Spoon: 4.12 Fish (Patreon)

Aaron’s Pokemon

- Artoria (Kirlia)
- Jeanne (Flaaffy)
- Durvasa (Mankey)
- Over Easy (Egg)

Fish 4.12

Artoria

Petalburg Woods

I teleported with my sister’s ball in hand and appeared next to Durvasa on the treetops. I released Jeanne at the juncture of the branches where the leaves were thickest so the light of the pokeball would be obscured as much as possible. Thankfully, the men were not paying attention to us, too focused on the chikorita below.

Jeanne looked around and immediately zeroed in on the unknown bird pokemon. It had a long neck and bill, not unlike the skarmory I occasionally saw. But rather than a skarmory’s dignified armor, its feathers were a mix of white and black, with a cold, cruel gaze that made me wary. It also had a strange flap along its front that I could only call a throat-sac, possibly meant for transporting other pokemon.

For her part, Jeanne had foregone all her usual silliness in favor of a quiet glower. Though she said nothing, the air around her vibrated with power, charged by the ambient static let off from her wool.

Her tail-bulb glowed in muted colors as sparks danced along the surface, a sure sign that she’d already begun to build up some power. It was one of the first lessons my lord taught her: No matter what, every spare moment, Charge. She now did it practically unconsciously, the action as meditative for her as my kata were for me.

“What’s the plan?” Durvasa grunted. He was hanging from a branch by his tail, keeping an eye out for us. “You’re the boss.”

I appreciated it. At the start, I’d expected to fend off constant challenges to my authority from Durvasa, but that wasn’t the case. He made one serious attempt and after that seemed to respect me enough to listen. For the most part, he was a remarkably disciplined pokemon, not just for a mankey, but in general.

I also remembered what my lord said: He was devious, cunning in a way that I wasn’t. Delegation was the hallmark of a good leader. So was recognizing the talents of one’s subordinates.

“Our goal is twofold,” I began. “Ultimately, we want the poachers defeated and captured by the rangers. To that end, our primary goal is to delay their escape for our lord and the rangers to arrive. Second, we must protect the chikorita below.”

“You can strike down the humans with a Teleport,” he pointed out. “That would end things quickly.”

I shook my head. “The poachers were ready for psychic searchers and prepared dark type pokemon. We should proceed assuming they are prepared for such an attack.”

“Then we should secure the duffel bag. And the chikorita should be a higher priority, otherwise they might take hostages.”

“Thank you, I hadn’t considered that.”

Jeanne looked at me with concern. “Will their dark type affect you? If you can’t use your best moves…”

“That shouldn’t be a concern. Pokemon who can fully shut down a psychic are rare,” I assured her. “These simply make it hard for me to trace them but will not inhibit my own movements.”

“Good. In that case, we need to treat the chikorita as allies. The easiest way to delay the humans is to interfere with their capture of the chikorita,” Durvasa said. “Who knows? They might be willing to fight with us.”

I nodded. A hail of Razor Leaves spun towards the poachers, only for the skuntank to shoot them down with a gout of flames. A jet of foul-smelling fluid fired from the tip of his tail, which somehow ignited in the air to form the attack. It was the strangest use of the move I’d ever seen.

The poachers’ pokemon began to surround them and the show of fire seemed to have killed their courage. The three other chikorita huddled behind the bigger one, trying to make themselves look even smaller than they were. We were out of time.

“We need to move.”

Durvasa looked down for a moment before making a spot decision. “Stick to what we know. Same formation as before. Lure them in; I should be able to do something up close.”

“Good enough. Jeanne!”

“On it!” my sister shouted, leaping down with an Electro Ball in hand. It narrowly clipped the bird’s long legs, not doing much damage but keeping him from swooping in behind the chikorita with a Wing Attack. She paid the missed attack no mind and immediately pounded the ground, setting up an Electric Terrain.

I pushed aura into my spoon and got ready to use Reflect or Light Screen to defend my teammates. A handful of clones shimmered around Jeanne and I to obscure my movements.

Fairy aura still didn’t come easily to me, I could do it, but reinforcing my spoon with it took time. In this case, I’d be the distraction here to provide my brother with the chance to land fighting type strikes against our foes.

