Life Update #1 (Patreon)

what I am gonna share next is something hard and complicated for me to do.

i dont oftenly like sharing too much about my life, but when it starts affecting my drawing rhythm is when i think is important to share.

In all cases im gonna just tell you about how april 2021 was like for.

The month started like any other, actually my parents were sort of excited because they were gonna be able to get the 1st dose of the vacinne the week after, but at april 2nd (friday) my dad started to have some sickness symptoms, we thougth it was a regular flu, but it didnt improve and on the other hand it got worse. We didnt wanted to think it was something worst(covid) but just to be sure we decided to have some covid test the coming monday, and then the worst result happened, my dad got Covid (+) but to make it worst my mom and i also took the test and we got the same result as well, this wasnt exactly nice because my mom got covid sick for 2nd time  (she got covid + past year around november), luckily it didnt affect her as bad as the another time, in my case it worked like this : I felt with lack of energy, I cough, but at the nigths my legs and arms got cold and i started having fever, but with some meds,rest and proper food, it wasnt that bad, the problem was my dad, he got worse all of the sudden, i was the one that aplied him meds all the week and my mom was always next to him but the saturday he just said he felt like he couldnt move too much (asthenia), and my mom visited a doctor with him, it wasnt the regular one she visited but one recomened by such dr she couldnt visist, he gave meds to my dad and not sure if you know but i studied medicine, so i have contacts that are drs as well so i asked to them their opinions about the meds and they said they werent exactly the most helpful ones and suggested me other ones, weekend pass and the monday was tricky, my dad seemed a lot better and we decided to make alung x-ray to see how much it was, he had atypical pneumonia, that wasnt a good sign so  decided to give him some meds.

Tuesday arrived and the morning and afternoon nothing odd, the problem and the reason for this long journal happened, at 8 pm my dad started to have low oxygen result, we were supervising by using an oximeter and it suddenly reache 80% (normal is over 95, my dad had 90% before but it was improving) my mom panicked and me while stressed had to drive to a private hospital (at my country there exist public hospital that have money support by goverment, privates oftenly offer better services because you pay for all used), but for our misfortune we were declind by the hospital, we didnt have any other option left and we didnt wanted to hospitalize him in a public hospital but withouth options my mom decided to do some calls, the Dr from the saturday's apointment suggested a public hospital because in my city those ones had something call " covid speciality area" and for the urgency we decided to go there, my dad was hospitalized he got his oxygen messure again and this time it was 75%, worst part happened, we were in anxiety for hours so my mom did some calls, he got the number of another Dr, one that worked in the "covid speciality area " and he just told her " people that reach with that messure oftenly doesnt make it, so be prepared " that panicked my mom even more and honestly i hated what he said, as a dr you arent suppose to say something like that when nothing hasnt been done yet, but not too much after my sister arrived and spent the hours with us, the hospital never told us nothing until 1 am, they told us " your dad is fine, he got 94% of oxygen, if he was bad he couldnt reach that " so we went to sleep.

Wednesday, no one could sleep, we got no information from the hospital, they said they were gonna contact us but again the information was minimal, we went to the hospital to get info but nothing, we returned home and mid day happened we got a call from the hospital just to say my dad was awful, he got from 94% from last tim they told us into 55%, we panick, they also inform us my dad firm a document where he declind been tubed (that is a methode where a tube is conected to the lungs to help people to breath better), but he didnt sign it becuase he heard that process killed many people, i got information from my contacts and they told me he need it, it was for his best, but because my did signed that nothing was been done and any lost time was crucial, but due the lack of contact from the hospital no one knew what to do, until my mom remember a neighbour of us she knew a dr that worked in that hospital, we enter in contact with him and he help us to get us in contact with my dad, my sister and mom were the only ones able to see him, due covid there is a limit of how many people can be at same time in areas, so i couldn't see him, but i got a call from sister where i could "talk" with him, but it was mostly him listening because he couldnt reply back due the oxygen mask he had i just told him how much i loved him and how important was to accept get tubed, so he did it. In all the time my dad was in the hospital I was so confident that all was gonna go smoothly and fine, but hours later I got a call from my sister to tell me my dad Passed Away, the hospital said they tried resuscitation maneuvers for half an hour without success.

i really couldn't believe it, i still don't, but when i got the recipe from the hospital and i saw everything that was done to my dad i started to realize he didnt received any sort of meds, you know, when someone is in this critic state there are meds that will help people but aparently my dad just got Test to see how it was and Oxygen, the tubed wasnt even charged. I share this because i pretty much think the reason for this to happen was a Medical negligence, that is my theory, but i really cant confirm because i wasn't there but consider how the services provided to us, the family, was like i couldn't get the idea out of my head.

We got at least lucky enough to have a sort of funeral for him, but because the Covid, not many people were there, it made me feel extremely sad to see that because in life my dad always helped a lot of people. but well i just appreciate everyone that was there. The next 9 days we went to the church to pray for him. My dad passed away at April 14th from 2021, so after that day i started to get in charge of what most of activities my dad used to do, honestly it doesn't bother me, but it's been tiring, my dad made a lot of activities and while i do many of them my mom does others, form home activities to work ones, it's just tiring and besides we had to full finish the legal procedures about my dad's funeral, we had to get documents, pay many services we got because of this and turn down other services my had paid for himself, i can just say its hard, but it has to be done.

It's been almost 17 days since then,im not feeling any better, the worst part just came after the funeral, the silence its awful, it makes me think and when i think i remember the whole situation, things that could have been done, what we did wrong, but while all of these things will not change nothing, i can't stop thinking in them, the space my dad left its big and just dont see him around its strange, all of this was sudden, compared to a car accident, no one was prepared, my dad just had 64 years, i dont think that is old enougth, i really cant believe it, but well been distracted seems to been helpful rigth now, not sure if is the best but its what i can do, some friend's company has been the most helpful thing for me these past days, also draw turned from a hobby to just something that keeps me involved.

Its certainly not easy to share this, im not sure when its gonna get better so i want to let you know im gonna be bussier than usual in real life, but im gonna try to keep drawing, as i said its an activity that distracts me, but if it takes me more than usual to come with something, you know why, i have more responsabilities now. If you reached this point i just wanna thank you for read this much, and if you can do me a favor, pls hug your dad if you can, apreciate the little moments of life and enjoy the company of people now that you have them.

Thanks a lot for read