Armani (Patreon)

Don't get greedy. Don't get cocky. Don't try to be smart. That's always how they get you in the stories. Andy's mind was reeling as his gaze was transfixed on the being in front of him. Human on the surface, but definitely not human. While he was perfectly visible he emanated kind of the opposite of light. There was like a halo of darkness around him.

He was convinced he needed to answer something. He was pretty sure whatever was in front of him wouldn't leave unless he "stated a desire". It had been more of a command than an offer or a question. The rules in all the comics had been unanimous that debts had to be paid, contracts had to be honored to the letter, but the wiggle room was in what those letters said. So keep it simple, limit potential damage, and be happy with whatever came from it. Then again all those stories could be complete bullshit.

"I want a new outfit. A two-piece Armani, socks, and shoes. All matching and fitting me."

The being's expression of bemused contempt remained unchanged as he declared "It is done. The indebtedness has ceased." and flickered out of existence.

Andy felt almost blinded looking at the kitchen without a void in the center of it. He looked down and felt a tired disappointment, like reading a dad joke punch line. Of course it wasn't what he'd asked for, but he basically knew from the start it wouldn't be that so how could he be disappointed? He was wearing a grey sweatshirt and joggers, both branded Armani. The Emporio Armani EA7 cashgrab line of clothes. The legs of the joggers were tucked into a pair of black socks. Finally, he saw he was wearing a pair of black, white, and orange Airs. Far too obnoxious than anything he'd normally wear.

Resigned he walked into the hallway to look in the full-length mirror before he could take it all off and pretend none of this had ever happened. The first thing that literally stood out was his ears. It wasn't a big change, not one that anyone who didn't know him would find remarkable, but his ears were larger. The more he looked at this face the more subtle changes he saw. Subtle enough that he wasn't even sure about all of them.

What wasn't subtle was the cap loosely resting on his head in a way that made him look taller. Suddenly he realized he wasn't at his normal vantage point. The top of the hat was how tall he'd normally be, so he'd shrunk an inch or two. Again, subtle enough that no one else would probably notice. He removed the hat and found a new haircut. Fade to skin on the sides and a mop of hair on top. Nothing outrageous, but nothing he would have chosen.

Confused and increasingly worried about the full extent of the changes he tore off the sweatshirt. This was perhaps the biggest change he had gone through. On the one hand he looked thinner than ever before, but at the same time he had visible muscle on his body, like that of a mountain climber. Flat chest and abs with clear outlines of muscles.

Then it hit him. It should all match and fit him, which meant he was a variable in the spell as well. He had allowed himself to be toyed with.

"Fucking shite, innit", he said out loud with a strong accent, and his eyes widened as he heard himself.