Self care selfies and pics (Patreon)

I just wanted to post some selfies and pics I took this month becasue I’ll be honest

i dont know what I’ll be able to manage right now…

if you’ve seen me on social media you’ll know ive tanked mentally

I’m having anxiety attacks thinking about putting on makeup or building cosplays.

the Times where I am able to put on makeup I hate it, it makes me sick like something is desperately wrong.

I’ve had some family stuff going on too that I don’t really like to talk about on my platforms because my family follows me on there

And I’m lost

If the analogy of being burnt out candle is the base, I feel right now like I don’t even wick to light, it’s all gone. I feel tapped and empty.

And I hate it

I don’t know what’s wrong or where this is coming from

I hardly know how to express what I’m feeling

Everyday I try so hard to give it my best shot

I’ve been eating right, sleeping well, drinking enough water, working out five times a week…

I should be fine but I’m not

I simply don’t know what to do

Im still going to try my best everyday to wake up and give it all a good go like I always do. But something feels so deeply wrong

I know I need to find a therapist, doesn’t help the last time I signed up I waited months and they never matched me with someone and I live in a very…ummm not a lot of resources area.

I will re-lease some old sets in the mean time.

Im still fighting to keep my promise I’ve made on here and want to honor and respect them.

So

That’s the update…I’m trying my best I really am and I hope you believe me.

I really just want to be good and do good

thank you