ACL: 12. Just a weedle tired of making new puns... (Patreon)

Chapter 12: Just a weedle tired of making new puns…

Brockton Bay, NH, USA
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Type: Poison

I ate a cup of yogurt and some self-grown berries for breakfast before starting on my run across town. It was a far cry from a filling breakfast, but it was enough to settle my stomach while I went on my run.

My feet pounded pavement while I considered what I wanted to do for the day. Today was the first time my aura had settled on poison before and… I was stumped. I'd made a name for myself as a hero focused on civic duty over fighting villains and poison… wasn't really good for that.

'I suppose I could go… eat garbage…?' I thought. I then discarded the idea. It wasn't as though I couldn't, plenty of cities used controlled populations of grimer to regulate municipal waste, but the idea rubbed me the wrong way anyway. Was it pride? I didn't want to be the "garbage-eating hero" if I could help it.

'I can visit the base. I should do that anyway so I can give Emily her burner phone. The portable power station I bought probably needed charging as well, even if she used it sparingly. I was sure I could charge that with toxel. 'And while I'm there, I can give her more money for food, maybe talk to her about being a hero while I was at it.'

'I also promised the Wards I'd patrol with them.'

That one, I wasn't as thrilled about. Then again, perhaps it was a good thing that I'd ended up with such a combat-oriented type. If I ran into any villains, I'd have to be very careful to pull my punches.

In the end, it was all immaterial. I owed Dr. Camacho my time at the shelter before I could do anything else.

The sweat coating my face made it shine despite the chill of January as I strolled into the shelter at 9 AM. Stacy sat in the receptionist's chair, her head in her hands as she nursed a mug of coffee like it was her baby.

"Yo, how're things, Stace?" I waved cheerily.

A single raised middle finger was her reply. "Fuck you, it's too early. Go get changed, hombre."

"What? Not a morning person?"

"Shut up, estupido. I had a late night, alright?"

"Fine, fine, you grump. I'll let you finish your coffee." I strolled inside and found her father tending to some of the feed. "Hey, doc."

"Blake, glad you made it."

"Is Stacy okay? Cause she looks like she's got the mother of all hangovers."

He raised a suspicious eyebrow at that. "And you know about hangovers?"

My mind flashed back to the night after we'd taken out Team Rocket. Lance and I got into a drinking contest using wine aged inside a shuckle and… suffice to say I didn't wake up in my bed. Or anyone else's for that matter.

"Ehehehe… Pretend you never heard that?"

"Kids these days. Stacy's fine. She just spent too much time hanging out with her friends last night and got home late. Don't let her shove her work on you, you hear?"

"I don't do that."

He leveled me with a knowing look that all fathers seemed to develop. "You do. A pretty older girl bats her lashes at you and you're shoveling parrot crap while she finishes her lab assignment in the back office."

"That only-"

"Happened once. I get it, Blake. You're a good kid. But I want her to suffer the consequences of her actions today. You get me?"

I nodded. Far be it for me to question his parenting. "Crystal, doc."

"Good," he said, placing a clipboard in my hand, "now go count the sacks of kibbles in the back."

"Yes, sir."

That was how I spent my shift. It was easy work, I just had to make sure that we had all the supplies the paper said we had and write down any discrepancies so the doctor could decide what he wanted to do later. I was halfway done when my burner phone vibrated with an incoming text.

Aegis: Hello? Is this Menagerie? This is Aegis of the Wards.

Menagerie: Hello, Aegis. This is Menagerie. What can I do for you?

Aegis: Vista and I will be up for an afternoon patrol if you're available. Are you still up for a joint patrol today?

Menagerie: Sure, where are you headed?"

Aegis: We're going to be starting our patrol at the northern ferry station then head west to Winslow. That's your area, right?

I frowned. Did they think I lived near Winslow based on my garden run? To be fair to them, they weren't wrong, but it wasn't like they had any real information about my habits. For all they knew, I could be a university student. I wasn't sure what annoyed me more, that they were guessing or that they were close. I decided to keep things vague.

Menagerie: Close enough that I wouldn't mind visiting the school again.

Aegis: Great, what time would you like to start?

Menagerie: 1:30 good?

Aegis: Yes, that sounds good. We'll see you then.

X

I finished up and enjoyed an early lunch with the good doctor and a much livelier Stacy. I noticed that the food was starchier and greasier than I knew to be their normal fare and smiled. It seemed like the doc had deemed his daughter punished enough.

The story came out in full while we ate. Stacy hung out with some of her friends, who went to the Palanquin, the club run by Faultline just off the northern edge of the Boardwalk. She sounded like she had fun, though she really should have known better than to mix liquors through the night. Two glass of red, a shot of Jack Daniels she let some guy buy for her, and then a few screwdrivers to keep up with her friends. The girl knew how to party.

I wondered what exactly she knew about the Palanquin. Was it worth plying her for information?

I thanked them for the meal and grabbed what could generously be called my costume before hopping a bus to the ferry. I made it in time, if only barely, to find the two Wards already waiting for me.

Aegis wore a lot of red, with a kite shield as his emblem. I'd read rumors that it was because the costume hit bloodstains better, but that seemed rather dark for Wards so I didn't trust it. He was a tall, well-built boy who looked like he could be trying for a football scholarship.

Vista was as adorable as always, though I figured she'd try to stab me if she heard me tell her so. She had a smile on her face but she was bouncing from foot to foot, eager to get started.

Aegis held out a hand. "Menagerie?"

"Yes, that's me. I'll get a costume eventually."

"Right, good to have you. So like I said, we're going to be heading out west until we hit Winslow High, then south before looping back east to the Boardwalk."

