ACL: 18. A Normal Journey is a good fic, give it a read. (Patreon)

Chapter 18: A Normal Journey is a good fic, give it a read.

Brockton Bay, NH, USA
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Type: Normal

I flopped down into bed, still thinking about how the fight with the Empire went. The PRT had Kaiser, but it was far from over. If Giovanni taught me anything, it was just how deeply embedded a criminal enterprise could be with the local government. I didn't know exactly how he'd manage it, but I didn't doubt that Kaiser would likely escape. He probably had a plan pre-arranged in the event of his capture.

The worst part of it all was that all three of Kaiser's lieutenants, Purity, Hookwolf, and Krieg, were out and about. Any one of them, or all of them, could launch independent schemes to free him.

I groaned, apparently a little too loudly. "Shit, this is Johto all over again…"

Mark dropped his head down from the top bunk. "You say something, dude?"

"Nah, don't worry about it. Been writing a story and trying to work out a plot that doesn't sound too cookie-cutter, you know?"

"Nope, not a clue. But you do you, Blake. Night."

"Night, Mark."

It really was like Johto though. After Giovanni disappeared, Archer, Petrel, Proton, and Ariana did their level best to advance the mission of Team Rocket. None of them were as powerful as Giovanni, with only Archer himself coming close, but they scattered and worked almost independently of each other. It was like whacking diglett.

Every one of them had their own plans and unique idiosyncrasies that made their captures difficult. Petrel was an infiltration specialist who could fool even trained psychics. Ariana was a research head whose relative passiveness made her difficult to track. Proton was a cruel son of a bitch who had no problems threatening to detonate weezing in civilian areas. And Archer, Archer was the most stereotypical crime lord, but his ability to mask criminal activity beneath legitimate enterprises made him unexpectedly slippery.

Those four were some of the most dangerous people I'd ever met, not for their combat abilities, but because they were genuinely competent, pragmatic, and had the kind of goal-driven mindset that let them tolerate losses with a careless shrug so long as they achieved their aims in the end.

I wondered if the three Empire lieutenants would be as competent. I really hoped not. If they all tried individually to free Kaiser, there were good odds that at least one would succeed.

Then again, them going rogue and splintering the Empire's remaining capes could be just as bad. They were Rocket Executives. I was Lance. Except, I lacked the administrative and governmental resources he had. I now understood his frustration better.

Sighing, I wondered if this should be my problem in the first place.

Strictly speaking, I'd done what I set out to do… mostly… Kaiser was in PRT hands. I'd put the fear of Arceus in the rest of them. They'd surely think twice about a focused attack like today's.

My focus ought to be on Coil, right?

With Thomas Calvert in the PRT, there was even the possibility that he'd free Kaiser just to distract me if he knew I was coming for him. Was it right then for me to assume Kaiser's freedom was a given and go for Coil first?

I almost didn't notice as the clock struck midnight and my type shifted. I was… normal. Normal type pokemon were said to be the most versatile of all. They could learn an incredible range of moves and could thrive in practically any biome. From the speed demons like pidgeot to damage sponges like snorlax, normal types really ran the gamut of pokemon. They weren't the best at any one thing, but their flexibility gave me plenty of options.

I had my answer by morning. When I said normal types could thrive in any biome, I very much meant it. As it turned out, that included digital space, because pokemon were just fucky like that.

Porygon-2, the virtual pokemon, was a project by Silph Co. to create a pokemon for space exploration and planetary development. It was made in conjunction with the Mossdeep Space Center, but ultimately failed to live up to expectations.

That said, its AI was still the most advanced in the pokemon world and I didn't think I'd have any trouble going anywhere on earth if I wanted to travel along the internet.

I left for school like normal but thought better of it. I could skip. Odds were, Mrs. Wells would receive a call from the principal asking where I was, but my attendance thus far was perfect. Me missing one class wasn't going to kill me. I could deal with getting chewed out for fifteen minutes if it meant I could have more time as porygon-2.

This world ran on the internet. It relied on technology in ways my old world did not. The more time I had to work, the better. Who knew when I'd have this specialization again?

I took a short jog to the south ferry station. There were three other entrances I'd built yesterday, but I didn't think it was a good idea to use them without an emergency. They were meant to be hidden after all.

There, in the old space dug out from the back of a supply closet, I found Emily. She was huddled into a sleeping bag and had just now begun to open her eyes.

"Morning," I called. "Did I wake you?"

"Hmm? Blake? What are you doing here?"

"Decided to skip school for a bit."

"Oh. Okay. Wait-what? Aren’t you the goody-two-shoes type? Shouldn't you be in school?"

"I think you have a distorted view of me, Em. But you're right; I'm not skipping for fun." I gestured to the campsite portable battery I bought for her. "This thing charged?"

"Yeah. Did you need it?"

I pulled out my laptop and hooked it into the charging port. "Yeah. Can I have it for the day?"

She shrugged and waved me off. "Sure. I have plenty to do anyway. What's going on?"

"Coil. I think I can do some investigation and don't want to be disturbed."

"Gotcha. I can make myself scarce."

I watched Emily gargle with some mouthwash before heading outside to the pier to spit into the sea. I wondered what it said about her that she didn't even think to question it. She just took my words at face value and that trust made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

"Well, let's get to work. Shift, porygon-2!"

I became a balloon duck. No other word for it. I was now a rubber duck of some vague description. Oddly colorful with an exterior that felt like tough but smooth plastic.

As always, the biggest change came where my mind was concerned. Porygon-2 were developed for space exploration and planetary development. And that meant it was crammed chalk full of useful information. The latest tech of the pokemon world flooded my mind, along with some hard-coded restrictions even I couldn't break.

It was… a lot of data. More information than anything I could have imagined. I had it all, from spaceships to hydroponic agriculture, it was like every accomplished mind in the pokemon world, or at least the ones in Silph Co., Devon Corp., and the Mossdeep Space Center, compressed the sum total of their knowledge into my skull.

Unfortunately, that knowledge came with the instinctive realization that I could not "fork" or replicate myself in any way. It also came with a near void in my emotions. As artificial, virtual life, porygon as a species just didn't feel in the same way I did.

That wasn't to say they couldn't have emotions at all, of course they could, the mere fact that they had aura implied some emotional capability. But it was muted, both familiar and alien.

I shook my head. I had a vague plan. So long as the emotional weight didn't keep me from functioning like the time I turned into mimikyu, I didn't actually care.

I hovered in front of my screen. Gently, I touched the screen with my bill. To my surprise, my snout sank into the screen as though the screen was a tranquil pond. I wasn't sure why I was surprised, all other innate talents of my pokemon had come instinctively before, but I was. I felt that self-digitization like this shouldn't have been so easy.

Yet, it was. I was hardly in a position to complain about it.

I let out a happy trill and began to swim through the computer's code.

And wasn't that impossible to describe?

How does one describe a world of zeroes and ones? It was simultaneously like diving into a pool and sifting through sand. This world's computers weren't like those high-tech marvels found in Silph Co. They were uniquely designed to house porygon, these weren't.

So, I did what all porygon did when met with inferior tech. I built my own channels. I was literally constructing a digital "waterway" for me to swim through with one goal in mind: Dragon.

That was the crux of my plan. I could, maybe, disable Coil's bombs as porygon-2.. I couldn't rely on having this form though, and if I acted against him now, I'd only tip him off. Moreover, I didn't trust anyone else to close all possible futures for him so I wanted to be more active on the ground than in cyberspace.

So, that left me with the only other option of recruiting a tinker to shut down Coil's contingency options. There was Armsmaster in Brockton Bay of course, but I didn't trust the man to be a competent hacker. And if I was going out of the city anyway, why not look for the best?

With a cheerful quack, I entered the internet.

I thought about the best way to contact Dragon. From my research, I knew that Earth-Bet wasn't like my world. It had a hostile first impression of AIs thanks to the Machine Army in Eagleton and Nilbog in Elisburg. Artificial life, organic or cyber, was very much frowned on and it was one of the surefire warnings given to all tinkers: If you can build an AI, don't.

I hoped Dragon wasn't so prejudiced, but I couldn't take the risk. If she found out what porygon were, I feared that she'd declare some sort of cyberwar and that was the last thing I needed.

So, I decided to not tell her at all. Instead of directly heading to Dragon's website and knocking on her proverbial door, I used PHO to send her a private message.

Menagerie_Official: Knock knock. Dragon? Lizzy Overlord of Vancouver? Oh Mighty Hoarder of Tinkertech? Weird Shut-In Craftswoman of Megazords? Proof Lizard People have Conquered the World?

I expected to have to wait for a while, but not four minutes later, she responded. I suspected she had some sort of program watching her inbox, some kind of mail filtration system perhaps?

I glanced at the absolute shitshow that was my own mailbox. At a glance, looking at the first thousand, more than 90% was nonsense asking who "Emily" was, if gardevoir had a dick, etc. The others seemed mostly about healing.

I really wanted a mail-sorter…

Dragon: I feel like one of those is not like the others.

Menagerie_Official: Nonsense. All are complimentary, I assure you.

Dragon: Of course. What can I do for you? I'm afraid I'm a little busy.

Menagerie_Official: I need your help, oh scaly one. From one glorious hero to another.

Dragon: I'm always happy to help a hero. I've heard good things about the work you do in Brockton Bay. But I can hardly devote time to send a suit there.

Menagerie_Official: I know. I need your hacking expertise actually.

Dragon: Hmm… I don't mean to be rude, but I hope you understand that I will now begin recording this conversation. I cannot permit you to do anything illegal. If you attempt to do so, I will be forced to stop you.

Menagerie_Official: I understand. See, it's like this…

I told her everything over the course of an hour. Or, as close to everything as I could get. "Future Sight" became "reliable sources" and psychic collaboration with New Wave and Emily became "independent investigation," but beyond that, I told her everything.

