ACL Omake: Let's Play: Legacy of Steel, Part the Second (Patreon)

Let's Play: Legacy of Steel, Part the Second

Amy Dallon

By the third day of our gaming nights, we'd established a pattern. Vicky and I did our homework, grabbed some snacks, and crawled onto my bed so we could huddle together with our laptops. Vicky had always been a bit of a geek, appearances aside; she used to love Uber and Leet streams before they started doing stupid shit like beating up prostitutes.

It was nice, having the excuse to hang out with my sister more like this. I'd never been much into games and the like so the chance to share her hobby with her was great, even if Blake was embarrassing.

We'd more or less decided on our final teams. The game allowed a party of four so it wasn't always optimal to have Nike tag along with Aimee each time. Vicky favored Knightly and Shells because fire was one of the better offensive typings while I liked using Sparkles and some spider-girl called Theresa. She didn't have much in the way of stats but she evolved early at level 20 and had some of the best area denial moves with her webs and poison.

"No idea how you use the spider, Ames. She can't even poison steel types and Kaiber's gang are all steels."

I shrugged. "Skill issue. Just spam Sticky Web. It gives Aimee enough time to kite with Fire Punch."

"If you had a tank like Shells, you wouldn't need to kite."

"I do, I have Nike. You're the one who benched your own avatar."

"Still can't believe he made me a pink gremlin."

"She's cute."

"There are literally dozens of memes about Nike breaking stuff on accident."

"There were already dozens of memes about you breaking stuff on accident," I pointed out, perfectly reasonably.

"Well your boyfriend's still a jerk."

"Definitely."

Vicky looked through her pokedex, a roster of all available pokemon she'd ever talked to. "Say, Mr. Black said that Blackwing could evolve with something called a dusk stone, right?"

"Yeah, so?"

She nudged her laptop my way. "Ever since we beat Kaiber, Parsnip acquired one from her shop."

"Oh, so she has. It's crazy expensive though. Isn't that most of your money?"

"It is… I'm gonna see if I can attack Parsnip…"

"That's probably not a good idea."

"Meh, I saved befo-IT AUTOSAVED! Why?"

I watched as Parsnip the beautifly, some kind of butterfly-thing with multicolored wings, beat the ever-loving shit out of Vicky's entire party.

Quiver Dance was patently ridiculous, making even moves that should be super effective, like Knightly's Flamethrower, do almost no damage. She also had Bug Buzz for a massive AOE, Air Slash that seemed to always crit, and Shadow Ball for extreme range. Then, when Vicky looked like she was making a bit of progress, Roost fixed her right up again.

Vicky even received a special game over screen, with Mr. Black tapping his hind leg and shooting her a smug grin. "Maybe you shouldn't pick on shopkeepers, hmm? You never know when one's stronger than you'd expect."

"That is such bullshit. It even went on my record," she complained. "And everything in the shop is more expensive now…"

"Hahahaha, that's hilarious," I cackled. "I'm pretty sure Parsnip is supposed to be Parian, what with her interest in weaving silk and comments about fashion. Or maybe that girl who made his costume. He probably included that as a warning."

"Not fair. So not fair. Stop laughing at me."

"Nope. You're usually good at video games so it's funny watching you fail."

"Some sister you are," she grumbled.

I wrapped an arm around her in a side-hug. "I'm a great sister. Who else is going to keep your ego in check."

"Meanie."

X

The kiddie gloves came off after we took down Kaiber the bisharp. All the mobs became much stronger, many of them with decent movesets that complemented the pokemon. We started seeing them in groups that mirrored a balanced party composition as well, tanks with DPS, an occasional healer or some other support towards the end of the dungeons.

Mr. Black, the exposition machine that he was, did some snooping and found that the stolen materials had been taken upriver. Aimee, helpful bunny that she was, of course agreed to see this through to the end.

In that light, the Underwaters stood out because of how silly they were. They were self-declared "river pirates," though every NPC Aimee met treated them like nuisances at worst. Really, they were local tourist attractions.

The "pirate crew" was led by Puff the koffing, who only knew how to use Poison Gas, and made up of Suave the wynaut, who only talked in terrible pickup lines; Tales the purrloin, whose only move was Growl; and Woof, the only member of the team with combat-viable moves. The crew's mooks were Woof's houndour pack and they were honestly more threatening than the "officers."

After beating them up for making a nuisance of themselves, Puff the koffing admitted that they were paid by Quail the ekans to waylay travelers along the river. Why? He didn't know, only that Quail paid well and had a bunch of metal shipped up the mountain.

