War: 6.5. Parahumans Online (Patreon)

Preface

Originally, I wasn't sure I was going to make the 5k minimum word count for this commission, and it was a good stopping point for a PHO interlude, so I wrote this up to pad my word count.

Think of it as a canonized omake. It's lighthearted, but not to the point that I think it deviates from the story.

In any case, I figured you may as well have this. This fully completes my monthly commissions.

Chapter 6.5: Parahumans Online

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♦ Topic: Brockton Bay Endbringer Siren
In: Boards ► General ► United States ► New England ► Brockton Bay
Reave (Original Poster) (Verified PRT Agent)
Posted On May 2nd 2011:

***This is an official PRT Announcement.***

Please note that there is no incoming endbringer. I repeat: There is no endbringer.

The alarm was raised in response to an ongoing battle between ABB leader Lung and a new hero by the name of Atreus. Atreus responded to a battle in an abandoned warehouse between the Empire, Undersiders, and Lung. He was unfortunately unable to stop Lung from escalating and has since taken the fight out to sea in an attempt to minimize collateral damage.

At this time, we believe there is no cause for alarm. The PRT is issuing a limited evacuation notice for those who live within four blocks of the coast. Please see [this] map for details. If your house falls within the highlighted area, please seek your nearest endbringer shelter. Otherwise, please shelter in place.

Edit: Alert over. The new hero killed Lung. Those who were affected by the sudden tidal wave can find aid and resources [here]. We still recommend you remain inside if able so as to help us streamline the emergency aid process.

(Showing page 1 of 2)

►Brocktonite03 (Veteran Member)
Replied On May 2nd 2011:
What the shit? Oh, lol I live two miles inland. Haha, suckers! Who wants to live near the Boardwalk now? Down with the bourgeoisie!

►Answer Key
Replied On May 2nd 2011:

Dude, what the fuck is wrong with you? The sky is on fucking fire and you're joking about this?

►Brocktonite03 (Veteran Member)
Replied On May 2nd 2011:

Welcome to Brockton Bay. You new?

►Coyote-C
Replied On May 2nd 2011:

Guys, I'm scared. Lung flew by my house like a minute ago and the sky is on fire. And now there’s [this bullshit] going on and it looks like there’s an entire constellation in the sky. It’s fucking four in the afternoon.

Someone explain this shit for me, please. For the sake of my sanity. Please. What the hell is Atreus’ power? He turned the day to night!

►White Fairy (Veteran Member)
Replied On May 2nd 2011:

Don't worry. No endbringer means Lung should hopefully start de-sizing sooner rather than later. He gets stronger based on danger or something and I can’t imagine a single cape being strong enough to fuel his growth. Who the hell is Atreus though?

►AverageAlexandros (Cape Husband)
Replied On May 2nd 2011:

He's a new hero. He looks like [this], so think Dauntless, but shirtless. And apparently with some serious star power (heh).

►Specific_Protagonist
Replied On May 2nd 2011:
Dammnnn… Those abs… Can I call him daddy?

►AverageAlexandros (Cape Husband)
Replied On May 2nd 2011:

lol For once, the cape you're drooling over is clearly not a minor. Oh, and he took the New Wave route. Atreus is his actual name.

[Here], I found a picture of his face without the mask. He works at a bakery on the Boardwalk. Yes, a bakery. Yes, it’s called Buns ‘n’ Roses. Also yes, he’s got the guns to those roses.

►Specific_Protagonist
Replied On May 2nd 2011:

Hah! No ban! So Dauntless x Atreus ship when? Excuse me while I go write my newest masterpiece.

*This user has received an infraction.

►AverageAlexandros (Cape Husband)
Replied On May 2nd 2011:

Brilliger, can you ban her anyway? Pretty please?

►Brilliger (Moderator: Protectorate Main)
Replied On May 2nd 2011:

I really wish I could, but I have to let this one slide. Take an infraction anyway for straying off topic.

►Bagrat (Veteran Member) (The Guy in the Know)
Replied On May 2nd 2011:

Hey all, sorry I'm a bit late to the party. I have updates though.

If you didn't know, the villains of the city met in a neutral place several days ago and agreed to an armistice for the duration of the Bakuda crisis. There is an implicit understanding that the gangs won’t cause trouble until this whole thing is over, so even the heroes are included to an extent.

Anyway, several different teams made up of villains from separate factions assaulted multiple ABB holdings today. The team led by Kaiser found Lung, resulting in a battle involving Kaiser, Fenja, Menja, Hellhound, Skitter, Newter, and Sundancer. You know shit’s real when even Faultline sent her guy to help out; she’s never involved in the city’s affairs.

No one knows what happened exactly, only that they obviously failed to take him down in time. I found [video footage] of Kaiser getting carried away by Fenja (or is that Menja) so at least one cape was injured in the raid.