“Shit, we’ve got company!” one of the poachers shouted.

“I know! They’re trained,” the other replied. “Look for the trainers!”

‘Shock Wave the bird,’ I told Jeanne telepathically. ‘Get them to rush our position and trust that Durvasa will make the opening count.’

‘Okay!’

Jeanne began to spark, but that didn’t deter the dark types in front of us. We weren’t the priority. The liepard rushed forward into a blur, tackling one of the chikorita by the shoulder and clamping down with a vicious bite. He cried out in pain as blood splattered along the grass.

Another chikorita, the biggest of them all by half, let out a warcry of his own, headbutting the liepard off his friend.

“Get up! Fight!” he cried, doing his best to rouse the others. Anger blazed around him, almost as brilliant as Durvasa’s own. The kecleon fired a Psybeam at him but he dodged deftly. Rather than wait for his fellows to find their courage, he rushed the lizard pokemon before a cloud of Poison Powder blanketed a small area around him. “YOUR BLOOD WILL WET THE FOREST!”

That changed the plan somewhat. His fighting spirit was commendable, but it was blatantly obvious he wasn’t trained. I had to keep him from getting jumped. I teleported up to the nuzleaf and smashed my sword into his face. It only did minimal damage, but I kept him from reinforcing his teammate.

The liepard, nuzleaf, skuntank, and foreign bird focused on me, even as the kecleon hacked and coughed in the poison. The lizard pokemon vanished into his own shadow before reappearing at his trainer’s feet.

I didn’t know those things could do that. Could I strike down the humans? Or would I leave my sister unguarded, only for him to intercept my blade?

I opted to hold my ground. Sticking together was the right answer. Even if it wasn’t, it was too late to adjust now.

A powerful surge of electricity shot into the air, filling the glade with the scent of ozone. The bird tried to dodge but there was no running from my sister’s Shock Wave.

The bird cried out in pain and I learned then that it was called bombirdier. He was scorched and singed, but still managed to climb out of range.

No matter, if he wanted to make a difference in this battle, he would have to come back down.

“Skuntank! Flamethrower! Make some mutton chops!”

The skuntank turned on a dime to obey his trainer. Fire gathered around his maw and I had a second to make a decision. Under normal circumstances, teleporting above the bird to knock it out of the fight would have been the ideal move, but…

I gave up on chasing down their aerial support in favor of protecting my sister. She remained in place, continuing to charge her electric attacks, fully confident that I would shield her. Since the bombirdier was out of range, she launched salvo after salvo, keeping the nuzleaf, liepard, and kecleon off balance with weaker but faster attacks.

I would not betray her faith in me. Psychic power bloomed along my sword. In an instant, I stood in front of her. Light Screen met Flamethrower and the noxious flames parted along the bowl of my spoon. When the torrent ended, I scattered the last of the embers with a flick of my spoon before swinging it around to point at the pokemon. The challenge couldn’t be more blatant, a wordless taunt to all: Come.

It was the liepard that answered.

Darkness clad his claws as he lunged towards me with a hair-raising yowl. Assurance? Night Slash? Some other move I was unfamiliar with? It mattered not. I readied myself to parry, not because I intended to face him head-on, but because I did not wish to alert him to the ruse.

The liepard’s blackened claws were inches from me when Durvasa struck with an ear-piercing screech. It wasn’t quite a move like my lord wanted it to be, but the sudden shriek threw off the liepard, making him stutter for that one, crucial second. Our surprise attack left a sour taste in my mouth, it wasn’t knightly, but I saw the need for it.

Durvasa struck with all the fury his species was notorious for and landed two Karate Chops, one to the back of the liepard’s neck and the other over his opponent’s eye. Both strikes were no doubt boosted with Focus Energy. Even as the liepard’s head was wrenched to the side, his Karate Chop transitioned into Scratch.

His sharp nails found purchase on his opponent’s delicate ear, tearing it to ribbons as he pulled himself up over the larger feline. The dark type had expected an easy psychic and found the single angriest pokemon in the forest instead.

Still, the liepard was a fully evolved pokemon with all the durability and resilience that implied. He spun on a dime, lashing out with long, razor-sharp claws that left black, sickle-shaped after images in the air. There was power there, a cruel, feline grace that spoke of murderous intent, but that was all he had going for him. Blind in one eye and already injured, he fought with savagery rather than skill, a savagery my teammate was eager to repay in kind.