I nodded. That seemed sensible. It was a problematic area as far as crime so three heroes could do some good there, but it wasn't so dangerous as to warrant Protectorate response.

I told him so and we were off. They started by reading me in on the rules and procedures of a Wards patrol. To start, they began by telling me how their console system worked, what their process was for responding to violent crime, etc.

All very boring, but also very much necessary. I remembered some of the procedures Lance followed in the G-Men. They were one of the big reasons why I didn't join.

"So," Vista said as we strolled off one rooftop onto another a block away. "Why aren't you transforming?"

I shrugged. "I haven't seen a reason to. Why? Do you want another dino-ride?"

"They're childish."

"Laserdream, Glory Girl, and Sabah would disagree with you."

"Yeah, well, they can do childish things because they're gorgeous and tall and look like grownups," she huffed. "I don't because I look adorable and get turned into more of a team mascot than I already am."

"That's not how it is, Vista," Aegis chided. "You know that isn't how I think of you."

"It's how Stalker thinks of me."

"Well that's because she's silly," I tried to reassure her. "There's nothing wrong with doing something you enjoy, even if it looks childish."

The Wards Leader nodded as he floated alongside us. "He's right. I wouldn't mind riding a dino. Or a dragon. Got any dragons in there?"

"Haha, depends on the day."

"Ha!" Vista crowed. "I told you he can't have every form at the same time."

"Huh, were you guys betting on my powers?"

"Yup, and I won. I said you only get some forms and can lock them down with a theme like dinosaurs. Maybe once a week?"

I shook my head. "You're a smart girl, Vista."

"See," she exclaimed proudly. "You owe me ice cream, Aegis."

Aegis shook his head. "I notice he didn't say you were right, only that he had access to some forms but not others."

"Tell him."

I let out an amused chuckle. "I have access to some forms but not others. That's never been a secret."

"But the exact rules you follow are?"

"Smart girl."

"You suck…"

"Very."

I allowed myself a smile as the youngest and oldest Wards bickered like siblings. The two were surprisingly friendly with one another, enough that I was starting to wonder if Shadow Stalker was really as unapproachable as everyone made her seem. Either that, or Aegis was a great big brother figure for Vista, responsible enough that she could respect him but not so strict as to enable her bad habits.

Thinking back, I realized I missed something. Galarian weezing, the "dandiest" pokemon, was a fairy/poison dual type that literally ate pollution and expelled clean air. Yes, this could be a good way to help out the city…

Vista and Aegis realized I wasn't following. "Menagerie? What's wrong? Why'd you stop?"

"I just realized I do have a form that might help here. Shift, Galarian weezing!" I shouted, pumping a fist into the sky.

I felt myself expand, growing another three feet and bloating like a balloon. I looked even bigger than I was because I began to levitate into the air. Then, a part of me pinched off, leaving a thin connection between us. He was me. I was him. We were one.

It was a thoroughly disconcerting experience, especially since I could feel my aura not quite split in two. Then, my mind became accustomed to the change. It was as though I'd always had this form, a twin in body if not in soul.

I smiled with both faces as I allowed one head to inflate and the other to deflate. It was so good to see the youth do their best to improve life for the unwashed masses. "Good afternoon, young heroes."

"M-Menagerie…?" Vista stammered as Aegis took a combat stance. My transformation probably caught him off guard.

"I am indeed Menagerie."

"Why did you transform?"

"This form can take in polluted air and clean it, so I figured this would be a good way to contribute to the city."

"I-I see," Aegis muttered. He said something else to console before sighing. "Why do you have a British accent?"

I grinned at him and alternatively inflated my two heads, waggling my eyebrows all the while. "Why not, my good chap?"

"You're so weird."

"Now, now, manners maketh man, my dear boy. Come along. Let us reassure the unwashed masses with our glorious visages and perhaps do a little spring cleaning on the side."

I began to float away even as Vista and Aegis locked eyes. The short blonde shook her head emphatically. "I didn't know he could do that either."

I turned. "Are you really surprised? You are heroes. Stiff upper lip, as I always say."

I spent the first hour floating behind Aegis, looking for all the world like the weirdest set of bagpipes ever made. I found out early on that I could make farting noises by inflating and deflating one head so that's what I did, to the delight of children below.

"Excuse me, my dears, I do believe I've had a bit much to eat. It's made me quite gassy," I said with a burp, sending the green smoke that made up my mustache out like a ring as my shift timer ran out.

"Must you do that?" Aegis sighed.

"I don't, but it's more fun this way."

Whatever Aegis was about to say was stopped by the sound of arguing in the street below. i glanced down to see a handful of teenagers tagging a wall. "Console, this is Aegis. I have four kids spray painting a wall. Permission to engage?"

I glanced at Vista. "We need permission to warn people not to… paint walls?"

She nodded. "Actually, yes. It's not because they're dangerous, though one of them could potentially have an actual weapon. It's because the PRT likes to know where their patrols are on the routes at all times in case a fast response is necessary."

"Huh, yeah, I guess that makes sense. So what's the procedure for stuff like this?"

"Graffitiing is a misdemeanor at best and the cops don't really care enough to prosecute, but we still have to take down their information and keep them from doing it."

"It's a good chance to practice," Aegis added. "Vista, if you don't mind?"

She waved her hand and I saw space distort around us. More importantly, it distorted the street until there was nowhere for the four boys to go. One of them noticed and nudged his buddies, but not before Aegis floated down towards them from the roof.

"Hello, boys," he said. "You wouldn't happen to have permission to be doing that, do you?"

"Hey, it's Aegis," one said. "Fuck you, man. It's just a bit of harmless ink."