Then Atreus, who was helping protect paramedics nearby, decided to step in and take over the fight. The fight quickly got out of control and the entire city block is [literally boiling]. I don’t know what temperature asphalt needs to be to do that, but I’m betting it’s way north of “unsafe.”

Smoke and fire hazard warnings were issued via text much earlier on. Firefighters tried to contain it all, but the heat was too much for them to do anything about it. [Here’s] the map of the affected area. I hope everyone in the highlighted field is okay.

Beyond that though, the endbringer siren is a false alarm. There is no endbringer.

►Coyote-C
Replied On May 2nd 2011:

*Looks up at the endbringer-sized dragon and Spartan duking it out*

Bagrat, I respect the hell out of you and I tend to trust your sources implicitly, but may I point out that the motherfucking sky is on fire! What do you mean by false alarm?!?!

►Laotsunn (Kyushu Survivor)
Replied On May 2nd 2011:

Yeah, Bagrat. [Lung] right now has four wings. Have you ever seen him with four wings? Because I have. Guess where? Go on, guess.

Seriously getting some “There is no war in Ba Sing Se,” vibes.

►Bagrat (Veteran Member) (The Guy in the Know)
Replied On May 2nd 2011:

Okay, maybe false alarm isn't the right term, sorry.

Still, no matter how strong people think Lung is, he’s not an endbringer. Let’s take this step by step like logical people, guys. Atreus does seem to have this well in hand. He shoved Lung out to sea, past even the Rig. There's only so much Lung can grow when he's only facing one person, guys.

If you want to follow the battle, [Leet] set up a livestream and removed the delay he normally uses to keep cops from jumping him and Uber too fast. His snitch is finally reporting on something useful for a change.

►Laotsunn (Kyushu Survivor)
Replied On May 2nd 2011:
I'm glad you're an optimist, but I DGAF what the PRT has to say about this. I'm getting out of town as soon as possible. If you're smart, you will too. Lung's at least as big as he was in Kyushu. Read my tag. Trust me, I would know.

My advice? Leave.

►Reave (Original Poster) (Verified PRT Agent)
Replied On May 2nd 2011:

Good news: The heroes have [arrived]. They're gathering in front of PRT HQ and will be led by Legend. Only flying blasters and heat-resistant brutes have been cleared for participation so it's taking some time to get a coordinated response.

►Coyote-C
Replied On May 2nd 2011:

Oh, thank god.

►Bagrat (Veteran Member) (The Guy in the Know)
Replied On May 2nd 2011:
Wait, it looks like they no longer have a reason to be here. Here's the [timestamp] into the stream. Atreus umm... I'm not sure how to describe it. He became a giant flaming Spartan(?) and punched a hole in Lung's chest. Lung doesn't look like he's healing.

Edit: Can [confirm], Lung is dead.

►Aloha
Replied On May 2nd 2011:
Holy shit. What the fuck is wrong with your city? First I hear stories about some lunatic putting bombs in people’s heads a la Bonesaw, then this shit.

Seriously, how the hell did you get from not-Bonesaw to this???

End of Page.   1

(Showing page 2 of 2)

►White Fairy (Veteran Member)
Replied On May 2nd 2011:
“Hell” is right. I too would like to know, Aloha. I’ve lived here all my life, since the reign of Marquis for all you young’uns, and I honestly don’t know why I’m still here. Sometimes, I really do think I’m a masochist.

On the plus side, I’ve never wanted for excitement in my life so there’s that.

Reave, is the alert over?

►Reave (Original Poster) (Verified PRT Agent)
Replied On May 2nd 2011:
Yes. As per S-class protocols, thinker support from out of the city was tapped. We have independent verification from Watchdog that Lung is dead. Let me edit the post so people don’t freak out anymore.

►Antigone
Replied On May 2nd 2011:
Holy shit, I just saw the video. Atreus killed Lung in one hit???

Like, it’s good that I can stop freaking out over Lung, but now I’m freaking out over [whatever the fuck this is].

►Brocktonite03 (Veteran Member)
Replied On May 2nd 2011:
Ehh... They've been fighting for a while. I don't think you can call it one hit.

►Antigone
Replied On May 2nd 2011:
What the hell does [this] look like to you?

►Brocktonite03 (Veteran Member)
Replied On May 2nd 2011:
The culmination of an escalation-based power not unlike Lung's.

►Bagrat (Veteran Member) (The Guy in the Know)
Replied On May 2nd 2011:
lol It's... not...

I hate to break it to you, but I have it on good authority that Atreus' power was deemed "incalculable" because he broke Armsmaster's industrial-grade hydraulic press while weightlifting during power testing. He also raced from one end of the lab to the other, breaking every single sensor and very expensive equipment they had, just from the sonic boom from his passing. There were some discussions about flying him out to LA so he can use Alexandria's.