Coil. His power. His base beneath the Forsberg Gallery and its self-destruct contingencies. His intention to kidnap Dinah Alcott.

Menagerie_Official: So yeah… You can see why I need your help.

Dragon: I see. And you cannot go to the PRT because he is already entrenched in the local branch.

Menagerie_Official: Yup. Anything I tell any Protectorate hero, I should assume will get back to Coil eventually.

Dragon: That is troublesome. And you said you have New Wave to assist?

Menagerie_Official: That's right. I figured even if you dismantle his bomb, someone needs to be on the ground to take down his mercenaries, protect Dinah, and actually capture the snake.

Dragon: You understand, I'm going to need more proof than just your "reliable sources," Menagerie. Despite your work as a hero, you have done little to suggest you are an investigator.

Menagerie_Official: Any chance you can investigate Coil with some super-program and see I'm not lying?

Dragon: Not without a warrant. I will not act in any illegal manner, Menagerie. Please do not ask again or I will have to assume you are not jesting.

I sighed. She was unexpectedly frustrating to deal with. Then again, she managed the Birdcage, probably helped manage PHO, and who knew what else. She held a position of trust in the world that was not too far from Legend's, and probably with more responsibility now that I thought about it.

I'd be leery of doing anything even remotely illegal in her shoes, too. Taking that into account, I wracked my code for any alternative ways to convince her.

Menagerie_Official: So you need a way to confirm I'm not talking out my ass?

Dragon: Less crassly, but yes. I want to believe you, Menagerie, but I cannot act with only hearsay.

Menagerie_Official: And if you could confirm at least part of my story?

Dragon: Then I suppose I'd have to trust the rest of your story is valid. Your work has won you at least that much trust I think.

Menagerie_Official: Dinah. Call her.

Dragon: She is in school.

Menagerie_Official: And also the only one who can confirm my story. She has powers. You know how those powers work. So, ask her a set of questions only you know the answers to. Just please keep in mind that she is limited to about three to five questions per day.

Dragon: That could work… Perhaps… One moment… There, I've called her to the principal's office. I hope you know I do not enjoy interrupting her education.

Menagerie_Official: Of course, I appreciate you being flexible.

I wondered if calling Dinah out of school was illegal somehow. Did Dragon impersonate her parents? Or maybe she said Dinah might have some knowledge of something she'd witnessed? Perhaps some sort of cybercrime she stumbled on online?

Didn't know, didn't care. What mattered was that Dragon got to speak with her.

Dragon: I am going to link us through a secure conference call. Is that alright?

Menagerie_Official: Sounds good.

A moment later, I received a data package from Dragon asking me to open the laptop mic. I admired her programming skills for a subjective minute before hopping out of the laptop and downloading it.

"Dragon?" I called. "Dinah?"

"H-Hello?" came the shy girl's response. "Menagerie?"

"That's me. Dinah, are the numbers okay?"

"Uh-huh. I'm still safe."

"Okay, well, Dragon thinks I'm a lying liar who lies so she wants to ask you some questions if that's okay."

"I do not think that," came the world's foremost tinker's reproachful voice. "I want to believe you, Menagerie."

"I know, I'm messing around. Anyway, shoot."

I could hear the woman sigh resignedly. "Dinah, as I understand it, you have the power to answer any question in the form of a percentage."

I smiled at the consideration she showed the tween precog. She was avoiding phrasing her questions as actual questions, just in case.

Dinah was nervous enough as it was. It wasn't every day a tinker like Dragon wanted a chat. "U-Umm… Yes."

"I would like to ask you three questions to confirm your thinker abilities. That should be enough for me to trust Menagerie's story."

"T-That's good. Yes."

"Okay, first, off the top of your head, what is the probability of a man in the United States being struck by lightning in his lifetime?"

"0.000653%."

I blinked. "Is she right?"

"She is," Dragon confirmed. "She is also in an isolated room and I can confirm that no other electronic device is being used to access the internet. Next question, between the three towns of Suffolk, Stamford, and Chesapeake Bay, VA, which will have the higher mortality rate over the next three months?"

"Suffolk. Oww," she whimpered. "Just one more, please."

"I'm sorry, dear. We can stop now. I've heard enough. I believe you, Menagerie."

"Are you sure? You don't think Menagerie is a liar?"

"No, no I don't. And that means we have much to talk about."

"Thank you, Dinah," I said. "You really saved us a lot of time."

"And, if my suspicions are right, a lot of lives. You've done well, Dinah," Dragon added warmly. Then, the call cut out and we were back to messaging on PHO.

Menagerie_Official: So, can I say "I told you so?"

Dragon: If it'll make you feel better.

Menagerie_Official: I told you so.

Dragon: You are an unexpectedly petty person.

Menagerie_Official: I am. As the paragon of the great llama upstairs, it is my duty to do good in the world. I must therefore garner trust and faith wherever I go.

Dragon: I have no idea what you're talking about.

Menagerie_Official: Fine, spoilsport. Back on topic, can I trust you to handle the cyberwarfare portion of the raid?

Dragon: You may. When did you plan to raid Coil's base?

Menagerie_Official: I don't honestly know. Is there a way to contact you when the raid starts?

Dragon: Yes, I'll set a script to alert me. I will also send you a program in a moment… There. Did you get that? Don't open it! That is a virus that will allow me to hijack any computer in seconds. Copy that onto a USB and insert it into any database when the raid begins.

Menagerie_Official: Huh, very spy-thriller-y… Do you have this stuff lying around in your hard drive?

Dragon: I do. I am the best white-hat hacker in the world, you know.

Menagerie_Official: Fair enough. Can't you hack into the base without it?

Dragon: Some, not all. I've already begun to gather what information I can, but I suspect most of his work is preserved in a closed network.

Menagerie_Official: Fair enough. I'll let you know when Lady Photon and I coordinate something.

Dragon: Excellent. I appreciate that you've come to me with this, Menagerie. I apologize if I seemed mistrustful.

Menagerie_Official: No, I get it. I'm just teasing anyway. I'll keep you posted. Later, Dragon.

Dragon: And a pleasant day to you too.

I closed out of PHO and smiled. That really hadn't taken nearly as long as I'd expected, partly thanks to Dinah and partly because Dragon was extremely prompt with her response. It was now nearing 11 AM.

I decided to run to the nearest tech store and buy myself a good USB. How did a single virus end up taking up 4 GB anyway? I didn't think that was doable. I downloaded the virus and placed it securely in my costume's pocket.

I had a few things I could do now. I could try to hack into Coil's network on my own. That might alert Dragon as to my abilities with porygon-2, but it could be worthwhile anyway. Or, I could visit Lady Photon to see if we could hash out just when we ought to raid Coil.

I found myself back in front of the Pelhams' white picket fence house. It still looked a little too "American dream" for me, but what did I know? I hadn't really told them I was coming, mostly because I hadn't planned on my chat with Dragon going so well.

When I initially got the idea to ask Dragon for help, I thought she and I would barge in through Coil's network defenses like something out of Digimon. Or Tron. I figured we'd barge in and take over his network, allowing her to manipulate everything he saw and heard for days before we finally closed the noose around his neck in real life.

That wasn't what happened obviously. In reality, Dragon didn't need my help. She was already in the PRT servers because she was their most respected outside consultant. Anything to do with Coil's base couldn't be accessed off-site because he worked through a closed system.

Still, a virus-laden USB wasn't nearly as dramatic as I'd expected, but it was a lot simpler. In theory, I could go raid Coil's base tonight as litwick. No one knew I could phase through matter as a ghost after all. There was of course the risk that the virus would be found out by some of his own techs, but Dragon ought to be able to hide her presence in his systems somehow. Or was that an unnecessary risk sneaking it in so early?

Something to think about.

I landed in the Pelham garden as a pidgey, one of the most nondescript pokemon around. It was something else to love about normal types: They had members who were as close to normal animals as could be and drew far less attention.

I flew around the house and was relieved to find that one of their two cars was in the garage. It was the SUV, meaning Mrs. Pelham likely hadn't gone anywhere.

Being lunchtime, I spotted her in the kitchen, placing a scoop of leftover casserole in the microwave to reheat. I alighted on a nearby windowsill and pecked at the glass.

She turned and stared at me. I raised a wing and waved.

She continued to stare, trying to reconcile that a mud-brown pigeon-like bird just waved and wanted to be let in. I didn't think I'd ever get sick of surprising people as different pokemon.

Cautiously, she opened a window. I pecked at the mosquito screen insistently.

"Stop that!" she chided. I stopped. "Oh, good, I'm not going crazy. You understand me."

"Yo," I chirped.

"Ah!"

"Just Menagerie."

"Why are you here?"

"Promised I'd keep you posted didn't I? Had a chat with Dragon. Can I come in?"

She sighed but waved me in through the back porch. "Why are you a bird now?"

"Would you prefer a giant kangaroo?"

"You can become a kangaroo?"

I shifted back into my armor and took a seat in her living room. "Yup. Or a giraffe. Or a bear. Really, pidgey was the least conspicuous thing I could turn into."

"Uh-huh… Well, you're here so you may as well. Would you like lunch?"

"If it's not too much trouble, Sarah," I said happily. This reminded me of the casual friendliness of my old world, where I could just go to someone's house off the side of the road and ask for a place to crash in exchange for doing some chores come morning. She wasn't quite that welcoming, but having friends was always nice.

We sat around the dinner table and talked while we ate. She was a great chef, though I could do with fewer green beans in my casserole. All the flavors were there though, so that was nice.

I told her about my plans, what I saw in Future Sight, my conversation with Dragon, and the USB I received.