Durvasa avoided the worst of the strikes with Detect, falling back into that floating, swaying motion that Archie the hitmonchan had taught him. Though he was forced to take a few glancing blows, he repaid each with an equally vicious Karate Chop that steadily wore down his opponent.

Where he lacked the speed to evade fully, my sword parried the claws aside. Psychic energy might be ineffective directly, but I could give my brother the opening he needed.

Until finally, he managed to grab the liepard by the tail. His muscles surged with fighting type energy as he swept the much larger opponent clear off his feet. With a roar of triumph, he hurled the liepard into a tree.

To our collective shock, the liepard wasn’t down. He rose on shaky legs but the glare of raw hatred in his eyes made it clear that this wasn’t over.

Jeanne was doing an excellent job of keeping the bombirdier away so we had a brief moment to breathe. I took the chance to teleport away, arriving just in time to stop the kecleon and nuzleaf from double-teaming the brave chikorita. The nuzleaf was nearly immune to Mana Edge, but that kecleon certainly wasn’t.

His tongue lashed out, wrapping around my spoon. There was a sticky substance that kept me from simply shaking him off. Disgusting. I’d have to spend a few hours polishing my spoon to perfection after this.

That was fine. When he pulled me into him, claws shining with Fury Swipes, I aided him. Mana Burst cracked the earth as I used his tongue like a bungee cord, pulling me along with speed that made me a little dizzy. His eyes widened in shock before my sword found his face. The psychic energy within burst violently over his head, sending him flying away.

Showing his own training, he swerved in the air and let go of my sword. His tongue then lashed out, catching a nearby branch and using the tree to swing around in a circle, returning to his trainer’s side. His beady little eyes looked at me with significantly more caution now.

That was as much time as we had before the poachers finally gave up on trying to locate our lord. “Fuck! Focus! Bombirdier, use Whirlw-”

“Gah! Would you stop that?” the bird pokemon shrieked in pain as another Shock Wave found him the moment his elevation fell. He dared not get closer lest my sister truly put him in the ground.

“Pick up the nuzleaf. Nuzleaf, use Bide!” the second poacher said. The bird obeyed, using his strange neck-sac to gather up his ally. I tried to intervene, but the chikorita had the same idea. A hail of leaves got in my way and kept me from reaching them.

The nuzleaf shone with a crimson aura, absorbing Jeanne’s electric attacks. My sibling needed no other warning, stopping her anti-air assault. Instead, she turned her attention towards the skuntank, curving her strikes so that the skuntank couldn’t simply shoot them down with Flamethrower.

He responded with Sludge Bomb at his trainer’s orders, a rapid-fire burst of noxious poisons that did a decent job of shooting down individual missiles. He wasn’t able to defend against everything and took a moderate amount of damage.

At the same time, the bird dropped the nuzleaf, sending him careening towards us. If the landing hurt, it must have been intentional because the red glow around him deepened into an ominous crimson.

“Give up and save yourself some pain,” the nuzleaf sneered at the chikorita.

To my surprise, the chikorita did not flee even as its other three cohorts turned to hide. Nor did he hesitate. Somehow, he was even angrier than the average mankey; I didn’t think that was possible.

He let out a roar before stamping the ground. A pulse of energy sank into the earth, summoning a spike of stone that struck the nuzleaf. “I WILL IMPALE YOU!”

No matter his enthusiasm, it was clear to me that he was not a trained combatant. His stone spike was slow and the nuzleaf had plenty of time to dodge, but he chose to block instead, catching the spike with a slight wince. The crimson aura around him flared as he lunged, ready to pay the chikorita back tenfold.

“He’s using Bide! Dodge!” I yelled at my newfound ally.

I tried to intervene, only for the kecleon to recover far faster than I’d expected. He shoved me back with a Fury Swipe at my side before launching a Psybeam at Durvasa. It didn’t hurt much, but it was enough to draw my attention for a split second.

