Anti-theft device (Patreon)

This is another of those captions I've originally written elsewhere with an NSFW photo. Lightly edited be sure to be within Patreon pornography rules. Google reverse image search is a thing that exists.

He did see the sign prohibiting trying on underwear, but as he tore open the box of Calvin Klein briefs he had no intention of trying them on. He intended to walk of out the store with them on. He kicked off his sneakers, stepped out of his pants, slowly slid the briefs up his legs, and let go of the waistband. He smiled as he felt the expensive thread count against his ass. A perfect fit. Well, almost, as he could see his cock getting hard. Fuck, he looked amazing he realized.

He lowered the waistband again to let his swelling cock out. Really fucking amazing. How had he missed the cum gutters before. He pulled up his shirt to show even more. It was almost criminal to keep this to himself. He picked up his phone and pulled up an app to start streaming. Any app would do. He didn't care. People had to see him.

You could say it was bad business for the apparel store to turn shoplifters into exhibitionists and streakers. If you can place any curse on them, why not make them loyal customers instead of abhorring clothes and exposing themselves any chance they got? But these punks never had much money to begin with, so it wasn't like they lost any customers.