She sipped a cup of water to clear her throat and spoke. "I'm not entirely comfortable with your ability to discover people's identities like that, even for villains."

"I'm hardly the only person who can do this," I reminded her. "Amy probably knows everyone in the city, or could if she really put her mind to it. Armsmaster could probably build some voice recognition software to do it for him. Tattletale definitely uses her power this way, even if she doesn't want to. Dinah could figure someone out with a handful of questions per day. Secret identities are just polite fiction."

"They are, and I sometimes wish otherwise. Thomas Calvert is Coil… That certainly confirms why you shouldn't go to the PRT."

"Yeah, I contacted Dragon directly through PHO. Thankfully, she had a script that alerted her of any requests coming from heroes or I might have had to go straight to Armsmaster. Still torn about that one. Your future self told me that Coil probably didn't have a backdoor into Armsmaster's systems, but would he be able to act independently of the PRT and not tip off Coil?"

She hummed contemplatively. "I don't know. Armsmaster is a brilliant combatant and a good leader. He's got a lot of experience, but he's also very by-the-books. He might feel he needs to notify the director, which in itself would be fine but could mean any records get passed along channels we don't want." She let out an explosive sigh. "It's up to you. Involving the PRT would make cleanup much easier and you'd have some legitimacy and protection if things go wrong. It might also tip Coil off early."

I considered it but shook my head. "I'm tentatively going to say no. We shouldn't involve anyone who we know might be an information leak. I'm not saying Armsmaster would intentionally sabotage the mission, but the mission is definitely not by the books. I don't want anyone in Coil's payroll to know about the raid until it's over and we can nab them all at once with the information Dragon takes from his files."

She nodded slowly. "It's ambitious, but I'm willing to go along with this. I did some digging. The retailers we bought furniture from have quietly gone out of business or transferred their holdings out of the city, as had the car dealer who sold Neil his truck. Carol is filing the paperwork to dig deeper, but she thinks it'll be a dead end. At this point, keeping things quiet might be for the best."

"Thanks for understanding, Sarah. That leaves the question of when the raid should be."

"And who should participate. Neil and I will be there obviously. Carol and Mark will as well; she has too many vacation days saved up anyway. She could use a break from her firm."

"And being a discount Jedi is how she destresses?"

She let out a snort of laughter. "Don't tell her I told you, but Carol loves the Star Wars series. The first movie came out when she was… seven? Eight? And she used to wave a broom around pretending to deflect blasters."

The image of that overly stern woman standing in front of the mirror with a broomstick in hand made me chuckle. Leave it to a big sister to embarrass her kid sis. No matter what. "My lips are sealed. What about the newest wave?"

"Do they really call the kids that?"

"I do."

"Fair enough. If you want to make use of them, the raid should be after school. Or on the weekend."

"You know, this is why people call you 'Photon Mom,'" I replied dryly.

"Well excuse me for caring about my children's education. Speaking of, should I call Arcadia to see just who is missing?" she glared chidingly.

I raised my hands in surrender. "No need for that. I'm a model student, pinkie promise."

"Next thing you know, I'll be making sure you've done your homework."

"I'll drop out just to spite you."

She snorted. "Of course you will. Let's get back on topic. Do we know if Coil knows about Dinah yet?"

I shook my head in the negative. "No, not really. Dinah said the numbers haven't gotten bad yet, but that could mean anything from him not knowing to him just not choosing to act."

"That is troublesome. We should leave at least one cape with her. A flyer so they can evacuate her at a moment's notice."

"Crystal, Vicky, and Eric are all good options. Eric isn't the fastest, but he's the best at providing her with a shield, right?"

"Right. There are also other independent heroes. Dovetail comes to mind. She's a strong flyer and could free up the kids to help secure the perimeter in the raid."

I sighed. This was the problem with planning a raid in my position. I was new to the cape scene and didn't know enough of the players to make a decision. Even in my old world, being an itinerant master meant I lacked the background organizational structure to organize operations like this. I left such matters to Lance, Steven, and others who had more experience in positions of authority.

It was a risk, but Lady Photon likely knew who could be trusted. "You decide," I said finally. "You're a veteran and I'm not. I don't know who's trustworthy because I haven't met anyone else."

She smiled at the show of trust. "Very well, I can do that. I have a few names in mind."

"Who?"

"Dovetail, as I've mentioned. I'm thinking about having her watch Dinah. She lacks offensive power, but her mobility should be what's important. There is also Sere. He's been active in the suburbs around the city for several months now. He can create a cone of dehydration that is very good at taking down people."

"Both sound good, but if Sere's power works indiscriminately, we're going to have to be very careful. Maybe keep him on the perimeter so he can catch anyone who's trying to run?"

"That was my thought as well. His power works through even force fields so he's difficult to partner with." She frowned slightly. "He has also been known to be somewhat violent. Not to the point of raising criminal charges, but more than strictly necessary."

"Is that a matter of control, do you think?"

"Perhaps. He's a big maybe for now. There is also the Tomorrow-Men."

"Who?"

"Corporate capes tied to-"

"No," I cut her off firmly. "No corporate capes."

"Why?"

"Coil has a lot of ties to businesses. Fortress Construction I know for a fact is his. That's how he got his hands on an 'abandoned' endbringer shelter. I don't know what else he's invested in and getting into contact with them would mean informing their handlers."

"Fair enough. That's really everyone I'd trust."

I thought about any other capes I might know. Faultline's Crew was it, but they likely didn't want to hear from me this soon. Melanie had explicitly told me not to contact her first while Elle went through their version of master-stranger protocols.

Frustrating. I could've really used their help. I considered how easy the whole raid would be if Elle helped out. Coil's mercs could be wrapped up in minutes, with the shelter twisted into a pretzel and not one person having the slightest chance of escape. Was it worth waiting for Faultline to contact me?

If I postponed the raid, Elle could easily solve the problem for me. But it might also alienate Sarah and New Wave; I didn't think they were too keen on working with mercenaries.

I shook my head. No. I'd respect Faultline's decision; I could do this on my own and as helpful as Elle would be, it wasn't worth alienating New Wave.

"Okay, so that's seven capes from your side plus me and Dovetail. Assigning Dovetail to Dinah sounds like a good plan, which leaves eight of us to assault Coil's base."

"Two teams," Sarah said, "you go with my sister's family for an even four."

"Is that wise? I can handle myself, create a third point of entry."

"No. Absolutely not. Going off alone is a terrible idea."

I grunted in frustration. I had to remind myself that she didn't know much about pokemon. From her perspective, her insistence that I have backup made sense. If nothing else, it would mean I'd get to see the Dallon half of New Wave in action. "Fine. Two teams. I'll ask Dragon if I can make copies of her virus. That way, we're not all relying on just me to find a computer."

"Good idea."

"I'm also going to scout the base first. See if I can get a good layout."

"And how are you going to do that?"

"I have another form that is small, invisible, and intangible at will. If Coil has more than two exits, we can revisit the team compositions."

She frowned but nodded. "Fine, we can talk more about that after. He can split timelines, right? How will you make sure he's really in the base?"

"Even if he isn't, the information Dragon pulls from his files should be damning," I pointed out.

"Not necessarily. We know he's Calvert, but proving it with just his files could be difficult. We should do our best to keep him in the base, catch him red-handed."

"Point. We can use Dinah. Ask her the chances of him being in his base."

"Wouldn't it be 50% no matter what?"

"I… I don't know…? Does this mean I need to assault his civilian house?"

"Absolutely not. We cannot be seen breaking the unwritten rules first."

I let out a frustrated sigh. "That is… inconvenient."

"If you want the arrest to stick, you need to do this by the books."

I considered it. "Okay, I've got an idea. You know how I used Future Sight?"

"You can tell when he's in his base?"

"No, not if he's splitting time. I think Celebi or Dialga might be able to, but I can't use their power."

"Who?"

"Never mind. More pokemon. Really strong. Outside my ability. Anyway, I also have a smaller form called a ralts that's related to the iron valiant you saw two days ago. I can't use Future Sight, but every mind feels a little different."

"And you can track Calvert in his civilian identity. You'll know if he enters his base."

"Yup."

"How will you know you're in the right timeline?"

"I won't," I admitted, "but I'll know where he is for sure in at least one of them. And, he can't keep a timeline split 24/7. If he did, he wouldn't be using it to make the exact right choices for the hundreds of decisions he makes throughout his day."

"So you think he only uses his power in short bursts."

"Hours at most. To ensure a business meeting or operation goes well. Calvert's set himself up to be a man of authority and power, and that means he's making a lot of potentially risky choices each day, risks he's probably mitigating with his power."

"That makes sense. It's not foolproof I don't think, but it's better than any idea I've got. You're surprisingly resourceful, aren't you?"

"Are you calling me stupid?" I said in mock offense.

"No, but you give off a carefree air in most of your interactions."

"That's on purpose, you know. The more people underestimate me, the less they're likely to be prepared for when I get serious."

"So I've learned. This unfortunately means we can't plan the exact date of the raid."

"That could be a good thing in itself," I pointed out. "Coil fancies himself a master strategist, a real Bond villain type. He can't plan around us if we're intentionally reacting to him."

"True." She rose to take the dishes to the sink. "Keep me posted, Menagerie."

"Will do," I replied as I headed for the porch. "Thanks for lunch, Sarah."

"It's nice to eat lunch with someone for a change," she said with a smile.

I waved behind me. "Shift, pidgey."

As I flew off, I made a note of things to do. First things first, I wanted to sneak into Coil's base and get a map of its interior. I should be capable of that with litwick.

Second, I needed to check with Dragon to see if the USB would explode or something if I made copies of it. One way or another, I wanted one copy given to at least the adult members of New Wave so that if we got separated during the raid, at least one of us would successfully bring Dragon into the network. This was critical; without her, we could expect the bomb to go off and I wasn't ready to lose New Wave; they were the closest thing I had to a team after all.