"Maybe, but I can't let you go around vandalizing buildings, especially with gang symbols."

"You can't prove we're part of a gang," another boy said defensively.

Aegis glanced meaningfully at the red and green scarf. "I can't?"

"It ain't a crime to wear a scarf, dickhead."

"Yeah! What if I'm just feelin' the Christmas spirit, huh?" the first boy chimed in.

The eldest Ward nodded. "You're right."

The four ABB wannabes looked surprised that he'd caved so quickly. "We are? Yeah, we are!"

"That's why I'm going to ask to see your school IDs. I'm not saying you've got anything on you, but if you're not part of a gang, you won't mind dropping your name with me, will you?"

I watched the boys grumble and moan, but there wasn't anywhere for them to go with Vista around. They tried to pretend they didn't have their IDs, but eventually caved and emptied their pockets. As Vista explained it to me, this fell under reasonable suspicion, though admittedly the exact nuance flew over my head.

"We can take down their names for the record," Vista explained. "You'd be surprised who gets caught for minor crimes, only for us to find out they're suspects in a murder or something. I'm not saying they are down there, but building a database helps."

I nodded. It made sense, but it was boring as all hell to watch.

We arrived at Winslow High. It looked as beat up as I remembered. No, it somehow looked more beat up now that I wasn't here in the evening. Like a crabominable's face, some things even Solgaleo's divine light couldn't improve…

I sighed. A part of me felt like I wasn't being fair to the school; I was sure the school administration tried their best, but it sure looked like they were in a losing battle with the junior gangbangers. As far as I could see, the only ones who could cut down on a gang's presence were the other gangs.

I saw a green dragon painted over a swastika, which itself was painted over the blue "M" of the Merchants, which itself was painted over what looked like the ABB logo. It was like a multi-layered cake of all the idiots in the city trying to one-up each other.

I wondered if Derek, that shitheel, was one of the ones to tag the walls.

"So…" I began, "are patrols normally this boring?"

"Yeah, basically," Vista said with a carefree shrug. "If anything, this beats signing autographs down by the Boardwalk."

"It's daytime so there aren't many overt crimes even in this area," Aegis nodded.

"Good to know. So where to now?"

"We're going to turn south and out of the Docks South neighborhood. Did you know this place used to be where all the portside factory and dock workers lived?"

"Don't they still live here? I mean, they grounded the tanker but it's not like they all left or anything."

"Yeah, I guess it's hard to call them dockworkers."

I shifted back into a Galarian weezing. By now, the transformation didn't even make them bat an eye. It wasn't much, but I thought me refreshing the air was doing more for the city than writing up a few kids for graffiti or something.

Besides, trolling them with random British puns while doffing my smokestack-tophats was fun.

We finished up a tour of the neighborhood around Winslow by handing out a few autographs to the high schoolers practicing on the football field. I had to refuse more than one dinosaur ride, but I was used to it at this point. Apparently, the picture of the girls on aurorus had already gone viral.

There was one girl who seemed less than enthused about our presence, but I figured that was because she was very dedicated to practice. She certainly looked fit enough.

We headed down south into the city. The Docks South was mostly a residential neighborhood, but after about half an hour, that began to bleed away and I saw a handful of stores and business buildings.

It was then that Aegis got a call.

"Aegis here," he spoke flatly. Gone was the friendly boy replaced by a professional hero. "Yes, console, I hear you. Westview and Seventh? Yes, we can be there."

"What's going on?"

Vista hopped in place, as excited as I was for something to finally happen. "Circus is robbing a jewelry store two blocks away and we have permission to engage. Come on!"

I nodded. That was good. I was feeling a little antsy, having eaten so much yet done so little. I had only just switched a minute or two ago, so I felt like I had a good ten or twelve minutes as Galarian weezing.

I followed the two heroes to the jewelry store. Steve's Wedding & Anniversary, seemed like a mom and pop kind of place. We arrived just in time to see a woman slam a sledgehammer through the window, breaking her way outside.

She took one look at us and sighed. It was a low, despondent sound, like a child who got caught with her hand in the cookie jar. She raised two fingers to her eyes, then pointed at Aegis before crossing her arms and letting out a full body huff.

"I don't suppose you paid for that," Aegis said with an audible frown. She shrugged, then offered us a cheeky wave. I wondered if the girl was mute or just liked to pretend to be a mime. "Then I'm going to have to ask you to come with us."

All around us, space began to distort as Vista cut off the villain. Seeing this, Circus swung her hammer over her shoulder and made a "come hither" motion.

As I watched, I tried to remember what I could about her. As far as I knew, she was… unimportant. She wasn't so much a player in the game as she was a piece to be moved or ignored by others. Unfortunately, I knew that she was acrobatic and had some sort of pocket dimension, but little else. Her insignificance lent her quite a lot of freedom and anonymity in that regard.

Aegis moved. I was fully familiar with the advantages of flight of course, but it was a different matter seeing it in person. He rocketed forward with the kind of speed that I knew for a fact I wouldn’t be able to react to in my human form. It was a sobering reminder of just how much I’d allowed myself to stagnate.

Circus, for her part, let out another exaggerated sigh and shrugged as if to say, “What can you do?” before dodging out of the way with a fancy pirouette. Three small throwing knives appeared in her offhand mid-spin and she flung them at the Wards Leader.

Three flashes of steel streaked through the air in a display of deft fingers that would have even impressed Koga. Aegis must have sensed something despite having flown by her, because he twisted in midair to dodge one of the blades. It sailed just past his eye, making him flinch. That brief moment was enough for two more throwing knives to nail his kidney and heart.