"How suspicious," Mr. Black said. "Could it be?"

"What is it?" Aimee asked.

"You know those Origin Pyres we've been stopping at?"

(Oh, no. I know how these things go.) "Let me guess, the one for steel types is up on the peak, isn't it?"

"Yup."

"And there is something buried that only a ton of steel type stuff can awaken? Or a sacrifice?"

"Smart cookie. Well, maybe not buried. More like it's sealed and the sacrifice will summon it."

"Can we not play the pronoun game? What's 'it' here? Quail's not going to summon Arceus or something, right?"

"Hahahaha, of course not. The Origin wouldn't show up for just any ol' reason. No, he is likely trying to summon Registeel, the Titan of the Iron Age."

"And that's… bad…?"

"Very. The titans are nigh unstoppable. Who knows what Quail will do with that kind of power?"

"I do," Tales the purrloin interjected. "Watch, he's going to establish his own empire. He'll rule with an iron fist, subjugating all pokemon under his nonexistent heel."

"And you know this how?"

"I know everything. Say, take me with you. If you do, I bet I can tell you all sorts of useful things."

This left us at yet another crossroads. A system message popped up, informing us that if we accepted Tales into our party, she would occupy the fourth slot and we would not be able to dismiss her until her evolution at level 20. Not too far, but enough that it'd be an inconvenient grind, especially with a crippled team.

"You want her or should I?" I asked Vicky.

"Well, the Underwaters are parodies of the Undersiders, right?"

"Definitely."

"Why can't we have Woof instead? Fire-doggo is cute. Fine, I'll take her. I already have all the debuffs because I tried to beat up Parsnip anyway. Let's just hope she gives you something useful for evolving her."

X

She did. Tales the purrloin apparently had a respectable knowledge of current events. She told Aimee about the "Witch of Night," a mismagus who guarded a dusk stone, which made Vicky rage at the game for a few minutes.

"You could have bought it from Parsnip," I pointed out. "No one made you try to mug her."

"He was baiting me!"

"He was."

"So lame. A game shouldn't include tests of character."

"How much do you want to bet that half of PHO is raging for the same reason?"

"No thanks, I like my money."

"At least honchkrow is a good pokemon?"

"Yeah, really squishy but damn is Blackwing fast. And hits hard too."

Funnily enough, that sidequest was also the first introduction to the "Six Saints," a group of six pokemon from the "Age of Heroes" who saved the world. The Witch of Night was easily the hardest boss we'd faced and it was clear that she was supposed to be a secret challenge for tryhards like Vicky.

"Just buy the dumb thing from Parsnip, you idiots. She's old, from the Age of Heroes. Probably not as strong as the Six Saints, but holy crap you're stupid for trying to steal from her," Mr. Black had said.

"How do you know her?" Nike had asked. "Are you also from the Age of Heroes, Mr. Black?"

"..."

"You are, aren't you?"

"That's a long story, kid. Let's just get a move on."

X

My sister had a much better team now and we were ready to take on Karp the gyarados, a greedy sea serpent who was apparently "not a real dragon."

"Say, Ames?"

"Sup, sis?"

"Why is Menagerie 'Mr. Black?' I mean, I get that he's an eevee because you like eevee, but the name is weird."

I paused. Of course, I knew that "Mr. Black" was just a terrible reference to his real name, but no one else knew that. What would he say? "Who knows? He's weird like that. Maybe he just likes the color."

"Watch, he's going to be the secret final boss. We know he's probably from the Age of Heroes so he'll be the 'sum of all colors' like type energy. That's what black is, right?"

"Maybe. I wouldn't put it past him to make himself an overpowered secret boss."

"It fits with his power too, since he can turn into these pokemon things. You should ask him."

"Would you want to know? I mean, you're always saying you don't want any spoilers."

"True… Never mind, don't ask him. I'm just going to prepare my heart for having to murder a cute eevee to complete the game or something."

X

Things picked up after that. Karp was as challenging as the mismagus, but for different reasons. She seemed to know an attack of every type to hit your team for super effective damage no matter the composition. She was also a literal ghost, one that couldn't even be hit by normal or fighting type moves. I didn't get trigger the sidequest for my own Aimee, but I was glad for it. Who needed Blackwing anyway? She could stay a murkrow forever.

On the flip side, Karp was a brute. He used a combination of Dragon Dance, Waterfall, and Earthquake to deal an absurd amount of damage. Staying out of range was nearly impossible thanks to his huge size and good speed. Hell, I even had to switch my team composition and grind up 3iZ and Sparkles a bit to have more electric types.

