Gotham's Dead End Bar Ch.42 (Patreon)

Savage and I were taken before the Queen of Tamaran. And already — in the short trip from our ship to the halls of the royal palace — Savage had the local women swooning over him and eating out of the palm of his hand. A feat made only more impressive by the fact that we were being escorted by what I could only assume was the Queen’s royal guard…

“Nonsense, Shin’a!” Savage declared, working his magic on one of the guards. “A beautiful woman like you always deserves to be appreciated! You should never be taken for granted! NEVER let your passion die! Ahahaha!”

Shin’a — a Tamarean woman with platinum-white hair to compliment her golden skin — blushed a brilliant hue at Savage’s praise, “You spoil me, sir. Truly, you should have been born a Tamarean. You certainly do not lack the passion to match…”

“I WOULD spoil you!” Savage grinned a savagely charming grin. “Always and forever, good maiden! I am positively ecstatic that PASSION is something our species share!”

I shook my head and chuckled. It seemed that Savage barely needed my help in the wooing department. Even the royal guards he wasn’t focusing on were beginning to swoon by sheer proximity to his immortal charm. The old man still had it. Of course, that didn’t mean I’d let him do this all on his own. Where would the fun in that be?

“You know, I’ve heard tales that my friend here is a lover for the ages,” I commented casually. “His undying carnal passion has spawned literal legends back home, I’m sure.”

Luxa’y — another of the royal guards, just as beautiful as the rest — chuckled along with me, eyeing Savage with practically predatory, lidded eyes, “That does not surprise me. His passion would not be out of place beside our goddess X’Hal as her eternal mate.”

The group that had fetched us from our ship seemed to be entirely female. I couldn’t help but wonder if that extended to the royal guard as a whole or if we were just lucky. It wasn’t as if the Tamareans were an Amazon-esque race. We’d seen men as we walked through the palace with the royal guards floating along around us. So perhaps it was just good luck that our welcoming committee so perfectly fit our preferences. Or perhaps it was a calculated gamble to allow the Tamareans to put their trademark passion to good use.

If it was the latter, it was effective. Savage certainly wasn’t in the mood to make war. Of course, neither of us had been in the first place. But I could see how the gorgeous royal guards might have pacified us if that was the case. Also, there was no doubt in my mind that every one of them was still a frighteningly proficient warrior in their own right.

Yes, Savage’s usual conquering tendencies seemed to lean away from warfare at the moment… “Say not another word, fair one! I have indeed lain with goddesses! And I will always rise to such challenges at a moment’s notice!”

“My, my, such arrogance~” Luxa’y chortled huskily. “Can you back it up with action~?”

“Test me if you dare!” Savage laughed. “If any require proof of my past feats, I shall gladly oblige!”

Luxa’y and Shin’a seemed to be the main two guards chosen to interact with us. But the rest of their comrades still swooned over Savage’s passion in the background.

“Can we test him? Can we, can we~?!”

“A true man who does not back down from any challenges~! Mmmmm~…”

“Goddess… I wish to see if he is truly as sturdy as he looks!”

“I’m sorry, My Queen… I am already lost in his wild smile…”

“It’s practically unfair. He speaks to the primal cave cat in all of our souls!”

Savage ~GRINNED~, “The sword of my loins is as mighty, fearsome, and stiff as the sword of my many, MANY battles!”

“Oh, Goddess… I-In public~…? He wishes to make us act as fools~…!” Shin’a let out a little purring whimper under her breath.

Yeah, Savage REALLY didn’t need my help here just yet. He already had these girls weak in the knees just from his usual demeanor and all-encompassing passion. Though weak in the knees didn’t quite sound the same when they were floating… Weak in the wings? Weak in stellar energy?

I shook my head in amusement at my thoughts, just standing back and watching Savage work his uniquely spirited brand of magic. His fiery-tempered confidence took the royal guards by the reins and led them along at his usual breakneck pace. Even seven against one, they stood no chance when faced with Savage’s savage charm. And it was VERY entertaining to watch.

Eventually, we came to a ceiling-high set of double doors. Luxa’y took the rest of the royal guards into a brief huddle to gather themselves and regain their composure. I only caught a little bit of the ‘motivational’ speech she gave them.

