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I wanted to give everyone a heads up.

So...um...yeah. I kind of almost died.

I'm recovering now and the doc says I should be fine, but that is why I haven't posted anything. I plan to put out something either late today or tomorrow, but I wanted to let you know what was going on.


------- Below here is gross details, not for the faint of heart -------

Earlier in the week I got food poisoning. If you have never experienced it, then let me tell you, it's not fun. You release from both ends in a never ending stream of unpleasantness. As long as you keep hydrated and don't keep eating/drink whatever gave you problems, it's usually not a life threatening issue. Not fun, but in a modern society, not a death sentence.

Unfortunately for me, my doctor was a fucking moron.

Part of the problem for me was that my vomiting was violent. So violent in fact that I cracked a rib. This was more of an issue than the food poisoning, or at least, combined with the vomiting it was. I have asthma, so I was already having breathing issues between the vomiting episodes and the doc was starting to worry about me breathing in the vomit. With a cracked rib though, all it would have really taken was a bit more jarring to break it completely and then I would have had a floating jagged bit of bone poking around towards my lung while my chest cavity was violently contracting. That is a bad combination.

My doctors solution was perfunctory and quick. Muscle relaxers. It was mostly a precaution since it was unlikely I would actually break the rib entirely and far more likely I would just be left in horrible pain while spraying nastiness in every direction at once. Did you know that when you have a cracked rib the suggestion is to remain flat and not to bend the waist? try doing that while vomiting or shitting.

seriously.

try.

I'll wait.

Yeah.

So the muscle relaxers wouldn't help me with the pain, or the projectile orifice issue, but it would make the breaking less likely. Unfortunately my doctor never checked my chart. The chart which said I was allergic to that muscle relaxer.

Yeah, when one doctor chews out another while outside the door of your room, it's a sign that they might have screwed up. It looks like I'm getting my medical care comped. Yeah, I could probably try for more, but seriously? no. that way lies more pain and suffering.

So, itchy, swollen, not breathing well, vomiting, shitting, and serious pain. Generally, a less than fun time.

I'm recovering now. The projectile phase is over, I feel like an 80 year old with paper thin skin and every muscle aches (seriously, why did I need to curl my toes when vomiting? seriously?) but I will survive.