After Karp went down, the entire mountain trembled. At first, we thought Mr. Black had been lying and beating a "dragon" had some consequences on the mountain or something, but nope. The mountaintop crumbled, revealing what had to be Registeel.

It stood taller than Behemoth. The shadow it cast over the valley was so large that it may as well have been nighttime. Each of its giant fingers looked like the base of a skyscraper.

Then the cutscene closed the camera view up top, where a tiny ekans, still the laziest name ever, cackled atop the titan's head. He rambled some nonsense about ultimate power and control and swore he'd conquer the world to usher in a new world order. Full on kooky, Saturday morning cartoon villain kind of speech. I didn't know, he was probably bullied in pokemon kindergarten or something.

The following fight was clearly one we weren't meant to win. Registeel's defenses were insane, to the point that only fighting, fire, and ground type moves had any effect at all.

After barely escaping with their lives, Aimee, Nike, and co. were greeted by Mr. Black, who told them that their only hope was to find the Six Saints. Specifically, their leader, "Martial Lord" Luca, could help Aimee reach new heights.

The party had then split up. Some, like Knightly, now an armarouge with the final Auspicious Armor piece from Karp's treasury, returned to the village to lead the resistance. Others went to train on their own. It was a bittersweet moment, knowing that this leg of the journey was for Aimee alone.

The exposition was on the longer side, but it was a good chance to hear more about the world Blake made.

The Six Saints, along with a "Stranger from a Distant Star," saved the world when Time, Space, and Distortion waged war against one another. The primordial dragons threatened the very foundation of existence until Arceus himself intervened, empowering the saints to bring stability to the land.

It was all a very stereotypical hero's tale, one that apparently happened in the distant past. Though rather cliche, it really sounded like a plausible myth and made the world feel more alive.

I wasn't blind. The story also mirrored Aimee's own to a startling degree: A traveler from abroad who makes fast friends with the locals, becomes a hero, and goes on adventures with seemingly cascading implications. Was Blake trying to tell me something?

"Question is, what's he doing sitting around on some mountaintop when there's a legendary pokemon stomping around?" Aimee groused.

"That's a good question, digital-me," I said. Kung fu trainers were tropes, but that didn't mean they were good tropes, damnit. If this "Martial Lord" was super strong, he should get off his butt and solve the problem.

When my character finally reached Luca, it was atop the highest peak. There, in the Snowpoint Temple, sat a blue, jackal-like creature I'd seen a few times now.

"Luca the lucario? Really?" Vicky sighed. There was no defending that nickname so I didn't even try. Blake's naming sense was something else. "Think he's really as strong as Menagerie keeps saying he is in real life?"

"Maybe…? I don't know. I doubt it though."

On screen, Luca explained that he could not leave the temple. He had volunteered to remain here, guarding the Jewel of Life, whatever that was, from all who might steal it. Apparently, it was a big deal, big enough that Arecus himself entrusted him with the task and not even the awakening Legend was a good enough reason to abandon his duty.

That neatly explained why he wouldn't pull his fuzzy thumbs out of his ass, but then he revealed something else: mega evolution. It was the super powerup that the hero inevitably acquired. Three trials followed, each with some lesson about the power of bonds and friendship and whatnot.

Congratulations, you have achieved the fabled power of mega evolution. You have acquired the achievement [Not a Bunny Suit]. Your karma points are being tallied. Please wait…

You possess the achievement [Way of the Drunken Master]. You have learned Fake Out. You have learned Teeter Dance.

There was more, but I barely read any of it. I was still trying to process the stupid mega lopunny, a pokemon that looked like it belonged in furry porn. Not only were its ears tied up in little ringlets, it had stockings. Torn stockings.

And this was supposed to be me…

"I'm going to kill him," I gritted out.

"Pft, Ames, something you want to tell me?" Vicky said. She was grinning, so wide it nearly split her face. "No shame, sis. You can tell me. I won't laugh… much…"

"He's fucking with me."

"Ooh, go on-"

"Not like that!"

I tried to shove my sister off my bed, and failed miserably. We tussled and made a mess of my blankets before finally settling back down.

The karma points were a set of secret values the game tracked in the background, only made apparent to the player now, at the climax of the game. If the player was a "virtuous soul," Luca would go above and beyond, giving Aimee the chance to learn Aura Sphere. It was Luca's signature move, one with great range, never missed, and could be fired with almost no cooldown even in the midst of using other abilities.