I remembered what Victoria said about escalation and winced. This girl wasn’t pulling any punches. Or was she willing to be more vicious because Aegis was a known brute? The trouble was, I didn’t know how much damage she could take and so couldn’t hit her with my best shot. Frankly, I was certain that my best would reduce the criminal clown to a puddle.

But how much was enough? Could she survive a full Sludge Bomb? Or maybe just a Sludge? Would fairy type aura be better here than poison? If not Strange Steam, then perhaps a weak Fairy Wind? Or perhaps a wide area attack like Heat Wave would be best to make sure she couldn’t dodge?

I didn’t know. The uncertainty paralyzed me. It wasn’t fear for my own life, judging by what I’d seen so far, Circus couldn’t do much to hurt me. It was fear for her. She wasn’t a pokemon. She lacked any innate aura worth mentioning, and so had zero resistance to my own.

In my hesitation, I almost missed Circus wave her hand. With a flamboyant flourish, she made the sledgehammer in her hand vanish before she swung at Aegis, seemingly holding empty air.

The hammer materialized just in time to slug Aegis on the head, but she was showboating too much, long enough for Aegis to gather himself and dodge the attack. He made a grab for her but she danced out of the way with ease, wagging a finger mockingly all the while. Frustrated, the Ward plucked the dagger out of his heart with an audible squelch.

Circus was about to move back further, but the street contracted around her. Or perhaps expanded would be the right word? The distance between her and the civilians watching the bloodbath suddenly stretched until even the acrobat couldn’t hope to cover the ground without leaving herself open.

“Excellent work, Vista, darling,” I praised. She was seeing to the first and foremost duty of a hero, that of saving lives. It also helped that I now had some space to launch some gaseous attacks without the fear of harming civilians.

“Don’t call me that,” she huffed.

The littlest Ward stared pointedly at me as if to say, “Are you going?” Trouble was, I still had no idea what I should do. What could I do when I knew so little about our opponent? A part of me just wanted to drown the area in Haze and leave her stumbling in the fog, but I didn’t want to do that to Aegis; it could potentially make things worse.

Decisions, decisions...

Vista was right. And adorable, but more importantly right. I couldn't just float around like some British dandy at a horse race. I was a hero damnit!

I still had no real clue how powerful pokemon moves were because of just how wide the range of power could be even among pokemon of the same species. Cynthia's garchomp could cleave mountains. A regular garchomp, not so much. So, I went for something weak that wouldn't poison her.

I hovered into the air and positioned myself so I wouldn't catch Aegis in the blast, then shouted, "Fairy Wind!"

A sphere of bright pink energy gathered around my mouths. In seconds, they grew too large to contain and fused with one another, launching forward as a sphere the size of a basketball.

The sphere of fairy type aura moved with deceptive speed. The clown whirled around at my shout and tried to dodge, but couldn't twist out of the way in time. She took a full body blow, launching her five feet away.

She let out a pained wuff as the wind was driven from her lungs, but like a liepard, she twisted in midair to skid along the ground on all fours.

Gone was the flair for the dramatics and the almost coquettish demeanor, replaced by tense caution. She was still on her feet, but even that simple Fairy Wind had clearly done a number on her. One? Two at most, I didn't think she could take more than that.

Still she refused to speak. Either she was fully mute or she was really dedicated to her craft. Her eyes flitted all over the place, looking for a way out.

Aegis flew at her again, but her hand flickered out of reality for a moment. In the next, she turned her head and dropped some kind of flash bomb. The street was filled with a deafening bang and a flash of brilliant white.

"Arggh!" he shouted. Vista and I were far enough away that we could ignore the bomb, but he was not.

He took a flailing swing towards where the flash had come from under the assumption that that was where Circus was.

She danced out of the way with catlike grace. He was so far off that she had the time to grab a second flashbang and hurl it in my direction. The space between us expanded slightly, but there wasn't enough time for Vista to warp it away from me.

'Circus has to have a supplier,' I thought. Her outfit was too polished. She clearly had some sort of sound dampening headwear. Her throwing knives were good quality steel and even that ridiculous sledgehammer seemed intentionally flamboyant rather than something haphazardly made. Then there were these flashbangs. They weren't the kind of gear you could buy at Home Depot.

I saw the flashbang sailing for my twin heads and did what came naturally to Blake. "Protect!"

Unfortunately, the instinct of a trainer wasn't the same as the instinct of a pokemon. Galarian weezings did not learn Protect naturally and while I made sure every single pokemon I had could perform the move instinctively, that didn't mean I could use it myself.

I closed my eyes but it wasn't enough. The light pierced like four daggers into my eyes and the bang struck like a clap of thunder. It wasn't enough to fully disorient me, but I couldn't see anything except as a blur.

I let out an audible sigh with both mouths. "Well, I feel like a daft sod…" I muttered.

"Protect what?" I heard Vista shout back at me.

"Don't mind it, darling. Mind telling me where she is?"

She must have pinched the space between us, because I then felt an ineffectual hand smack me upside my larger head. She shoved my floating head and I allowed her to rotate me like a pair of balloons. "I'm not your 'darling!' And she's right there!"

I saw a blurry red shape launch towards an alley. Circus was trying to make a break for it.

"Ah, thank you, darling. Mind closing the space off?"

Another ineffectual jab. "Done. Now do something!"

"Yes, darling. Now watch and marvel." I breathed deep. I allowed both of my heads to inflate as every single vent on my body inhaled the polluted air around me. Then, when I felt I could hold no more, I breathed out. "Clear Smog!"

The hyper-condensed smog launched out as though it were a solid object, blowing into the alley. I wasn't accurate enough to hit her, but it did land in her general vicinity. The impact was enough to destabilize the smog grenade and it filled the alley.