“Stay strong, comrades. The Queen shall expect better from us. At least until she meets him for herself…”

Savage just stood there, smiling like the world’s most confident fool and the cat that got the canary in one expression. He held out a closed fist to me without saying a word. Rolling my eyes goodnaturedly, I bumped it. As one did. Fist bumps were practically a requirement of any good bro-ship.

When the guards were ready — still heavily swooning but concealing it better — they flew up to open the tall double doors. Luxa’y and Shin’a led the way into what could only be the throne room. Savage and I dutifully followed. The rest of the royal guards followed behind us in a way that MIGHT have been intimidating if it weren’t for the doe eyes they were still shooting at Savage’s confident, broad back.

The throne room we entered was grand and very sci-fi-esque. Not too ostentatious or darkly menacing though. The palace itself was a tall structure, more akin to a skyscraper than a castle. The throne room was placed near the top of the tower, presenting an unmatched view of the city below.

Crystal — so pure and clear it could have been glass — made up the walls. Plated pillars of silvery metal sectioned off both long sides of a rectangular hall. At the end opposite the double doors, a throne was set before a glittering golden halo like the sun.

On the throne, the Queen of Tamaran watched us enter intently with intense, calculating eyes. She tapped her fingers in a cascading pattern on the crystalline arm of the throne. I was briefly surprised to see that I recognized her. It seemed Blackfire — Starfire’s sister — had already taken the throne of Tamaran.

Blackfire cut a darkly regal figure. Her outfit of purple and silver contrasted and complimented her flawless Tamarean-gold skin and pitch-black hair like the night. It looked to be made for combat and molded to Blackfire’s slender and subtly supple curves.

Blackfire was a beauty of confidence, drive, and excellence. A cold-hard determination to get what was HERS resonated like steel in her breast. The aura around her was almost harsh, with intense conviction and capability screaming that this was a woman who got what she wanted. She gave off feelings of darkness, not in a goth sense like with Raven or Didi but in the way of a paradoxically burning black fire.

And most notably, just the sight of her was enough to bring Savage up short for a brief moment. He stared — surprise and a spark of something in his eyes as she captured his entire attention. Blackfire narrowed her eyes at his reaction.

“Do you have something to say, Barbarian?”

That seemed to be enough to startle Savage out of his trance, his usual wild grin returning in an instant, “Haha! No, my apologies, Queen Tamaran! Your beauty and conviction merely left me in awe for a moment! Truly, I can FEEL your drive and it’s INTOXICATING!”

“As it should be,” A smugly confident smirk settled onto Blackfire’s face as if it belonged there. “At least you have good eyes, Barbarian. I am Queen Blackfire of Tamaran. What is your name? And why have you come to my planet?”

As good as recovered already, Savage stood proud, “Vandal Savage, at your pleasure, Queen Blackfire! May your queendom ever-prosper and your beauty remain unmatched! I come to your planet in search of adventure and booty!”

Blackfire tried very hard not to show it on her face, but I could see that Savage’s exaggerated, passionate compliment didn’t miss its mark. She did a remarkably good job of it but the slight, slight coloring of her cheeks was still impossible to miss. Of course, his declaration of intent almost ruined the prior compliment’s effectiveness.

“You wish to plunder my homeworld…?” Blackfire’s eyes narrowed again with a twitch. “You’re bold. I can almost respect that. But it won’t do you any favors if you’ve come to ransack our treasures.”

I cleared my throat, getting her attention, “Ahem… Wrong kind of booty.”

Blackfire paused and blinked at me slowly. Her gaze turned back to Savage. And this time, the blush that came across her face was much more noticeable, “A-Ah. I see…”

She tried to cover the blush with a scowl and cutting remarks, “And you think I will just let you plunder the literal fruits of our species?!”

“Yes!” Savage didn’t even flinch.

The instant confidence made Blackfire waver for a moment before her scowl deepened and she cut back even harsher to compensate, “Barbarian! Brute! Even your name is savage, Savage! I’ll never let you lay a finger on my female subjects!”

Of course, Blackfire was then shocked to find her loyal royal guards protesting her hasty declaration.

“N-No!”

“Someone stop her!”

“The Queen has gone mad!”

“Can she not see the grave mistake she is about to make?!”

“I haven’t even gotten to taste his muscles yet!”

“The Queen denies our passion… Even her own…”

“Is, uh… Is this when we start the rebellion?”

“Don’t be a cunt-blocking bitch, My Queen!”