Third, I intended to be at Coil's house tonight. 1332 Highland Lane, easy enough to remember. I needed to memorize his psychic signature as ralts so I could tail him to his base.

As much as I wanted to memorize Calvert's psychic signature right now, I didn't actually know where he was. He could be at home, the PRT, or in his base. Seeing how I knew for a fact he'd have to come home to sleep eventually, I didn't feel the need to track him down immediately.

And of course, there was something to be said for not approaching the base now. Now that I had a more concrete idea of what New Wave expected, I wanted to chat with Dragon before going to scout the base, just in case there was something specific she wanted me to look for in addition to the basics like entry and exit points.

That left me with time in the afternoon. A not insignificant part of me wanted to troll people on PHO, maybe write bits of my own journey as a cape-fic under an alternate account, but I decided against it in the end. I hadn't been in the hospital in a few days. I owed some time there.

I strolled through the emergency room doors clad in full burgundy scale. It was the first time I'd been here in full costume and I stood out like a sore thumb.

A thick coat of ninetales fur and intentionally bulky armguards made my profile a lot broader than I was in actuality. Scaled feet that looked like they could be used to disembowel someone with a kick clicked audibly against the hospital floor.

I drew a lot of attention and it wasn't long before the lead nurse on shift came to greet me.

"Menagerie?" she asked, one Nurse Wilkins according to her nametag. She was a middle-aged woman with the barest hints of gray running through her hair.

I laughed sheepishly. "Yes, that's right. I look a little overdressed, don't I?"

"That's one way to put it. You look like you're ready to scrap with Lung, not heal people."

"Sorry. In Sabah's defense, she didn't exactly make it with bedside manners in mind."

"Oh, I'm not denying that, dear. She did a wonderful job. I'm sure people will get used to it," she winked and gave me a dirty-eyed nudge that probably would've fit better with a lecherous old man. "Congratulations, by the way. Dear Panacea's needed a way to unwind for years now. I'm sure she's just thrilled to have a kindred spirit."

I threw my head back and laughed. "PUAHAHA! Of course! Amy Dallon is not only gorgeous, she is possessed of a chivalrous soul as well! Beauty! Kindness! Intelligence! I am truly fortunate to have earned her affection!"

"I'm glad you think so, Menagerie. You two deserve to be happy."

"Say, where is my darling girlfriend?"

"She should be here in a few minutes. Did you want to do a tour together?"

"Perhaps," I hummed. Then, I got a devious idea. It was evil, but like an insidious worm, it dug in my mind and I couldn't let it go. "Say, do you think it'd be better to introduce myself to patients as something less intimidating?"

She clicked her tongue in thought. "Maybe…"

It was then that I heard the door open, Amy Dallon had arrived. She took one look at me and stomped towards me. I stared bemusedly as she grabbed me by the furred collar. "Sorry, Nurse Wilkins, I need to have a chat with Menagerie."

"Oh don't mind me, dear. You two lovebirds have fun. Just come back to let me know which ward you intend to visit when you're done catching up."

The way she physically twitched with barely restrained annoyance was positively delicious. It was like sweet, sweet nectar for my cold, black soul.

"Stop laughing," she glared at me from beneath her hood.

"Panpan~" I sang, wrapping the diminutive girl in a bearhug that lifted her off her feet.

"Let go, you idiot!" She squirmed and grumbled, kicking at my shins ineffectually.

"Aha! I am armored this time!" I laughed as I walked with her out of the hall. Once we were out of sight, I dropped her and caught her by the shoulder to steady her. "Okay, embarrassing Panpan over. What's up?"

"What's up? Where were you? You skipped school!"

"I did."

She studied me carefully. "You weren't here."

"Nope."

"Co-"

I clamped a hand over her face. "Not in the hospital. Or anywhere public. But yes. Had to deal with a few things and figured I could use the extra hours."

She wriggled out of my grip. "Okay, fine. Are you ready? Do you need any help?"

"I'm good, Ames. I just had a few things I needed to take care of, promise."

"Fine, won't ask."

"Appreciate it."

"So, where to today?"

"Ehh, don't care much. Say, mind if I show you a different form?"

She quirked an eyebrow, but I could see her fingers curling in anticipation. As much as she liked to pretend to be in control, I was beginning to find that Amy Dallon was a sucker for abnormal biology. Anything to do with my pokemon fascinated her in ways she couldn't explain. "Nurse Wilkins told me I should consider a more child-friendly form than this armor. I want you to approve it."

"Fine, shoot."

"Face it, you can't keep your hands off me," I said with a laugh. Hiding a mischievous grin behind my mask, I whirled my hands into what was practically my trademark pose. "Shift, lopunny!"

I lost almost a foot and a half. I slimmed down significantly, with most of my weight apparently going to my incredibly toned legs. Fluffy, cream puffs of fur dotted my shins, wrists, eyebrows, and ears. My cream-colored eyebrows rose in a stark, v-shaped pattern that highlighted my pink eyes and cute, button nose.

And oh Alpaca Above the ears.

They were each as long as my body. Had they not been folded up several inches past my skull, I'd easily stand twice my current height. They were also, for some inexplicable reason, each as wide as my waist.

The fluffy, cloud-like tufts at the end belied a hidden strength. I knew for a fact that buneary could use Ice Punch and other moves through their ears and lopunny were no different. They specialized in kicks, but these ears were prehensile and perfectly capable of punching someone silly.

The personality was also quite easy to manage. It was as rabbit-like as I could expect, full of caution and curiosity in equal measure. With the hospital already being regarded as a safe place, the cautious lopunny in me was easily put on the backburner.

I stood gracefully on one foot and raised my right hand to cup my face. "So, girlfriend, how do I look?"

Amy stared at me, struggling to pick her jaw off the floor. "Wha-What?"

I relished in watching my friend blue-screen. Again. It was honestly starting to become one of my favorite hobbies, especially considering how unexpectedly easy it was. Amy liked to draw herself up as this unflappable bastion of sarcasm and snark, but the girl was surprisingly vulnerable to teasing.

It was a secret only known to Vicky and I. Too bad for Ames that neither of us had any compunctions about teasing her mercilessly.

I leaned forward and flared my ears back so they could frame my svelte frame. Gently swaying my cottontail back and forth, I said as seductively as I could, "Oh, doctor~ Don't you have a task for nurse lopunny~"

"What. What?"

"Or maybe, would Doctor Panacea like to give me a check-up?"

Amy's blush went atomic. It was like watching a volcano erupt. It started from the base of her neck, a redness so deep that I could almost feel its heat. It climbed up through her cheeks until even her forehead was practically glowing. I almost expected to see actual steam come out of her ears.

This was as good as giving her a rose as gardevoir. Grinning, I hopped up to her and wrapped my arms around her waist. I picked up one hand and placed it squarely between my ears. Then, dropping the cutesy voice, I smirked up at her, "Get scritching, woman, these ears don't floof themselves."

I wanted to bust out laughing when Amy just stroked my fur on autopilot. I instead sat back and allowed myself to enjoy the sensation running through my sensitive roots for a minute while my best friend went through a full hard drive reboot.

Then I felt her hand ball into a fist, taking a tuft of my fur in her grip. "You," she hissed menacingly. "Why are you like this?"

Staring up at her innocently, I smiled like butter wouldn't melt in my mouth. "Your embarrassment nourishes my soul."

She gave my fur an angry yank, not enough to hurt, but enough to draw a surprised yelp from me. "Are you ever going to stop embarrassing me?"

"When I run out of forms that make you react I guess? So, how do I feel? Soft, right?"

"Yes, actually. Did you know your fur grows in layers? There's an extra-soft downy layer that's purposely feathered and wispy to trap hea-NO! Not the point!"

"Heh. You can't help it," I smirked smugly. "Admit it, cool new biology is like crack to you."

She gave my fur another yank. Harder this time, enough that it would have been painful for a human but was only mildly uncomfortable for a pokemon. "You-"

"Ahn~ Harder, doctor~" She let go like she'd been burned. I wiggled my eyebrows suggestively, all the more taunting thanks to the fur-crest-things that lopunny had. "So, guess we're learning all sorts of things about your interests today, eh? Who said the hospital couldn't be a place of self-discovery?"

She twitched uncontrollably before she threw her hands into the air. Turning, she stamped back towards the lobby and Nurse Wilkins. "No. Nope. I'm done. Not dealing with you right now."

I got the feeling I'd gone just a tad far so I shifted back and caught up to her. "Okay, okay, sorry. I'm sorry."

"Mmhm…"

"No more teasing… for today…"

"Are you going to turn into an oversized furry-bait again?"

"So… You did find that kinda hot?"

She kicked me in the shin then used my shoulder to balance while she hopped on one foot. "Ow! Fuck!"

"Okay, yeah, no more lopunny," I promised. "I've had my fun."

"You're a colossal dick, you know that?"

I reached out and wrapped her in a hug. "No more lopunny. Already promised. You wanna go do a tour of the ER or go to a different ward?"

"I'm going to stick to the ER," she huffed but relaxed against me. "You can do whatever you want."

We walked back out into the lobby and towards Nurse Wilkins. I decided to leave Amy to her own devices so she could cool off for a while. I felt like perhaps I'd teased her a bit too much. I'd think about making it up to her later. As funny as her reactions could be, there was a fine line between teasing and bullying.

Humming, I looked over at the map of the hospital. "I think I'm going to go to the burn ward," I told her. "You haven't been there lately, right?"

"No," she replied with a shrug. "I mostly just stay here in the ER."

"Cool. Then I'm sure there are plenty of people who can use a helping hand."