Durvasa, who’d been looking to finish off the liepard, was caught by surprise. He wouldn’t be able to dodge that. I had to make a choice. And between my brother and the chikorita, that was no choice at all. I vanished again in a flicker of blue, sword up to split the Psybeam. I could only watch as our newest ally took the full brunt of the nuzleaf’s retaliatory strike.

The Bide-enhanced nuzleaf struck the chikorita with a victorious cry. A loud sound of something breaking rang through the clearing as the young pokemon flew through the air and into a tree. He was unfortunately nowhere near as resilient as the liepard.

“Good! Now use Rock Tomb! Herd the chikorita over here!” a poacher shouted. At first, I had no idea who he was talking to. There wasn’t a single rock type here, but apparently the bird could use rock moves.

We were too late to respond and a dome of stone encased the three other chikorita, keeping them trapped. The bombirdier piled on more and more rocks, keeping them weighed down with a thick shell of stone. They could probably escape with Razor Leaf, together if not separately, but fear paralyzed them.

Their eyes went to their downed fellow and I saw not a hint of fighting spirit in them. I was filled with frustration and disappointment at their cowardice but there was nothing for me to do. Father once told me that fear was the first foe we must face and I saw the truth of his words here.

The bombirdier maintained his momentum. He turned to us with his eyes full of malice and I realized that we three were alone against these five.

“Get off the Psybeam. Shadow Sneak. Get rid of that kirlia,” a poacher commanded the kecleon.

“Rock Throw. Stay out of range and bombard them. Skuntank! Support with Sludge Bomb!” the other said to their two ranged pokemon.

That got us into motion.

‘Durvasa, knock the rocks away with Swift. Jeanne on the sludge. Try to find an opening to take the bird,’ I thought at them. I had no idea if this was the right call and sorely wished my lord was here. Alas, I knew enough to not second-guess myself.

I stamped down my insecurities and charged forward to meet the kecleon, and nuzleaf. The liepard hung back, injured and looking for a chance to flank me as my brother had done to him. Three on one against dark types was hardly favorable to me, but they were all injured to some degree. I’d have to hold on. The barest flicker of pink light began to coalesce on my spoon.

Not enough, still not enough. I quickly disregarded the burgeoning fairy aura in favor of ghost. At least I knew how to use that.

I clashed with the kecleon as the nuzleaf ran past me, striking one of my clones with Headbutt. He tried to reorient, but I’d already skipped back from the kecleon to crack my spoon over his head. The ghost type aura flared, exploding with Mana Edge, but failed to do as much damage as I was used to.

The moment I turned my back, I felt the kecleon’s claws rake against me, tearing the back of my dress. I grit my teeth in pain but forced myself to step forward anyway to continue attacking the nuzleaf. I could feel each claw distinctly, the touch of ghost type aura leaving a trail of cold flames down my back. It raked at my mind, a constant distraction that threatened to dispel the gathered aura.

The nuzleaf took that chance and used Payback. Black aura coated his body before he lunged for my throat. He batted my spoon aside with one hand as the other crashed into my cheek. The darkness flooded into my mind. It threatened to overwhelm me. For a moment, the glow of aura around my weapon faded as my vision was filled with stars.

I dug in my heels and turned with the blow as my lord taught me. With the kecleon behind me, I could not step back. The kecleon was dangerous. The chikorita had poisoned him and he’d taken a full Mana Edge from me, but he was still fighting as though uninjured. I sidestepped around the nuzleaf and stomped forward, swinging the pommel of my sword upward in a close-range uppercut that left a weeping cut in the nuzleaf’s chin. I couldn’t allow them to flank me again.

The nuzleaf fought like a berserker. There was no form or discipline to his actions. He knew moves, a fair few like Payback, Razor Leaf, and Bide, but had little in the way of technique. I felt humiliated, being pressed by an opponent I would have had no trouble defeating under normal circumstances.

I danced around them both, putting the nuzleaf between me and the kecleon. It was the only way I could face them together; I’d have to make sure the kecleon didn’t flank me again. I used Double Team one more time and got ready to teleport.

As much as I wished otherwise, I was unable to keep the liepard from simply dodging around me. He had murder in his slitted eyes as he rushed towards Durvasa, the one who’d almost certainly given him a concussion. A telepathic warning allowed my brother to only take a glancing blow from his claws.