“My Queen, I must urge you to reconsider,” Luxa’y tried to appeal to ‘reason’ — after glaring daggers at the last guard to speak who MIGHT have stepped just a bit over the line. “He is a prime male specimen. Our species will only grow stronger and more diverse with the inclusion of his genes.”

Blackfire gaped at them, “W-What?! You can’t be serious! What in the Hells is wrong with all of you?!”

“M-My Queen…” Shin’a said, avoiding Blackfire’s eyes. “Just look at him. Can’t you feel his PASSION…?”

Blackfire turned back to Savage. He stood strong and tall in place, somehow managing to not look smug even after all of that. His grin glinted almost cartoonishly and the royal guards just about fell over themselves in their swooning.

Blackfire groaned, “Urrrghh~! No, no, this is ridiculous! I don’t care if you’re a hot older guy with enough PASSION to keep up with a goddess! You can’t just come to my planet, barge into my throne room, and expect me to hand over the keys to my people’s chastity!”

“Gasp!” Savage exaggerated a gasp, even going so far as to say the word. “I would never, venerated Queen! Nay, I shall work for my booty! None shall say I did not conquer it fair and justly! And if I must seduce my way through every woman in this beautiful world to get to you, I shall!”

“Ah~! S-Shut up! You can’t just say things like that, Barbarian!” Blackfire’s blush grew to overtake her face and she sprung up from her throne in embarrassed frustration.

A bolt of dark starbolt energy shot from her hand at Savage, seemingly without Blackfire stopping to think through her actions. Of course, Savage being Savage, didn’t take offense to the sudden attack. If anything, it just seemed to make him more interested in the Queen of Tamaran. His grin grew and he met the bolt of energy with a savage punch, managing to cancel it out through sheer, domineering, physical force.

“Ahahah! Excellent! Combat is truly the truest form of courting! Truly! I am ecstatic to see that your race is wise to that wisdom as well!” Savage laughed.

The royal guards swooned as one in the background, seemingly forgetting their duties for a moment at Savage’s impressive feat, “O-Oh, Goddess~!”

“No one gets to punch my bolts into submission…” Blackfire menaced quietly, evolving into an honest growl. “That’s it! Stay still and take my wrath like a man! I’ll show you PASSION you barbarian bastard!”

Savage matched her energy beat for beat, springing into action just as Blackfire did, “Yes! Yes! That fire! You have me properly smitten, my queenly maiden! Come, let us combine our passionate flames! The winner shall get to be on top first!”

“You’ll have to do a lot better than that if you wanna fuck my royal ass!”

“Ha! I plan to!”

I was content to sit back and watch the insanity as Savage and Blackfire sprung into a courting dance of fists and starbolts. Really, I expected nothing less from Savage. And while Blackfire was a slight surprise, Savage seemed to push her buttons perfectly. The young woman who’d taken over her planet didn’t even realize that she was playing right into Savage’s hand.

I conjured myself up a seat — one of those loungers you might find on a beach — and settled in to watch Savage’s somewhat unorthodox wooing methods at work. And work they did. At least here on Tamaran. The royal guards and Blackfire herself to an extent were proof of that much.

The royal guard girls were watching the ‘fight’ with utterly entranced expressions on their faces, taken by Savage’s overwhelming passion on display. One or two of them were quite literally drooling as they watched. And at least Luxa’y and Shin’a had the good sense not to interrupt the courting combatants. I had a feeling that Blackfire wouldn’t actually appreciate that moderation as much as she ‘should’ have.

“He barely needs my help,” I chuckled to myself. “Sure is funny as Hell to watch though.”

Blackfire and Savage went blow for blow, starbolt for fist. Savage’s grin didn’t waver an inch for a single moment. And as the ‘fight’ continued, Blackfire’s lips began to morph into a wild grin of her own. I’m sure she would never admit it though. She was a woman of pride and drive, of course. Not someone who lost themselves to passion, despite her race and culture’s inclination toward emotions.

Grinning just as savagely as Savage was at this point, Blackfire flew in for a two-handed hammer blow. Savage didn’t back down from the starbolt-fueled strike that would have sent anyone else into the floor. He stepped in and grabbed her descending arms, careless of her energy scalding his skin. With a step and a twist, he wrestled her out of the air, spinning her into his chest more like a dancer than a fighter.