"Suit yourself, and no more bunny!" she hissed under her breath.

Nurse Wilkins raised a curious eyebrow. "Bunny?"

"Nothing," Amy squeaked. I was about to open my mouth, but she promptly elbowed me in the side, only to curl in on herself clutching her arm. "Funny bone…"

"Hahaha," I laughed. "Just an inside joke, Nurse Wilkins."

She eyed us oddly before deciding that teenage banter wasn't worth the hassle. "So, where will you two be going?"

"I'll head to the burn ward and Amy will stay here in the ER."

"Alright, you two know the drill. Just be sure to check off the rooms you've already worked through."

"Yes, ma'am," we chorused as one.

X

I stepped into the ward and made a beeline for the high dependency section. These were people who'd suffered serious burns and were expecting to remain in the hospital for potentially weeks or months at a time.

I could fix that.

I marched up to the nearest nurse. He was a tall man with a full beard he kept thickly but shortly cropped close to his chin. Nurse Ahmed, according to his nametag.

"Hi there. I'm Menagerie, nice to meet you, Nurse Ahmed," I greeted, holding out my gauntlet-clad hand for a shake.

"Hello, Menagerie," he said with a thick accent that reminded me of Sabah's father. He shook my hand firmly. "Thanks for coming. Do you need anything to get started?"

"Yeah, can you kill the music?"

"Excuse me?"

"The music. I have a pokemon that can restore nerve damage and flush toxins from the bloodstream through sound."

"You can do that?"

"Mhmm. It's not that strong, but if I keep playing, I think I can fix a bunch of people at once instead of moving from room to room. I'd like for you to shut off the music you've got playing in the background though."

"I see, yes, I can do that. Let me go around and turn off any TVs that are on as well."

"Great, thank you."

"The heart rate monitors need to stay on though. Will that be a problem?"

"That's understandable. I don't need complete silence anyway, just enough for my bell to be heard clearly."

After several minutes, I heard the music die as he went from room to room. Then, I saw him come back with a small frown on his face. "Menagerie, we may have a small problem."

"What's wrong?"

"One of the patient's family is leery of music-based powers."

"Why would that bother them?"

"Well, with the Canary trial going on in the background, they feel like they should be extra-careful," he said with an apologetic frown.

I heard him. I also heard what he wasn't saying. Hadn't Canary gotten in hot water for castrating someone? I wasn't the most up to date on the subject, but she had been compared repeatedly to the Simurgh. With the feathers in her hair, the comparison was hardly subtle.

"A-Are they calling me the Simurgh?" I asked incredulously.

"No, of course not!" he replied.

"Sure sounds like it. I thought I earned some Arceus-damned trust around here."

"You did. If it were up to me, I'd let you sing your heart out. I'm sorry, the patients' families can sometimes be unreasonable. They're upset and take it out on whoever they can."

I frowned, not that Nurse Ahmed could see me. "So you're telling me that everyone else in the ward is fine with cape healing via sound."

"Yes, Menagerie, that's right," he said with a sigh, knowing where I was going with this.

"And that one family, not the patient, the family, opposes this and so I can't do it?"

"Yes."

"You realize how dumb this sounds?"

"I'm sorry, the patient is unconscious and cannot be woken up because of the severity of his injuries."

"Did he reject cape healing?"

"No, but he didn't allow it either. His medical records were sparse so we need to defer to his nearest living relative."

I groaned audibly. "I'm starting to understand why Amy hates people now…"

"Can you still heal them one by one?"

"How about this? Can you turn on the TV in their room? Throw in a radio or something on top of it? The patient won't care, he's unconscious, right?"

"Will that work?"

"Yeah. The bell needs to be clearly audible." I thought about all the other sonic-based attacks in my arsenal. A small, immature part of me wanted to turn into an exploud to show them what a real sonic attack sounded like. I quashed the notion. Sometimes, being a hero meant putting up with idiots.

"Okay," Nurse Ahmed said with a nod. "I'll go talk to them and set things up."

"Thank you. I appreciate it. Shift, delcatty!"

As he went about his business, I felt my body shrink and turn distinctly feline. A large, violet crest formed around my oversized ears, though not quite as big as they'd been as lopunny.

The cream-colored cat was about as close to a pacifist as pokemon could get. They were beloved for their fur, but also somewhat notorious for being difficult to care for unless the trainer was a high-level coordinator.

In the wild, delcatty did not keep a nest at all, instead choosing to live a migratory lifestyle. Whether it be eating or sleeping, they lived completely according to their whims, so much so that even their daily habits were completely random.

I let out an adorable meow and leashed the pokemon's personality. A pokemon who lived as it wanted? Well, I wanted to heal, so heal I shall.

When I received the go-ahead, I sat on my haunches in the middle of the ward and took a deep breath. "Heal Bell!" I cried.

Despite the name, only one pokemon I knew of actually used a bell: chimecho. Though to be fair, they were literally sentient bells.

Instead, the four orb-like protrusions coming from stems on my neck began to glow an entrancing blue as they filled with aura. Then, as I let out a meowing cry, they began to stir and shake.

A ringing noise followed each shake and the pitch of my cry rose to harmonize with the four "bells."

When the sound reached a crescendo, a visible pulse of blue aura carried itself through the ward. It annoyed me to see the move fizzle out against one room as it encountered a wall of dissonant sound, but I'd just have to deal.

"Holy shit, it's actually working," I heard one of the nurses whisper from the room nearest me.

I held the note for as long as I could. Slowly, gingerly, I saw a man step out on a walker. He stared at the singing cat like he had no idea how to react. I shot him a cheeky wink, getting a smile out of him.

Watching him was fascinating. At first, each step he took had seemed painful, injuries raw and inflamed. He leaned heavily on his walker to support himself. But as time went on and I continued to sing, I could see strength returning to his leg.

Pokemon or not, even I needed to breathe and I eventually ran out of air. "How was that?" I asked the nurses.

"It didn't heal everything," Nurse Ahmed replied.

"Okay, we'll just have to go again. Heal Bell!"

X

I underestimated just how severe "high dependency" burn injuries could be. It took constant singing and three different shifts to heal everyone. Afterwards, I shifted back into my armored form and plopped down onto the floor. I didn't think my voice could be that sore, but apparently, holding a single note for about half an hour with only two breaks in between was enough to teach me otherwise.

"Okay, that's everyone?" I asked Nurse Ahmed.

"That's it, the only one who didn't receive healing was the one whose family opted out. We even had a few who came in from the ER with burns who left happy," he said with a satisfied smile.

"Oh, lovely. That's great."

"Would you like a water bottle?"

"That'd be awesome, thanks. Give me a minute and I'll go see the last guy."

"Actually, his family got so annoyed that they opted out of cape healing altogether."

I accepted the water bottle he offered me and slid down my faceplate to take a drink. "You're fucking with me."

"No, no I am not," he said with a defeated sigh.

"Wow… I feel bad for the guy."

"There isn't anything we can do legally."

I stared up at Nurse Ahmed tiredly. "If I barge in and heal him enough so he's conscious, can he give retroactive consent?"

"No," he looked unamused, "no he cannot. More importantly, even if he could, if he does not, that could open you and the hospital up to a lot of liability issues."

"So set him back on fire," I grumbled. "I can do that too."

"Menagerie…"

"Fine, fine. I'm leaving. Tell them they're a bunch of shit-heel fuck-muffins."

"I do like my job," he said wryly.

"Fine. You can find me back in the ER with Panpan if those idiots change their minds."

"I will. You have a good one."

"Yeah, you too, Nurse Ahmed."

X

I found Amy back in the ER, in one of the rooms where we'd set up when the Hookwolf debacle happened. The nurses were working like a well-oiled machine, tugging gurneys in and out of the room like a conveyor belt.

"Yo," I waved as I motioned for a nurse to pull a second gurney to me. "How's it going?"

"How are you here?"

"Done. There's a song-thing I can play to heal a lot of people at once, but only to flush poisons and fix nerve damage. Paralysis. Burns. Frostbite even. Not any actual wounds though."

Amy frowned, her nose scrunching up cutely as she tried to make sense of my statement. "Your powers are so goddamn weird."

"You mispronounced 'awesome,'" I retorted smugly. I conjured a Heal Pulse and plunged it into the patient wheeled my way.

"Prick."

"Here? Now? How lewd!"

"I will make you suffer."

"Okay, fine, fine. No teasing. I did promise."

First impressions were wrong. Not everyone who came through the ER was on death's door. Those obviously got priority, but even in a city like the Bay, there were only so many car crashes, violent muggings, attempted murders, and the like.

Most of them were in fact capable of walking in on their own, albeit with a bit of help in some cases. One came in with slurred speech and a hell of a black eye, waved my way by Amy because she didn't do brains. Another came in with a burst appendix that Amy cleaned up in a minute. It was serious, but since all the biomass was still inside his chest cavity, Amy could work without issues.

By far the most common injuries we saw were either broken bones or chest pains, only a few of the latter being actually serious. It was honestly amazing how many people thought heartburn was worthy of our time, though I supposed being safe was better than being sorry.

After about forty-five minutes, Amy was the one who broke the silence. We ended up swapping stories to make the time pass. She told me about the time a woman came in with chest pains only for her water to break in the middle of the lobby. I told her about the shit-heel family who wouldn't let me treat the last burn patient.

Eventually, we ran out of stories and my efforts to get Amy to join in on a sing-along also failed so we returned to a state of silence.

Really, it was funny how little I had to say to the girl when I wasn't actively teasing her.

Did this make me a bad person?

… Nah…

At 6:30 PM, Nurse Wilkins came back and called us to a stop. Some of the patients in the waiting room tried to complain, but a heated glare from the head nurse was enough to make them think twice.