Circus was fast, but not quite fast enough. The smog consumed her in a bluish-white cloud, sending her coughing.

She was too experienced to sit still though. She immediately turned around and bounced out of the alley, ducking behind a car and out of sight.

She was coughing like an asthmatic forced to run a triathlon. Clear Smog was surprisingly harmful to humans in the same way that breathing in pure, undiluted oxygen was harmful: Human lungs just weren't robust enough to handle that kind of air and being exposed to "pure" air of this quality could leave someone feeling raw.

I could sympathize with her; Arceus knew I'd been there before.

She got up to run again but immediately stumbled as she hacked up a lung. She turned and threw me a hateful glare. Six knives materialized in her hands and despite her coughing, she threw them with an accuracy reminiscent of decidueye.

They weren't all for me though. I looked on in terror as three flashed towards Vista.

I needn't have worried though because space bent itself and the pavement seemingly rose up out of the ground like an undulating wave, catching the three daggers with ease. With a wave of her hand, the earth contorted itself and caught the daggers aimed at me as well.

She quirked an unimpressed eyebrow at Circus. "Really? Projectiles against a space warper?"

Circus turned to run, but Vista bent the space between us, allowing me to cross the full distance in an instant.

I stalled for a moment, unsure of what to do. I didn't want to try to hit her again; I was worried she'd actually die if I used a move. So, I did the only thing I could think of: I tried to grab her.

Not having hands, or opposable thumbs, the only thing I could do was to float forward and try to take a bite out of her.

She treated me like Aegis and dodged out of the way with contemptuous ease. I could feel Vista's glare boring twin holes in the back of my heads. I really didn't know what the hell I was thinking.

I floated there, wondering why I suddenly felt peckish for androgynous clowns, when Aegis flew back into the fray. His eyes were still closed shut, but he seemed to have no trouble navigating. Was it air pressure? Or maybe echolocation? It made me curious to know just how his power worked.

He then took a swing at her.

The flashbang must have really gotten on his nerves because he gave up on pulling his punches. Instead of another flying tackle, I saw his entire body coil and lash out in a haymaker that landed across her jaw. I could tell the exact moment that the lights went out.

She slumped forward like a marionette with her strings cut. Aegis laid her down gently on the ground and opened a bloodshot eye to give me a gimlet stare.

"Menagerie, did you just try to eat her?"

Both of my faces formed a disgusted expression. I spoke from two mouths at once in an echoing, British accent. "Yes, truly, I don't know what came over me. She's not even cooked right! Perhaps with a bit more seasoning…"

"What? No! We do not eat the villains!" he yelled.

"You are of course correct, my good lad. Truly a pity. Alas, she likely tastes awful. Sour grapes, as they say."

There were sirens off in the distance now, probably headed in our direction. I saw the space distort between us and the roof. Vista stepped through the wrinkle in Palkia's realm with her nose scrunched. "I can't tell if you're serious or not."

"Tis but a jest, my darling, just a bit of British humor."

"Don't call me 'darling.'"

I ignored her perfunctory protest. "I wanted to restrain her, but this form is rather unequipped for that, I fear."

"So you bit her."

"Thus, I attempted to bite her. I believe that is a rather pertinent distinction."

"We don't bite villains," Vista said tiredly. "You could have switched back.”

"I could, but I would both be slower and one hundred percent more stabbable. I do like not being stabbed. Speaking of which, is it normal for villains to strike with such viciousness, Aegis?"

The Wards Leader shrugged helplessly. He began to pluck the other knives in his body. I was surprised to see that the wounds didn't bleed much. "Yeah, pretty much. Everyone knows I'm a brute so they know I can take it."

I transformed back and tossed a quick Heal Pulse at Circus. That last punch from Aegis wasn't exactly light. I leveled him with a pointed look that he probably couldn't see through the bike helmet. "And that means you can try to knock her head off does it?"

"No, it doesn't," he admitted. "I stopped pulling my punches when she started throwing knives at Vista; she's a bit less durable than I am."

"I can handle myself," said Ward huffed.

"I know you can. That doesn't mean I like seeing it."

"She was trying to escape and the gas attack that Menagerie used probably made her desperate."

I nodded. She wasn't wrong there. The problem was, I got stuck with Galarian weezing and didn't have the time to wait out a minute to pick a more suitable form. Glory Girl had told me that proportional escalation was the spirit behind the unwritten rules, but I could see now that it wouldn't always be the case.

None of us wanted to toss out potentially lethal attacks. Or at least, I assumed that wasn't Circus' intent either. Circus disoriented Aegis with a flashbang and I did something similar to her with Clear Smog. Both made them desperate and more likely to lash out. Intent be damned, circumstances often overrode principles, one more lesson to keep in mind.

"I can see that," I said finally. "So what now?"

"Now, we wait for the cops, round up civilians who are around to give statements, then take her back to the PRT building," Aegis said. He popped a canister from his waist and tossed it at the unconscious villainess. It expanded to form a sort of foam that encased her completely.

"Containment foam," Vista explained. "It's breathable, fireproof, shockproof, and really hard to tear through. Dragon-made."

"Sounds handy," I said, "but what's keeping her from just pocketing all of it?"

"She can't store large objects, just things she can carry… I think…"

"You think?"

"Villains don't exactly come in for power testing," she defended herself. "Speaking of which…"

"Nope. Still not worth it."

"Worth a shot."

I stuck around; our patrol wasn't over yet. After having a chat with the cops and confirming that Clear Smog was not in fact poisonous, I started looking for places to be.

