Bounded again + Aftercare (Patreon)

One of the Instagram followers recently asked me about Filip's aftercare needs, and even though Filip sees himself as very independent and cold if it comes to emotional needs, an aftercare is an area that can't be overseen even by him. It would be futile and very harmful if he lied to himself about the topic that is obviously really  important to him.

For many years he believed that not being heterosexual was a weakness if it came to men. His whole sense of identity was based upon how strong he was in his own eyes and the eyes of people around him. This gave him a sense of security and peace. This approach to strength stayed with him even after he accepted his sexuality being different than he stubbornly tried to show.

 It is still very important to him to feel empowered, strong and independent which is clashing with what arouses him sexually. In a play he likes to be dominated and crashed to the ground, he loves to be humiliated and be reminded of his place, he enjoys certain level of pain and restrain. But after the play is done he has to recharge and snap out of the role and not carry it further into the rest of the day or longer. 

That's why after the mentally and physically taxing sessions with Patrick, and/or ladies from the friend group, he needs to be reminded of his worth. The usual aftercare for him is to get some beer and food, smoke with his partner from the play and talk about everyday stuff. It's even better if he hears how strong he was while in the ropes and how great he handled it. A cherry on top would be hearing that it was very arousing to watch him in this state, and it was hard for the partner to focus on anything else than him. Right after the play it's really good for him to be gently hugged in a way where he can hold onto the partner and be supported when he feels weak. It's the only moment when he really enjoys an emotion filled kiss. Soft one with love and acceptance. 

On the long run, days after the play he still needs to stay connected and bond with the partner by joking and being playfully mean to each other. He feels best if he can just stop by and hang, watch a movie, eat some fast food together and get high.