"We can finish up," Amy said with a tired smile.

"That's quite alright, dear. You've done plenty as it is," she said. She pulled $40 out of her wallet and pressed them into Amy's hand. "You and your boyfriend go buy yourselves something nice for dinner. On me."

"I can't do that!" Amy yelped, trying to give the money back.

I watched them go back and forth on a seemingly unending cycle of gifting and regifting until I had enough. I took the cash and put it on the counter before grabbing Amy by the shoulders and pushing her out of the ER. "Thank you, Nurse Wilkins, we'll go grab dinner on our own."

"We can fix more people."

I rolled my eyes. "Does the word 'burnout' mean anything to you?"

"I can keep working," she replied mulishly.

Seeing no other choice, I leaned in to whisper in her ear. "You're going to come have dinner with me or I'm going to turn into lopunny and tell everyone about your furry fetish."

"I do not have a furry fetish!" she hissed back. Her indignant rage was enough to unbalance her and I managed to push her along.

"Don't care. Come on. What do you want for dinner? Burgers? Pizza? That one smokehouse that opened up last month?"

"You're impossible, you know that? Boyfriends are supposed to listen to girlfriends."

"Not when a nurse says you need to relax some. Pretty sure that counts as professional medical advice."

"You suck."

"Come on, Ames, don't pout. Wanna invite Vicky?"

That made her a bit happier. Seeing how much Amy cared for her sister always made me smile. "Fine, but we're not getting a burger."

"Done."

"Somewhere quick so we can get back to work."

I booped Amy on the nose. "Nope. We're going to have a full, sit-down meal, not fucking Subway."

"What's wrong with Subway?"

"Come on, I don't think even you can tell me what's in that tuna salad."

She snorted a laugh. "Okay, fine. What do you want then?"

I shrugged. I led her outside and into the parking lot. "I'm starving. I had some of Sarah's green bean casserole for lunch and haven't eaten anything since."

She whirled. "Wait, Sarah? As in my Aunt Sarah?"

"Yes? Had to do with that other thing I've been up to. Paid a visit."

"Huh… How hungry are you?"

A certain lethargic bear native to Indigo came to mind. "I can literally swallow you whole."

"More of your pokemon?"

"Of course."

"Whatever. You like meat?"

"I love meat. Especially thick, juicy meat."

"if you make another sex joke, I'm going to peel your dick like a banana."

"H-How lewd! You're the one making this about s-sex!" I yelped in the fakest, least convincing way I could.

Amy stared up at the sky, as if begging Arceus for patience. "Why are we friends again?"

I held up a hand so I could tick down my fingers. "I can make you laugh. I'm the only one who understands what being a healer in the Bay is like. I have lots of alternative biology for you to go gaga over. Oh, and you give great ear scritches."

"My reasons, not yours, you dork," she said with a smile.

"I know what I said. You like giving me scritches."

"Uh-huh. Keep telling yourself that."

"I'm irresistible."

"You're a menace."

"And soft. And fluffy. And have the phattest ass as immortalized on PHO."

"Ugh, can't believe you actually posted that." She pulled out her phone to text her sister. After a few rapid-fire back and forth exchanges, she looked up at me. "Okay, so Vicky's down for a Brazilian steakhouse. There's this place that does an all you can eat sort of deal. It's not the best quality, but it's pretty good."

"Huh, yeah, I'm down. How much is it?"

"Don't worry about it. Vicky got mom to cover it."

I gently shoulder-checked her. "Isn't the guy supposed to pay?"

"Your mom a lawyer?"

"Touche. I concede before your wisdom."

"Damn straight." Then, surprising me, she held out her arms.

I stared at her blankly. "What?"

"Ride, you dork," she said with a cheeky grin. "You may as well take us there."

"As the lady commands," I replied with an exaggerated bow.

I thought about the options available. The problem with normal types was that there were so goddamn many of them. Pidgeot? Did that already. Fearow? Too much like pidgeot. That went for staraptor too.

No. No flight. Too cliche.

So something on land… Taurus? I could make all the cowpie jokes, but I already pretended to be offended at that one chicken shop's "dino nuggets" as aurorus. Too much of the same just wasn't funny. Comedy was an art, damnit!

For a moment, I was sorely tempted to become dodrio.

Those derpy, hyper-aggressive pokemon were some of my favorites of those native to Kanto, if only because watching them argue with themselves was hilarious.

"What? You run out of inspiration?" Amy snarked. "Don't tell me the great Menagerie can't even sweep a girl off her feet."

"Give me a moment, woman. Comedy takes time!"

"I don't need comedy; I need a ride. Chop, chop! I'm hungry too!"

"Ugh, fine." Then, I had an idea. There was something uniquely delightful about turning into a not-motorcycle. For the gags if nothing else. "Prepare to be amazed. Shift, cyclizar!"

I instinctively bowed into my "ride form." My tail curled up on itself as a throat sac inflated, forming wheels. It was one of the most iconic pokemon in Paldea according to Arceus. It formed a mutualistic relationship with humans 10,000 years ago, providing humans rides in exchange for… shared body heat… and because it felt companionship through contact…

At least it was mild-mannered.

"I… I've gotta say, this is the weirdest pokemon I've ever been… and I've been a clay jar before…"

"Bl-Menagerie? What the fuck are you?"

"A cyclizar… a cycle… lizard… Don't ask…"

"I honestly have no idea how to react right now."

I let out a throaty growl that sounded uncomfortably like a revving engine. "You can start by hopping on, your highness. Here I am, sweeping you off your feet."

"Fine, whatever." She hiked up her robes and swung a leg over my back. Even through her jeans, I noticed how warm her body was as she leaned in to grab me by the… handlebars… that seemingly appeared from my scales.

"Ready?"

"Yeah. How does this even work?"

"Like this," I said smugly.

I took off at a leisurely cruise. Cyclizars could apparently hit seventy miles per hour, a far cry from the absolute speed demons like pidgeot, but there was no need for that speed.

My throat sac and tail spun… somehow… and we began to move forward.

"Wait, how the hell are your wheels spinning?"

I let out a full-body shrug that pressed her flush against my back. "Fuck if I know. Praise be to Arceus, mightiest of llamas who spat into the void and created all of existence with his Thousand Hands."

"Don't start with that."

"Hey, girlfriend mine, you should respect my religion."

"I will when it's not horseshit you spew for the giggles."

"You say that now, just you wait. Lord Arceus will move in your life and one day, you'll come to see the truth."

“And what truth is that?”

“That there is an Origin of All and he is shaped like an alpaca.”

"Left," she droned, ignoring my proselytizing in favor of actually getting where we were supposed to.

We drove on in silence. Her occasionally looking at her phone and me trying not to be too happy at having Amy pressed against me like this.

Stupid body heat. Stupid cyclizar. Stupid girlfriend.

X

Seven minutes and a very confused traffic cop later, we arrived at Vaca em Chamas, Blazing Cow according to Amy. The sign outside was a blazing red cow with elaborate flame designs on it. I wondered how they'd react if I showed up as a Paldean taurus one day.

There, we met the bombastic blonde herself. She was as peppy as ever, seemingly without a care in the world.

"Ames!" she shouted, nearly tackling her sister off my back in a bone-crushing hug. "What's up? Did Menagerie become a motorcycle?"

Her sister leaned into her hug with a happy sigh. "Yeah… Somehow… I mean, I think I can work out how he detached his tail into the back wheel, but I'm still trying to work out how that throat sac spins."

I drove out from under them, leaving Amy fully in her sister's arms. "I told you. I can ride like a motorcycle by the grace of the great alpaca upstairs."

"I swear to god, you're going to start a cult one day and I'm going to laugh in your face when you accidentally get made its high priest or something."

"You won't be laughing because you'll be our first virgin sacrifice."

"Real heroic of you," she drawled. "Now come here, I'm still trying to figure you out."

"Nope." I shifted back and began walking into the restaurant.

"Menagerie! Come on~" Amy whined. "Switch back!"

"Can't. Gotta eat. Oh, and lovely to see you again, Victoria."

"Hey, Menagerie!" the blonde chirped as we stood before the greeter.

The greeter, a young man in a cheap vest named Vince, seemed a bit starstruck by three heroes and my causal use of powers, but he did his job admirably and only stared for a little bit before leading us to our seats.

I had to hand it to Blazing Cow, they really knew how to whet an appetite. The restaurant was set up in such a way as to show off their open kitchen, with chefs working specially made grills in plain sight of the customers. Fragrant aromas wafted from the kitchen, heady and pungent in the best of ways.  The smell of garlic and herbs stung my nose and made me want to claim an entire skewer for myself.

The three of us ordered all you can eat so with a set price already worked out, I felt no reason to hold back. And thanks to their serving style, the waiters, called gauchos, passed by our table in minutes.

We decided to start the buffet with a slice of picanha. According to the gaucho named Hector, it was a top sirloin seasoned with rock salt and roasted over an open flame. It was the signature steak of Blazing Cow and the hallmark of churrasco-style cooking.

I had no idea what he was saying. My cooking knowledge stretched from the basics in the kitchen to some survivalist campfire cookery. Give me a pot and an open fire and I'll give you a mean stew. Anything more sophisticated than that or meat on a stick flew over my head.

To my surprise, Vicky seemed into it, nodding along as Hector went into more and more detail about the churrasco cooking process. He did eventually have to leave to make his rounds across the tables, but returned carrying another cut.

He held the skewer proudly, like a conquistador returning from battle, and slid it towards her. "This, Glory Girl, is alcatra, one of the most iconic cut of steak in churrasco. It is from the same part of the cow as picanha, top sirloin, but this cut is heartier. Shall I cut you a piece?"

"Yes, please!" Vicky flashed him a dazzling smile. I could practically see the man's ego puff up at that.