Blackfire snarled and hissed like an actual cat, struggling against his superhumanly strong arms. Very quickly, the hold turned more intimate than it probably should have. More of an embrace than anything else… Blackfire’s growls slowly turned into mewling whimpers as they ground against each other in their ‘struggles’.

It seemed as if the two of them were going to drop any pretense of a fight then and there… Until Luxa’y’s cheers broke the ‘stalemate’, “Yes, go, My Queen! Show him the pride and passion of Tamaran!”

Suddenly, Blackfire jumped in place in Savage’s arms before going completely still. Savage waited, cocking his head in confusion.

“Queen Blackfire?” He asked. “Are we to continue our courting bout?”

“… Let me go, you big barbarian brute…” Blackfire muttered quietly, embarrassment audible in her voice.

Savage just nodded as a matter of course, “Ah, this is where our duel ends for now. I see. A shame but I shall oblige.”

He opened his arms and Blackfire instantly flew out of them, gathering herself as she did. Her dark and menacing demeanor returned, forced slightly as she tried to preserve any shred of dignity she had left. With narrowed eyes and a scowl above duskily blushing cheeks, she turned back to Savage.

“We’ll call that a draw. For now…”

Savage’s energy and passion were undeterred by her sudden shift in mood, “Very well! I look forward to continuing with you, Queen! Your passion burns hot indeed but I believe I can conquer you!”

“You’re…” Blackfire glowered at him as if she could make him explode where he stood with just her eyes. “You’re un-fucking-fair. So un-fucking-fair.”

Her royal guards all nodded along in the background, “I know what you mean, My Queen.”

“Preach!”

“It’s all that passion and those muscles and that grin of his…”

“Un-fucking-fair indeed.”

“Whatever,” Blackfire grumbled, almost petulantly. “You’re a big tough guy here to seduce all our women. Joy. The menfolk will ‘love’ you.”

“Uh, My Queen…?” Shin’a interjected awkwardly. “They just might, considering he can put up a fight against you of all Tamareans.”

“Shit! Fuck!” Blackfire swore to herself, realizing her subordinate was probably right. She glared at Savage even more, “Right, I’m not going to green-light your… whatever you call your intentions here… But I also realize I’m probably not going to be able to stop you.”

“Not a chance!” Savage laughed. “Just watch, Queen Blackfire! I shall win you and your people over!”

A growl rumbled in Blackfire’s throat but she didn’t argue against him. Instead, she turned her attention to me, “And what’s your deal? Are you also here to seduce my women and sire an entire generation of super-strong bastard children?”

“Hm, nope,” I simply said, popping the ‘p’. To Blackfire’s obvious frustration (and my amusement), I left it at that.

“Then why the fuck have you basically invaded my planet with this crazy fucker?!” She snapped at me.

Savage took the initiative to answer for me, “Tis simple, Fair Queen! Sean Caine is here as my BEST FRIEND! Haha! And my eternal wingman!”

Blackfire’s mind visibly blanked, her expression falling flat, “… What? Wing… man…?”

“What he said,” I smirked. “‘Best friend’ might be a bit hasty. I’m not about to argue with Savage though. That’d be like arguing with a hurricane.”

“Fuck if I’m not finding that out for myself…” Blackfire huffed to herself. “As if this fucker needs a wingman.”

“You have a good point,” I considered with a hum. “I suppose I should start pulling my weight. Wouldn’t be much of a bro trip without me joining in on the fun, would it?”

“Bro-? Argh!” Blackfire threw her hands up, already DONE with both of us. “… I think I might hate you two.”

“Good! Very good indeed!” Savage declared. “Hate is but another form of PASSION! Stoke those flames so I may have a challenge, Queen! I shall conquer anything you put before me!”

Blackfire’s blush came back beneath her glare at Savage’s inflamed declaration. Her royal guards fanned themselves, falling over one another in exaggerated swooning. Savage’s ever-present grin only grew wider and more savage. As he continued his unorthodox courting of an entire species, an idea for how I could play my part as his wingman percolated in my mind.

“He means it, you know,” I said, my tone ‘nonchalant’ and almost deceptively innocent. “And he’ll have a damn long time to keep trying. He’ll win you over eventually. He tends to do that.”

“Long… time…?” Blackfire stiffened noticeably at my words. “You two intend to stay on Tamaran indefinitely…?”