Aegis hovered over to me, Vista at his side. "Menagerie, thanks for joining us for patrol. The Protectorate heroes are a bit busy so we're going to escort Circus back to PRT. Did you want to come along?"

"You won't have any problems containing Circus?"

"Probably. She's not all that powerful, but she could be tricky."

I considered it. I still had some worries that she might be able to escape somehow. Did I want to go with them?

I shook my head and said politely "Sorry, but I think this is where we part ways, Aegis, Vista. It was a pleasure spending time with you both."

Aegis looked somewhat disappointed, awfully expressive for a guy with most of his face covered. "That's fine. We'll see you around."

"Before you go," I dug around in my jacket and pulled out a single bottle's worth of Stun Spore. It was one of those mini bottles that contained 8 fluid ounces given out in bake sales and other events like that. The golden powder gleamed like stardust when I shook it. "Here. Give her a sniff of this when she wakes up."

"What's this?"

"Stun Spore. It's something some of my pokemon can make. It'll paralyze people for a brief time and should give you enough time to put her to sleep."

"I see. We're going to have to test this thoroughly at the lab, but thank you. I'm sure Armsmaster will appreciate the gesture."

I wanted to tell him that I didn't give it to them so it could be Robocop's new science experiment, but gave up. I should have known that's how they'd use it. Who knew? If I could build more trust, they'd start paying me for bottles of different powders.

I sent them a casual wave goodbye and headed off on my own. Or, I tried, only to be confronted by a crowd of people who either wanted autographs or pictures. Sometime during the battle, we'd attracted at least one enterprising reporter.

"Sorry, I have plans for the rest of the day," I tried, gently pushing the mike that was shoved in my face.

"One question, Menagerie! Why have you chosen to remain independent?"

"I value my time," I said firmly. If the reporter got the dig, he ignored it gamely.

"Do you have any plans of visiting the hospital? Can you confirm or deny your relationship with Panacea?"

I shook my head. I didn't have time for this. I thrust my hand to the sky and shouted. "Shift, gengar!"

My body didn't shrink much, leaving me at about 5' 2". I felt my torso expand and turn smoke-like, even as my grin became like the Cheshire cat's. I glared down the camera with blood-red eyes before glowing aura filled them.

I was gengar, the "shadow pokemon," the quintessential ghost type. It was convenient that it was also a poison type.

"I appreciate those who value my time," I said firmly. My voice was husky now, both physical yet with the undertone of something else, something more sinister. It was Distortion, a cinder of a cinder of Giratina's intimidating presence, but it was there, an unspoken warning to delve no deeper.

With that, I sank into the shadow and made my escape. I had plans today. Namely, I wanted to give Emily her burner phone. She could probably use some money for food as well… and some electricity to charge the camping power station I got her. And of course, the talk.

Compared to helping my friend, what good were reporters?

X

I was lucky enough to find Emily in the base when I arrived. She told me she typically spent her days either in a soup kitchen or shelter helping out, serving food, and cleaning up and the like. It made her feel useful, an understandable need in her position. That it got her free access to the shower was probably a significant bonus.

I felt my heart clench in my smoke-like body. When I first met her, I thought of her almost like another trainer, someone who'd willingly turned away from society and chosen to live a life on the road. That impression was probably why I'd put off talking to her for so long, but it was wrong.

I was wrong.

Earth-Bet was nothing like the world I knew. There, there was plenty of support available for wandering trainers. Sponsors, both governmental and not, would happily throw money and supplies their way because trainers were seen as noble, valuable explorers, rangers, protectors, and heroes who stood against the dangers of the world. Being a vagabond was in fact a viable profession.

Here… Here wasn't so kind. Here, getting out of homelessness wasn't as easy as simply raising a decently strong pokemon and selling your services. Here, a young girl like her would never completely leave the shadow of this experience behind.

I looked around at our base, because somewhere along the line, it really had become "our" base. It was as much hers as mine at this point. there was a small nook with a sleeping bag in the corner. The power station was next to her. Connected to it was a light she was reading from. The hot plate was unplugged to save what battery she could.

It wasn't bad. I'd certainly slept in worse during my travels, but… but I could do better. Surely Blake Isley could provide better accommodations than this? I resolved again to help her find a life of her own. For starters, I needed to find out what she wanted in life.

"Psst," I whispered. "Em."

A part of me, the mischievous, vicious part that delighted in the fear of others, wanted to chuckle at the way she startled. Her full body tensed as she whipped her head around the room. She was wearing the same thing she wore when I first met her, a comfy sweater and a pair of dusty jeans.

"Blake?" she asked tentatively. "Are you invisible?"

"Close." I allowed myself to float out of her shadow. "Try a ghost."

"Oh, like litwick. Are the two related?"

"Gengar. This form's called gengar. And it's much, much faster than a litwick. And no, not related."

"Cool. As long as you don't make me bottle powders again."

"Yeah, not happening today. How's your day going?"

"Good. I helped serve breakfast and lunch at the shelter, bummed some food, took a shower, then came back here."

I shifted back and took a seat next to her, leaning my head against the wall. Then I realized I still had my helmet on and tossed that aside. "Sounds like an alright day. I had a patrol with the Wards."

"Really? Who?"

"Aegis and Vista."

"Hhehe, did you turn into something cute she could ride on?"

"No, not this time. I turned into this bag of gas that talks like an English gentleman and eats polluted air to spew clean air. It was fun until we had a fight with Circus."

"That clown villain? He's a thief, right?"

"She. I think… I don't know what Circus' gender is actually. I've just been calling them a she… And so were the Wards… Maybe they know?"

"She then. What happened?" The two of us chatted about our days. I told her how the fight went and the parts that bugged me. She looked nervous when I told her how Circus seemed willing to stab Vista if it meant making her escape. "Is that normal?"