It would be unusual if he exclusively gains increased pyrokinetic constructs as he fights. People are either that strong right off the bat, or they start out weak in all facets of their powers and scale up slowly. They don’t have only some powers be strong while others grow over time.

The consensus so far is that he's always been this strong and hasn’t felt the need to do much with it until Bakuda sent someone into his bakery and blew him up. [Here], I found the police report.

So long story short, Bakuda poked the (metaphorical) dragon and it promptly killed the (actual) dragon.

►Brocktonite03 (Veteran Member)
Replied On May 2nd 2011:
Well... New fear unlocked... Extremely buff not-Spartans with fire powers.

In unrelated news, this city is now named Sparta. If you don't like it, you can take it up with DauntShirtless.

►1337 (Verified Cape)
Replied On May 2nd 2011:
My stream's never been more popular, but fuck, guys. I'm not brave enough to make Sparta jokes at Atreus.

►Brocktonite03 (Veteran Member)
Replied On May 2nd 2011:
Shh... No one tell him where I live…

►Uberman (Verified Cape)
Replied On May 2nd 2011:
Well, we got our snitch back and 1337 found out that a part of it melted. It’s held up remarkably well, all things considered, but our streams might go on hiatus for a bit.

►Answer Key
Replied On May 2nd 2011:
And nothing of value was lost…

►1337 (Verified Cape)
Replied On May 2nd 2011:
Hey, fuck you, I don’t see you doing anything useful today.

►Brilliger (Moderator: Protectorate Main)
Replied On May 2nd 2011:

Shh. Stay on topic. And for once, I’m kinda with 1337 on this one. You did good, game-gremlin.

►Bagrat (Veteran Member) (The Guy in the Know)
Replied On May 2nd 2011:
Well... fuck...

So, remember when I said I had some sources? I went back to check some of those out again and Atreus' files are a minefield. Like, shit, the guy just wanted to learn to be a baker so I skimmed his files and put them to the side.

First off, he's a Case-22. For those uninitiated, that's the case number reserved for dimension travelers in the same way Case-53 is reserved for atypical physiology and amnesia. The most famous example of this is the villain named Professor Haywire and those he displaced using his tech. He was killed over a decade ago, but the case number got broadened to include all other dimension-hoppers.

Second, he says he came back with a star. As in he literally came to this world with a new star in the night sky. Given his earlier light show, I'm not sure he's lying.

►Dragon_Official (Verified Cape) (Guild)
Replied On May 2nd 2011:
I can confirm that, Bagrat. [Here] are star charts before and after his arrival from various observatories and my own satellite. I have highlighted the star, given the same name as the man, for your convenience.

►Laotsunn (Kyushu Survivor)
Replied On May 2nd 2011:
He... He did it... He killed Lung… Could he, maybe, fight Leviathan next? What does he want? Does anyone know? Because I’d suck his dick to point him Levi’s way.

►Bagrat (Veteran Member) (The Guy in the Know)
Replied On May 2nd 2011:
He's signed up for S-class response if that's what you're asking. Other than that, he wants to be a baker.

No, AverageAlexandros was not joking. He literally just spent the first several weeks of his time in Brockton as a baker’s assistant in a shop called Buns ‘n’ Roses (great name). I’ve been there a few times but didn’t make the connection because [this] mugshot doesn’t really look like [this] giant, flaming not-Spartan.

The bakery literally got glassed thanks to one of Bakuda’s transmutation bombs, but Atreus tanked the hit to save his employer, which was what got him involved in this mess.

►White Fairy

Replied On May 2nd 2011:

Oh, wow, I’ve been there too. It’s on the Boardwalk. The owner’s name is Rose (hence the store name) and she makes some awesome food, especially if you ask in advance. I just realized the guy who did [this] also made my morning croissant a week ago.

►Answer Key
Replied On May 2nd 2011:
Wait, Bagrat, you mean you had a new cape who happily volunteered for S-class response work and you just skimmed his file? Priorities, man.

►Bagrat (Veteran Member) (The Guy in the Know)
Replied On May 2nd 2011:
I had other demands on my time, alright?  This was when Bakuda first got going with her bombing spree. S-class or not, he works at a bakery. He wasn't an active cape until one of Bakuda's suicide bombers bombed his shop and she made herself his problem.

I seriously doubt she’s going to be anyone’s problem for long though.

►Brocktonite03 (Veteran Member)
Replied On May 2nd 2011:
Wait, what? Hahahaha, that's hilarious. Talk about signing your own death warrant.

RIP, Baku-bitch.

End of Page.   1, 2

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