“Hmm?” I hummed, still playing the innocent. “Oh, no. I simply meant that since he’s a True Immortal, he’ll keep coming back until he’s practically a part of your culture.”

A deafening silence answered my ‘casual’ words. Savage stared at me, confused and intrigued to see where I was going with this. Blackfire froze completely still, her eyes widening at the idea of true immortality. Her royal guards gasped and gaped at Savage, seeing him in a new, almost divine light.

“True Immortal…”

“Of course! He is a god! How did we not see it before!”

“It’s so obvious now!”

“Mmmm~, I’d certainly worship him~…”

“That… That’s ridiculous,” Blackfire sputtered, trying to deny my claim.

I raised a single eyebrow at her, “Is it? After meeting him, can you really say that? Savage is just about the immortal-est immortal I’ve ever met.”

Puffing up in pride at my ‘praise’, Savage chuckled as humbly as he could — which for him, wasn’t much —, “Oh, come now, my friend. You flatter me.”

“Immortality…” Blackfire’s eyes began to light up as she truly processed what I’d said. She looked at Savage with DESIRE that overwhelmed her previous irritation and exasperation as if they weren’t even there, “The things I could do… I could make our race great! I could stand beside X’Hal as a goddess for all time!”

“Oh, and did I mention?” I added. “An immortal’s… essence… isn’t just good for the skin. It also promotes longevity and strength. Honestly, your race is lucky that Savage has set you all in his sights. Well… the women are.”

I’d all but stated my intentions with that and Savage caught on to my idea. He laughed openly about the ‘con’ I was pulling. Still, the Tamareans and their Queen were too taken by passionate awe, desire, and ambitions to be truly suspicious. I shot him a sneaky smirk and we both settled in to see what they would do with this new information. After all, I’d basically handed them the keys and made Savage even more desirable than he already was in their minds.

It wasn’t necessarily malicious. But it was a bit sneaky and mischievous. Blackfire and the women of Tamaran still had their agency but as his wingman, it was my job to get Savage laid. It wasn’t as if I was lying either. Savage WAS a True Immortal. I was almost positive that being ‘with’ him and, ahem… imbibing his essence… would have noticeably beneficial effects. I’d simply made his appeal extend to more than just a carnal and passionate sense of the word.

Blackfire fixed Savage with a look that was pure SEX, PASSION, and DESIRE, “You! I’ve changed my mind! You might be a cocky bastard and an impossible menace to society but I’m willing to give you the blessing of the Queen of Tamaran! No, more than that! I’m willing to give you an official royal position! How would you like to be the royal breeder of Tamaran, Barbarian?!”

Savage grew unusually serious and sober as he answered, “You honor me, Queen Blackfire. I realize that such a position is never given lightly.”

… Then he ruined it with a booming laugh, “Haha, very well! My immortal self shall strive to meet your expectations and exceed them! I accept your challenge of PASSION! I shall leave you and your royal guard BRED barefoot and pregnant by tomorrow’s morning sun!”

A few of the royal guards outright fainted at his declaration of breeding intent. The rest were completely taken, awestruck by his PASSION.

“Oh, Goddess, yes~!”

“My womb is ready, Sir!”

“It would be my pleasure to do my royal duty.”

“Ha, literally! It’s breeding time, baby! I’m gonna breed until I can’t breed anymore!”

“Truly, our Queen is a fair and just queen…”

Blackfire tried to cover her wicked blush at Savage’s savage declaration with a scowl, “Cocky bastard… Dammit, why do I kind of like him that way…?”

Luxa’y cleared her throat, “My Queen, if I may? While I do approve of your current course of action, I believe there are certain formalities to be taken care of.”

“Like what?” Blackfire asked, frowning fiercely at her lead guard.

“Verification and experimentation,” Luxa’y answered dutifully. “While all of us believe his claims, those who have not met him will question your wisdom, My Queen. It would be best if we had… proof… of the boons he can gift our race.”

A wide and somewhat menacing grin grew across Blackfire’s face at that, “Heh, I believe you’re right, Luxa’y.”

She turned the grin onto Savage as a dark promise, “It seems you’ll have to leave yourself at our mercy, Barbarian. For some… experiments~. Some immortal~… carnal~… experiments~”

Savage stood dramatically strong against Blackfire’s ‘sadistic’ menace, “Do your worst, Queen! My cock shall pierce the Heavens!”