He immediately gave up on trying to shoot down the bombirdier’s Rock Throws. Instead, he cunningly positioned himself beneath the liepard, using the much larger pokemon as a living shield against his own teammate’s barrage.

The liepard let out a wordless shriek of rage as stones pelted his body. Then, just before he could gather himself, Durvasa punched one of the stones with an aura-enhanced fist, shattering it right in front of the liepard’s face. A dozen shards lanced out, burying themselves into the feline’s eyes and choking his throat.

That was the good news. However, the bombirdier quickly repositioned himself and began his barrage anew, this time against Jeanne.

At this rate, we’d be worn down. I was confident in my ability to face any one of them, but together? While they had ranged support? It was beyond my current abilities.

Jeanne must have noticed we were being overwhelmed because I heard her shout.

“Look away!” my sister cried.

Neither I nor Durvasa questioned it. At this point, we knew her well enough to know what was coming. Jeanne raised both paws to the sky, horns and tail glowing with power. She did what she did best: She praised the sun. A brilliant blast of white light emanated from my sister, as if a star had descended upon the glade.

“Gah! I’m going to eat you alive!” the nuzleaf cried in pain. Jeanne was bright for me. I couldn’t even imagine what a nocturnal pokemon thought of her Flash.

Most of the poachers’ teams were similarly affected, though to lesser degrees, and we wasted no time capitalizing on the opening. Most, not all. The kecleon further proved himself adaptable. He heard Jeanne shout and ducked behind the nuzleaf, avoiding a direct hit of my sister’s Flash.

Durvasa struck like a sharpedo that smelled blood in the water. Even while the liepard recoiled, a vicious Karate Chop found its jugular, leaving it hacking and coughing. He then jumped onto his head, climbing just beyond the nape of the neck. The liepard thrashed wildly, bucking like a berserk taurus, but no one ever said getting a mankey to let go of his perch was easy.

All the while, Durvasa rained down a continuous stream of hammerfists onto the back of his opponent’s head. Though he was far beyond the point of caring about precise martial arts forms, each strike was laced with the distinct glow of fighting type aura. It didn’t take long for the liepard to slump forward in blissful unconsciousness.

That thing was strong, probably one of the poachers’ ace pokemon. I made a note to congratulate my brother for the accomplishment later.

Jeanne ducked out completely, opting to disengage from the Electric Terrain. She’d gotten her use out of it and though she likely could have tried to snipe the bombirdier, he was quite far away and her bolts tended to dissipate into the atmosphere rapidly, losing a fair bit of power. Instead of getting a free hit on her opponents, she began using Agility, choosing to build her mobility.

That was something that confused me about my lord’s training: My sister often acted as our ranged support, our “ranged DPS” to use my lord’s phrasing. She used Electric Terrain and Charge to build up a locus of power and behaved almost like a stationary turret.

Yet at the same time, my lord had me teach her Agility and she learned Electro Ball, a move that benefited from increased speed.

I didn’t understand. The two fighting styles seemed antithetical. Still, I could not deny that it proved useful now as she dodged a hail of hastily thrown rocks from the bombirdier. Knowing my sister would be able to remain mobile despite all evidence to the contrary thus far was a weight off my mind.

I didn’t stay idle either. I used those precious several seconds to focus. I had to end things now, before the skuntank and bombirdier refocused on us. When I struck again, it was with every intent to finish it. I couldn’t have Durvasa be the only one to score a knockout here; he’d gloat for days.

The nuzleaf was not my match. Blows rained down fast enough that he could barely register them. I smoothly ducked beneath the kecleon’s tongue and Fury Swipes before teleporting to the other side of the nuzleaf, constantly putting him between me and his ally.

Almost without noticing, I sank into familiar kata, movements I’d honed and mastered at my lord’s side. He’d once called it a moving meditation, motions so ingrained in the body that they brought with them a nearly trance-like state of awareness.

Then it began. A light, a spark, the slightest flare of pink in a sea of ghostly violet. Then another spark, and another.

There was much I disliked about the fae. I disliked how mercurial they could be. I disliked the way their whims seemed to change with the phases of the moon, how they lived with such a selfish perspective. They seemed so alien to me at times, even while I counted myself among their number. And yet, it was that same selfishness that had drawn me in on that night atop the waves.

