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I honestly didn’t see her until the very last moment. It was too late, so I swerved hard, lost control of the skateboard, and did a tumble on the side walk.

“Oh, my. That was way too fast, wasn’t it, dear?” The old lady was ugly like a witch, but looked kind. “It’s usually no big deal.” I look around to locate where the skateboard went. I can’t see it. “And your clothes are dirty now. Come with me and we’ll fix you just right up.” As I stand it’s obvious my foot has been banged up. That’s going to be sore as fuck tomorrow.

“No, it really isn’t needed.” The skateboard must have disappeared into the alley. If it had continued down the street I should see it. “That’s not how you talk to your elders. You should do as you are told, young man.”

Resigned I follow the old hag across the street. At least her apartment is close. The entrance is a narrow door between the soap store and the pizza joint. The stairs looks to be as old as she is and the brick walls are bare. Two flights up she unlocks a big, black wooden door. Why are we here again?

I follow her into the apartment. It’s big, but cluttered and smells like herbs, mildew and spearmint. Before I even finish to take in sight, she stands behind me with a tray of cookies. “Now promise me to be a good boy and do as I say, and you can have a cookie.” Damn, she was fast. I don’t want a cookie. I want to leave. “Thank you. I promise.” The cookie looks plain, but it is amazingly good, slightly chewy, with an almond finish.

“Now take off all your clothes and follow me to the bathroom.” I immediately strip naked, underwear and all. Where was this going? I follow her through the door to the bathroom. It is steamy and a strong scent of pine linger in the spacious bathroom. She is dripping drops of something in the large marble bathtub that is filling with warm water. “Almost ready for you now. Just turn it off once it reaches the lower tap. Then climb in and make sure to soak all of you, to get rid of all that filth.” She leaves the room.

I did as she said. Turned off the water at the right moment, stepped into the water and sat down. It was almost too hot. I could feel my body getting flush. I lied down and submerged myself, letting the fresh scented water wash all over me. It was nice. Really nice. But what was the point here?

Had I dozed off? The water is certainly not hot anymore. Lukewarm perhaps. I am about to call out to the old lady and ask permission to step out of the bath when I notice my tattoos. They are blurry. Well, the one Josh had made was blurry from the start, but he’s a moron and I’m a moron for letting him tat me. I touch them, and to my amazement they smudge. I wash them in the water and see them disappear. I’m a little bit sad. I paid good money for them after all.

After another five minutes or so the old lady walks in, carrying a large, white bath towel. “When you feel ready, dry yourself and come to the dining room. I’ve arranged your clothes for you.”

Do I feel ready? For what? As soon as she is out of the room, I step out of the bath and pat myself dry. It’s not just my tattoos that are gone. My summer tan has left me too. What is going on here? At least the foot doesn’t hurt. Not knowing how to behave, I put the towel around my waist and walk to find the dining room. There, on the big dining table is a set of clothes I’ve never seen before. I hesitate.

“You love this look! It makes you look serious and respectable. Put it on and we can have a look.” Gone are my DC sneakers, khaki cargo shorts and daft punk T-shirt. In its place form fitting dress pants, shirt and button up cardigan. I fumble with the tie, never having worn one before. “Oh, dear. Of course you know how to put on a tie. You always wear one when it matters.” She was right. I do know how to tie a tie. Somehow.

She walks around me, having a closer look. “That is so much better. A bit disheveled still, but I guess that is your rebellious streak. Here, have another cookie before you go, and promise me to do well in school.” Eagerly I take another cookie. “I promise.”

Out on the street I’m utterly confused. What did just happen? I look into the alley, but no skateboard. I turn and begin to walk home. As I pass the soap shop I note that it share a wall with the pizza joint. That’s relevant for some reason I can’t put my finger on. Well, I better hurry home. I got homework to do.

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