… Aaaannndd that was enough of that for me, “Right, I think that’s where I bow out. I’ve played my part and I don’t particularly want to stick around for… any of that. Enjoy yourself, Savage. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do-… Actually, just have fun.”

I escaped the throne room just in time, catching a glimpse of Blackfire and her especially eager royal guards quite literally JUMPING Savage as I closed the doors behind me. The ever-present grin on his face told me he was more than up for the challenge.

Poor girls… They didn’t know what they were getting themselves into.

IIIII

Raven and the Teen Titans were running around like chickens with their heads cut off, trying to put out the fires that fell under their jurisdiction. As usual. The life of a hero was never easy or simple, Raven had found. But it was certainly very, very hectic.

“On your left, Beast Boy,” Raven called out over their comms from her position as overwatch above the current multi-fronted conflict. “Your other left.”

“Thanks, Rae!” Garfield called back, dodging just in time to avoid one of the weird bee-themed villains who were only half of the villainous forces the Titans were battling.

“Cyborg,” Raven gave another flat call-out when she was satisfied that Garfield had things back in hand for the moment. “A bus full of civilians will be speeding past your position any second. They’re being chased. Do what you have to do.”

“A literal busload? Man, how cliche can you get?!” Vic exclaimed, already getting himself ready to act on Raven’s information.

“‘They’ are demons,” Raven deadpanned. “So pretty damn cliche.”

Yes, the current situation was very chaotic. Some magical idiot had managed to fuck up and open a literal portal to Hell in the middle of the city. Raven had closed it already but the damage was done and the Titans were left fighting a relatively manageable demonic infestation.

Then those bee-themed assholes who called themselves H.I.V.E showed up and began trying to kidnap innocents. Their arrival had split the Titans’ attention and now they were fighting an attritional battle on two fronts. They were winning. But it was slow going. Today was SO not the Titans’ day…

Things were so busy that Raven WASN’T thinking about Sean at the moment for the first time in the past few days. Not even her Passion was thinking about him. Raven’s mirrored soul was too busy watching her back to distract her with the constant, INTENSELY lewd fantasies she’d been dreaming up.

Raven might have been repressed to Hell and back and THIRSTY as everything unholy in the world but she wasn’t about to let her… issues… prevent her from doing her heroic duties. There were lives to be saved. And Raven quite liked it when innocent civilians DIDN’T have to fear for their lives. Yeah, she was a softie like that…

“Love the sarcasm, bestie!” Passion shouted in Raven’s soul. “But maybe we should be channeling that cutting energy into all the LITERAL DEMONS down there?!”

“Ah. Good point. Shadow Bomb.”

Far below them, a group of demons (A gang? A murder? A legion? Whatever, Raven supposed it didn’t really matter) exploded into shadows and darkness. They’d been aiming for an elementary school. And despite the macabreness of the whole situation, Raven couldn’t help but snort to herself.

“They really are as cliche as it gets, aren’t they?”

“Yeah, they’re fucking dumbasses! Now, duck!” Passion bellowed, bursting forth from Raven’s soul.

Since Raven was flying — sitting crosslegged in mid-air — she couldn’t truly ‘duck’. But she did descend at her other half’s prompting. As she did, Passion reached out through Raven’s shadow. The H.I.V.E member trying to sneak up on Raven was peacefully restrained with barely a struggle (they were still human, after all) and dropped off next to the proper authorities, gift-wrapped in a bow of darkness.

There was a moment of respite after that attack. The battle on the ground was winding down. The demonic infestation had been just about exterminated. Vic was cleaning up the stragglers with vicious technological superiority. Garfield and Damian were handily handling the rest of the H.I.V.E members, with a plethora of bestial forms and the usual ruthless efficiency respectively. Kori was acting as air support, flying here and there across the urban battlefield wherever she was needed.

Not seeing anything that required her immediate attention, Raven allowed her thoughts to stray for a moment, “… Sean and Didi wouldn’t have had nearly this much trouble with these idiots.”

“God, no,” Passion laughed. “This is light work. Way below the notice of Death and her Prince Consort. What I wouldn’t give to see both of them flex their POWER on these fools though…”

“Hng…” The mental image made Raven shudder ever-so-slightly. “… It would be quite the sight.”

Passion scoffed, “Quite the sight? Yeah, no, it’d be Heaven on Earth. Hell for those who felt their wrath. And our panties would likely be washed away as if in a flood.”