"Maybe? I don't know. It's the first real fight I've been in. I think it's easy to talk about the unwritten rules and restraint but much harder in the moment when you think your own life or freedom is on the line."

"That's sad. And kind of scary."

"It is," I agreed. I dug in my pocket. "Here."

"A phone? Blake, I can't…"

"You can. It's just a cheap burner anyway. I want you to have it. My number's already inside. You need to be able to give me a call if you're in trouble. Or just bored. Or hungry. Em, you're my friend and I want you to be able to talk to me."

"I… Thank you…"

I smiled reassuringly. "No problem, Emily. Do you have money for food? Clothes? Socks? maybe a thicker bedroll to put beneath the sleeping bag?"

She looked away guiltily, but I could see her eyeing her depleting stock of canned goods. "You don't need to. I had some of the berries you made."

"I want to. You helped me out with making my costume and with harvesting powders. Did I mention that I gave a bottle of Stun Spore to Aegis so he can contain Circus more easily if she wakes up and tries to escape?"

"No."

"Well, I did. So you've indirectly helped with a villain. Think of this as payment, okay?"

"… Thanks…"

I nodded and dusted myself off before turning back to the power station. "Shift, toxel."

I turned into a weird cross between a dinosaur and a gecko, with a horn channeled electricity generated by chemical imbalances in my body. In short, a toxel's body was much like a battery and I used it to charge the power station for her.

I grinned as I padded back to her side. "See? No problem at all. I even like using pokemon forms like this, for things other than fighting."

"Thank you," she said, this time with a brighter smile.

"So, any reason you decided to come back to this place early?" I asked as I climbed into her lap. She began stroking my head and my eyes drooped shut.

"I just… It was too crowded there."

"That's alright. I honestly like it here more than the orphanage for the same reason."

"Really?"

"The company's better, for one," I teased.

She flushed, letting her curly bangs fall over her face. "Shut up."

"I mean it. You give great ear scritches. Second best in the world."

"Oh? Who's number one?"

"Panacea, not even a contest. But between you and me? She cheats," I said with a conspiratorial wink.

"How does she cheat? What? Does she keep catnip up her sleeves or something?"

"Hah, no. She uses her power to feel biology and so automatically knows exactly the right places to scratch."

"Hmm… I can live with that. Menagerie approved second best ear-scritcher in the world."

We giggled at that before falling into a comfortable silence. She picked up her book again and I stayed with my head rested in her lap even when I switched back. I began to doze as she ran her fingers through my hair.

Half an hour later, I gently pulled the book from her grip. "Say, Em?"

"Yes, Blake?"

"Can we talk?"

"We're talking now."

"Yeah, but we need to have the talk."

Her cheeks gained an adorable tinge of pink. She took a deep breath and shot me a confident grin. "Well, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much…"

I raised my head before bringing it down on her thigh with some force. "Not what I meant."

"Oh good, because I wasn't sure how I was going to explain the whole thing without dying of awkwardness."

I allowed her her moment of levity. "Powers," I said finally, "we need to talk about your powers."

"Oh… That talk…"

"Yup, that talk. You knew it was coming."

"I thought maybe… I could just not tell you… How'd you find out?"

I shrugged and looked up into her eyes. "I knew since day one. You threatened me with a box cutter, remember?"

"… Sorry…"

"I'm not mad about that. I'm just saying that's when I knew. When you're scared, you take deep breaths."

"Everyone does."

"They do, but not like you. Your whole body tenses, not as if you're ready to stab someone, but like you're going to breathe out. I recognize the posture because a lot of pokemon can breathe fire. Or ice. Or smoke. Or something else. That's your power, right? Some kind of breath weapon?"

"I… Yeah… Has anyone told you you're scary perceptive?"

I smiled. "Yes, actually, the vet I work with. I'm good with animals and being able to read body language is kind of important."

"Well he's right. You're scary sometimes."

"Sorry. I don't mean to pressure you, but…"

"This needs to be said. I get it," she sighed tiredly. "I breathe napalm. My spit, I can fire it out and it'll combust in the air and cling to stuff, melting them down."

"That's a lot of firepower."

She poked my ribs. "No. No puns… Now what? You know. Are you going to turn me in to the Wards?"

"No."

"Then what?"

"Whatever you want."

That caught her on the back foot. I didn't think she expected me to say that. "What?"

"Whatever you want," I repeated. "I meant it when I said I wasn't trying to pressure you. I wanted to clear the air. So, let's clear the air: What do you want, Emily? Any faction in the city would be tickled pink to have someone like you, but they don't matter. Hell, I don't matter. What matters here is what you want for yourself."

She looked conflicted at that. It was the look of someone who'd never been asked that question and I wondered not for the first time what kind of life she must have run away from. "What if I don't know? I've just been trying to survive, you know? One day at a time."

I reached out and took her hand, giving it a firm squeeze. "That's okay. You're my friend, Emily, and that means I'm going to help you figure it out, one step at a time."

She sent me a watery smile. "Thank you, Blake. For everything…"

I shifted awkwardly. I'd never been good at being thanked so I did what I normally did and bulldozed past it. "So… For starters, you were afraid I'd take you to the Wards. Any reason for that? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but I'd like to know."

"It's stupid."

"Your feelings aren't stupid."

"I just… I'm afraid they'll make me go home."

"Say no more. Home sucks. No Wards. Got it. But you can't stay here forever," I said gently. I felt her body stiffen with fearful tension. I said hastily, "I'm not kicking you out. Not now, not ever. You'll have this place for as long as you want it, but…"

"But?"

