how “fucked up” the show was, as it this audacious piece of shock art or something. But that’s never once felt like the modus operandi of the show. It’s not really trying to go to dark places just to go there, it instead understands how life simply ends up in dark places. It’s about the all to common regularities of of depression, alcoholism, avoidance, anger, lying, toxicity, and unfair systems. And the show feels so honest in the way they see them plainly, without mitigation. It’s not about shock, it’s really more telling these stories in a sobering fashion. And it’s no accident that word “sobering,” applies again and again throughout this show. And it is the literal reality of what BoJack is facing now. 

He returns to his house. It’s exactly as he left it, but now sixth months of darkness and decay has crept inside it. Worse, everywhere he looks he sees the ghosts of his past and his most brutal moments of alcoholism… It’s safe to say BoJack doesn’t want to be there. So he goes to his first AA meeting, but there’s only another ghost. It’s Sharona, the very hairdresser he got fired. He tries to speak to her, but she doesn’t even give him the time of day. This is the painful reality of trying to “live with it.”

But BoJack keeps trying. He gets lunch with Todd and they seem to have a pleasant time (I may have mentioned, but I’ve been rewatching season one and seeing the difference in how he treats him is so remarkable). But near the end Todd asks, “what are you going to do? Just keep getting lunch with your friends?” Which, oof. But also it invites BoJack to verbalize all he’s feeling. He doesn’t want to be there right now. So he’s going to go on a little journey…

ILLINOIS

Diane is in denial about her depression. The mess, the pressure of the book, the inactivity. It’s all compounding and paralyzing her. Guy does his best to help, but she casts aside his worries, saying “I don’t have depression.” But it turns out her therapist has literally told Diane she has depression. They even prescribed medication. But again, Diane is in denial and making excuses. She talks about how trying prozac in college didn’t work, how she couldn’t even livejournal about Dawsons Creek! All the familiar worries about medication come flooding out about gaining weight or getting bad skin. Guy really tries to help and he means it in his whole heart. After all, he’s the kind of guy who can’t even leave on on an ironic joke, he has to be earnest and loving in his goodbye. But it’s so hard for Diane to internalize it in her current depressive state. So she does the easiest thing to do in the world, which is nothing.

Then BoJack arrives. Diane won’t let him in because she doesn’t want him to see the mess inside (how’s that for an apt metaphor), so they get sandwiches. She tells him everything is great! So great that when he asks if he can crash she screams “no!” defensively. Which of course means, it’s time to go inside. He sees the mess and finally she can acknowledge what she’s feeling. A lot of people think depression just means “feeling sad” all the time, but really the sadness is inherent and concrete. It’s part of a much more unemotional, disconnected, uncaring state. One where the sadness is pushing down all other feelings and you don’t have wants and happiness. It’s a constant denial of your whole emotional self. But Diane has always been very good at this. She talks about her life, how she’s constantly flipping things over, finding nothings, but secretly wanting SOMETHING, but having no idea how to find it it or hold. The loaded answer is of course in her evasion with Guy’s intimacy, specifically her fear and sense of doom that he’ll just get tired of “the real” her.

Then BoJack does something remarkable: he continues to give good advice. But largely because he’s just reflecting his own internal journey and his stand off with Doctor Champ, who said “you ruin everything, that’s what you are.” But for the first time, BoJack realizes it’s crap. That’s not who he is. It’s just something he believed it for so long and it infected every moment of his anxious-angry-ambivalent-insecure attachment style. He doesn’t have to be that way. And that’s when he reveals why he came here… To thank Diane for believing in him when others didn’t. And though he doesn’t have to say it, it’s clear he believes in her now. To help the next morning, he gets up and cleans her apartment for her. It’s a simple gesture, one that can never repay what she has done for him. But sometimes people just need a little boost. He then puts on a nice cold weather scarf and leaves for his next location…

CONNECTICUT

BoJack's arrival is greeted by none other than Hollyhocks running up with the most adorable hug. But the short notice means BoJack’s also infringing on her plans and her best friend Tawny. Naturally, he finds himself embedded in a small spat between the two as they go and listen to terrible music at a college show (Do I hate music?!?). There BoJack learns that Tawny is upset because cancelled all the drama classes because the teacher quit (planting an opportunity for future job), but that’s when their disagreement comes out. It’s a small matter where Tawny didn’t show up for their plans. Tawny just wants to blow by it and not make a big deal of it, but all Hollyhock wants is the acknowledgment her feelings were hurt. 