Across from me, I saw Amy roll her eyes. She couldn't have been less subtle if she announced it with a megaphone, but poor Hector was all but lost in her sister's charms.

I leaned in to whisper. "Does this happen a lot?"

"Like you wouldn't believe. On the plus side, it keeps me from getting hit on."

"I think people have enough sense not to hit on you in front of your boyfriend."

"Joy," Amy drawled. If sarcasm could be weaponized, she could probably give a tyranitar reasons to be afraid.

"Hey, you guys want some?" Vicky gestured. "Hector's great, he's got all the meat."

I slid my plate over. "Yeah, thanks."

He did eventually leave and another gaucho came by with three thick pork loins stabbed through one skewer. I could smell heavy paprika and other seasonings on the meat that made me salivate. It was apparently called a lombo and was my favorite by far.

After that gaucho left, we flipped the little cardboard coaster upside down from green to red, signaling to all the staff that we were happy with the food we'd received for now.

Seeing we'd be without interruptions, Vicky turned her bubbly grin our way. "So!" she chirped.

"Vicky," Amy groaned.

"Hey, I haven't said anything yet."

"But I know you."

Victoria giggled. "So, how was your work-date?"

"It wasn't a work-date," Amy said, chomping angrily at her steak.

"It wasn't," I agreed, making her nod gratefully. "But I posed for her. She fondled me in pleasurable ways. I then sang for the hospital ward before we finally got to work. But it wasn't a date. At. All."

Amy shot me a withering look even as Victoria grinned like the liepard that caught the pidove. "Must you?"

"I must. It is the solemn duty of boyfriends and sisters alike to embarrass you. Isn't that right?"

Vicky gave me a high five. "Damn straight. It's a sacred alliance, Ames."

"Indeed, one founded on tradition as old as mankind."

"So did you actually get up to hanky-panky in the hospital?" she asked, eyebrows waggling like a dirty old man.

"Vicky!" Amy yelled. Her atomic blush was back.

"We did not," I interrupted. "I just turned into a few different forms and let her examine my biology. I also used a sound-based move to heal people at the burn ward, which was what I meant when I said I sang."

Vicky pouted cutely. "Oh, poop. That's way lamer than I was expecting."

"Did you think your sister was the type?"

"Yeah, sis, you calling me a slut?" Amy jabbed her sister in the side.

"Hey!" she yelped with a bark of laughter. "Fine, did you at least enjoy riding your boyfriend all across town?"

"Ugh, you suck. Both of you."

I laughed as I watched the sisters descend into good-natured bickering. They were a lot funnier to hang out with when Victoria wasn't putting on a show for her court at lunchtime. Which wasn't to say she wasn't being genuine there, but there was a certain reservedness at Arcadia that she lacked here.

We eventually finished our first course and flipped the sticker back around. This time, we decided to try something new. Hector recommended a cordeiro, lamb chops, so that's what we went with.

"So, Glory Girl," I asked.

"Hmm? What's up?"

"Anything on the grapevine? I'm not all that plugged in to cape news and whatnot. Is there anything you can fill me in on?"

The question was important. From the Future Sight session with Lady Photon, I knew that there were several threats to watch for beyond just Coil. The Empire would undoubtedly try to break out their leader. ABB might get aggressive now that there was a whole lot of blood in the water. And that wasn't including the impending arrival of the Travelers and Heartbreaker’s kids.

Victoria tried to daintily cut the lamb chop with a knife then gave up, picking up the whole thing and taking a meaty bite straight off the bone. She chewed in thought. "Uhh, I hear Sere's in hot water with the PRT? He's a vigilante who works just outside the city, kind of in one of those suburb areas. He got a bit rough with a street gang. I heard Triumph went over there to give the guy a warning. I'm not sure that's what you were talking about though."

"It's not. I was wondering if you heard anything about the Empire or ABB moving now that Kaiser's behind bars."

"Hmm," Vicky hummed. "That's hard. I mean, it was only yesterday. Awesome job by the way."

"Thanks. Yeah, I guess I'm feeling a little nervous because Hookwolf, Krieg, and Purity are all free. I mean, one of them's bound to try to free Kaiser, right?"

"I mean, probably? In my professional opinion-"

Amy snorted. "You? Professional?"

"Hey! I can be smart too, sis!"

"Sure, but you're hardly a professional."

"Anyway," Victoria bulldozed on, gamely ignoring Amy's perfectly valid criticism. "If I had to guess, it's Hookwolf you have to worry about."

I tapped the table with a finger. "Hmm? Him? He wasn't much."

"Hah, well, maybe not for you, fire-doggo, but he's a big deal. I think he's the most likely person to act because of Stormtiger."

"Stormtiger? That half-naked man with a cat mask?"

"Yup."

"Why him?"

"Rumor has it that Hookwolf, Stormtiger, and Cricket are really chummy. Like, knew each other before being capes maybe. So he might start something to get his friend out even if he isn't loyal to Kaiser."

"Huh… I'll have to make note of that," I told her. "Thanks. I thought Purity was Kaiser's wife? Girlfriend? I don't know. PHO's a wild place."

Vicky shrugged. "Ex. Not sure what flavor, but their relationship was over, pretty sure. Maybe he went begging to her to get her to help out yesterday?"

"Okay, so depending on how she feels about him, she might bother to rescue him too. Anything on Krieg?"

"I mean… Not really? I'd say he's the least likely to act, but I honestly don't know much about the guy."

"Fair enough. We'll just have to wait about the ABB. Lung's pretty mercurial from what I understand."

"Yeah, sorry I can't give you a whole lot. It's not like I get invited into PRT meetings."

"It's fine," I assured her. "I'm sure they're mostly just freaking out that I can gas people to sleep instantly or something."

"Hehehe, yeah, Clock still won't stop making fun of Vista, you know."

"She has earned the Spheal of Disapproval," I said solemnly. "She is the killer of fun and deserves to be judged."

"Right, of course she is."

The conversation topic was getting a bit too serious, though admittedly that was my fault, so I decided to change things up a bit. "Hey, Amy."

"Sup," she replied, gnawing on a rib of lamb.

"What's your favorite form so far?"

She narrowed her eyes warningly. "Menagerie…"

"No pranks, just an honest question."

"Hmm… I don't know? I guess that lizard-cycle thing you just turned into. Its biology was the most interesting. Oh, and that one pink rabbit thing you used to heal."

"Cyclizar and audino. Why those?"

"Interesting biology, I told you. Your 'audino?'" she tried out the unfamiliar word. "Yeah, that thing. It had a really amazing biology, especially the ears. I'd never thought about the way your cochlea is formed."

Vicky chimed in after a slurp of cola. "Mine's the ice-dino. I still want another ride, by the way."

"Vicky, you fly," Amy reminded her.

"Yeah, but I got to ride a dinosaur. You know that's been my childhood dream, Ames. I'm serious, remember when I was eight and had Sir Stegorawrus?"

"Oh yeah! I remember that. Didn't Crystal blast a hole through it on accident?"

"Ugh, don't remind me," she pouted. "Sir Stegorawrus has yet to be avenged!"

"She was experimenting with her power I think? She found out she could fire lasers from other parts of her body and not just her hands."

I laughed as I finished my meal and flipped the coaster back to green. "Oh, really? I didn't know that."

Amy's grin was distinctly malicious. Perhaps she was just happy to have someone else to tease. I really did a number on her. "Yup. Crystal back then was really cringey. Like, she went trick-or-treating as Aunt Sarah for four years in a row."

"I meant her firing lasers from other parts of her body."

"Oh, yeah, that too. Ask her to show you her 'Sparkle Pirouette Kick' when you get the chance."

"Ames, you know Crystal's going to kill him for that," Vicky said with a laugh. "It's from a dark part of her life, okay?"

"I mean, the SPK was effective. It beheaded Sir Stegorawrus and cut the windowpane in half."

"She's still going to kill him if he asks."

I grinned. "I might. She seems like she's got her life together so it's interesting hearing stories about her when she was younger."

Vicky clapped her hands. Just then, a third gaucho came along with a skewer of chicken thighs still on the bone. I waved him down with a happy smile and loaded my plate with two legs.

"So, Menagerie," Vicky said, "mind showing us a shift?"

I hummed around a chicken leg. I was surprised, but this might have been my favorite so far. It was lathered in a spicy, peppery sauce that had a sharp kick of lemon. The meat was so juicy that I had to soak up what ran down my chin before it got into my gorget. "I don't know, Vicky. I don't think the restaurant would appreciate me changing forms."

"If they say yes?"

I saw the sapphire twinkle in her eyes. "Sure, if you can convince the restaurant manager, I don't mind showing off a little." I held out a hand before she could zip off. "But! You can't use your aura to do it."

"Hey, I don't always rely on my aura you know," she pouted. It was adorable and no doubt would have moved the hearts of most, but I was made of sterner stuff.

Once you had to say no to a grown gardevoir throwing a tantrum over pudding, no amount of cuteness overload would be enough to shake you. In hindsight, that was probably why Titania bothered negotiating with the Hoenn League after establishing her “court” in Petalburg Woods. She had a hell of a sweet tooth and you couldn't really satisfy that living in the middle of the woods.

Either way, I saw Vicky fly off. Amy rolled her eyes. "You know she's going to succeed, right? She can be scarily convincing when she wants to be."

"Sure, but that's fine. I just don't want to do something to hurt the restaurant."

"Cool. When she gets back, show me something with interesting biology."

I thought about it. "Interesting biology? What does that even mean?"

"I don't know. Like… Got something that pisses acid?"

"No? None that come to mind? Ames, do you have a golden shower kink on top of a furry kink?"