"I want better for you. An actual bed. A kitchen. A bathroom. A job. Money. A life that's more than just the shelter and trying to get by without drawing too much attention."

"How?" she asked with a bitter laugh. "I'm a homeless, sixteen year old girl. No papers. No ID. The best job I can get is spreading my legs bent over a dumpster, Blake." Is that what you want from me? she didn't say.

I squeezed her hand tighter. "That's not what I mean. Work with me Emily. Is the reason you don't want to use your powers because you're afraid of being drafted into the Wards or something else?"

"Both. My powers suck, Blake. I breathe napalm. Not fire, napalm. When I hit someone, they don't get hurt, they die. That's all my power's good for, killing. The only people who'd accept me are the gangs and I don't want to be their enforcer."

"Not true. I accept you. I know and still like you." I had a crazy idea. I didn't even have my own costume yet. But… But I'd offered to work with Theresa; why couldn't I do the same for her? A costume? That could come in time. "What if… What if Menagerie had a partner?"

Her eyes widened. "Me?"

"You."

"I'm not a hero."

"Not yet. No one's born a hero."

"But my power's only good for hurting people."

"We can find a way to use your power for good."

"I… What if I hurt someone?"

"Then I heal them."

"What if I kill them?"

"You won't because I won't let you," I promised. I held her hand and squeezed tight, trying to convey my conviction. I'd made one such promise before, to Luca when he was a riolu and I was just an orphan in Canalave. I couldn't even remember what we were fighting about, but that's how we became friends. Sworn brothers. A promise. A hope. An oath to be the strongest of all. "If you become my partner, I promise I will protect you, even from yourself."

"I…" She met my eyes with soulful brown. She closed her eyes tight and shook her head. "I'm sorry…"

"It's okay," I told her, quashing the disappointment deep in my chest. Her power, her choice.

"Just… Please give me time…"

"You have all the time in the world. Emily, you don't have to use your power if you don't want to. No pressure, remember?" The two of us fell silent, lost in thought. "Let's switch tracks. What do you want to do?"

"Huh?"

"When you were younger, what did you want to do?"

"You're going to laugh."

"Have I ever laughed at you?" The put upon look she leveled at me made me grin. "Okay, have I ever laughed at you for something serious?"

"No… Artist. I wanted to be a famous painter."

"Right, you were pretty good at sketching."

"I'm even better at painting. I took classes for eight years… That's not really a job I can have though."

I considered it. Burgh used to say that art was an expression of the soul, a language that bridged all divides, be they culture or distance or time. The bug type gym leader was a bit too melodramatic and we weren't exactly close, but he wasn't wrong.

I remembered back in middle school when the orphanage went through a major cleaning phase. The matron took most of the junk that accumulated over the years to the junkyard, but a few choice items we could spare were sold in the Lord's Street Market. It was a bit of a flea market and we didn't make much, but renting a booth wasn't exactly pricey.

"What if you could?" I asked. "Paint, I mean."

"Huh?"

"I could get you painting supplies. You could make whatever you want here for a week, then we can rent space at Lord's Market once a week."

"I… You… We can do that?"

"I don't see why not. It'd be a good way to get you some money for starters," I told her. "It won't get you an apartment or anything, but just food and spending money for clothes and whatnot? That sounds doable."

"Thanks, Blake. I promise I'll pay you back."

"Nope. You won't. This isn't about money; it's about helping out a friend." I hopped to my feet and reached out a hand, pulling her up. "Come on. I'll work on getting you an ID or something later, but in the meantime, we can go get you some paints and canvas."

"You know a forger?"

I thought about it. Marcus might if I asked. Or he'd know someone who did. Using the ABB for any reason rubbed me the wrong way though. "No, no I don't," I said, "but I refuse to believe that in a city with superpowers, there isn't a single person making IDs for people."

"And what then?"

"Then we make sure the ID says you're eighteen and find you a job that won't suck out your soul before saving enough to get you an apartment."

She bumped my shoulder. "You must really want me out of here, huh?"

I grinned and bumped her right back. "It'd be nice to crash on your couch for a change."

"You don't have a couch."

"True, true. So, tell me about painting…"

The two of us chatted amicably as we explored a few arts and crafts stores along the Boardwalk. I didn't know there were that many shades of red, or that there were so many different qualities of brushes, but seeing my friend smile made my heart feel lighter.

By the time we were through, she had a pack of six 12x18 canvases, a whole color wheel's worth of acrylic paints and watercolors, and eight brushes Emily told me were of excellent quality. I tried to not let her see the price tag and mostly succeeded.

The two of us grabbed dinner at a Salvadoran place a few blocks from the Boardwalk before heading back to the base to drop off her things.

X

That night, I leaned back into my bed and counted my money. $2,000, give or take a few twenties. After buying Emily her painting supplies, food, a burner phone, and a few more clothes (against her protests), I'd also grabbed some outfits for myself to wear in my civilian life.

I wasn't too concerned about the way I dressed, but I was starting to outgrow some of my clothes.

I wondered if $2,000 was enough to get someone to forge an ID for Emily.

Putting aside my worries for now, I sat cross-legged and began to meditate. When I faced Circus today, I had only just shifted to Galarian weezing and had the full transformation duration to fight with. Had I run out early, I could have been in deep trouble even with the Wards backing me. I couldn't let that happen.

I quieted my heart and allowed my aura to rise. Bit by bit, I was growing stronger. The inward reality of my soul was imposing itself on my body.

I sighed. Just as I was getting into it, Marcus came out of the shower and climbed into the upper bunk. It wasn't anything offensive, but his motion was enough to jostle me from my meditative trance. No matter what I tried, I couldn't muster up the same focus.