Seeing two younger people argue, BoJack tries to go into his old “Horsin’ Around” mode and solve it with some trite aphorisms, but the two of them have so much more emotional intelligence than that. Tawny never apologizes because because she doesn’t think she can be forgiven (remind us of someone?), but Hollyhocks needs her to apologize in order to do the actual forgiving. It really is as simple as that, and it works beautifully and they tell each other they love each other and feel better (and like most things that seem out of nowhere on this show, this will be a beautiful set-up for notions of forgiveness later). 

But now it’s already time to BoJack to move on. He still doesn’t want to go home, but after Illinois and Connecticut, he wants to go some place warm! But where? Florida? Arizona? Some parts of Texas? Seems none of the other warm states will do so it’s back to…

CALIFORNIA

Because all journeys always bring you home. BoJack arrives at Prince Carolyn’s door with his famous BoJack pool painting and it seems he’s giving it as late baby shower gift (how appropriate). But he’s also asking for a favor because he’s going to try to get that job teaching drama at Wesleyan. But the real coup is when BoJack ends up being helpful once again, specifically how he plants the seeds in Princess Carolyn’s mind that she needs to take more time for herself and Ruthie, which means she also needs someone at the office to help take care of stupid bullshit. 

Two months pass by. He’s still in competition for the teaching job, but he still can’t get comfortable in his house (note the way houses line up as metaphors with him and Diane). He wonders about this aloud in his AA meeting. It’s same house, the same city, so he asks, “if nothing’s changed. How am I supposed to?” BoJack’s words finally move Sharona to speak to him. He wants to bring it all up, but she doesn’t want to because it all reminds her of his rock bottom. But he does not get despondent. Instead BoJack offers the sincere apology and saying the words like Hollyhocks set in him. The apology registers with her and soon she offers him a proposition, “once more for old time’s sake?” So they sit down for a haircut… which comes with the reveal BoJack’s been dying his hair for years. 

I don’t know why this moment hit me so hard, but it did. There’s something to the notion of getting comfortable with being older and going gray, something that feels so in line with where BoJack is at now his life. It’s the vanity he is willing to let go of, something that was once unthinkable to him (not that dying one’s hair makes you vain, just trying to say how it absolutely tapped into his unhealthy sense of vanity from his earlier ways). But seeing him walk around with his gray hair and his new outfit, you realize that sometimes these kinds of physical changes are important to the ecosystem of your life. It’s literally trying out “new skins,” and feeling comfortable with them. 

But then, he gets the news… he got the teaching job. Which means there’s a little more traveling to do. Now, it’s off to..

WASHINGTON D.C.

Well only because there’s a layover and delay. But it will turns out to be a fortunate stop. Knowing his luck, BoJack runs into Mister Peanutbutter immediately and learns that the happy dog is “The Face of Depression,” but it doesn’t give him an existential crisis. Instead, it’s just one of those moment of hilarious irony. And by not biting, they are able to spend some time together. Mister Peanutbutter brings BoJack to a museum to see that his sweater had made it into the collection (and of course, it seems the entire set from PB’s show is also there). .But that’s when BoJack does another remarkable thing. 

He does a callback to “is this a crossover episode?” This is incredibly significant. BoJack has always had the biggest difficulty humoring people. It went against his entire core and self interest of his most myopic self. The idea of putting someone else’s playfulness first? Of not being “real?” That’s everything. And here, this long, terrible joke is something that Mister Peanutbutter has been making since literally the first episode. BoJack indulges with a wry smile. You see how much it means to him. You see so happy and overwhelmed the good dog is (also much worse at improvising he is). But most of all, you see that Bojack is really, really trying. 