To be a fae was to be selfish. It was to chase one’s desires with a near obsessive passion. Thus was my dream: I would become a peerless knight. Damn my gender. Damn my natural typing. None of it mattered in the face of my determination. I would prove it so. I would slash apart anything and anyone in the pursuit of this dream.

My lord liked to tell me stories, stories of fictional heroes and villains alike. I was named for one such hero: Artoria Pendragon, the King of Knights, a young girl saddled with responsibilities she had not understood. By the time she fully comprehended the weight of her destined sword, it was too late. But rather than cast Caliburn aside, she embraced her role for the good of her kingdom, becoming a paragon of knighthood that resonated deeply with me.

She held in her hands the Ever-Distant Utopia, a sheath perhaps even more precious than her Sword of Promised Victory. Lord Aaron once said that it was as much a metaphor for what lay beyond the horizon as it was a tangible sheath. It said that though she was unbeatable on the field of battle, it was the act of sheathing her blade, the peace promised by Avalon, that she cherished most of all.

Because that was what Avalon was in the end: a goal, the dream of a young girl, the resting place of the King of Knights. She had her Avalon, her dream, and like her, I had mine.

And right now, this nuzleaf was in the way of that dream.

To be a knight was to be a protector. A shield for the defenseless. A sword for the wicked. A beacon for the lost. The code of chivalry was at its heart a paradoxical one, to seek peace by drawing the sword, perfect for a fae.

Faster and faster I struck, even as more and more motes of pink light coalesced on my blade. The silvery hue of my spoon rapidly gave way, revealing a swirl of fairy aura that physically burned my opponent.

For the first time, I’d fully succeeded. A fairy type sword. My dream, my own Ever-Distant Utopia, was before me, and I would not be denied. Immense pride swelled in my chest as my new sword cleaved through the nuzleaf’s guard to deliver one final blow.

Then a thought sprang to mind. A name: Excali-Spoon. I could even hear my lord’s voice calling it that. So ingrained was his ridiculous name in my conscience that it was on the tip of my tongue, but I just barely prevented myself from shouting it out.

The thought almost made me stumble in surprise. Even as I brought the fae-sword down on the nuzleaf, I could imagine my lord’s smug smirk.

Heedless of my inner crisis, I continued my kata, the nuzleaf reduced to nothing more than a training dummy at this point. He’d do nicely to vent my frustrations upon.

Author’s Note

I hope I did that fight some justice. Sure, it only took Aaron four minutes to get there, but four minutes is a fucking eternity in a fight. I decided to give everyone several “rounds” in D&D-speak. I wanted to focus on the pokemon. We’ll hop back to Aaron’s POV next chapter.

If it came off as a bit confusing, that was intentional on my part. I wanted to make it obvious that this wasn’t a structured battle with normal rules. Just about the only nod to the rules is that Artoria isn’t using Teleport to assassinate the humans (she’s not that mean, yet).

Other than that, it was my attempt at writing a (still kinda low-powered) skirmish. The poachers’ pokemon weren’t very strong, but neither are Artoria & co. They’re both considerably stronger than the regular wild pokemon though and I hope it shows.

Animal fact? Sure. Chameleons don’t actually change color to camouflage themselves. They’re already brown and green; they don’t need more camo. Instead, studies suggest they change colors for one of two reasons: to get laid or to cool off.

Chameleon males will change into bright colors based on mood, some reds and blues, to attract mates. Scientists also found that chameleons change color according to temperature, suggesting that being cold-blooded, they use this as a means of regulating their rate of heat absorption.

If you really want the best camo specialist in the animal kingdom, look at the cuttlefish.

Bonus fact: Koreans eat cuttlefish live, called san-nakji. It’s usually dipped in a spicy, vinegary sauce made using gochujang, along with sesame oil. It still squirms in your mouth and you can die choking on it (because the suckers cling to your throat).

Honestly? It’s not awful. An acquired taste for sure, and definitely not my favorite seafood, but I wouldn’t turn my nose up if someone gave me a bite either. It’s especially nice with some cold soju. I’m really sad that there aren’t any truly good Korean seafood restaurants in the DC area.