“Must you be so crass?”

“Yes. In fact, I’ll be even more crass!”

“Please don’t… We’re still kind of in the middle of something.”

“Bah! It’s all already handled. We’re more than free enough to fantasize about Sean looking down at us with disgust and disdain and commanding us to ‘KNEEL’~”

“A-Ah. That…”

“Mmm~ Imagine him making us work for even the barest hint of his approval~ We’re not worthy of his POWER, after all. He’ll probably make us surrender ourselves completely just to get a TASTE~!”

Raven glared at her mirrored soul, “You. Are. The. Worst.”

Passion just cackled, “Yes! We’ve been bad! SO BAD~! Punish us, Sean! Spank us and choke us and make us come our submissive little brains out~!”

“You don’t even sound like me anymore,” Raven shot back flatly.

“I do too! Just the part of you that’s willing to come straight out and say that she wants to submit to Sean and live a blissful life of POWER, PLEASURE, and PASSION! C’mon, other half, when are going to go willingly crawling back to Sean and Didi on our hands and knees~?!” Passion practically whined.

“Eventually!” Raven hissed as a flicker of golden-skinned movement in the real world caught Raven’s attention. “Now. Shut. Up! Kori’s coming and she’s, like, the absolute last one I need to find out about my rampant Passion.”

“You’ll never repress me or my truth!” Passion declared dramatically. “Never again!”

Raven rolled her eyes, shoved the other half of her soul down, and prepared to meet her friend in the real world. The bright smile on Kori’s face and the lack of activity from the ground below said that things had finally been wrapped up. Kori was probably just coming to give Raven the good news.

As Raven had noted before though, today really wasn’t the Titans’ day… Before Kori could reach Raven, a portal suddenly appeared in her flight path. It was so abrupt and shocking the Kori just flew right on through it to places unknown.

Raven’s eyes narrowed. She knew a coordinated kidnapping when she saw one. Her friend had just been stolen from right under her nose. Even Passion brought herself back into focus at that. Raven as a whole was forced to make a split-second decision.

The portal lingered for a few moments after Kori disappeared. It wasn’t magical. Not one bit. Purely technological, if Raven had to guess. Which meant she was mostly out of her depth. But there was no time to fetch Vic and Raven sensed a touch of psychic contamination from the other side that told her nothing good.

“Cold… Callous… Calculating… Experimental…? Dangerous,” Raven briefly considered the psychic taint that leaked through the portal.

“We’re going after Kori,” Passion firmly decided. Raven wholeheartedly agreed.

Raven’s brief moment of consideration and assessment nearly cost her dearly. The portal began to destabilize before her eyes. Raven was forced into action, flying toward the portal as quickly as she could, propelled by darkness and shadows.

She got out a short report over their team’s comms just before she was swallowed by the closing portal and sent far, far out of range, “Kori’s been kidnapped. Going after her. Comms will likely go dark. Will reestablish contact ASAP. Find us.”

The last thing she heard from Earth was her teammates all calling her name at the same time, “Raven!/Rae!/Raven?”

Then as she’d predicted, her comms went completely silent. The technological portal fizzled around her as it finally failed with her in mid-transit. Raven didn’t make it to wherever Kori had been taken. But she could feel that she still ended up close enough.

The portal transit was practically instantaneous. Just a flash of static as Raven felt herself flung across space. Dark determination settled in her heart. She would get her friend back. Nothing would stop her from doing that and getting both of them back home in one piece.

Raven shot out the other side of the destabilizing portal, ending up not quite where she wanted to be… and exactly where she was supposed to be at the same time. Before she could blink, Raven found herself caught by strong arms in a princess carry. She stared upward, stunned to see Sean’s face and an alien city around them.

She barely managed to find her voice, “… Hello…?”

“Yes, Daddy! Oh, this is TOO perfect~!” Passion giggled maniacally in her soul and for some reason, Raven could have sworn that Sean heard her.

Sean quickly got over his own surprise at finding her in his arms, shaking his head with a chuckle, “Hello, Raven. You just couldn’t wait to see me again, could you? Well, I suppose I can’t complain about ending up with a gorgeous girl in need in my arms. You seem troubled. How can I help?”

… Raven might have been oh-so screwed, but maybe that was exactly what she needed at the moment.