BoJack continues on his journey, but he has a day to kill and sees a little pamphlet for a historical village, where it seems he can confront “horse-self.” And this is where the beautiful sad music comes in. We thus begin the catharsis of a sad, sweet montage. Princess Carolyn hires back Judah, now as her chief of operations. Todd is about to call his mom, but gets a match on his asexual app from Maude (thanks to BoJack’s help). Pickles and Peanutbutter get closer to their own love and forgiveness (and seems to be going in the direction of Joey Pogo, which is likely a bad idea). And lastly, Diane picks up Guy at the airport. But it’s exactly as she feared in that she put on weight. But nothing could matter less. Not just because it doesn’t matter, but because she started talking the medication. Because she is there and open and making a joke with her Dawson’s creek sign. It could not be a better reunion.

And lastly, BoJack goes to Old Town Horseberg. He sits in a church scene reenactment and begins hearing a fake sermon. This isn’t really about religion’s power (the show’s pretty clear on that and there’s even a witch burning moment). But it still builds to a beautiful moment of communion. The preacher says, “if god forgives thee, thou must also forgive thyself.” And as we’ve learned… we have to ask and we have to offer if we wish to have a life of grace. It all hits BoJack so squarely. As the ceremony dictates, he begins wishing peace unto others as he would unto himself. The power of the feeling rushes to him. Here, standing with horses, the symbols of his prisons of selfhood and pain and trauma and his entire past. It is here of all places that he is finding a connection. And it all hits him so profoundly. Sure, Bojack’s had moments of joy before, good-doing, happiness, and even hope. But here he get something I don’t think he’s ever felt in his entire life.

A moment of peace.

OTHER NOTES

-Jesse Novak has been making beautiful scores for the show for a long time now (the underwater episode, specifically) but tonight may have been my favorite work from him.

-“Mom’s are weird right?” The deeper story here with Todd is surely going to come out next season (or knowing this show, it might deal with it in a completely different way).

-I love the sly set-up with our weird bunny Maude, especially the way she’s coming up with goofy Todd-like jokes and business plans.

-I’ll admit I had to google Sloane Crosley

-Again, Mister Peanutbutter’s false depression continues to highlight a lot through irony, along with the ways that people talk about depression when they don’t actually have depression (“oh no, I seem very happy!”). But I still do want to take the time to single out the way he is still ignorant of a lot of his own pathological behaviors. In some ways, he’s a walking form of denial, because his compulsive joy often makes him really bad at dealing with feelings of sadness. To be clear, this does not make him a “great” person but a hugely incomplete one.

BEST JOKES

-“Remember REDS?! That’s two VHS tapes! That’s too many tapes I said!”

-Princess Carolyn and Lenny’s wrong Starbucks names are Peaches Carpenter and Leggy.

-“I think the preferred term is ‘flight servant.’”

-[Looks at glass] “Just as I suspected, half full!”

-“The acting professor quit. He got cast in a regional commercial.” / “And he quit?! Wow.”

-“Narcissist? I thought the painting was about me!”

-“Oh shit, it walks already???”

-“Sorry Benny, your storage closet sounds pretty rough.” / “Every day just keeps getting better!” / “God, you’re killing me Benny.”

-The second coffee being up in the overhead compartment and spilling just kills me.

-“… If you count the two sets of twins as two.” / “I do.”

-Best Tongue Twister: N/A?

-This Week’s Mean Joke Target: “Ugh, Wesleyan”

-Best Bit Part Animal: Not a bit part, but Phoebe Robinson as Dean Squaooshyface makes me very happy.

-Moment That Made Me the Most Emotional: That easily goes James Henry James, “Take Me Down Easy.” I’ve probably listened to it twenty times since… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6MjX1Am188