The Bros (Patreon)

"Hey, Bro!"
"Hey, Bro!"

I scanned the room to see where the voices came from, and if they were addressed to me. My eyes passed them over at first. There is a theory that when something is wildly out of place or in the wrong context our brains have problems grasping it and sometimes reject it. Like it is trying to recover from a self-diagnosed glitch and too embarrassed to let you know about it. But as I backtracked with my glance I spotted them. Hard to miss them really, tall, wide, and conspicuously dressed in teal and coral tank tops, showing more skin than the rest of the patrons combined. They were smiling and waving me over.

I had seen them before, quite a lot actually. They were always at my gym, both when I arrived and when I left. I guessed I had internalized them as part of the gym, and that's why they felt so out of place for my brain. I had never spoken to them though. I smiled back and headed in their direction.

"Hi, I'm Jim!"
"I'm Tim!"
"Please", Jim motioned towards the empty seat.

"Hello. I'm Thomas"
"We know."
"We know. Seen you around, bro."

They were both almost finished with a huge portion each of some Japanese egg and rice dish. I pulled out the chair and sat down. It felt a bit like I was intruding on their meal, but they clearly wanted me to be there for something. Tim enthusiastically waved at a waiter.

"No bro should eat alone, bro."
"I'm.. " I was about to say I'm no bro, but decided to go with it. I've been called bro more the past minute than ever before in my life. I could stand being a bro for a few more minutes. "You're both practically done." And I added a "bro".

"Nah, we're just getting started, bro."
The waiter finally gave up on his dignity and approached Tim, who had been waving happily throughout. "Hey, bro. Three more tamago kake gohan, and green tea all around."
"Coming up... bro." he responded and walked away. I could see a grin on his face as he went to ring up the order, clearly affected by Tim's puppy-like quality.

Realizing I was stuck eating tamago kake gohan with Jim and Tim, not that I minded, I removed my thin summer jacket and draped it over the back of the chair. With the AC blasting at full they had to be hot like furnaces to sit with just tank tops.

"So I've never seen you two outside of the Fitness Factory before. What brings you to the other side of town?"
"This tamago kake gohan is amazing, bro."
"Best tamago kake gohan in town, bro. The macros are perfect."
In the corner of my eye I could see the waiter returning with a new pot of tea and one of those annoying Japanese cups without ears that makes you burn your fingers.

"We've seen you too, bro."
"Yeah, seen you around the factory, bro."
"Great progress last year."
"Kind of stuck this year though, bro."
"The plateau, bro."
"Elf on a shelf, bro."

"Green tea for everyone. Cup for you, sir."
"Thanks, bro!"
"Thanks, bro!"
"Thank you.... bro."
The waiter gave me an understanding smile.

"So you've noticed what I've been doing. I'm flattered, I think."
"Great progress, bro."
"We wanna help you push, bro."
"Yeah, bro. Take it to the next level, bro."
"You mean like a PT or something?"
"Something like that, bro."
"Something like that, bro."

The waiter and a busboy came from behind my back and took me completely by surprise. "Three tamago kake gohan, and let me clear those away for you bros." He expertly collected the empty bowls and within 30 seconds our table was completely refreshed.

"Something like a PT?"
"We'll spot you for sure, bro."
"Always, bro."
"But we have something unique for you, bro."
"Special offer, bro."

Tim, or if it was Jim, held up a small, white pill.
"Drugs?!"
"It's not that kind of drug, bro."
"Not that kind, bro."
He dropped the pill into my cup where it quickly began to disintegrate.
"Gene therapy, bro."
"You'll be like a brother, bro."