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“Yo, anyone here?”

Brock closed the door to South London Styling behind him and took in the room for the first time. He had no idea what to expect, but was pleasantly surprised by the interior. It looked like a good barber, perhaps even towards the higher end. A man in his thirties, dressed in black polo shirt and pants emerged from a back room and greeted him. “Good Morning. How can I help?” he said in a British accent, which Brock had always thought sounded smart.

Brock pulled out a card from his khakis and handed it over. “Well, that’s the thing. I don’t know what you do. It was just my birthday and the frat house handed me this card, inside like 30 envelopes.” He was reassured by the surroundings. Jake got a gift card for a lap dance from a male escort service. Luke the second got a blow-up sex doll. Luke the first had gotten a hot air balloon ride, but he was afraid of heights. So far this looked like the most normal of gifts of all of them.

The man looked carefully at the card in his hands. “Ah! All-inclusive personal styling and outfitting. You really should have called ahead of time to schedule a session.” Brock was intrigued by the contradictions of this barber’s, or whatever he was, hands, holding his gift card. Both arms were heavily tattooed, but on the left wrist was a clearly well-designed timepiece. “I’m normally over at the campus but had another thing downtown. How long does it take? Do I need to come back?”

The man looked up. “It sort of depends on the wishes of the client, but we ordinarily set aside two hours. I do have an opening right now, with the caveat that the next appointment might arrive at the end of the session, cutting it slightly short.”
“Sure, I have time. What is it you do, though? Haircuts?”
“We do that too, but we try to be your one-stop for all styling and grooming. As the name suggests we have a more European focus on the style. In particular a look known as Chav.”
“Never heard of. Sounds French.”
“No, it is British. Perhaps you have heard the term Scally?”
“Sounds Italian. Nope there too. I love European fashion though. In theory at least. I have a student budget.”
“Well, perhaps we can get started and you’ll get a feel for what direction to go. In the all-inclusive package, besides all the grooming, one full outfit is included for you to take home. I’m Alexander by the way.”

Brock had no idea what to expect. He didn’t know anything about British fashion trends. Kilts and tweeds would obviously be off the table. Otherwise his only reference was Rob who always wore too tight pants, sorry trousers. Was that British fashion? He followed the man into the back room.

The room was surprisingly large and bright, with neutral furniture and soft light colors. Lots of wardrobe doors along the walls, some furniture to sit on, and a room divider in one corner, presumably acting as a fitting room. “If you like European fashion, let’s start with the European brands”, said Alexander as he went to a wardrobe and pulled out one adidas top and hoodie after the other, placing them on a rack.

There was a second of confusion for Brock when the contrast between his expectations and the class of the room, made the display of streetwear almost jarring. Of course his frat house hadn’t bought him a suit and tie. He’d expected a twist, then just when he thought this was a real birthday present: twist. But a new set of athletic clothes isn’t cheap, so he decided to engage fully. Let’s go all in with this style and let the house get the laughter they’ve paid for. Perhaps it would even look good.

Once past the disappointment, Brock found the whole thing interesting. He hadn’t really thought about the difference in relaxed clothes between different areas. Instead of his normal outfit of jerseys, baller shorts or cargo pants Alexander showed him a range of track tops and “joggers”, and together they placed a black T-shirt, adidas track top, unbranded grey sweats, and a pair of Nike shoes on a couch. As Brock grabbed it all to try it on, placed two plastic-wrapped bundles on top of the pile. One was a two-pack McKenzie briefs and the other was a 3-pack unbranded white socks.

“You want me to strip naked?”
“It’s up to you, but we do promise a complete style.”

It wasn’t until behind the divider, with his khakis and shirt folded into a pile that he made the decision. It felt weird stripping naked in the same room as another dude, although on the other side of the screen, but he reminded himself that he would use the gift card to the max. Off went the underwear, and he started putting all the new clothes on.

Looking at himself in the mirror it kind of felt different. Sure, it was just clothes, but how often do you replace everything. How often is everything you wear chosen by someone else? He had the final decision of course, but from a selection already decided for him.

“Well mint.”
“Mint?”
“It looks good on you. Let’s style the rest of you to match.”

They walked back out into the barber part and Brock sat down in one of the chairs. Alexander put a barber’s gown over Brock and started to prepare him for a haircut with a sanex strip around his neck. Brock had a quick thought about his clothes in the other room when Brock spoke again.

“There are a few different styles I would recommend for your look and face shape.”
“Just pick whatever you think is best.”
“Splendid. In that case we have an additional service we can provide while you relax, if you wish. It’s a kind of motivational attitude tape you can listen to. Completely complimentary, and optional, of course.”
“Yeah, sure. I’m all in.”
“Do you smoke?”
“What?”
“We have different tapes depending on your preference.”
“Yeah, now that it’s legal I light up occasionally.”
“Very well. Put these in.”

Alexander opened a small box with some wireless in-ear headphones, put on some disposable rubber covers and handed them to Brock. While Brock fiddled with getting them into place, Alexander brought a cup of tea and a small plate with what looked like a piece of single chewing gum.

“Just drink the tea and then start chewing on the chewing gum, and I’ll get started.” Alexander said, and started tapping on a cellphone. The earpieces started to stream a constant, but not very loud hiss. Brock wasn’t used to tea, but this one was alright. Bitter, sweet, and a hint of lemon. Alexander started to draw a line around his skull with a clipper. Was he getting a bowl cut? If that is the price for a new set of clothes, so be it. He was getting really relaxed. The chewing gum wasn't very good.

Brock jerked violently as he woke up, looking around confused to establish where he was. His eyes landed on an unfamiliar guy. “Good Morning again. Did you have a nice nap?” said someone standing next to him, and slowly he got his brain in gear. “Oi Alex!”.  Brock looked back at the unfamiliar guy in the mirror. If it wasn’t for the face, there was nothing that looked like he was used to seeing in the mirror. A fresh set of clothes and a fresh new haircut that somehow managed to look clean, athletic, trashy and aggressive, all at the same time. He was loving it. “Looking mint, mate!” he said, causing Alex to smile.

“I didn’t want to make any decisions for you while you were relaxing. Would you care for a nick or two in the brow?”
“Hot looking, innit. Go for it, mate.”
Alex took a small clipper and quickly made two slits in Brock’s left eyebrow with his steady hand. There was a piece of stale chewing gum in Brock’s mouth that bothered him. He felt he needed something, but this gum had given all it could. Discretely he took it out when Alex looked away, and placed it under one of the chair’s armrests.

“Finally, we do have some time for ear piercings if you want.”
“Sounds epic, mate.”
While Alex went to pick up the piercing gun, Brock grabbed the pack of cigarettes off the desk in front of him, picked on cigarette out, and put it in his mouth. Even though it wasn’t lit, it felt so much better to have something in the mouth. “I have these healing studs that look pretty good.” Alex held out a pair of cut glass studs. “You can switch them out for something fancier once healed in 6 weeks.”
“Those are well nice. Fucking mint, innit.”

As Alex cleaned, pierced and finished with his ears, Brock considered what he saw in the mirror. If any of the wankers at the frat gave attitude he would kick them in the teeth. This was mint as fuck. If only he was allowed to light his fucking fag.

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