I felt a hard thump on my shin. "Gah! Fuck," she hissed. "Why is your armor so hard?"

"It's not the only thi-"

"Finish that sentence and I will end you."

"Party-pooper."

"Whatever. I want biology that isn't normally seen on earth."

"That's all my pokemon."

That was when Vicky flew back. "Mr. Perez says it's okay! Now show me something cute!"

"Yeesh, demanding much? But fine. I'll try to find something that's cute and has interesting biology, whatever the fuck that means."

"Fuck you," Amy grumbled with a mouthful of chicken. Girl had awful table manners, but in a cute greedent stuffing its cheeks sort of way. "Now change for me like I'm an abusive girlfriend."

"Hah! Ames!" her sister gasped, scandalized.

I sighed dramatically. "See, Victoria? This is the true face of Amy. You clearly didn't hug her enough growing up."

"Well that can be fixed," she grinned, leaning in to glomp her sister. "Now amuse us!"

"You're both the same. You just want me for my body."

"Yup, totally."

I laughed as I thought about the forms available to me. Cute? Interesting biology? Clearly, there was only one real option here. "Oh, I know just the one. Shift, eevee!"

I became tiny. And adorable. And floofy. And all those other words. It was a strange feeling, becoming the single most popular creature in my old world. Literally no one disliked eevee. It practically had its own cuteness aura, so much so that more than one professor jokingly said they should study it to see if its charm was a supernatural effect.

I hopped onto the table and crouched, wagging my bushy tail in a playful prowl.

Vicky reacted exactly how every other teenage girl in my old world did. "SQUEEEEEE!!!!!! You're so cuutttteeeee!!!!!!"

In a flash, I was in her arms, face pressed awkwardly into her chest. "Holy shit, you're so soft! How? How are you this soft???"

Before I could answer, she lifted me to her face and buried her nose in my fur. She rubbed her face in it, running her nose along my side back and forth like I was the fluffiest pillow in the world.

It was… It was overwhelming. Despite their adaptability, eevee were almost exclusively found in cities because they'd been domesticated so thoroughly. Like a growlithe, I craved attention and affection. It was even a common saying that eevee often developed a similar facial structure to their trainers. Untrue, but that spoke to just how often trainers saw themselves in their eevee, perhaps more than any other pokemon.

And so, seeing no problem with it, I caved. I allowed my higher mental faculties to temporarily shut off and surrendered to the cuddles that this gorgeous blonde was freely offering to me.

I let out a squeak that was halfway between a pleased growl and a purr. It was recognizably a vocal proof of pleasure, but also distinct from any cat on Earth-Bet. Understandably, it got Victoria cooing all over again.

"Ooh, yeah, this is my favorite form now. Ice-dino is second. Ames, you gotta feel this fur," she exclaimed. She held me out towards her sister like she was Rafiki and I was Simba.

"Vicky! It's not that cute, it's just a brown fox."

I blinked, caught flat-footed by the pang of heartache that pierced through me. Me? An eevee? Not cute? And said by my own girlfriend?

Unacceptable.

Fake relationship or not. Amy Dallon or not. Grumpiest grump in the whole wide world or not!

This. Could. Not. Stand.

I wriggled out of Victoria's grasp and landed on the table. I placed a single paw on her plate and slid it away from her.

"Hey!" I pulled it further from her when she reached for it and snapped up the last of her sirloin. "I was eating that!"

"I'm not cute?"

"No, you're just a fox. Nothing special about you."

I padded up to her, taking the place of her plate so she couldn't look anywhere else but at me. Staring up at her, I readied my most heartbroken, dejected look. I willed the heartache of rejection to the surface and felt the sting of tears in my eyes. "Not… cute…?"

Vicky gasped. "Amy, you made Menagerie cry!"

"Oh, for fuck's sake. Yay, you can cry on command. Is that your superpower?"

I sniffed and turned a heartbroken look towards her sister. "V-Vicky… Am… Am I not wanted…? Even though I picked this form just for Amy…"

I was back in Vicky's arms in a second. "Ames, just give him a hug."

Amy stared at her sister turned traitor, utterly enslaved to the floofy adorableness that was eevee. Cuteness was a superpower. I proved it here and now. "Okay, that's bullshit. You know he's doing this for attention."

"Yeah, but look at him!"

"I am. I see a fox-cat thing with more fur than brains. Watch, you'll be picking stray fur out of your shirt for weeks."

"Worth it if I get to hug this. Who's a good boy? You're a good boy! You're the bestest boy!"

I felt my mind blue-screen for a moment. I didn't think an eevee's charm could be this effective. Already, it sounded like she'd forgotten that I was a person, not a pet.

I ambled out of her grip again and landed directly on Amy's lap this time. I shook the tears away and stood up, placing both paws on her chest. "Okay, no more fake-crying. Seriously, pet me."

"Ugh, will you stop groping me if I give you scritches?"

I flushed awkwardly and got down. "Sorry, that wasn't my intention. But seriously, pet me. You'll like it, promise."

"Whatever will get you out of this form and into something more interesting faster," she huffed. She reached for me and placed a hand on my head… and froze. "Woah…"

"Ames?" Vicky tried. "What's up?"

"What the fuck are you?"

"He's the goodest boy, Ames."

"Unstable? No, the DNA is fine. I… How do you have multi-variable DNA? No, wait, I see it. It's like you have certain parts of your genome that only activate when specific conditions are met. Is… Is your entire body made of stem cells?"

I shrugged, shooting her the smuggest smirk I could as an eevee. Unexpectedly expressive, I'll have you know. "See? Told ya you'd like this form."

"Whatever. Stay still. Okay, so you clearly have differentiated cells, but they're like… only halfway there? They still have room for more differentiation? But how? What's the catalyst? There… There isn't one…?"

Her sister and I traded knowing looks as we watched Amy descend into an endless, rambling spiral of biology jargon neither of us could hope to understand.

Eventually, I got bored and hopped onto the table again to grab more food from my plate.

"No, come back!" Amy whined, grabbing me by the waist and tugging me back to her. Even in this form, she wasn't actually stronger than me, but I could hardly tear up the tablecloth beneath my claws so I had no choice but to be dragged back.

"Vicky, dear, do you mind putting my plate in front of me?" I asked. "I'd rather eat something while your sister molests me in public."

"Hah, your sense of humor's still the same, huh?" Vicky laughed with a wry grin.

"Of course. It's perfect. Why change perfection?"

"God, you and Clockblocker must never meet."

"Agreed. I can do better than a third-rate comic."

"Ooh, is that a callout? You know there are like eight different cameras recording you, right?" She got me my food and smiled happily as she watched me eat on the table and Amy descend back into ceaseless mumbling about RNA and complex protein structures that defied common logic.

"Point." I turned to face the closest camera. "Clockblcoker is not funny. He wishes he could be half the comedian I am. If he wants to prove me wrong, he can record a video of a standup routine on PHO."

I heard a whole lot of mumbling and catcalls at that, something about claws coming out, but I ignored them and went back to eating. I flipped the coaster back to green and snagged myself another piece of lamb. Those ribs were really tender.

X

When I switched back, Amy immediately demanded that I become an eevee again as soon as possible so that's what I did. The three of us sat around, nibbling on bites of succulent meat and chatting. At least, Vicky and I did some chatting. Amy continued to molest me.

And that was how I knew she was well and truly out of it, not even my perfect humor could get her to react.

The manager came by once to get a picture with us so he could put it on a wall somewhere and offered us free dessert. That was nice of him, but that opened the floodgates for everyone else to approach and that was more or less the end of dinner.

The three of us flew outside, me cradled in Amy's arms and Amy in Vicky's.

"Thanks for dinner, Vicky. Please tell Brandish I appreciate it," I told her sincerely. It wasn't often an orphan like me got to eat like this. Usually, I had to pester Siebold until he caved.

"Psh, this was so worth it," she said, waving me off. As much as the Arcadia rumor mill liked to give Vicky shit for making Dean pay for everything, the truth was that she was plenty wealthy on her own. I'd come to find that it was more Dean trying to be an old-fashioned gentleman than anything. "Now, Ames, you gotta let him go."

"Don't wanna," my nominal girlfriend mumbled. "We'll keep him."

"I don't think we're allowed pets."

"Don't care."

I tried to sound offended. "Hey, don't I get an opinion?"

"No," both sisters chorused as one.

Vicky chuckled and slid her hair behind her ear. "Nope. I'd totally keep you if I could. Expect to be kidnapped for emergency cuddle duties."

"You know, excessive cuddles is pokemon abuse," I pointed out sagely. "Too much of a good thing is bad."

"No such thing as too much cute."

I hopped down and shifted back, to Amy's vocal protests. "Yeah, well, I still have some things to do. You two have a nice night."

"We will," Vicky said, wrangling her weakly struggling sister. "See you around, Menagerie."

I walked a distance until my timer reset before switching out to pidgey and flying off to escape any overly interested parties. Then, I transformed into a litwick behind an old alley and ducked into the earth until I came along one of the tunnels I dug yesterday. From there, it was a simple matter to change and head back home.

Back at the Egg House, I received my earful from Mrs. Wells for skipping school today with appropriate contriteness and headed upstairs to complete my schoolwork. I set my phone on a vibrating alarm before tucking it directly under my arm, a power nap before heading out again.

Author’s Note

No shade on Subway. That shit got me through college. And grad school. It’s one of those fast food joints that get mocked more than it deserves because it became a meme. On another note, Brazilian steakhouses are the bomb.

Eevee is like crack to Amy. Shaper canonically encourages her dissatisfaction with healing. By the same token, I’d assume Shaper would flood Amy with dopamine if it thought it could get Amy to behave a certain way, e.g. when exposed to interesting biology. So yes, Amy’s own power is Pavloving her for Blake.