Vicky, for trying to mug Parsnip and steal the dusk stone from the Witch of Night, didn't quite qualify. I, despite being "a bit of a lush," got to learn the move for helping everyone I met. Her pouting face wasn't enough of a consolation for the fact that Menagerie turned my avatar into a stripper-bunny.

X

Vicky and I played through a few more quests, mostly about helping people in a Quail-ruled empire. We met a few members of the Resistance that Knightly introduced Aimee to, including Lance the dragonite and Diantha the gardevoir. Completing the missions they assigned was a good way to get used to mega evolution and evolve a few of my teammates.

A few of them seemed nonsensical, including a quest about reading bedtime stories to orphaned exeggcute. There was another about helping out a chansey who worked at a hospital, stopping a runaway revavroom that was probably supposed to be Squealer, and making an ice rink right in front of Pint-Size's orchard with the help of a friendly lapras, because Blake would never stop making fun of Vista.

The final battle was an epic showdown that required Aimee and co. to blind Registeel's seven eyes. Hordes of steel and poison type pokemon assaulted the player while Registeel made a set of grand attacks that made the screen shake.

"It feels like playing Shadow of the Colossus," Vicky said.

"I have no idea what that is."

"Only the best game imported through Aleph. You hunt giant monsters like these to save your girlfriend or wife or something. The idea is similar to this bossfight."

"Neerrrdddd."

"Shush, you."

"What would people at school think if they found out you're an unredeemable gamer?"

"Guys would think I'm even hotter. Girls wouldn't care."

"Ugh. Yeah, probably."

On screen, the game cut out to a cinematic cutscene of Aimee kicking a hole straight through Registeel's central eye, banishing the titan back to… wherever it came from. Quail was defeated and peace was restored to the land, wrapping up the main quest.

Congratulations, you have completed the game's story. You have acquired the achievement [Ra-Boots Up Yours].

Tallying final results…

Nike has utilized Gigaton Hammer 100x throughout her journey. She truly has learned nothing, hasn't she? Please, mind the hammer. You have acquired the achievement [For Every Nail, a Hammer].

You are [cherished friends] with the team that defeated Registeel. You have acquired the achievement [The Friends Made Along the Way].

You lit every Origin Pyre throughout the journey. You have acquired the achievement [One Who Honors the Origin…].

You took time out of your journey to read to orphans. You have acquired the achievement [...May Shape the Future].

The end credits were… short. Instead of a list of names and job titles, it was simply Mr. Black talking directly to the player. He made a final call for donations to charities, may of which were represented in the game in some stripe, which explained the orphanage, hospital, and a few other locations throughout the story.

"One last congratulations to you, dear player. But the journey isn't over. The achievements you have collected can be viewed in the [Achievements] tab. New achievements may be acquired through the [New Game+] mode, though they will be more challenging this time around," he said. "Finally, I have enlisted the help of my good friend, Hoopa, who has volunteered his services to open the [PvP Arena]. Test the bonds between your team and may your deeds echo throughout worlds.

"One final note. I have created a text file on your desktop. It contains my last will and testament. If my girlfriend kills me, or turns me into a bunny so she can do unspeakable things to me, please take it to a trustworthy attorney. Best regards, player."

"I can't," I told her, closing my laptop. I was too tired to even get mad at that one final dig. I'd be properly upset when I wasn't so sleepy. "I'm just not the PvP kinda gal, Vicky. You can compete if you want."

"Hmm, nah. Maybe next time," she yawned. "Although… Hahaha, look, Ames."

I glanced over at her laptop.

PvP Arena Rankings (W/L/D)

1. Winged_One (Spheal of Approval): 194/0/0

2. Dragon (Spheal of Approval): 182/4/2

3. Countess of Hats (Spheal of Approval): 98/1/1

4. Toy Soldier: 98/32/4

5. CR33D: 94/22/3

…

I let out a tired sigh. Of course Dragon would obsess over a game Menagerie made. I knew he worked with her over the Coil case; he must have gotten her attention if she was keeping tabs on him like this.

Although, that did make me curious: Who was Winged_One and how did they have a better win-loss ratio than Dragon?

Author's Note

This feels clunky. Trying to force a game that's supposed to take a few days to play through into a single chapter's worth of content doesn't feel right. Still, hope you got a few laughs out of it. I tried to insert as many of the inside jokes from chat as I could, but I'm sure I missed a few.

Shadow of the Colossus came out in 2005. It's a great game as a stand-alone piece so I can see it doing really well as an Aleph import on Earth-Bet.

That was a lot harder than a usual chapter. I don't know if I'll do this for any other PMD game. We'll see.